AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Mama wings DATE: 7/15/2010 09:00:00 PM ----- BODY:
It is finally sinking in why mamas get baby fever. After Christopher, I didn't have baby fever. I knew that I wanted another baby, but it was more practical than feverish. I really wanted two little ones in the house at the same time. I wanted them to be siblings close in age.

But now, Colin is sitting up. He reaches for me after I unbuckle his carseat straps. He reaches to turn pages in a book. His gums are swollen from the teeth that are considering making an appearance soon.

He is not my little baby anymore, and I don't know where the time went.

When I was a mama for the first time, the days and weeks, hell - the hours - drug on like a Jim Jarmusch film. It took forever for me to get comfortable and confident with going out in public. It took forever for me to feel like I could gracefully nurse my new baby. It took forever for me to settle into life as a dyad, a coupled unit with my firstborn son.

When Christopher turned six months old, it felt like an entire lifetime to me. So much had changed, and I had endured the tempest of the trial by fire education of a first time mama. It was a relief to get to six months.

As a second time mama though, things have been entirely different. Colin's birth serves as a beautiful metaphor for how I feel with him. We were immediately attached. Connected. We never broke that dyad bond after he was born, so we never had to reform it. It was just there.

Realize here, that I'm not comparing my sons. I'm comparing my mothering. That's completely different than comparing my children.

After Colin was born, we were back home in a matter of hours. It was as if he had just magically appeared into our lives - as if he had always been there. Christopher was just at a morning playdate, and when it was time to come home and eat lunch, well shucks - his baby brother was miraculously there.

And it's been that way ever since, leaving the days and weeks - and hours - to simply fly past. It's not that I'm not noticing milestones, it's just that I can't believe they've already come and gone.

First time mama was so frustrated if the baby wasn't asleep at a certain time. Second time mama is just proud that the baby has finally started napping on his own every now and then. He'll sleep when he's ready.

First time mama was ready to feed the baby rice cereal exactly two weeks before his six month appointment. Second time mama is just amused at the way the baby pushes his banana around on the tray and licks it. He'll eat when he's ready.

First time mama was trying to figure out how to get to BlogHer with the baby and still feel connected to her old self. Second time mama is just happy to be at home with her family and still feel connected to her whole self. I'll venture out when both boys are ready.

It's strange. On the one hand, I feel so relaxed; like there is time for everything. On the other hand, I feel like time is slipping away; like my baby is growing up a million times faster than his big brother did. I can blink and get a glimpse of next year, and the next, and the ones not too far away when Mallory is leaving for college, Christopher is starting school, Colin is more than a toddler, and I'm turning 40.

Life is becoming a fly by for me in some ways, and I'm grateful - because it's my children who gave me my wings.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Mem DATE:Thursday, July 15, 2010 at 9:11:00 PM EDT oh the hormones! or your fab writing- but this made me cry! i am so there with you- and i have three- and wow does it go fast- henry's life went so fast that i barely remember it and now i am trying desperately to savor my small children- to enjoy the trenches of lots of little ones all over me and my never brushed hair and teeth because all too soon it will be gone. sigh. hug that big baby for me and tell christo-brrrr that we love him ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Sofi DATE:Thursday, July 15, 2010 at 9:41:00 PM EDT That makes two of us with hormones and tears. You are a terrific writer. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: The singing wachine machine DATE: 7/14/2010 09:19:00 PM ----- BODY:
I'm sitting on a pile of laundry. Granted, it's clean, but I'm sitting on it. It's just that as soon as I open a page to compose a post, I remember that I have clothes to fold, diapers to assemble, dogs to feed, dishes to wash, or a baby starts to cry.

So, I'm sitting on the laundry. Quite literally.

Sometimes I still get extremely overwhelmed. I can't seem to help it. The house still isn't finished, the washing machine broke, the Jeep needs new tires, the front tire of my stroller burst, and the xBox broke. Every time we turn around, something else needs about $850 thrown at it. It's ridiculous.

The weekend found me stewing about our new washer and dryer. I mean, how stupid is that? My husband buys a fantastic new washer and dryer set, and I'm pissed off about it. Sometimes I'm a moron.

The washer is sick. It will wash 31 bath towels at once. Not that I own 31 bath towels or that I plan to, but whatever. It's very proud of the work it does. When it's done with a load, it plays a tune. A full out song - not a bell tone, but a virtual symphony. "AHHHH! Your clothes are CLEAN!!!" It's the most noise the thing makes ever.

But it doesn't fit in the existing laundry room. They are too deep, and the only solution was to move them out into the new part of the house. Into my office/sewing/crafting room. The room that I had all laid out with my sewing machine, serger, ironing board, storage, filing, and art supplies for the boys. It was going to be our create-space.

And now I'll have to do chores in it.

Oh my stars. I am SUCH a whiner. But I was sad. Granted, I'm over it, but I was sad.

Until tonight, when I happened to discover the musical talents of our new washer. Just when I was cursing having to find shoes to go out to the unfinished floor full of sawdust, wire cuttings, and random nails, that stupid washer began to sing a little song; telling me my clothes were CLEAN! LA LA LA!

And I had to smile. I keep saying, and it's true, "It's all going to be lovely."

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Nita DATE:Wednesday, July 14, 2010 at 10:22:00 PM EDT Yep - it's a beautiful thing. Much better than any old annoying buzzzzzz. I also like the dainty beeps mine makes as I am pushing buttons too.

Enjoy your clean laundry. I used to love jumping in to a pile of warm laundry when I was a kid. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Kelly Jernigan DATE:Thursday, July 15, 2010 at 12:33:00 PM EDT Complain on, sister...I say until a washing machine can also dry clothes, sort them, fold them & put them away I can't get excited about it ;)

I will agree that the song sounds nicer than the buzz that they typically make! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous toddlerplanet DATE:Thursday, July 15, 2010 at 6:56:00 PM EDT It is all going to be lovely! Hooray!

And one day, it will even be DONE. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Bird's first movie: Toy Story 3 DATE: 7/06/2010 11:24:00 PM ----- BODY:
I was going to be one of those moms who didn't introduce the TV or movies until after her child was two years old.

*pause here for explosive laughter*

Right. So, that. Didn't really happen.

Christopher loves Cars. He loves Toy Story. He loves Elmo. He loves Jack's Big Music Show. He loves Wonder Pets, Dinosaur Train, the rest of Sesame Street, and he LOVES Super Why almost as much as he ADORES Kipper.

At any given moment of the day, he can be heard flying a Buzz Lightyear toy around the room and yelling, "Super Readers to the RESCUE!" Occasionally he will actually put Buzz's lines with Buzz, but for some reason, he just really likes to yell, "Super Readers to the RESCUE!"

Do I regret having a 2 1/2 year old who loves the TV like he does? A little bit. I admit it. I wish that he didn't, and I'm thinking of canceling our cable so that we don't feel anymore fiscal obligation to sit on our asses in front of it.


Taking the family to see Toy Story 3 in the movie theater yesterday was one of the most fun things we have done yet.

We explained to Christopher that we were going to see a NEW Toy Story movie - one that he hadn't seen before. It would be dark in the theater, and the screen would be really BIG. He wouldn't be allowed to talk or get up and walk around, but there would be popcorn. After we told him that yes, he could take Woody and Buzz with him to the movies, he was completely sold on the whole plan.

While we waited on Kevin to buy the tickets, I followed Christopher around the lobby while he found every movie poster that had Toy Story on it and cried out, "LOOK! MY TOY STORY!" and then he would begin to sing his most favorite song in the whole world while his plastic Woody toy danced along.

"I got a friend in me. I GOT A FRIEND IN ME!"

As you can see, he has appropriately changed the pronouns to match his mother's introverted and socially stunted personality. Awesome.

With the exception of the previews, which were louder than the second coming of our Lord and all the heavens, it all went well. Colin fell asleep on the boobie as planned, and Christopher sat literally on the edge of his seat the whole time, only moving to dance whenever the music took any part of the forefront.

He had the BEST time, and I'm afraid that we will never ever be that family who remains untouched and unscathed by consumer marketing.

Bah. Who cares, really? After all, my son's first favorite song is by Randy Newman. If that's the result of all this media? It's not so bad after all.

*Note the completely sold out to consumerism Toy Story t-shirt that Bird is sporting, but paired with some hipster homemade pants out of some awesome Micheal Miller fabric. Such an oxymoron of an outfit.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Renee Graves DATE:Tuesday, July 6, 2010 at 11:54:00 PM EDT G went and saw it a few days ago with her aunt and uncle. They were a little freaked out, saying that it was much darker and scarier than the first two, and that they hadn't expected that. However, G was not fazed by it at all - I think she liked it more than they did. My sis, however, did cop to crying like a baby.... ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Issas Crazy World DATE:Wednesday, July 7, 2010 at 12:36:00 PM EDT I still remember the first movies I took each of my girls too.

I'm glad to hear he had a blast. Am considering taking my son. But at 21 months...he will only sit still for Cars. So? Maybe not. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Convertible Girl DATE:Wednesday, July 7, 2010 at 1:46:00 PM EDT I'm with you the whole way -- and poor Pip, she never had a chance on the no-TV-until-age-2 plan. Oh well. At least they'll be so knowledgeable about pop culture when they're older. We're off to TS3 on Friday! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous JessicaAPISS DATE:Saturday, July 10, 2010 at 9:00:00 AM EDT I'm taking my two demons today! And we all can't wait.

Tell me you're going to BlogHer??? YOu'll make my entire weekend if you say YES! ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: It's gonna have real strings and everything DATE: 7/04/2010 08:54:00 AM ----- BODY:
There is a piece in my puzzle that doesn't quite fit. Somewhere deep within my almost crunchy, granola, tandem nursing, babywearing, sewing, baking, and all things mothering persona lies a GAMER.

I love video games. If you can drive it, shoot it, smack it down, or blow it up, I'm all over it.

Karaoke, dancing, guitar, drums, whatever. I love that too. In fact, the only thing I'm not really a fan of are the games that have the first person vision - you know, when it's like you are looking over the gun? Not a fan.

Also, not really a fan of the Wii.

I know. Blaspha-freaking-mee. I can't help it. There are multiple problems with it. The first being that Mal Mal can whoop me at just about everything there is, and that completely goes against the grain of my competitive nature.

The second is that I'm a total klutz, and being able to do amazing things with my thumbs? That was a good thing for me. I LIKE the thumb controllers. This whole get-up-and-really-do-the-motion thing isn't really good for me and my lack of grace.

Of course, there is an exception, and that would be the Wii Fit. I kind of dig getting to see the little yellow circle on the yoga poses and feel myself getting better aligned. That's nice.

I digress.

For middle school graduation, we bought Mal Mal a copy of Beatles Rock Band for the xBox. I was thinking we already had the guitars, but I was wrong. The guitars I had were for the PS2, which is deader than dead. So, we headed to Game Stop yesterday to trade in all my old PS2 stuff and get some gear for the xBox.

Don't you love how I'm just now getting to the point of this story?

Here I am, mama and stepmama to my three beautiful children. I've got my littlest in a lovely ring sling, looking all peaceful and attached, and what am I doing? Why, I'm dumping out my bag of PS2 games - most of which are ridiculously inappropriate for a house with kiddos. The dude raised his eyebrow at me and almost sounded scolding when he told me that they didn't sell Grand Theft Auto San Andreas in their store. What can I say? I like to shoot things. In games. Just in games.

The funniest thing though was when he tried to convince me to wait and buy Rock Band 3 because, "It's just like learning to play real instruments." His pitch was that the guitars had REAL strings and the keyboard had something like 34 KEYS!


He had no way of knowing that my other oddly shaped puzzle piece is the part of me that performs and records. Sure, I like playing Rock Band, but I don't think I need the REAL fake guitars and the REAL tiny keyboard.

I just found it funny.

Okay, so there actually isn't a point to this story. I'm just trying to get back to the writing. And for the second straight night in a row, Colin has actually gone down by himself, leaving me to type freely.

Of course, I could be playing a game instead . . .

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Laura DATE:Sunday, July 4, 2010 at 9:13:00 AM EDT Marty, you are by no means the only Gamer Mom around. My preferences actually run to the first-person shooters, but I'm game to try most things. Scary thing is that we're raising a pair of gamers (though no FPSs, I promise). They're already connoisseurs of most of the Pop Cap games, Puzzle Quest (soon to have a new edition), and even the classics (Chuck found a copy of Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?)

But it is still funny to find someone who thinks games are only for treehouses marked "No girls allowed." ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous grandma sandy DATE:Sunday, July 4, 2010 at 10:30:00 AM EDT Thanks for making me laugh! That story was hilarious. It also reminded me of the time you came to Laurel for New Year's and played Dance, Dance, Revolution for so long that your ridiculously thick hair was soaking wet. AND you lost like 5 lbs! Bonus! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous @sweetbabboo DATE:Sunday, July 4, 2010 at 12:03:00 PM EDT At least it's all forward compatible. So you can still get your fake/real guitar on when RB3 comes out. And come on, this looks too cool - (a bit of salty language)

-Adrian ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous No Minimom DATE:Sunday, July 4, 2010 at 1:24:00 PM EDT I'm with you, game grrrl. I love first person shooters, too. I'm currently trying to play Borderlands (when I can). Love shooting those little laughing midget bandits. In the game! ;-) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Nita DATE:Monday, July 5, 2010 at 12:24:00 AM EDT I love a good FPS - nice way to destress. The husband though, only likes to play them with a keyboard and mouse so he can "feel what he's shooting" or some crap like that.

One thing Wii does have is oodles of games for the kiddos - Dora is insane easy and any toddler can handle Wii bowling. Maybe CC can WiiWii? ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Melissa (@adventuroo) DATE:Tuesday, July 6, 2010 at 1:29:00 PM EDT I just love knowing this about you now! I used to play LOTS AND LOTS of Street Fighter (SF3 I think) in college.

Big Roo has taken a liking to the Wii lately and I admit to loving the Wii-- I just never have time to play! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Issas Crazy World DATE:Wednesday, July 7, 2010 at 12:38:00 PM EDT I am glad to hear I'm not the only one not into the wii. I love wii bowling. but that's really about it. Give me an old Sega Dreamcast or a PS2 any day. Man I loved that dreamcast. Sigh. The good ole days. ;)

Mine? Is the iPad apps. Am addicted. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: The return of the purse DATE: 7/03/2010 01:29:00 PM ----- BODY:
Remember when my purse was stolen the week before Colin was born? And the lovely Holly Aiken offered to make me a new one like my favorite old one? And then the Fayetteville police found it in the bushes the next day? But I went to pick it up on Martin Luther King Day, and they said, "Nope. That part of the building is closed today"?

Well, I finally went back down there to pick it up. I just hadn't had the energy or time to pack up the boys and head down I-95 to get my beloved bag. However, a few weeks ago, Papa and I loaded up Christopher and Colin and went to Fayetteville. This time, I called ahead of our trip. I'm smart that way.

It was a good thing I did because they only return property on Tuesday and Friday. We had been planning to go on a Monday.

We rearranged our trip to Friday and headed that way. I called again when we hit the road, just to double check. Again, it was a good thing I did, because even though the woman in the property office, or whatever they call it, knew I was coming that day, she had decided to leave early. I reminded her that she had told me on Monday that she would see me Friday at 1:30 to pick up my purse, and she agreed to stay.

How nice.

Of course, she could have left a lot sooner if we hadn't had to stand in the lobby for 25 minutes waiting on someone to walk up to the window and ask us why we were there and if we needed help. Or, if she had answered her office phone. Not really my issue though.

When she finally came out with the box, she asked me for my ID in order to claim it. Snort.

"It's in my purse. In that box."

When she opened the box, I was woefully reminded that it had been raining the weekend my purse was stolen. The mold that had grown in the box was over powering and made my eyes start to water immediately. Most everything in the purse needed to be tossed, and I was afraid the purse would too, but it survived.

I put it in the washing machine on hot when we got home. I figured I was going to have to toss it anyway - if it couldn't be cleaned like that - so what the heck? It came out perfectly. Looked brand new. I swear - I love Holly's bags. They are so freaking amazing.

The bonus part of the trip, and certainly the most random? There was a Salvador Dali exhibit in Fayetteville while we were there. I talked Papa into stopping and seeing it. It was his illustrations of Alice in Wonderland. Who knew? In Fayetteville of all places. It's an army town, not an art town. But it was a nice exhibit.

So that's the conclusion to the stolen purse. As you can see, now that Colin has decided it's alright to sleep without my boob in his mouth and without being completely on my lap, I have two hands to type and can possibly catch up here a little bit. Yay.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous grandma sandy DATE:Saturday, July 3, 2010 at 2:28:00 PM EDT Dude, now I SO want a Holly Aiken bag! I feel myself becoming obsessed! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Cyndi DATE:Saturday, July 3, 2010 at 4:26:00 PM EDT Suddenly I must have one. Might need a field trip to Stitch. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Stimey DATE:Sunday, July 4, 2010 at 11:19:00 AM EDT That sounds like a tremendous amount of work to get the bag back. But it's super cute. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous No Minimom DATE:Sunday, July 4, 2010 at 1:21:00 PM EDT Squee! The bright spot in the theft of your purse was that you introduced me to Holly Aiken bags and now I OWN ONE!!!! It's so pretty. :-) ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Five months DATE: 6/29/2010 09:59:00 AM ----- BODY:
Look at you. Five months old already. I don't know how the time has passed so quickly. You've been sitting up for almost a month now. It amazes me.

You have this hearty, throaty belly laugh that when accompanied by that huge open mouth grin you like to flash makes my heart completely melt.

We still co-sleep, and if for some reason I leave you sleeping in your daddy's lap and go to bed without you, I miss you terribly. It's the one good thing about the house not being finished yet. There is no pressure for you to go to your own room because you still don't have one yet.

I'm sorry that you've been sick so much. This morning, you vomited twice after you woke up, simply from all of the mucous you swallowed during the night. I don't know why you and I are having such a hard time kicking stomach bugs and colds, because you are certainly a breastfed baby. But we are both having a hard time staying well. You are a really good sport about it though. Thank you for that.

You have already stopped looking like a little clone of your big brother. I thought for a few months there that I was going to have identical twins, two years apart. You've come into your own though, and I apologize profusely for the ears I have passed on to you. You will most likely get teased over them until your hair grows in to offset them a little bit.

Right. And you are still so very very bald. That just means I can nuzzle your head all the more.

I read all about how I would have room in my heart for both of my boys. It's not that I thought otherwise - I knew I would love all of my children - but I didn't realize how much all of that love would grow. My whole life has become submerged in the depth of love I have for my children.

So your brother, sweet Bird, made me who I am, but you, my little Squeak, you complete me.

You are my littlest love.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Susan @WhyMommy DATE:Sunday, July 4, 2010 at 10:15:00 PM EDT I love this:
"My whole life has become submerged in the depth of love I have for my children."

Yup. Mother love is powerful.

Glad to see you back.

S ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Shoe storage solution DATE: 6/24/2010 10:40:00 AM ----- BODY:
This is my wine rack. I have moved it to the foyer, behind the front door, and filled it with shoes. We constantly have piles of shoes by the door, and it annoys me greatly. Since at least 50% of the time, they happen to be my own shoes, I figured a organizational solution rather than trying to train everyone to move their shoes all the time was a smart thing.

But this isn't about my mad organizational skillz. It's about that wine rack. Which now holds shoes. And not wine.

I love wine. I love Sonoma Chardonnay and Lodi Zinfandel. I love Two Buck Chuck, and I love $50 Nicholson Ranch Rose. I love most all wine. Especially if it's bubbly. That $10 Barefoot Bubbly you can get at the Harris Teeter? Oh my . . .

Here's the deal, though. If you are taking anti-depressants, then alcohol - being a depressant - seems like a bad idea. It even says so on the label of my beloved Zoloft.

More than that though, since I jumped on the wagon, I like myself better. I feel more in control. I feel like a better wife and mama. I don't look forward to 5:00. Every. Single. Day. I don't wonder if Kevin saw me refill my glass when I went back in the kitchen to wash dishes.

I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing to drink everyday. It's just bad for me.

So I don't. At all. I know myself, and I know my limits. Besides, I can guarantee that I drank enough up to this point in my life to cover the next 40 years of it. And did plenty of stupid stuff while doing it.

And now I have a great place to store shoes by the front door. Bonus.


----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Magpie DATE:Friday, June 25, 2010 at 2:44:00 PM EDT Huh. But my wine rack is in the cellar, and that would be a lousy place to keep shoes. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Tuesday, June 29, 2010 at 8:21:00 AM EDT We gave our wine rack away, didn't fit in the house. Still have wine, but haven't been drinking it. Huh. Maybe I just need to get shoes instead.

Good for you!! ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: The era of play DATE: 6/22/2010 10:51:00 PM ----- BODY:
I had lunch with one of my oldest friends today. She is going to make an amazing mama one day. For now though, she is still taking notes. Literally. Which is funny, because some of the things she reminded me I said after Christopher was born are things I have totally thrown out the window now.

Like the soothing. I needed the five S's in that baby book so badly with Christopher. What I figured out this time around was that I needed them because I tried to have him on a nap schedule and bedtime schedule by the time he was 3 months old.


I can't even imagine doing that with Colin now, and he's almost 5 months.

It's not that I necessarily think I was wrong with Christopher. Okay, about the nap thing, I was - but it's just that I'm so much more laid back this time around. I know everyone says that, but I'm talking lovely prescription drug induced anxiety quelled laid back.

Yeah, Colin still sleeps with us. No, I don't think he's going to still be sleeping with us when he's 10. Or even when he's one. I fully expect him to transition to his own bed. At some point. I just don't particularly care when.

Granted, with Christopher, I went back to work. Part-time, but still work. I had to pass him off to the nanny every afternoon, and keeping a work schedule made me feel much more rigid about him having a schedule too. Plus, I'm naturally uptight. Just saying.


We've moved into a new era here at Chez Canape. It's the era of play.

Play, play, play, all day, day, day.

We are all about getting to the pool, hitting up Marbles, visiting with our friends, going to Music Together, playing at North Hills, and whatever else we can find to do.

My new goal is to have tired, tired boys at the end of the day. Of course, we've been a little derailed by some summertime colds and the discovery of Jack's Big Music Show on at 9:00 AM, but I fully expect to be back in the swing of things by Thursday when we are meeting some friends at Marbles.

When we play, we learn. When we play, we're happy. When we play, we are connecting with each other. When we play, we are celebrating childhood.

When we play, we aren't keeping a perfect house. We aren't having gourmet meals every night. We aren't blogging as much. We aren't sewing as much. We are neglecting the piano.

But everything in life is just a phase. The dust can be swept up tomorrow or even the next day. And I can get back to writing and sewing next month or next year. For this afternoon, we danced to Elizabeth Mitchell and then simply had scrambled eggs for dinner.

It was a good day.

Photo of Kara's kiddos joining Christopher in an impromptu jam session with Colin playing roadie in the back. Now THAT'S what I'm talking about. Rocking.


----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Nita DATE:Tuesday, June 22, 2010 at 11:40:00 PM EDT Can I move in to Chez Canape? :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Wednesday, June 23, 2010 at 9:03:00 AM EDT I love playing! You're so right though.. celebrate the children! Nice post. (I'm over here taking notes from you too!) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Andrea DATE:Wednesday, June 23, 2010 at 9:12:00 AM EDT I love Elizabeth Mitchell! And we are all about playing! We try to get out of the house most mornings and now that our pool is open, it's ON. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous grandma sandy DATE:Wednesday, June 23, 2010 at 5:01:00 PM EDT Play all day to wear them out is an excellent plan! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous toddlerplanet DATE:Wednesday, June 23, 2010 at 9:27:00 PM EDT This makes my heart sing! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Rachel Ratliff DATE:Thursday, June 24, 2010 at 11:53:00 PM EDT We love Elizabeth Mitchell! I can sing all of her songs by memory :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Armando Codina DATE:Thursday, July 15, 2010 at 4:46:00 AM EDT Wow, love your blog, thanx for the post, i must read your other post. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: World's best zucchini bread recipe DATE: 6/17/2010 04:38:00 PM ----- BODY:
As with all great baking, use the recipe as a guide and your intuition as the final decision. Me? I just fill up the food processor with as much zucchini and apple as it will hold and go from there. Sometimes I use nuts, sometimes not. Sometimes I use yogurt or applesauce instead of oil. Once you've made this a few times, you will figure out what works for your family.

The best part is that Christopher thinks it's cake and eats it right up. I'm going to have to be one of those moms who sneaks veggies in, but that's another post altogether.

From Kevin's dear Aunt Lorraine, I give you Zucchini and Apple bread that will rock your world.

Zucchini Apple Bread

4 C all purpose flour
1 T baking soda
1/4 t baking powder
1 1/2 t salt
1 1/2 T cinnamon
1/2 t ground nutmeg
5 eggs
2 C sugar
1 C brown sugar
1 1/2 C vegetable oil
1 T vanilla
2 C shredded zucchini (about 3 medium)
1 C shredded apple (about 1 medium)
1 1/2 C chopped pecans

Combine first six ingredients, put aside. combine eggs, sugars, oil, and vanilla in a large bowl. Beat at medium speed until well blended. Stir in dry mixture. Stir in zucchini-apple mixture and pecans, stirring just until moistened. Spoon batter into 3 greased & floured loaf pans Bake at 350 for 50-55 minutes or until a wooden pick comes out clean. Cool in pans 10 minutes, remove to wire rack, and cool completely.

You can also do muffins for about 30-35 minutes and mini loaf pans for about 45 minutes.


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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Sofi DATE:Thursday, June 17, 2010 at 8:11:00 PM EDT This sounds mouth-watering yummy. The real question is this: When in the world do you have time to bake from scratch? ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Sofi DATE:Thursday, June 17, 2010 at 8:11:00 PM EDT This sounds mouth-watering yummy. The real question is this: When in the world do you have time to bake from scratch? ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Mem DATE:Thursday, June 17, 2010 at 9:34:00 PM EDT ya know, i never did get to actually eat any of this today...damn it ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Convertible Girl DATE:Sunday, June 20, 2010 at 4:27:00 PM EDT Just made this -- my first attempt at zucchini bread. Junius has eaten one muffin and is already begging for more. You're awesome! ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: It's only fun if you play too DATE: 6/17/2010 09:03:00 AM ----- BODY:
What's a girl to do when she's looking to regain her blogging mojo? Why, answer a list of random questions of course. Stolen from one of my most favorite bloggers, Miss Zoot, who stole it from someone else before herself. That's the way it works, you know.

30 Questions:

1. It’s 2AM and you are not home. You are more than likely:
Wishing I was at home and in the bed.

2. What’s the last thing you spent more than $100 on?
Not counting trips to the grocery store, I'm pretty sure that would be clothes for the boys. I have a slight Gymboree problem.

3. What do your bank checks look like?
Standard issue style from the bank. (Same answer as Zoot)

4. Where did the shirt you are currently wearing come from?
Swag from the music store where my ex-husband worked. Guitar strings.

5. Name something that will be on your Christmas wish list:
There are a couple of Anna Podris' paintings I've had my eye on for awhile. If they haven't been sold, I'll probably ask for one of those. Or, a more modest request would be a new Holly Aiken bag - one with the birds. I love those.

6. What color is your toothbrush?

7. Name something you collect and tell us about it.
Local artists. I love to have original artwork in our home - especially that is created by North Carolina artists.

8. Last restaurant you ate at. Who were you with? How was it?
Torrero's with Kevin and the boys. It was fabulous. We hadn't eaten there in several months because of the whole no-dairy diet I've been on.

9. Who was the last person you bought a birthday card for?
My oldest nephew, Jacob. Unfortunately, it is still on my kitchen counter and his birthday was this past Monday. Even worse, my oldest niece's was in May, and I haven't sent hers either. I suck.

10. What is your worst bad habit?
Drinking waaaay too much diet coke. (Also Zoot's answer)

11. Name a magazine to which you subscribe?
Everyday Food

12. Your favorite pizza toppings?
Fake pepperoni, black olives, and mushrooms.

13. Whose number were you looking up the last time you used a phone book?
I think I was looking for a doctor in the Yellow Pages.

14. Other than family, who is the person that you love most?
That's a hard one, and kinda silly one. But I guess I could narrow it down to Susan.

15. What is the last thing you cooked?
Last night I made beer braised sausages and warm potato salad (from Everyday Food).

16. Name something you wouldn’t want to buy used?
Training potty

17. Which shoe do you put on first?
Maybe the left? That's the contact I put in first.

18. What is the last thing you remember losing?
Some LLL papers. But I found them this morning.

19. What is the ugliest piece of furniture in your house?
The cheap Target dresser in our room that I'm stuffing Colin's clothes in for now.

20. Last thing you bought and ended up returning?
Some pants for Colin.

21. What perfume/cologne do you wear? If none, why?
None right now because of the baby, but Kevin gave me some for Christmas a couple of years ago that I really like. I don't remember the name, but the bottle is plaid.

22. Your favorite board game?
I like Dominoes, but there's no board.

23. What was the last board game you played?
Card game, actually. BS with Mallory.

24. Where did your vehicle come from?
Smithfield. A Jeep dealer.

25. If a movie was made about your life what would the theme song be?
"Broken Things" by Julie Miller.

26. You’re sad, who can cheer you up easily?
It was always my granddaddy before he died. Now, it would be Kevin.

27. What was the color of the bridesmaid dresses of the last wedding you went to?
I have no idea. Black maybe?

28. What house cleaning chore do you hate to do the most?
Cleaning the blinds. So we didn't put them back up after the new windows went in. Ha.

29. What is your favorite way to eat chicken?
Fried, of course. With biscuits.

30. It is your birthday. You hope the cake is?
A mint chocolate chip log cake from Baskin Robbins. With lots of flowers and decorative icing. Yum.

Feel free to steal this too. Let me know if you do; I would love to read it.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous toddlerplanet DATE:Thursday, June 17, 2010 at 11:32:00 AM EDT Oooh, I'm tempted! Thanks for the shout-out -- you're mine too. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Andrea DATE:Sunday, June 20, 2010 at 9:36:00 PM EDT I feel like 70% of your answers could have been my own! Thanks for doing the hard work for me haha :-) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous LimboDad DATE:Thursday, June 24, 2010 at 9:14:00 PM EDT Done ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Marty, a.k.a. canape DATE:Friday, June 25, 2010 at 9:42:00 AM EDT Dang. LimboDad - I can't see your profile or reply back via email to your comment. I would love a link to your blog! ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Let's just move on to Thursday, shall we? DATE: 6/16/2010 09:56:00 PM ----- BODY:
Don't ask me why I said it. I don't know. It's a dumb thing to say if you don't really want to leave somewhere.

"Christopher, if you don't start listening to me and calm down, we are going home."

Well, damn if we didn't leave five minutes after me saying that. And I didn't want to leave. Colin and I were enjoying music class - except for the part where Christopher was acting like a little hellion.

It's been that kind of day. Upon leaving music class, we didn't actually go home, we went to the grocery store where I proceeded to do all of my shopping and go to check out only to find that I had no wallet.


Meanwhile, I'm getting news that my momma has either had a heart attack or a stroke, and they aren't sure which one if either, but she's driven herself home from the store so she can go to the ER. I swear this woman is still alive not because of modern medicine, but because she is just too damn stubborn for cancer.

For crying out loud. I hate this day.

P.S. Momma just finished a hamburger and is enjoying a lovely blood thinner drip now. Doesn't that just somehow seem wrong? Just ribbing you, Momma.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Melissa (@adventuroo) DATE:Wednesday, June 16, 2010 at 10:11:00 PM EDT oh sheesh I'm so sorry about your mom. Hope she's okay!

As for the kiddo, I'm always saying to myself: CRAP I wish I didn't make that threat! I do it all the time so I feel your pain! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Two Lines On a Stick DATE:Thursday, June 17, 2010 at 1:01:00 AM EDT Prayers for your mom! I miss chatting with you. I still can't reply to anything on the board :( ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Thursday, June 17, 2010 at 7:11:00 AM EDT I'm so sorry to hear about mom! I will be keeping her in my prayers.

You're kids don't act up!! You lie! You have the two most perfect boys ever! ;) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous toddlerplanet DATE:Thursday, June 17, 2010 at 11:31:00 AM EDT Any more news about Momma?

Praying and hoping for good news. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Patricia DATE:Thursday, June 17, 2010 at 5:44:00 PM EDT Marty, you & your family are in my thoughts. I, too, pray and hope for good news. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Raoul DATE: 6/14/2010 10:34:00 PM ----- BODY:
It's a good, good man who will don the plastic gloves, mix the noxious chemicals, and comb comb comb the dye through his wife's ridiculously thick hair.

It's an even better man who knows where the random chunk of thickness known to my hairdresser as the Bermuda Triangle of hair.

And it's the best man ever who lets me call him Raoul while he does all of this.

He's such a good sport.

Washed that gray right outta my hair.


----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous grandma sandy DATE:Tuesday, June 15, 2010 at 1:22:00 AM EDT I guess I've been a teacher too long because when I read "noxious fumes" and "comb comb comb" I had a mild panic attack that you had somehow acquired head lice! Let's face it, y'all have had more than your share of various plagues! I'm so glad Raoul was able to get rid of the gray. And as for those gorgeous, giant blue eyes??? Melt my heart..... Hugs to both those sweet boys. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Magpie DATE:Tuesday, June 15, 2010 at 10:10:00 AM EDT My first thought was head lice, too.

Would he come over and dye me a blue streak? ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Wednesday, June 16, 2010 at 10:46:00 AM EDT That is pretty cute. Funny, head lice didn't even cross my mind!! ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Communing, not competing DATE: 6/13/2010 02:48:00 PM ----- BODY:
That big pit of mommyblogging quicksand seems to have grabbed a hold of my ankles and doesn't want to let go. Competition. I've said so many times that I blog because I want to, not to make money, get free stuff, or to feel loved and important.

It's easy to say that. It's harder to keep it going.

My four year blogoversary came and went without me even batting an eye at it. My BlogHer Ads have been up for over three years. I've blogged for and left the SVMoms Group. Two BlogHer conferences under my belt and a ridiculous amount of swag later - I'm still just me.

I guess it's time for that personal pep talk again. The one where I remind myself that it's my choice to keep this a small time operation. It's my choice to not give my posts up for free to a group who made money off of them. It's my choice to keep my little BlogHer ads up just for the feeling of belonging to that community and not because I'm going to maximize my SEO anytime soon.

Still. I feel like maybe there should be yet another button. Yet another group of bloggers who band together and say, "This exists for my benefit. I choose to expand it or to not expand it. I work as hard as I want to on it, and my traffic and exposure reflect that work or lack thereof. I welcome the community, but I don't do it for the fame and fortune. I am not competing with you - I am communing with you."

As everyone gears up for BlogHer again this year, I get those twinges of longing. But what I'm really longing for is the desire to do more with my blogging. And it's just not there. I don't have the desire to use this space as anything other than what it is right now. I need to be alright with that. I am alright with that - I just need to keep reminding myself of that.

I am ready for a little change though. Some sprucing up. Maybe a new template. I would like to move off of Blogger and onto my own domain, which I have shamefully owned for over two years and done nothing with it. Again though, I just don't have the motivation to put the time into moving it. Plus, I know that I would likely lose most of the readers I have now if I broke this link. I don't know. It would be nice to have new digs.

So what about you? Are you happy with where your blogging life is? Do you wish you were doing more? Are you satisfied with the relationships it's brought you? Do you wish you could buy more than a latte a month with your ad revenue?

I'm curious.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous girl DATE:Sunday, June 13, 2010 at 3:06:00 PM EDT My blog has been a lesson in torture. It's attacked insanity and support. And now, it's something I almost feel ashamed of. I password protect anything important and the rest is just fluff.

I've too lost my mojo.

I can help with a template though :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Marty, a.k.a. canape DATE:Sunday, June 13, 2010 at 3:17:00 PM EDT And see? Your blog is one of a handful that I have read absolutely faithfully for almost five years now.

Our friendship would never have developed without blogging - and it's worth far more than anything else that could come from a blog. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous grandma sandy DATE:Sunday, June 13, 2010 at 7:38:00 PM EDT Since I just started and its all fresh and new to me I'm having lots of fun. But its been extremely time consuming which I'm sure is mostly a result of my ignorance more than anything else. You will laugh your head off when I tell you about the system I've developed for uploading photos. What can I say, I'm technologically challenged. And that's an understatement as we all know! Now that I have my own blog, I can actually remember my i.d. and password etc. to comment here!

The reason I finally decided to start a blog is because I found myself typing out status updates on fb that were entirely too long. I decided that if I really had that much I wanted to say it needed to be in a different forum. So on a whim, I started a blog with no idea what I would do with it.

I'm glad both girl and canape are back. I used to read girl's blog religiously before she took a break and now I try to hit it up at least once or twice a week. I love girl's sensitivity and her artistic talent.
Marty, your blog is always the first I check. I love your writing and admire your honesty and courage.

I hope I'll be able to keep my enthusiasm about blogging. I know it will get old at some point but for now its fun. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous WhyMommy DATE:Monday, June 14, 2010 at 4:27:00 AM EDT I blog for friendship.

But now that we all have so *many* blogs, and time is short, I find I have trouble keeping up with everyone. And that makes it harder to write more myself.

I'm going to BlogHer, yeah, but I'm considering going swag-free, or at least swag-lite, so that I'm happy with the experience as experience -- not worried about making nice with the vendors at all. There will be people for them to talk to, i keep reminding myself. It doesn't have to be me.

I wonder if that will change the way I feel about it.

Does that answer your question?

I think some angst is normal, as the medium ages and people take their blogs in different ways. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Stimey DATE:Monday, June 14, 2010 at 9:55:00 PM EDT Do you know that you can use your own domain name on Blogger? I just started doing that a couple months ago. It's great. You'll have to adjust your feed, but other than that, easy peasy. And other than the domain name, free.

I blog for community. I also blog very specifically to try to make the world a more autism-friendly place. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Lisa DATE:Tuesday, June 15, 2010 at 7:52:00 AM EDT I'm just now catching up on your blog. Love the glimpses into your daily life, good and bad. Keep on communing, sister! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Susie DATE:Tuesday, June 15, 2010 at 8:25:00 PM EDT Oh - can I still even call myself a blogger? I started it for the community which I still have without the posting. I also started as a way to express myself. This is what I am missing by not blogging. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Wednesday, June 16, 2010 at 10:50:00 AM EDT I have never blogged for money. I did a 'review' once for a product but that's it. I started my blog as a joke for a friend. It's now become a place where I can say what I need to say when I need to. I blog now to keep up with friends, both far and near, everyone I have 'met' is IRL to me. We're all people who have something to say.

I never would have met you. And no matter where you go, I'd like to keep following.

After all, we're all in this together. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Melissa (@adventuroo) DATE:Wednesday, June 16, 2010 at 10:19:00 PM EDT Oh I hear ya on this one! I've only been blogging 6 months and I'm a little obsessed. Not necessarily with making money but I just feel an obligation to keep it going strong with three posts a week. WITH A BABY in the house. I'm crazy I know.

But when I say obligation, that's not quite the right word. I blog because it's so freeing to write for myself after years of writing for a job. I don't like my professional job all that much so blogging is like that job I don't have... except it does pay the bills or provide health insurance!

I'm happy where my blog is at for the moment. I'm just not willing to beg and plead with people to subscribe to my blog feed or comment on my posts. If they want to, they want to. I can only put so much energy into it. Part of me wants to be BIGGER but like I'd rather have 100 dedicated readers than 1000 half-assed ones.

The most exciting part about blogging for me has been the relationships! From one little email asking if you needed writers from TM, it's opened my world to new friendships and comaraderie. So thanks for that-- I owe ya! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Andrea DATE:Sunday, June 20, 2010 at 9:58:00 PM EDT YES. I love this. I ebb and flow with this 'new to me' community too. I have been blogging for 7 years, but only since becoming a Mom did I even KNOW there were communities and conferences and fun! So I feel like a freshman. I definitely don't feel like anyone is being competitive with ME, but it's impossible to say I have never felt like I needed to measure up or do something different. The most recent example of this was my move to Wordpress. I heard SO many good things about it that I took the plunge. But I think I should have waited until I could hire some knowledgeable help. I had no idea WP was so technical. That alone has gotten me down more than anything else.

As for writing actual posts. That won't stop. It's my diary. A well cultivated habit. Some days are profound, some are just filler. But that is how my real life goes too so I am ok with it. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Drano DATE: 6/11/2010 03:09:00 PM ----- BODY:
I've lost it. I've lost my blogging mojo. There's too much Facebook. Too much just sitting and absorbing and not enough interacting. I'm thinking that regardless of the Zoloft, there is still an underlying problem. I'm thinking that the Zoloft helps me deal with day to day life and keep it together, but that there is still a sadness there that I'm not dealing with. And that it's drawing me inward.

Or, I'm just lazy and don't want to write lately.

Either way, I'm here now. And grumpy. Aren't you glad you stopped by? Seriously though. The construction on our house is still going on, and for whatever reason, people seem to suck.

If you underbid on a construction project, take four times longer than you quote, act like an asshole while I'm in LABOR, and then still don't finish the job? Most people won't pay you. Not my husband. He goes ahead and chalks it up as a loss and pays you what was promised because he feels sorry for you and also wants you gone. Then you bitch about how much time you spent on the job and how little money an hour that works out to, and you threaten to kill him and do some other ridiculously stupid things that we won't talk about here. Yet. Because we're not finished with them.

Seriously. The guy is four times slower and doesn't finish and we're supposed to pay him more? Right.

Then, today, D the drunken painter, who I have previously thought was awesome, proceeded to piss me off beyond belief. He asks for a third of his pay, which I happily provide him in the form of a check. Mind you, I had asked him yesterday if a check was still alright with him. He's worked for us twice before, and I've always written checks. So I give him a check and the bitching begins.

Our USAA account apparently is a problem for him. Translation, he doesn't have a bank account and needed to go to our bank (which doesn't have physical branch) in order to cash the check. I cannot tell you how much of my problem this is NOT.

Without the gory details, he was not pleased with the mere $300 the ATM would give me at one time and proceeded to bitch to me about us not having a local bank account. So I pointed out that he must not even have ANY bank account, and that pissed him off.

Seriously. I'm supposed to drive around town going to ATM's, collecting cash for Mr. Pisspants the drunken painter because he's not responsible enough to keep a checking account of his own?

What the hell is wrong with people? Are we not in a recession? Why is it we can't find decent, honest, sane, and hard working people to work for us when so many people are out of work?

Yeah. Maybe this is why my mojo seems to be gone. The whole house thing is not going well, and I haven't wanted to write about it in a public way. Because there is some seriously bad stuff that's gone down. Like changing locks and watching my rearview mirror bad. But you know what? I'm tired of hiding out and not talking. I'm tired of being scared. I'm sick of it all. I want my house done. I want my life back. I want my husband to quit having all of this work hanging over his head.


One thing I've learned from experience in blogging and having crazy people read it. How to get a restraining order. Kidding. No, actually, I'm not.

So I'll be back to talking about whatever the hell I want to talk about and fuck the crazies. They will do whatever they want to anyway, so I'm done tiptoeing around them.

And yes, I'm aware that not much of this made any sense, but it felt good, and I'm hoping that it's going to unclog whatever has been keeping me from writing.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Magpie DATE:Friday, June 11, 2010 at 5:00:00 PM EDT That would totally annoy me too. If he doesn't have a bank account, send him to a check cashing place. His problem, not yours. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous grandma sandy DATE:Friday, June 11, 2010 at 6:44:00 PM EDT I'm so glad you're back! But sorry there's been so much suckitude. On top of it all, becoming a mother to two when the oldest is only two is a huge adjustment.
I hope the house stuff gets worked out soon. We've only been living for a little over two months with our house turned upside down and it's about to put me over the edge. I don't know how you've managed it for so long.
I'm also glad you pissed off the drunk painter. He deserved it. ;-) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Amo DATE:Friday, June 11, 2010 at 9:16:00 PM EDT Sounds like you needed to do a little venting!! Good for you! I'm sorry you have had such a rough time. I would love to have the money to fix up our house. It is in desperate need of some fixing up! Maybe someday...You take care of yourself and try to practice some breathing techniques. Or meditation. Or just screaming! Whatever works for you and makes you feel better! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Mem DATE:Friday, June 11, 2010 at 9:39:00 PM EDT ok on monday i have two appts. on tuesday TUESDAY we are going to hang out- and you can be cranky or messy or whatever and i will be too. i'm sorry we couldn't play today- either way i love you! and it will get easier- this too shall pass. say the serenity prayer A LOT. big hugs and big punches in the face to the schlubs you are dealing with. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Susie DATE:Saturday, June 12, 2010 at 7:42:00 PM EDT You have every right to vent. If someone doesn't have a bank account, he probably doesn't have internet access either. But my point is, you must cut yourself some slack. Right now. You are a mother of two small children who also happens to be living in construction disarray. Never underestimate how much that can sap the energy and mood. And people do suck so when you have to deal with several suckers at one time - no amount of Zoloft will make them nicer and get the job done faster. And we need a playdate. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Wednesday, June 16, 2010 at 10:52:00 AM EDT Good dump! And you are so right - can't argue with crazy! ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: How it is DATE: 6/02/2010 09:42:00 PM ----- BODY:
I opened a post. And Squeak cries. It never fails.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous @sweetbabboo DATE:Wednesday, June 2, 2010 at 10:06:00 PM EDT Oh no. I know how that is. Do you need company? Do you need someone else to hold him for just a little bit?

I've been wondering where you were. Let me help.

-Abby ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous mommytofive11 DATE:Thursday, June 3, 2010 at 12:20:00 AM EDT Been missing you online! And real life too, of course. ;-)
Kiss those sweet boys for me. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Becki DATE:Monday, June 7, 2010 at 11:35:00 PM EDT Not for years, as you already know ;)
Now as soon as I try to sit at the computer Maggie asks for screwy YouTube videos... ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous clifford DATE:Monday, June 7, 2010 at 11:50:00 PM EDT Um, he wants a peanut butter chocolate chip granola bar. Duh. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous whymommy DATE:Wednesday, June 9, 2010 at 11:01:00 AM EDT Yup. Always.

Love to you.
S ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Kipper the comedian DATE: 5/18/2010 10:12:00 PM ----- BODY:
This. This is what makes Bird laugh out loud. Of course, his daddy also gets him laughing, but this is the first and only media that gets him laughing out loud. And he does. Belly laugh. Kipper drops his hippo down the stairs, and Bird hoots in between calling out, "See that, Mama? See that?" Today, he even fell on the floor laughing so hard while Kipper and Tiger tried to do laundry.

Me? I'm not so funny when I'm doing laundry. In fact, I'm not ever as funny as Kipper. I'm apparently the comfort and care part of this equation and am leaving the belly laughs to an admittedly, adorable British dog.


----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Kelly Jernigan DATE:Tuesday, May 18, 2010 at 11:03:00 PM EDT Marty, can I please tell you that Kipper is the ONLY thing that my child has seen that makes him roar with laughter. My husband & I were so caught off guard one night - prepping dinner in the kitchen & chatting when we heard these loads of giggles coming from the den...Kipper was roller skating with an umbrella! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Heather DATE:Wednesday, May 19, 2010 at 10:18:00 AM EDT We love Kipper!!! I think he's adorable and Tucker likes to call him Pipper. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous mommytofive11 DATE:Monday, May 24, 2010 at 11:18:00 AM EDT Every one of my kids has been obsessed with Kipper. In fact, the youngest is sitting next to me and started shrieking when your page loaded and she saw the Kipper picture!! ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Granola Bars DATE: 5/13/2010 09:02:00 PM ----- BODY:
I'm posting this in between licking my fingers clean of the yummy goodness. My friend Kara brought a batch of these after Squeak was born and gave me the recipe as well.

You will want to make them right away and often after that. They are so incredibly good.

1 cup brown sugar
2/3 cup peanut butter (I have used creamy and chunky-both work well.)
1 stick butter, softened
1/4 cup molasses
1/4 cup honey
2 teaspoons vanilla
3 cups uncooked oats
3/4 cup of chips (chocolate or butterscotch or you could use raisins)
3/4 cup shredded coconut
1/3 cup wheat germ
1/4 cup ground flax seed
Heat oven to 350. Beat brown sugar, butter, and peanut butter till fluffy. Add honey, molasses, and vanilla- stir well. Stir in oats, chips, coconut, raisins, and wheat germ. Press into bottom of a 9x13 baking pan. Bake fifteen minutes. Put in the freezer to chill for 45 minutes or until firm. I then cut them into bars and store them in large Ziploc in the freezer.
Nothing to it, but oh so amazingly good. And from stuff I mostly have in my kitchen already.

You're welcome.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Patricia DATE:Thursday, May 13, 2010 at 9:34:00 PM EDT Marty, thank you ever so much -- that sounds more than lovely. I've always loved the peanut butter-chocolate combination. Let's see if I can coax Fran into trying them. Make that let's hope so. :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Mem DATE:Saturday, May 15, 2010 at 12:24:00 PM EDT thanks for the shout out- these are the best best bars in the world... and fairly healthy. i must give props to christina though as she brought them to me just after having henry... what a great new baby gift! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Melissa (@adventuroo) DATE:Saturday, May 15, 2010 at 9:31:00 PM EDT I don't think I've ever been quicker to try out a recipe after reading it!! We bought the extra things we needed today and made this... WOW. They ROCK. I seriously can't some eating them. I don't think I'll ever buy a granola bar again!

Thanks for sharing! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Rachel Ratliff DATE:Monday, May 31, 2010 at 6:33:00 PM EDT Sounds delicious! I will have to make that sometime soon! I just found a delicious granola recipe that is in the oven right now:

4 cups Old Fashioned Oats
2 cups Sweetened Shredded Coconut
3/4 cups Vegetable Oil
2 cups Sliced Almonds
1/2 cup Honey
Dried Fruit of Your Liking (I use raisins)

Mix everything in a bowl, and pour the mixture into a baking dish. Bake on 350 for 45 minutes. Stir occasionally so all the granola will brown. Eat by itself or with yogurt or milk. Delicious! ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: In which I bare my penchant for long analogies DATE: 5/11/2010 11:36:00 PM ----- BODY:
I think about birth daily. Even though I am personally done giving birth, I can't put it out of my mind.

I want to tell Squeak's birth story over and over again. He was born in the water. I find myself grinning as I almost whisper this to people. I can't help myself. It was truly the most amazing experience in my life, and I want to share it.

I want to share it without guilt. I don't want to feel guilty for being so thrilled with it, and I don't want other mamas to feel guilty if they didn't have the same experience. Guilt is based in shame and judgment, and is no way for mamas to better themselves and support each other.

Here's what I think.

From my house to my momma's house, the best and most direct route is I-40. Plain and simple. Get on I-40, drive for an eternity, and end up at Momma's house. It's the best way to get there, but the last time we went, there was a rock slide on the NC/TN state line on I-40.

We had to go around. We had to divert from the best route in order to get where we were going.

We still got to Momma's house. We were more tired, used more gas, and it took more time, but we got there. We were grateful that there were other routes to Momma's house so that we could still get there safely even though there was a rock slide.

Do you see where I'm going with this?

What if someone had just given us wrong directions? What if there was a gas station or a restaurant on the route around I-40 that printed maps without I-40 on it? Just to get us to drive by their business and become customers? What if the only directions we were given never even mentioned that we could just stay on I-40 unless there was a rock slide?

Isn't that entirely different?

If you don't need to go around the rock slide, then someone should be giving you directions that go from point A to point B without all the side roads. And by side roads, I mean interventions, in case you haven't jumped on board my analogy yet.

All of us mamas are just following our maps. We are doing the best we can for ourselves and our children with the information we are given.

The more we share our birth stories, and share them proudly - ALL of them, not just the ones who stayed on I-40 - the more we empower the mamas-to-be.

I am proud of all the mamas I know, and I want to hear every one of their stories. The ones who gave birth via c-section. The ones who gave birth via induction. The ones who gave birth at home. The ones who became mamas via adoption.

It's about becoming a mama. That's all. Yes, I do believe that the more we can help mamas-to-be stay on the interstate regardless of what their maps say, the better. But I absolutely do not believe that we should judge each other for the different paths we all took in getting to be a mama.

Let's let go of the guilt and start sharing our stories. Let's let each other feel proud of bringing our children into the world, and at the same time, let's help all the mamas-to-be find the best route for birth.

/soapbox (for today)

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous toddlerplanet DATE:Wednesday, May 12, 2010 at 11:03:00 AM EDT This is BEAUTIFUL. And true. I'm just as proud of Little Bear's inducted, medicated, easy birth as I am of Widget's 30 hour labor (24 hours unmedicated) where everything started to go wrong and we had to use nearly every trick in the book to get him out ok. Both resulted in healthy, happy babies, and both will only have one birth story. Theirs. I'm proud of it.

But I can definitely see how you giggle about the water birth -- that is so incredibly awesome, and I'm so glad you had the experience you wanted! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Convertible Girl DATE:Wednesday, May 12, 2010 at 2:26:00 PM EDT Thank you -- gave me goosebumps. I have so much angst about this because my birth stories didn't turn out at all like I expected. Hopefully I'll learn to let go of it one day -- and thankfully I have two really funny reminders of how it all turned out just fine. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Melissa (@adventuroo) DATE:Wednesday, May 12, 2010 at 8:51:00 PM EDT This analogy really is PERFECT. I'm one of those who had a C-section, neither time by choice. My births weren't perfect, but I'm content with them. The petty conversations I've seen out there that proclaim I didn't GIVE BIRTH since they didn't come out of my hoo-hoo-dilly royally piss me off.

My road was different than yours and than hers and hers and hers. And none of us should feel guilty. Thanks for the analogy-- I'll be sure to use it at some point! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous @sweetbabboo DATE:Thursday, May 13, 2010 at 12:29:00 PM EDT I like this post. As you know, L's birth was anything but natural. However, he's here, he's healthy, and we love him. If not for medical intervention, that would likely have not been so.

Your birth story is indeed a beautiful one and one to be proud of.

-Abby ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Friday, May 14, 2010 at 12:39:00 PM EDT THANK YOU! Things like this have been racing through my brain for weeks now, and you're right, every mother should be proud of how their child was born, no matter what.

Great post. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Susie DATE:Saturday, June 12, 2010 at 7:48:00 PM EDT I love stories of how babies end up in our arms - no matter the route. I love to hear about the natural and peaceful ones, the speedy (in the back-seat of the car ones), the everything-was-going-well-until-WTF? ones, the adoption ones, all of them. Each one is worthy of celebration. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Happy Mother's Day, Kevin DATE: 5/09/2010 09:06:00 PM ----- BODY:

I didn't think I would get to be a mother.

In my first marriage there were plans of adoption, disappointment, plans of insemination, and more disappointment. Then, there was an end to that marriage. That's the extremely short and shallow version.

Kevin is my proof of grace in this life. The reason that anyone gets to wish me, "Happy Mother's Day."

On a day where we honor our moms, I find myself wanting to shower my husband with adoration. He saw me for who I am, where I was, and loves me still even with all of my flaws. He trusted me to have his sons and provides for us so that I can stay home with them. He sees us as partners in parenting, making it only my "job" for the time that he is at his "job."

So thanks, Kevin. Thanks for knocking me up a few times. Thanks for being my support in pregnancy, birth, labor, and postpartum. Thanks for being the daddy-half. Thanks for loving me and loving your children like you do.

Happy Mother's Day to us.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous @sweetbabboo DATE:Sunday, May 9, 2010 at 9:37:00 PM EDT Ah, that's so sweet. He's got a good eye and he's definitely a keeper.

-Abby ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous No Minimom DATE:Sunday, May 9, 2010 at 9:45:00 PM EDT What an awesome post! Yay for our Kevins! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous toddlerplanet DATE:Sunday, May 9, 2010 at 10:38:00 PM EDT (wipes tears from eye)

You said it. Thank you, Kevin. And Happy Mother's Day to you both. You rock at being parents. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Marketing Mama DATE:Monday, May 10, 2010 at 11:36:00 AM EDT What a wonderful post! Hurray for Kevin. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Melissa (@adventuroo) DATE:Monday, May 10, 2010 at 2:30:00 PM EDT So sweet, Marty! Having a great spouse makes us better parents... no doubt about it.

Happy Mother's Day! ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Mama is pretty DATE: 5/05/2010 08:00:00 AM ----- BODY:
Bird's vocabulary has really taken off this spring. I think that his friend Carter inspired him when he visited. The things Bird comes up with now are great. He keeps me laughing most of the day - except when he's telling me to "go away." Or "sit down." That part isn't so cute.

Tonight, he was sitting on his sister's lap while she did her Algebra homework. Squeak was sitting in the Bumbo (on the table - OH MY!) and I was sitting next to him making silly faces. Bird smiled sweetly and said, "Awww, baby. SO cute." He often announces that Squeak is "SO cute." It melts my heart.

Mal asked him if he was cute too. He said no. She asked him if Daddy was cute. No. She asked him if Mama was cute. No.

But wait -

He said, "No. Mama's pretty."

Oh, help. My heart. My poor heart. It is no longer mine in any way shape or form.

Now, if I can just get him to stop saying "shit" whenever he drops something.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Amy DATE:Wednesday, May 5, 2010 at 9:59:00 AM EDT OMG, I can't stop laughing! He's a little sweetheart.

When I tell Carter he's smart, he says, "And handsome." Kids are so freaking funny. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Renee DATE:Wednesday, May 5, 2010 at 10:16:00 AM EDT Awwww! I can't wait for VOCABULARY!!! I have got to move beyond "the light" and "get" sometime SOON!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Convertible Girl DATE:Saturday, May 8, 2010 at 1:56:00 PM EDT He's a smart little boy :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Susie DATE:Saturday, June 12, 2010 at 7:52:00 PM EDT Get used to the swearing - its here to stay. Your heart though? Gone for good. :) ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Pampers Dry Max and other evils on the shelf DATE: 5/04/2010 11:39:00 AM ----- BODY:
Bird is at school and Squeak is sleeping in his bouncy seat. He slept on my chest for 90 minutes, but then want to move, so he's vibrating and snoozing, and I have two free hands. Two free hands which should be cleaning something, writing thank you notes, doing laundry, or organizing the boys' clothes for storage - but I'm actually trying to put writing back into my list of priorities, so here I sit.

I have a copy of Healthy Child, Healthy World that I have been putting off reading because I'm scared of all the things I could be doing better for my children. That's so lame. After this week of recalls and dangerous products, I'm thinking it's time to dive into it.

Squeak had almost finished his trial size bottle of Infant's Tylenol that has been recalled. It could have tiny particles - of what, they didn't say - in it or it could contain too much of the active ingredient. Either way, it's not good for him.

Bird had on a Pamper with their new "Dry Max technology" the other day. When I went to change it, he started grabbing the inside of his thigh and telling me that it hurt. I lay him on the changing table, and he began to scream before I could even get his shorts off of him. The blisters on his legs and bottom were unbelievable. I immediately began trying to calculate when the last time I changed him was and starting cursing myself for letting him have a wet and dirty diaper - even though I hadn't done anything different that day than from any other day. I changed him right when I noticed, and it wasn't that long from the last change.

I was mortified and cried right along with him. I stopped trying to clean him up at the changing table and put him straight into the tub. I wanted to make sure he was 100% clean, and rubbing the blisters wasn't an option.

After I put him to bed that night, I noticed a buzz online about Pampers and their new Dry Max diapers. A friend from my LLL group had posted a news story, and after watching it, I started searching for more information. What I found was unbelievable.

Thousands of reports of chemical burns and unusually bad blistering and rashes have been reported with these diapers. I couldn't believe it. The pictures I saw of those poor babies look just like Bird. The bigger than a quarter raised blisters - they were on all of these babies.

No more Pampers for us. I don't care how much that box cost me. I'm not using another Pamper ever again.

So begins my foray into cloth diapering. I tried it with the gCloth inserts for our gDiapers and hated them. They were terrible. But I've got some friends who are willing to give me lessons in all of the other ways to cloth diaper, so we are getting ready to make the switch. And for the times we need a disposable one, I'll be using a Huggies natural or a Seventh Generation diaper.

I feel so strongly right now, that as a mama and a consumer, I have got to start making better choices for my family. Choices based on their well being instead of cost and convenience. I did that for Squeak's birth, and now I need to continue that throughout their lives. I owe it to them to keep them safe and healthy.

It's frustrating to not be able to trust as a consumer.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Stimey DATE:Tuesday, May 4, 2010 at 1:24:00 PM EDT Oh, that's so horrible. Your poor guy. It's kind of shocking that those Pampers are still on the shelf. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Renee DATE:Tuesday, May 4, 2010 at 1:42:00 PM EDT We have had issues with both the tylenol recall and the dry max pampers as well. Little Max kept getting blister after blister with them, and he wasn't going too long between changings, either. I was chalking it up to "acid poo" from having been on antibiotics until I saw the Pampers warning. I am FURIOUS. This sort of thing should NOT be happening in this so-called "developed" country... it just feeds my continuing anti-capitalistic rant. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Magpie DATE:Tuesday, May 4, 2010 at 1:44:00 PM EDT That totally sucks. Poor kid. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous workout mommy DATE:Tuesday, May 4, 2010 at 2:53:00 PM EDT ugh, this is awful! poor little guy! Is this just the new version? I've always used pampers and never had problems---but I don't use the cruisers, which I think are the new ones?

i agree--the inability to trust these brands it just awful! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous themsrevolution DATE:Tuesday, May 4, 2010 at 3:48:00 PM EDT being a smart consumer is even more difficult than usual when you have small children to care for, and often on very little sleep! it sounds like you are being a smart mama, despite these factors. thanks for the heads up about the diapers. i had not heard that but my little bird has had some blistering. so frustrating! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Two Lines On a Stick DATE:Tuesday, May 4, 2010 at 3:56:00 PM EDT Yikes! That is awful about the Pampers. We use Huggies on Taylor (Target brand on Bailey) but I love the HUggies Naturals. They are sooo soft and they fit really well. I have done cloth diapering on and off. I go through phases where I love it and phases where I don't want to bother. I haven't wanted to bother since Taylor was born but I might get them out again one day. Try Bum Genius :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous @sweetbabboo DATE:Tuesday, May 4, 2010 at 8:11:00 PM EDT I was shocked when I heard the Pampers thing. As a cloth diaper mama, I'd always heard the chemicals are bad line but didn't really give it much thought. I can't believe he had blisters!!! I'd be pissed.

Anyway, I'm reading Healthy Child, Healthy World as well. We can chat about it. I just have to keep telling myself that I can't improve everything all at once, but I can do the little things like air out the house and get some houseplants along with the other things I'm already doing.

Can't wait to share our diapering experience with you. Have you read my post about it already? I don't want to repeat what you already know.


(Is it bad form to a post on my blog in comments? I don't know this stuff. If so, sorry.) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Anavar DATE:Wednesday, May 5, 2010 at 5:49:00 AM EDT First, you couldn't know Pampers are bad. After all, they have so nice commercials! I can't believe one has the heart to still produce them! Nowdays it's so hard to trust the merchants. And it's even harder to find quality products! Poor little kid... I hope he'll never had to go through this again. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Lonely doesn't mean alone DATE: 4/30/2010 09:42:00 PM ----- BODY:
I forget that I should never whine about loneliness or a lack of friends. Even though I might feel that weight bearing down on me from time to time, to voice those feelings (and indeed, they are just feelings and not necessarily reality) only plays injustice to those who are here for me.

In whining about how much I miss my friends who live here in this box with me, I also ignore the fact that this box keeps me in closer contact with people who have been in my life practically forever. Including, but not limited to Susan and even my momma. Sure, I give my momma a hard time when I find out life changing information on her Facebook page, but really, I'm quite glad that she has a presence on the internet. It gives us a chance to be in each other's daily lives.

There are new friends for new developments in life. That happened after my divorce, after I remarried, and certainly after I became a mama. I have friends here in town from my La Leche League group who I would shave my eyebrows for or even consider giving up Diet Coke for. Well, at least the eyebrows part.

I guess I just have a hard time with the change in climate of friendships. It's not surprising. I have a hard time with change in general. Especially change that is incremental. Rather than riding out whatever storm or hard times there are with people, I tend to just detonate the relationship and walk away from the wreckage.

Now. Aren't you glad you're getting to know me? Doesn't that sound lovely?

All this to say - lonely doesn't mean alone. There are some wonderful people in my life. Lonely means that I isolated myself for a time and needed a kick in the pants to get back up again. I'm getting back up again. Next week.

So expect a phone call or a text or Facebook message. There are too many people who are here in the flesh or wherever they are in the flesh for me to sit around being lonely.

I know these things. Sometimes I just need a good whine.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Lisa DATE:Friday, April 30, 2010 at 10:00:00 PM EDT I love you! Loneliness stinks. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous whymommy DATE:Saturday, May 1, 2010 at 9:53:00 PM EDT I miss you. Here, and in person.

Hang in there, babe. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous texasholly DATE:Sunday, May 2, 2010 at 8:05:00 PM EDT I think a little loneliness here and there helps us appreciate our friends more. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Lonely real life DATE: 4/28/2010 02:29:00 PM ----- BODY:
I didn't expect to make friends on the internet. Certainly not ones that I would travel to visit or that would take a weekend to come see me. I didn't expect to make friends that I would miss or that I would long to live closer to so that we could hang together in the flesh.

But I have.

Lately, and maybe it's the hormones to some extent, a lot of my in the flesh people have been letting me down. Granted, I've been told I hold people to unfair high expectations, but I can honestly say that the Zoloft has been helping that. Still, I just can't count on some of the friends I once could count on and that hurts.

But, in my new found quest not to be crazy these past months, I've found a way to still love my friends for who they are and not necessarily what they are to me at the current moment. It's hard, but I think it will be good in the long run.

Today though, I'm missing people that I only get to interact with online. All my mamas on the board especially - I wish that we could have a playdate, get some coffee, go shopping, or just take a walk. Liz L., who I wish I could learn to be a doula with - I think we would make a great team. Patricia, who I recently reconnected with on Facebook and just got to see for a moment in April. All these people make my life richer, and a little lonely at times too, because they are far away.

It's just one of those lonely days. Especially when compared with Monday. Pardon my pity party. It will be over soon, I promise. How can it not be when this is what I get to see everyday:

Happy babies make great SSRI's.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Daily Verses DATE:Wednesday, April 28, 2010 at 2:57:00 PM EDT Oh, how I can relate. I really wish we lived closer. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Amy DATE:Wednesday, April 28, 2010 at 3:30:00 PM EDT I wish all the time that we could hang out in person. I think if we lived closer to each other, we'd be joined at the hip.

I'm sorry you're being disappointed over and over again. It's not fair. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Becky DATE:Wednesday, April 28, 2010 at 4:02:00 PM EDT I get it, I totally get it!! I'd love more than anything for me and my kiddos to come hang out with you and your crew. Maybe someday, maybe someday!!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Patricia DATE:Wednesday, April 28, 2010 at 5:37:00 PM EDT Oh Marty! You are so kind to say such a thing -- I've missed you so very much. And I was afraid I was one of those who had let you down. I could almost see the thread spinning out and snapping apart across the reception hall. I very much wish you and I had had longer to talk. I said that to Fran, who told me -- in her wise way -- that it was my father's day.

I understand, so much, about being lonely. I do. I am wistful by nature anyway, and the Internet makes it hard sometimes to feel anchored to the world. But you are a fine writer, and I find myself connected to you, even at a remove, because what you write is exact, is in the moment. I want to write like you do when I grow up.

There. Your novel for the day. Or something. Oh -- and the character-verification word required for this posting had "sing" in it. More than appropriate!

Thank you again, many times. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Convertible Girl DATE:Wednesday, April 28, 2010 at 8:05:00 PM EDT So glad you're coming over tomorrow (and Friday) -- thanks for calling! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Mem DATE:Wednesday, April 28, 2010 at 8:47:00 PM EDT im here, in the flesh....if you are interested ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous @sweetbabboo DATE:Wednesday, April 28, 2010 at 10:09:00 PM EDT Oh I know. I really worry about the state of my sanity when I have sent all my kids off to school. Who knows how many years the majority of my conversations, daily interactions, and general socializing will revolve around someone under 4 feet tall?!?

It's gotten so bad, I can't even keep up during the few times I do get to interact with grown-ups. I tend to feel myself being pulled toward the company of the kids in the room.

We should definitely hang-out more... Then at least more days could be like Monday!

-Abby ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous gail DATE:Sunday, May 2, 2010 at 8:07:00 AM EDT I completely disconnected from the internet and most of it's relationships, I hope you've not felt the crunch of that. I just can't "do it" anymore and I think you know what I mean.

But I also understand how you feel. Hugs. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Today DATE: 4/26/2010 08:03:00 PM ----- BODY:
I've been on maternity leave. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

It's hard to get back in the habit of writing when you slump off like I have. I still have blog brain. You know, when you walk through the grocery store checking items off your list while simultaneously thinking about which of the carts you are passing would make for good blog fodder. I still have blog brain.

There are too many things going on right now that I just can't blog about yet. When something is holding me back a little, I have a hard time saying anything at all. But I'm going to try. I'm missing out on chronicling some of the best times of my life - watching my boys grow up.

Today, I had changed both of the boys' diapers. I had stepped out of the room to wash my hands when Bird tripped over a bag of dry cleaning. He wasn't hurt, but he was whining for me to come help him. He was still whining when one of Squeak's shoes came off.

Bird got up by himself, picked up the shoe, and declared, "Oh no! Colin's shoe!" He brought me the shoe, insured that I put it back on his little brother properly, and then he went back to the bag of dry cleaning. He repositioned himself over it, as if he had fallen again, and started back in with, "Mama, help! Help, Mama!"


Today, I took the boys to a Durham Bulls game with Abby and Linus. We had great seats (once Abby convinced me to move into the shade), and Linus was kind enough to share his Matchbox cars.

There was arguments over Wool E. Bull being a cow. There was popcorn. There was hand holding and running through the grass. Squeak fell asleep by the fifth inning. The Bulls lost, and I think they need some new pitching, but we still had a great time.

Today, I took the boys on a walk with my friend and doula, Julie. Her boys, my boys, a couple of strollers, and a bicycle defied the rain back into the sky and took our walk with just a few sprinkles. The Greenway in Raleigh is one of my favorite places to be, and walking it with a friend is the best way to be there.

So you see, we are busy. There are stories to tell. I want to get back here telling them. Maternity leave is officially over.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous No Minimom DATE:Monday, April 26, 2010 at 8:56:00 PM EDT I for one would never be critical of a blogger who failed to blog for an extended amount of time. Pot meet kettle. Glad you and your adorable boys are having such fun together! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Amie aka MammaLoves DATE:Monday, April 26, 2010 at 9:20:00 PM EDT It's hard to come back from maternity leave.

And can we sign bird up for acting lessons now?? ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous clifford DATE:Thursday, April 29, 2010 at 10:09:00 AM EDT Baseball & Matchbox cars. Some say that is what Heaven is like. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: My love DATE: 4/18/2010 09:54:00 PM ----- BODY:
Your eyes are navy blue. They captivate me.

Your ears poke out like my father's. Currently, you also share a hairstyle with him. I think you will grow out of that.

Your mouth has learned to smile and laugh naturally. You started laughing at your daddy yesterday and couldn't stop. You laughed until you gave yourself the hiccups.

That is one thing that I love about this house. More often than not, it is full of laughter. Granted, that means that your daddy and I are terribly silly people, but I think it might be a fun way to grow up.

Tonight, you took a bath with your brother. At first he was scolding you for kicking and splashing, but when you just smiled at his reprimand, he gave up and started washing your feet. He can be surprisingly sweet to you. Whenever someone asks him about his little brother, his standard reply is, "Colin. So cute."

You still sleep with us. Partly because there isn't anywhere else for you to sleep yet, and partly because you are so snuggly. You spoon perfectly, wake up to nurse a couple of times, and go right back to sleep. Usually. Occasionally, you want to stay awake and smile at me. If I have to stay awake in the middle of the night or wee hours of the morning, I have to say, I don't mind staring at your beautiful smile.

There is only one small complaint I have, and that is your hatred of the stroller. I love your stroller. You have a little hide-away compartment, and your brother sits in the jump seat above you. And. You. Hate. It. Unless you are asleep, you scream. Even when you are asleep, you usually wake up and then scream. Our long walks designed to help me burn this baby fat before you enter the first grade? Are torture for both of us. I would wear you, but you seem to hate that too. You just want to ride up on my shoulder and be able to look around at the world, cheek to cheek with me. It's a lovely feeling, cheek to cheek, but dang. You are heavy. I tell myself that I'm just working my arm muscles. Walking, pushing the stroller, and carrying you. Ridiculous.

You have such a sweet nature. Easy going. You like to be at home and nurse on your Boppy. As much as I don't mind nursing you anywhere, anytime, and here you are, just wanting your comfortable football hold where you and I can just gaze at each other. I have to admit, I like it too.

Today, you and your brother nursed together. We don't do that often, but today, you each latched on, and you stared at him. You hadn't ever noticed him before - even when he would stroke your head while you nursed together. But today, you and he locked eyes and I felt the urge to stop tandem nursing fall away again.

You are a big boy, you know. Not even three months old and you are already wearing 6 month and up clothes. I spent yesterday packing away two full boxes of clothes that you have already outgrown. I'm not sure what I will do with them yet.

I know that I will miss these tiny baby days. I feel them slipping away. But I have to say, I'm really looking forward to the things we will get to do when you can crawl and walk and run and talk and play and all of the amazing learning you have already started to do.

I'm going to try and write more. There is so much to say about you and your brother. I'm just not willing to do it at the expense of staring into those captivating navy blue eyes. You are my love.


----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous No Minimom DATE:Monday, April 19, 2010 at 9:13:00 AM EDT I love that you are so in love! :-) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Beth DATE:Sunday, April 25, 2010 at 2:37:00 AM EDT you are truly blessed, as are they to have you as their mommy :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Becki DATE:Monday, April 26, 2010 at 10:25:00 AM EDT Awesome. And you write it so beautifully :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Anonymous DATE:Monday, May 3, 2010 at 5:06:00 PM EDT That is so beautiful, I think I'm going to run out and knock myself up. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Another battle in the war DATE: 4/01/2010 10:29:00 PM ----- BODY:
I hate cancer.

That's a really stupid thing to say. It implies that maybe someone out there doesn't hate it.

Momma's numbers are down and her scans show improvement. Not enough to get a break from chemo, but improvement nonetheless.

My friend Susan, however, did not have clean scans and is facing another battle.

The thing that makes me so angry is not the cancer itself. It's the freaking inconvenience. Susan has things to do. Great things because she is a freaking genius. Great things because she is an awesome mom. Great things that the world will have to wait on because of cancer.

We're brushing off our Team Whymommy badges. We're remembering when the wall of support started. We're lifting prayers and positive energy.

Keep fighting, SuSu. It's worth it. You make the world a better place.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Imstell DATE:Friday, April 2, 2010 at 12:17:00 AM EDT I think I need a new badge since I moved my blog... :-( ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Ilina DATE:Friday, April 2, 2010 at 8:59:00 PM EDT Want to join Team Dirt & Noise in the Race for the Cure? I'm adding Susan to our list, along with my friends Jenn and Jennifer who are mothers battling breast cancer too. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Becki DATE:Friday, April 2, 2010 at 10:34:00 PM EDT So sorry to hear Susan is fighting the fight again :( ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous winecat DATE:Tuesday, April 6, 2010 at 7:42:00 AM EDT Breast cancer sucks the big one. I've almost made it 4 years after being diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer. Fortunately mine was found very, very early (tumor less than 1/4 inch).

I'm almost, yes almost 4 years out - May 6. I'm not a mom but who cares in this ugly battle?

My best wishes to you. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous whymommy DATE:Tuesday, April 6, 2010 at 10:57:00 AM EDT Thanks. Just ... thanks. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: In which we take the mall by storm DATE: 3/25/2010 03:08:00 PM ----- BODY:
I don't frequent the mall. Most of my shopping is done online for now. Of course, most of my shopping is for two small boys. My clothes, at least the ones that aren't maternity clothes, are all three years old if not much older.

Yesterday, I had a shirt from Gymboree that I needed to return because the sleeve fell apart the first time I washed it. I figured it would be easier to just pop by and swap it out at the store rather than mailing it and all. I also wanted to get Bird some Crocs for the summer, so I had two reasons to go. I always have to have at least two reasons to go to the mall.

I dropped Bird off at preschool. Squeak and I headed to Crabtree. On the way there, I realized that we didn't have any money in the account. Kevin was in a meeting and couldn't make the transfer. I didn't want to go home because I was almost there and dang it - I had worked out my day so carefully. So I called Momma and walked her through (she has the patience of a saint, I tell you) transferring money online for me. Crisis averted. Ha.

Squeak and I returned the shirt and wandered over to the Crocs store. Did you know there was a whole store of Crocs? Do we really need that many different kinds of Crocs? And are there really enough adults still wearing them to warrant an entire store? Apparently so. Who knew?

Anyway, I found some navy blue Crocs for Bird and went to check out only to find that I had no debit card. No way to pay. I wasn't sure what I was more upset about - losing my debit card or having my shopping day ruined.

By the time I got home, I remembered that Kevin had taken my debit card to use at the ATM. It wasn't lost, so I was free to just be annoyed that my shopping trip was ruined.

All of this to SAY, we went back to the mall last evening as a family. We left the mall with more questions than purchases.
  1. When did the mall become the place for strippers to shop?
  2. Okay, so that was harsh. How about this: When did the mall become the place for 14 year old girls who want to look like strippers to shop?
  3. How come I can't find anything between Ann Taylor and Target that I might possibly want to wear?
  4. Why does our Food Court have two Greek restaurants, but yet there doesn't seem to be one decent one outside the mall?
  5. When did stores stop taking checks? Like at all?
  6. Is it ever possible to get past the hair straightening kiosk without one of those women chasing you down with a blazing hot iron? As in, I'm wearing my infant child, so no, I don't want you to sample your burn maker on me.
  7. When did everything get so expensive?
  8. When did I get so old?
By the time we were done eating dinner and shopping, we had come to some clear realities about ourselves. We are old. We are cheap, but with expensive tastes. We are more crunchy than 99% of the people at the mall. We probably shouldn't go back anytime soon.

It's true. We really should avoid it for awhile. Considering that some of the highlights included Bird's gDiaper leaking a river, causing us to let him go pantless for the rest of the trip AND Squeak needing to nurse in the middle of Ann Taylor, but Bird needing to go to bed, so I compromised and got Squeak latched on in Ann Taylor and then just walked through the mall to the car while nursing Squeak and trying to get Bird to quit screaming . . . well, let's just say we created a bit of a scene.

Bird: no pants and very loud.
Squeak: latched on and grunting.
Me: half a boob hanging out and mei tei dragging along behind me.
Kevin: stroller, diaper bag, and all purchases hanging from each arm.

Crabtree will never be the same.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Magpie DATE:Thursday, March 25, 2010 at 7:09:00 PM EDT I think you've nailed why I don't go to malls. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Unkempt Mommy DATE:Thursday, March 25, 2010 at 7:25:00 PM EDT I love this post. I feel the same way.

Plus, I always leave the mall feeling even more overweight than I am because of all those tiny stripper-esque teenage girls and matching mannequins in the windows of their favorite stores...which incidentally is EVERY store at the mall these days. We have one of those hair straightener kiosks with stalker sales people at our mall too! Crazy!

Hooray for online shopping! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Convertible Girl DATE:Sunday, March 28, 2010 at 10:15:00 PM EDT Ugh. Am with you all the way. And totally love that departure image ;) Glad you all survived! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Marketing Mama DATE:Monday, March 29, 2010 at 2:54:00 PM EDT Seriously laughed out loud at this post! I think that about the teen girls EVERY time I go to Crabtree (and walk by Forever 21). ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Tuesday, March 30, 2010 at 1:11:00 PM EDT I hate the mall. I will not go unless absolutely necessary. What a great exit you all went for though. LOVE IT! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Melissa (@adventuroo) DATE:Thursday, April 1, 2010 at 8:58:00 PM EDT Those straightener people REALLY harass me since I have curly hair! I love when you ignore them or say "no thanks" they try to get you by saying "can I ask you something?" Like I'm gonna fall for that crap! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Jill DATE:Wednesday, April 7, 2010 at 11:39:00 PM EDT I hate the mall. I had to go to a traditional one recently for a birthday party my 5yo was invited to and I was reminded yet again why I hate it. I haven't been in a mall in the last 5 years when I haven't walked out of there (1) skeeved out (b) irritated or (z) sad for civilization. Shop online. Make friends with your UPS man. They're always way cuter than anyone at the mall anyway! :-) ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Common sense DATE: 3/22/2010 08:59:00 AM ----- BODY:
It's amazing how very little time I have at the computer where I have two free hands. If I'm sitting down, I'm either nursing or holding a sleeping baby. If neither of those things are going on, then I'm on the run. And I cannot type with one hand. If my fingers can't keep up with my brain, I get very bored.

There has been plenty going on. Both boys have been to the emergency room, and Squeak was admitted and spent 3 days in the hospital. Both boys are fine now, and I've learned a great deal about being a parent in a worst case scenario driven health care system.

First, Bird was sent to the ER in the middle of the night by the call service nurse for our pediatrician. After days of fever from a fever virus that had finally climbed to 104.9 that morning, we found him crying in his crib with a temperature of 95 that night. Weird. So I called, and we were sent packing to the ER.

The short version, which is just as interesting but far less painful than the long version, is that Bird was just fine. In fact, by the time the doctor saw him, he was dancing around the exam room like Mick Jagger in his footie pajamas. We felt ridiculous for being there when what we should have done was gotten him up at home and observed him there for a little while before calling or going in. Lesson #1 learned.

Being the generous big brother that he is, Bird shared his virus with Squeak. Even though I know fever is serious in itty bitties, I wasn't that worried. His fever was 100.8 though, and I felt more comfortable taking him to the pediatrician. He looked good. He was eating, peeing, and pooping normally. So she ordered a blood culture and a urine sample and sent us home after consulting with some of her colleagues because of his age. I admit, I was nudging her along to the "go home" decision. I did not want to end up in the hospital with Squeak.

Beverly, our pediatrician, wanted to see him the next morning, just to be on the safe side, so we went back in and she declared him fever free and looking good. Big sighs were issued on a dodged bullet on this one, and we said our good byes.

Then, around 4:00 that afternoon, another doctor in the practice called and told us we had to get Squeak to the hospital NOW. As in, I was nursing him at the time and was supposed to stop and go to the ER. Weird, since he hadn't had a fever all day and seemed fine.

Again, the short version is far more interesting. He's fine. Not for a lack of invasive testing though. Bacteria in the blood is serious - if it's making you sick. However, there are instances where it's not making you sick, and there are even more instances of blood cultures being wrong due to contamination.

After three blood cultures (one out of each arm and the last out of his ankle), two catheters for urine cultures, one spinal tap, and a weekend of IV antibiotics, they decided that Squeak had a virus that he had kicked on his own.


While I think we all did the right thing at the beginning, there was definitely a point when I should have stood up and argued more. Demanded that they start using common sense and stop following the doctor rule book. I understand that rules are there for a reason, but Squeak was so obviously NOT sick anymore - it was just ridiculous to keep torturing him with that IV and more blood culture draws.

I should have stood up for my baby and said no to the last round of tests. I know now.

The nurses we had were wonderful though. It was refreshing to be around nurses who assumed that as Squeak's mama, I had it under control. They treated us with common sense actually. I stayed with him, and he co-slept with me the whole time. They never questioned whether I was feeding him enough and never suggested that I didn't know what was best for him. Since he showed every sign of a healthy baby with faulty test results, they treated him that way. Instead of following the clock, they followed his cues and took his temp when he happened to be awake. They made the stay quite bearable, and I am very grateful.

It's hard to argue with a doctor though. One of them asked me at one point if I actually had a scientific background. I guess I wasn't supposed to question so much? I told her that I did not, but that the definition of stupid was doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Okay, so I didn't really say that, but I wanted to, and said some extremely nice version of it that went something like, "doing the same test over and over again until you get the result you want seems very unscientific to me."

It's hard to argue with a doctor when they have the scare card in their deck. "IF" is a very powerful word when it comes to your child's health.

There has to be a balance when it comes to listening to the parent and following the doctor rule book.

I wonder if they wrote common sense into the fancy new health care bill? The health care system could use a huge dose of common sense for sure.

Home again and happy about it.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Anonymous DATE:Monday, March 22, 2010 at 12:08:00 PM EDT Doctors need to learn how to trust Mom. I had brought my 10 month old son in to evening hours because he "was asking like he was getting an ear infection." He'd had 4 already. I got the young squirt almost the doctor. He asked the routine, Fever? NO, Pulling at ears? NO! I kept insisting he was asting like he had one - the way he acts when he has one. Ben would only sleep if held upright, if you lay him down, he woke up and cried. Finally, after 10 minutes of arguing with me that he wasn't exhibiting the "classic" symptons, I said, "JUST CHECK HIS EARS!!!!"

Almost the doctor checks, and said "Wow, I've never seen one this early, it's pink but just barely." He's got a double ear infection! I politely (barely) suggested that in the future, he listen to the Mom. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous whymommy DATE:Tuesday, March 23, 2010 at 11:21:00 AM EDT Yikes! I'm glad that everything turned out ok.

BTW, I just viewed the brothers' video -- SO sweet. You've got a couple of strong, healthy boys there, with adorable temperaments.

Smooches! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Tuesday, March 23, 2010 at 12:29:00 PM EDT I'm so glad it all turned out ok. I'm learning so much from you. I'm gonna need it by this time next year. I hope! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous clifford DATE:Wednesday, March 31, 2010 at 3:59:00 PM EDT Ze good doctor was just trying to help you, man. "Trusting Mom" gets them sued if Mom ends up being wrong. Glad the kiddo is okay though. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Dumb rules I made before I had children DATE: 3/17/2010 11:52:00 AM ----- BODY:
I will never buy my children clothes with licensed characters on them . . .

I've added a new category to the blog. It's called "Dumb rules I made before I had children."

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous the sandwich life DATE:Wednesday, March 17, 2010 at 12:21:00 PM EDT Yeah, I had that rule ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Mem DATE:Wednesday, March 17, 2010 at 12:47:00 PM EDT us too- and i still don't allow other people to do it... unless its a character we are already obviously down with... we simply modified this rule to if they find them on their own and love em thats cool... but we don't force any licensed things down their throats- i know parents who do! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Renee DATE:Wednesday, March 17, 2010 at 1:00:00 PM EDT "i will never succumb to the cult of "Disney" princesses."

YEAH, RIGHT!!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous cindy w DATE:Wednesday, March 17, 2010 at 1:01:00 PM EDT HA! Yeah, I think I might've had that idea in my head. And once I found out I was having a girl, I was all, "No Disney Princess crap shall enter my house, ever!"

Um, yeah. Catie ate a Princess Gummy vitamin this morning and proudly wore her Princess & the Frog t-shirt to daycare today (because Tiana's dress is green, therefore totally ok for St. Patrick's Day). Sigh... ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Jennifer, Playgroups Are No Place For Children DATE:Wednesday, March 17, 2010 at 1:24:00 PM EDT HA! I had the same rule. Now, I don't think my son has any clothes that DON'T have some sort of licensed logo on them. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Issas Crazy World DATE:Wednesday, March 17, 2010 at 4:09:00 PM EDT Oh I think I had that rule once. Way back, before kids. Yep. Doesn't last long. Now everything in my house is High School Musical, Tinkerbell and Cars. It's like Disney threw up everywhere. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Stimey DATE:Wednesday, March 17, 2010 at 5:35:00 PM EDT Oooh, I'd forgotten about that rule, but I had it too. It didn't go well. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Dalia (Generation X Mom) DATE:Friday, March 19, 2010 at 10:43:00 PM EDT Don't you just love that. Or how about now that you are a mom and you hear others saying things like that. "My kids won't use a binky, my kids will be potty trained by 2, etc", you know their time is coming! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Melissa (@adventuroo) DATE:Monday, March 22, 2010 at 10:31:00 PM EDT Haha! So true. I also had a rule that my kid wouldn't watch TV before he turned two... big HAHA. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Convertible Girl DATE:Sunday, March 28, 2010 at 10:18:00 PM EDT Oh yeah, that's on my list, too. Have managed to contain it some -- mostly pajamas. The princess onslaught is already making me nervous. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Jill DATE:Wednesday, April 7, 2010 at 11:47:00 PM EDT My husband has one that he just won't shake: Our kids must be involved in some kind of organized team sport until they are in middle school. Of course, he made this rule before he met our oldest who is THE most awkward and un-athletically inclined 5yo you have ever seen in your entire life. Plus, he would much rather draw comics or read or play with Legos than do anything in the world. Nerd? Yes. Athlete? Only begrudgingly. And at this point my husband isn't willing to budge. The only saving grace is that my husband is also unwilling to do any of the things associated with actually signing a child up for sports activities, so I have several "Oops! I missed the deadline." to fall back on! ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Certain, I think. DATE: 3/09/2010 09:15:00 PM ----- BODY:
Today was my last appointment for this pregnancy and birth. The six week check up. I'm officially released into the wild again.

I am sad.

The thing is, I loved going to the Birth Center. I looked forward to my appointments and now they are over. I loved this journey of learning to trust my body and my baby. I loved the whole experience. And now with the help of Zoloft, I'm loving the postpartum period too.

I'm so happy with the way everything went and how everything is, I could be pooping rainbows.

Only now it's over.

I know what people will say. Nice people will reassure me that there might be another one. You never know what the future holds. Maybe you'll have one more. They will be trying to make me feel better.

The problem is, I know in my heart that we're done. It's not that we only wanted three children; truth be told, we would enjoy one or two more. There are so many things to consider though, the biggest of which is time.

Kevin and I didn't get married just so we could have kids. We got married because we love each other and because neither of us can think of another person we would rather spend time with. We got married because we love to walk together, cook together, travel together, make music together, go to concerts together, and 100 other things together. Selfishly, we would like to get back to some of those things as a couple before we turn 60. If that's going to happen (and we remain the kind of parents we want to be), we have to stop having kids.

Another issue with time is that Lovely is entering high school this year. That means in just four more years, she'll be heading to college. We want to be able to spend time with her. We want to go to the football games if she's in the marching band. We want to support her in whatever she chooses to do. A lot of what she'll be doing will take place at night, and right now, I would have to stay home with the boys. And taking a 3 year old to a piano recital? Not a good idea.

And still another time limitation is that I truly believe each child deserves some valuable one on one time with each parent during the week. Right now, and for the foreseeable future, Kevin works his hiney off. Between the amount of work he has to do and the commute, he is easily gone 50-60 hours a week and then still might have work to do from home. Add to that the never ending home addition, and you have a daddy whose time is stretched pretty thin as it is. Another child would likely mean someone's going to end up shortchanged.

I probably don't even have to mention our age. Neither of us are spring chickens, and by the time we would be ready to add another bambino to our clan, I would be 39 and Kevin would be 48. He wants to be able to keep up with his boys and be a fun, active dad. As do I (inserting "mom," of course). Watching him doing flips in the inflatable bounce house on Sunday, I marveled at his youth and called BS on his claim of being an old man. However, I respect the fact that he doesn't want to be 66 when his last kid graduates from high school. I get that.

I know I'm going to have to be talked down from the baby bug again and again. Shoot, even though we've planned on a permanent contraceptive procedure, I still brought home information on an IUD today. Just in case.

But really, I know. And really, I'm okay with it.

It says a lot about a place and the people that work there though, to have them make me want to have another baby just because they helped make the experience so wonderful. Thank you, WBWC. I love y'all more than you know.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Magpie DATE:Wednesday, March 10, 2010 at 9:59:00 AM EST You should tell them, the Birth Center people. I bet they'd be tickled. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous whymommy DATE:Thursday, March 11, 2010 at 8:30:00 PM EST I'm so glad that you had such a wonderful experience. Awesome. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous clifford DATE:Friday, March 12, 2010 at 10:50:00 AM EST He got to play in the inflatable bouncy house? DOOD. Where was my invite??!? :( ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Adventuroo DATE:Saturday, March 13, 2010 at 3:28:00 PM EST I agree- the Birth Center would surely be tickled! I love that you say you're released back "in the wild." Haha! I'm sure I'll feel like that too at my 6 week (halfway there!).

Can't wait to see you for MNO! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Kristen DATE:Monday, March 15, 2010 at 8:21:00 PM EDT I know exactly how you feel. My husband is 6 years older and we are now officially too old to be having kids. I had him fixed when I was five months pregnant with my 3rd because I knew that right about now (Mason turned 1 on Wednesday), we would be saying "how about one more?" It's tough because #2 was in a birth center and easy and #3 was a home and equally easy. Very tempting.

Enjoy your baby! And good luck figuring out the possible #4. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Convertible Girl DATE:Monday, March 15, 2010 at 10:18:00 PM EDT I'm with you completely. Went through all the logic and the conversations and knew we were done, but still wondered about it. In the end, I trust the same reasons you're trusting now. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Jennifer, Playgroups Are No Place For Children DATE:Tuesday, March 16, 2010 at 8:31:00 PM EDT Maybe there are just some of us that don't, for certain, KNOW. I think that we are just like you, we're probably done for so many of the reasons you listed.

Someone in my comments today said something along the lines of, "We wait and wait to have these babies and then that time of our lives is suddenly over." Exactly. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Parkinson's brothers DATE: 3/07/2010 10:35:00 AM ----- BODY:
Disclaimer: My family can be weird. Shut up. So can yours. Yes, I'm about to tell you that I read important family news on my mother's blog. It's better than when I read it on her Facebook page.

This morning I was catching up on some blog reading, including my momma's blog. It's a good thing I did, because I learned some big news. My uncle has Parkinson's. My father's little brother has been diagnosed with Parkinson's. Just like my father.

My first thought was how horrible that is for him. Just in general.

Then I jumped to how horrible it is that he has watched my father's plummeting decline for the past six years. He has a good idea of what is in store for himself, and it isn't pretty. I think this would be a case of ignorance being bliss.

Finally, I jumped to the selfish thoughts. About heredity and genetics. Two brothers hit with the same disease at almost the exact same time in their lives? My mind jumps to my twitching leg and my recently diagnosed depression. Is the anxiety I battle a precursor? Because I know my father battled it. I fight many of the same battles I watched him succumb to as I grew up. The temper, the nervousness, the paranoia. I see myself in him so very much.

I had been convinced that my dad's illness was tied up to his chemical exposure in Vietnam. That it was completely environment that made this happen to his body. I guess we know now that's not the case. The obvious answer would be genetics, but then again, it could be toxins from when they were children. They have never lived in the same place as adults though.

I want my husband, who works in genetics research, to figure this out. Ironically, he'll probably be the first to tell me that trying to find a genetic link will just give us more questions rather than answers. Or something like that. Stupid science. Dumb genetic research.

Is there prevention? I guess that's the question that I really should be seeking an answer. It's worth a shot at the very least, and more than likely, any prevention is tied up tight within a healthy lifestyle that I should be living anyway.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous whymommy DATE:Sunday, March 7, 2010 at 1:03:00 PM EST Yup. Go, researchers, go.

The rest of us can just lose weight, eat green stuff, and nix the coffees and diet cokes and all the chemicals in our daily diet.

And pigs can fly.


I'm sorry to hear about your uncle's diagnosis.

It's good to remember that your grandfather didn't have Parkinson's ... he was sharp as a tack! Sharper. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Convertible Girl DATE:Sunday, March 7, 2010 at 5:30:00 PM EST So sorry -- although glad to know I'm not the only one to learn family news in a roundabout way. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Becki DATE:Monday, March 8, 2010 at 8:49:00 PM EST I hear ya...The catch is that no two people or circumstances are could be a combination of all of it.
Now don't you feel better? :P
And you know about the deaths I've found out about on FaceBook. You won't hear me calling your family weird... ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Yes, I still blog here DATE: 3/03/2010 08:46:00 AM ----- BODY:
Gratuitous picture of my beautiful boys. Bird always wants to hold Squeak. It's sweet and a little dangerous all at the same time. He's going to love his little brother to death if we don't watch out.


Remember that last post? The one with the bullets? With this bullet in particular?
Yeah. The next day, I couldn't walk without help. We headed to the urgent care and found out that I had a nasty case of shingles.

Fair. Not. All that work to be back up and going right after Squeak's birth was hosed. I was down for the count for at least a week and have just now, almost 3 weeks later, gotten back to being able to handle a normal day of activity without my leg crying out in pain at the end of the day. The not very creative way to put it is that it completely sucked.

The salt in the proverbial wound is that my leg, which is currently one of two parts of my body that aren't pudgy (the other being my wrists), and is my husband's favorite part of me, is pretty scarred up now. I'm not sure if it's going to go away. I suppose only time will tell. I hope so, but I'll take the scars over the pain any day.


This morning, Squeak and I are headed to our La Leche League meeting. Poor Bird is sick again, so he's staying home with his daddy. Bird had to be picked up from preschool yesterday, and by 5:00 this morning, I had him in a lukewarm bath trying to get his fever of 104 to break. He's better this morning, but I'm grateful that Kevin stayed home to help. Yesterday was not easy.

Anyway, I've been thinking about La Leche League and wondering if I might want to become a leader. In theory, I would love to. I'm just not sure that I'm "LLL enough" to be a leader. I'm pretty moderate in my parenting philosophies if you were to average them out. As in, we vaccinate on schedule for the most part, but an artificial nipple will not touch Squeak's lips. As in, we co-sleep until the baby is ready to move, but eventually we are going to do some sleep training if we need to. Basically, we do what works for our family, and at the end of the day, I think that might be "LLL enough," but I'm not sure.

I really believe though, that moms need support and encouragement to breastfeed successfully. If that is something I could do, I think I would like to. I'm a little fearful of the commitment also. Sound wishy washy? Yeah. I know.


It's March, and I haven't written about Bird's second birthday. So many people just flat out ignored his birthday this year. I wasn't one of them, but I didn't do as much as I would have liked. But it hurt my feelings for him - being ignored for your birthday is rotten, even if you are only 2 and don't realize it yet. Hurts my mama heart.

That's all I'll say about that now. He deserves a full post for his big 2 year old day.


Amazingly, I got to type all of this in one sitting and didn't have to hold any children while doing so. If I don't stop now, that will no longer be true. So I end here, with way too much left to say, and a severe lack of editing in this wad of words. My apologies.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Amy DATE:Wednesday, March 3, 2010 at 10:24:00 AM EST Every LLL meeting I went to started with the leaders discussing that you hear many ideas but not all of them will work for your family. The goal is to do what works for you.

I think you'd be a GREAT leader. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Magpie DATE:Wednesday, March 3, 2010 at 12:44:00 PM EST Shingles sucks! I had it when my kid was about seven months old. I hope you're feeling better. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Mem DATE:Wednesday, March 3, 2010 at 6:53:00 PM EST you are exactly LLL enough! im not so LLL, well i'm more LLL now that i am a leader than when i was becoming one... BUT there are 12 guide lines that you have to believe in... they are really generalized and broad. one of the first parts of the process is to say- yes i believe the breast is best, here is why. and so on and so forth with the guide lines. go to an LA meeting and check it out- if i ever give birth i'll even go with you! i have an applicant right now so i'm on the up and up of requirements. you would make a great leader- fyi. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bren DATE:Thursday, March 4, 2010 at 1:51:00 PM EST You don't need to apologize at the end of your post! You have a newborn, a two-year-old, and are recovering from shingles which plainly said - suck! I didn't know of blogs when my kids were little, but lets just say I wouldn't have had the energy or creative juices to write at this stage. And I didn't have shingles. So hats off to you. Good to read how your family is doing. Thanks for sharing. Take care.

BTW, I am the Queen of Wishy Washy and I think it's great you want to be an LLL leader. I'm all for doing whatever works best for each family and calling that good. So you would have been great for me as that would have been exactly the type of person I would have wanted to talk to. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous whymommy DATE:Sunday, March 7, 2010 at 1:14:00 PM EST You're a good mom.

Remember that. 'k?

It's enough. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous clifford DATE:Tuesday, March 9, 2010 at 1:12:00 PM EST Whoever makes the rubber-bouncy case thingie for iPhones could make one for babies. Problem solved. And potentially^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X^X absolutely entertaining. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Biting the bullet DATE: 2/13/2010 05:22:00 PM ----- BODY:
There is a point that is reached in blogging - a point of no return from whatever has been keeping you from writing. It is at this point where we turn to the cop out of all blogging techniques: bullets.

I am at this point of bullets.
I suppose that's enough for now. Life is crazy. I can't believe I'm the mom of two boys now. I can't believe we're done having kids. I can't believe my own life's checklist is getting back to finding some time to do my own recording. I can't believe I got to have the birth experience I so deeply desired. I can't believe I'm still rambling on when I could be using this time to actually bathe. I smell.

Pictures soon, I promise.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous No Minimom DATE:Saturday, February 13, 2010 at 7:50:00 PM EST If you don't want to take Holly Aiken up on her offer, I will! Those are some super cute bags! Which one do you have? I may have to do some splurging with our tax refund! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous @sweetbabboo DATE:Saturday, February 13, 2010 at 9:35:00 PM EST Don't leave me hanging... I need to know more about the foot in mouth bit. Is that in regards to the person the post is about or is it in regards to the EE thing? I needs to know.

Anyway, bullets are perfectly fine and I CAN'T WAIT to see you all.


PS- Holly Aiken is too sweet! I may have to buy another purse or diaper bag just because of that. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Amy DATE:Monday, February 15, 2010 at 5:23:00 PM EST Brown music...that made me laugh! I love him and can't wait to see him!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous clifford DATE:Friday, February 19, 2010 at 8:06:00 PM EST Eighth bullet, with no pun intended: not a fatal flaw. Not a flaw at all. Hope it's a quality you maintain despite the 0-2 curves life throws you.

(...and hope you pull a few of them 375 ft over left center while you're at it) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous julie DATE:Tuesday, February 23, 2010 at 2:51:00 PM EST OMG you had your baby and I didn't even know! CONGRATULATIONS! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous workout mommy DATE:Thursday, February 25, 2010 at 9:59:00 AM EST i'm late to the party---congrats on squeaks birth!

and your comment about Dr. Weiner made me laugh out loud, so I'm apparently 12 as well. :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Марина DATE:Sunday, February 28, 2010 at 6:17:00 AM EST
I’ve always been interested in traveling. To see new places, to meet new people-what can be better? Yesterday I was searching on the internet and came across the site. The site is a real treasury! There is information there about all the possible places worth visiting on all the 6 continents with the best hotels to stay there and ships to get there! I fell in love with those bright pictures and even chose something for myself! The next step is to find money to get there! ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Squeak's water birth DATE: 2/01/2010 07:06:00 PM ----- BODY:
This is how I started Bird's birth story, and I think it still applies with some minor edits:

I'm reminded more and more that this space, though shared with many, is still first and foremost a personal journal. So as I begin this journey through becoming the mother of two, I'll most likely drone on and on. Don't feel badly to skip some posts, come back later, or even just skim. I'm going to just record it all for the record.

For the record, for my record, the very long birth story about about a not so long birth.

It was noon on a Saturday. The day before my due date. I realized that I had forgotten to get a baby book for Squeak, and I had library books to return (which are still in my car at this moment), so we loaded up the family and headed to Borders with plans to go by the library after that.

I'm walking through the bookstore, mumbling to myself that they are always moving things around when I became uncomfortably aware that my water had broken. A quick escape to the bathroom and a couple of curses at my unpreparedness confirmed it for me. I came out with a sheepish grin on my face, and Kevin didn't even have to ask.

"You're kidding me," he said.

He wanted to bolt and started rounding up Lovely and Bird. I wanted to buy the dang baby book I had come for, and I did. It's not the most wonderful baby book in the world, but at least he has one. Maybe he was just waiting on me to buy him one before he came.

We grabbed some lunch at a drive thru and headed for the house. I called the midwife and my doula to let them know that my water had broken, but that I didn't have any contractions. It was just like Bird's beginning except that I wasn't freaked out by it, and I didn't have a jackass OB telling me that it was a worst case scenario to have no contractions and have my water broken.

I made a list of things to encourage labor to get on with it. The midwife had suggestions and so did Julie, our doula. I sent Kevin to Whole Foods to get me some more raspberry leaf tea and a king cake. The king cake didn't have anything to do with labor, but it was awfully yummy. I sat on the birthing ball and bounced. I walked steps. We did some other things that are none of yo' beezwax.

By 7:00 or so, there was still nothing, and the midwife started talking castor oil. I really didn't want to go there, but I was willing. She gave me until the morning to do it because she wanted me to get a good night's sleep.

Julie paid lip service to the good night's sleep as well, but confided in us that she had taken a nap in preparation because she knew that as soon as I lay down to go to sleep, the contractions would start. She showed us some acupressure points, and told us to call her when contractions were coming 10 minutes apart for an hour.

From that point on, it was like whatever was suggested, my body took as a command. I went to bed around 10:30 and wasn't there 5 minutes before I had a contraction. By 12:30, we were calling the midwife to let her know they had been 10 minutes apart for a little over an hour. She said to call back when they were 5 minutes apart for an hour. The very next one came at five minutes, lasted for 2 minutes, and an hour after the first call, Kevin was making the second call while jumping into his blue jeans.

Meanwhile, I was changing the sheets for our neighbor, Cyndi, who was coming over to stay so we wouldn't have to wake the kids in the middle of the night. I did forget to leave out a clean towel for her, but I think I can get a pass on that.

I gathered up our meal for after labor, a Trader Joe's Moroccan chicken dinner, some juices, bananas, and the bags I had packed three weeks ago, and we hit the road.

Halfway to the Birth Center, the contractions had me gripping the door handle so hard I thought I might pull it off. They were way different than the ones at home. When we arrived, we parked in the back where I thought we were supposed to, and couldn't get in the building. After a phone call and a few more contractions, I finally just started beating on the door. Turns out, we could have just walked around to the front.

When we got inside, I tried laying down on the bed again to get some rest. Lee Ann, the midwife on call, checked me and declared (once again) that I had a lovely pelvis, which is nice to hear when you are aware that it is about to have to squeeze out a small watermelon. She also declared me to be pretty well effaced and about 3 cm. I was disappointed in the 3 cm, and assumed that we had a hella long road ahead of us. Lee Ann went to take a nap, because I think she assumed the same thing.

It was a little after 3:00 AM at this point.

By 3:27, I was standing up and having trouble focusing through contractions that were coming about 3 minutes apart and giving me just enough time to vomit in between them.

By 3:31, I was trying with all my might to subliminally will Kevin to put me in the car, take me to UNC and get me a freaking epidural.

It was best for me to quit watching the clock at this point. So I did.

The fear though, was that it was going to be like this for another 10 hours. I figured that 3 cm and my dang marathon labor with Bird were indicators that Squeak wasn't going to pop out for a good long time. I didn't think I could do what we were doing for much longer.

Julie kept saying to take it one contraction at a time. I heard her. I tried to heed it. I'm not sure how successful I was, but it was the only way to make it.

Some time before 5:00 AM, I asked to be checked again. Jewel, the midwife who was on nurse shift for the night, presented a brilliant diversion of the tub. I agreed to get in the tub. I needed to get off my feet, and I couldn't sit or lay down, so the tub seemed like a great plan to me. Much better than the plan I had concocted of getting checked, finding out I was only 4 cm, and running for my life towards the nearest medical intervention.

They started running the water in the tub, and it was like someone had put headphones over my ears and turned up the volume to eleven. It was so loud, and I couldn't keep to a low moan during contractions because I wanted to drown out that sound. I don't know why it was so awful, but it was. Finally, the tub was ready. I've seen women be all prepared and leave on their bras or a swim top or something. I just stripped completely naked and got in, trying to beat the next contraction.

As soon as I got in the water, my body gave me a five minute break. I slept soundly for five minutes. I only know it was five minutes because that's what they told me. It felt like an hour. That sleep was broken by a manageable contraction, which was then followed by the most freaked out I have ever been in my life.

I don't know how I came up with the scenario in my mind, but even though I knew I was going to be allowed to push naturally and with the rhythm within my own body, for some reason, I still thought that they were going to tell me when to start doing that.

Um, no.

The second tub contraction, I found myself pushing with all my might. The shadowing nurse jumped up and ran to get Lee Ann. She had just asked me if I was feeling some pressure, and I didn't answer her. I was trying to figure out what I was feeling when WHAM! Pushing.

All of the sudden I didn't feel the contractions anymore, but I knew when I should be pushing. I could feel his head almost immediately. Kevin grabbed one leg, giving me resistance to push against, while some of the other team members grabbed the other. I kept pushing and not getting him out until Lee Ann told me that there was a drop in his heart rate and I had to get it done.

At some point, Kevin thought it would be a good idea to document this water birth with a flashing camera. All he got was a blurry picture of me flipping him off and telling him to, "Cut it the f*** out!" Nice of me. I also remember screaming at anyone in earshot to "Take. Him. OUT!" because I was certain that there was plenty for them to grab and just pull. Crazy, I know.

Time was morphing. I thought for sure I was pushing forever, but really it was only about 15 minutes before I finally felt Squeak's head make it through. It was quickly followed by a chunky little body which before I could sigh with relief, was placed on my chest.

While the cord was pulsing, the team tried to get Squeak to cry. I'm not sure if there was tension or worry, because I was just soaking in the warmth and squishiness of my new son. But they kept at it until Squeak finally let out one good "WAH!" and then was quiet and content again.

After the placenta was delivered (which by the way, is really messy to do in the tub), I passed the little guy over to his daddy, who was ready for skin to skin (I love that man) with his new son.

I got out of the tub and dried off. Walked to the bed and sat down, watching my big man and little man bond. The midwife checked me out and declared me tear-free. Not a single stitch was needed, which amazed me since it felt like my vagina was turning inside out and being ripped apart.

We nursed. We rested a little bit. I got hungry, and NOT for Moroccan chicken. After all, it was morning. Kevin went out and got us breakfast.

The thing is, all of this post delivery stuff - I'm telling it like it's mundane. But it was the unknown bonus to Squeak's non-medicated entry into this world. I was knocked out from Bird's birth. Stayed in the hospital for two more nights and then took another week at home to be able to move around painlessly.

I was totally ready to go home about five hours after Squeak was born. It was awesome. Bird barely knew we were gone. He just had a lovely morning playdate with his BFF, Pippi, and then we were home with his baby brother.

I think the biggest difference in the whole experience is that I surrounded myself with people I trusted and put myself in an environment where I felt safe. I didn't go into the experience feeling like I would have to fight for simple things like being allowed to eat or drink if I was hungry. I was confident and had visualized the experience over and over again as positive and successful.

The whole thing was as close to perfect as I could have hoped for, except for the end result, which is far more perfect than I ever dreamed.

Welcome to the world, Little Squeak.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous @sweetbabboo DATE:Wednesday, February 3, 2010 at 6:57:00 PM EST Beautiful and perfect! I'm so glad it was everything you hoped it would be. Thank you for sharing. I am so happy for you and your family and I can't wait to meet Squeak. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous nikki DATE:Wednesday, February 3, 2010 at 7:30:00 PM EST Congratulations again, Marty, this was so great to read. I'm glad the birth center worked out for you -- it is such a positive, nurturing place. Sounds like you came through it all like a champ, and now you have your beautiful boy to show for it! So glad to hear your recovery has been easy this time around, too. Yet another benefit of natural birth! You are a WARRIOR and I'm so proud of you. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Stella DATE:Wednesday, February 3, 2010 at 8:31:00 PM EST This is one of the best birth stories...and stories in general, I have ever heard!
I am so glad that you delivered your precious bundle in the best way for everyone involved!
And, my goodness, he is just gorgeous! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Convertible Girl DATE:Wednesday, February 3, 2010 at 9:10:00 PM EST Still can't believe you were up there changing the friggin sheets between contractions -- you are too much, my friend.

Have to tell you, I'm envious of your story, especially the beautiful post-birth part. But mostly, am just very, very happy for you and Squeak :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Magpie DATE:Wednesday, February 3, 2010 at 9:26:00 PM EST Wow - what a ride - so glad everything was so perfect for you. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Rachel Ratliff DATE:Thursday, February 4, 2010 at 12:08:00 AM EST Beautiful story! He's perfect :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Mrs Mommy DATE:Thursday, February 4, 2010 at 3:09:00 AM EST What an amazing story! I love everything about it and truly wish I would have been able to have babies naturally. Damn C sections. Welcome to the word sweet little baby boy. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Amy DATE:Thursday, February 4, 2010 at 10:36:00 AM EST Lovely, lovely story. You are such an amazing, strong woman. I'm so impressed by you. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Stimey DATE:Thursday, February 4, 2010 at 6:53:00 PM EST What a wonderful birth story!!! I am so happy for you all. Congratulations! And he's beautiful! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Kelly DATE:Friday, February 5, 2010 at 11:02:00 PM EST Such an amazing birth story! Welcome to the world little Squeak! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Heather, Queen of Shake Shake DATE:Sunday, February 7, 2010 at 5:19:00 PM EST Just catching up on the big news - congratulations! He is just beautiful. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous whymommy DATE:Monday, February 8, 2010 at 8:05:00 AM EST Nicely done! I'm so, so proud of you -- for everything! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous kgirl DATE:Thursday, February 11, 2010 at 10:05:00 AM EST Wonderful, wonderful stories. And what a gorgeous result :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous clifford DATE:Thursday, February 11, 2010 at 7:36:00 PM EST Love ya and your luggage too, Marty...but there are some portions of some posts that guys just shouldn't read. Time to go curl up in the corner and suck my thumb now, yep. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Susie DATE:Friday, February 12, 2010 at 10:13:00 AM EST Love it! I love birth stories - especially ones that are such a contrast to my own :) Congrats on the beautiful baby and the amazing route to his getting here! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Марина DATE:Sunday, February 28, 2010 at 6:18:00 AM EST
I love my job very much but with all the existing crisis situation I did not feel very sure about my position. Yesterday I was looking something up in the Internet and came across the site. The information caught my eyes at once. I read it through unable even to turn my head and answer the questions of my home mates. The site contains the answers to all my questions and fears. Now I know how to behave in order not to lose my job. And I even found it in the list of the 8 Most Secure Jobs for 2010! ----- --------