AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Mama wings DATE: 7/15/2010 09:00:00 PM ----- BODY:
It is finally sinking in why mamas get baby fever. After Christopher, I didn't have baby fever. I knew that I wanted another baby, but it was more practical than feverish. I really wanted two little ones in the house at the same time. I wanted them to be siblings close in age.

But now, Colin is sitting up. He reaches for me after I unbuckle his carseat straps. He reaches to turn pages in a book. His gums are swollen from the teeth that are considering making an appearance soon.

He is not my little baby anymore, and I don't know where the time went.

When I was a mama for the first time, the days and weeks, hell - the hours - drug on like a Jim Jarmusch film. It took forever for me to get comfortable and confident with going out in public. It took forever for me to feel like I could gracefully nurse my new baby. It took forever for me to settle into life as a dyad, a coupled unit with my firstborn son.

When Christopher turned six months old, it felt like an entire lifetime to me. So much had changed, and I had endured the tempest of the trial by fire education of a first time mama. It was a relief to get to six months.

As a second time mama though, things have been entirely different. Colin's birth serves as a beautiful metaphor for how I feel with him. We were immediately attached. Connected. We never broke that dyad bond after he was born, so we never had to reform it. It was just there.

Realize here, that I'm not comparing my sons. I'm comparing my mothering. That's completely different than comparing my children.

After Colin was born, we were back home in a matter of hours. It was as if he had just magically appeared into our lives - as if he had always been there. Christopher was just at a morning playdate, and when it was time to come home and eat lunch, well shucks - his baby brother was miraculously there.

And it's been that way ever since, leaving the days and weeks - and hours - to simply fly past. It's not that I'm not noticing milestones, it's just that I can't believe they've already come and gone.

First time mama was so frustrated if the baby wasn't asleep at a certain time. Second time mama is just proud that the baby has finally started napping on his own every now and then. He'll sleep when he's ready.

First time mama was ready to feed the baby rice cereal exactly two weeks before his six month appointment. Second time mama is just amused at the way the baby pushes his banana around on the tray and licks it. He'll eat when he's ready.

First time mama was trying to figure out how to get to BlogHer with the baby and still feel connected to her old self. Second time mama is just happy to be at home with her family and still feel connected to her whole self. I'll venture out when both boys are ready.

It's strange. On the one hand, I feel so relaxed; like there is time for everything. On the other hand, I feel like time is slipping away; like my baby is growing up a million times faster than his big brother did. I can blink and get a glimpse of next year, and the next, and the ones not too far away when Mallory is leaving for college, Christopher is starting school, Colin is more than a toddler, and I'm turning 40.

Life is becoming a fly by for me in some ways, and I'm grateful - because it's my children who gave me my wings.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Mem DATE:Thursday, July 15, 2010 at 9:11:00 PM EDT oh the hormones! or your fab writing- but this made me cry! i am so there with you- and i have three- and wow does it go fast- henry's life went so fast that i barely remember it and now i am trying desperately to savor my small children- to enjoy the trenches of lots of little ones all over me and my never brushed hair and teeth because all too soon it will be gone. sigh. hug that big baby for me and tell christo-brrrr that we love him ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Sofi DATE:Thursday, July 15, 2010 at 9:41:00 PM EDT That makes two of us with hormones and tears. You are a terrific writer. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Five months DATE: 6/29/2010 09:59:00 AM ----- BODY:
Look at you. Five months old already. I don't know how the time has passed so quickly. You've been sitting up for almost a month now. It amazes me.

You have this hearty, throaty belly laugh that when accompanied by that huge open mouth grin you like to flash makes my heart completely melt.

We still co-sleep, and if for some reason I leave you sleeping in your daddy's lap and go to bed without you, I miss you terribly. It's the one good thing about the house not being finished yet. There is no pressure for you to go to your own room because you still don't have one yet.

I'm sorry that you've been sick so much. This morning, you vomited twice after you woke up, simply from all of the mucous you swallowed during the night. I don't know why you and I are having such a hard time kicking stomach bugs and colds, because you are certainly a breastfed baby. But we are both having a hard time staying well. You are a really good sport about it though. Thank you for that.

You have already stopped looking like a little clone of your big brother. I thought for a few months there that I was going to have identical twins, two years apart. You've come into your own though, and I apologize profusely for the ears I have passed on to you. You will most likely get teased over them until your hair grows in to offset them a little bit.

Right. And you are still so very very bald. That just means I can nuzzle your head all the more.

I read all about how I would have room in my heart for both of my boys. It's not that I thought otherwise - I knew I would love all of my children - but I didn't realize how much all of that love would grow. My whole life has become submerged in the depth of love I have for my children.

So your brother, sweet Bird, made me who I am, but you, my little Squeak, you complete me.

You are my littlest love.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Susan @WhyMommy DATE:Sunday, July 4, 2010 at 10:15:00 PM EDT I love this:
"My whole life has become submerged in the depth of love I have for my children."

Yup. Mother love is powerful.

Glad to see you back.

S ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Happy Mother's Day, Kevin DATE: 5/09/2010 09:06:00 PM ----- BODY:

I didn't think I would get to be a mother.

In my first marriage there were plans of adoption, disappointment, plans of insemination, and more disappointment. Then, there was an end to that marriage. That's the extremely short and shallow version.

Kevin is my proof of grace in this life. The reason that anyone gets to wish me, "Happy Mother's Day."

On a day where we honor our moms, I find myself wanting to shower my husband with adoration. He saw me for who I am, where I was, and loves me still even with all of my flaws. He trusted me to have his sons and provides for us so that I can stay home with them. He sees us as partners in parenting, making it only my "job" for the time that he is at his "job."

So thanks, Kevin. Thanks for knocking me up a few times. Thanks for being my support in pregnancy, birth, labor, and postpartum. Thanks for being the daddy-half. Thanks for loving me and loving your children like you do.

Happy Mother's Day to us.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous @sweetbabboo DATE:Sunday, May 9, 2010 at 9:37:00 PM EDT Ah, that's so sweet. He's got a good eye and he's definitely a keeper.

-Abby ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous No Minimom DATE:Sunday, May 9, 2010 at 9:45:00 PM EDT What an awesome post! Yay for our Kevins! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous toddlerplanet DATE:Sunday, May 9, 2010 at 10:38:00 PM EDT (wipes tears from eye)

You said it. Thank you, Kevin. And Happy Mother's Day to you both. You rock at being parents. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Marketing Mama DATE:Monday, May 10, 2010 at 11:36:00 AM EDT What a wonderful post! Hurray for Kevin. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Melissa (@adventuroo) DATE:Monday, May 10, 2010 at 2:30:00 PM EDT So sweet, Marty! Having a great spouse makes us better parents... no doubt about it.

Happy Mother's Day! ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Squeak's water birth DATE: 2/01/2010 07:06:00 PM ----- BODY:
This is how I started Bird's birth story, and I think it still applies with some minor edits:

I'm reminded more and more that this space, though shared with many, is still first and foremost a personal journal. So as I begin this journey through becoming the mother of two, I'll most likely drone on and on. Don't feel badly to skip some posts, come back later, or even just skim. I'm going to just record it all for the record.

For the record, for my record, the very long birth story about about a not so long birth.

It was noon on a Saturday. The day before my due date. I realized that I had forgotten to get a baby book for Squeak, and I had library books to return (which are still in my car at this moment), so we loaded up the family and headed to Borders with plans to go by the library after that.

I'm walking through the bookstore, mumbling to myself that they are always moving things around when I became uncomfortably aware that my water had broken. A quick escape to the bathroom and a couple of curses at my unpreparedness confirmed it for me. I came out with a sheepish grin on my face, and Kevin didn't even have to ask.

"You're kidding me," he said.

He wanted to bolt and started rounding up Lovely and Bird. I wanted to buy the dang baby book I had come for, and I did. It's not the most wonderful baby book in the world, but at least he has one. Maybe he was just waiting on me to buy him one before he came.

We grabbed some lunch at a drive thru and headed for the house. I called the midwife and my doula to let them know that my water had broken, but that I didn't have any contractions. It was just like Bird's beginning except that I wasn't freaked out by it, and I didn't have a jackass OB telling me that it was a worst case scenario to have no contractions and have my water broken.

I made a list of things to encourage labor to get on with it. The midwife had suggestions and so did Julie, our doula. I sent Kevin to Whole Foods to get me some more raspberry leaf tea and a king cake. The king cake didn't have anything to do with labor, but it was awfully yummy. I sat on the birthing ball and bounced. I walked steps. We did some other things that are none of yo' beezwax.

By 7:00 or so, there was still nothing, and the midwife started talking castor oil. I really didn't want to go there, but I was willing. She gave me until the morning to do it because she wanted me to get a good night's sleep.

Julie paid lip service to the good night's sleep as well, but confided in us that she had taken a nap in preparation because she knew that as soon as I lay down to go to sleep, the contractions would start. She showed us some acupressure points, and told us to call her when contractions were coming 10 minutes apart for an hour.

From that point on, it was like whatever was suggested, my body took as a command. I went to bed around 10:30 and wasn't there 5 minutes before I had a contraction. By 12:30, we were calling the midwife to let her know they had been 10 minutes apart for a little over an hour. She said to call back when they were 5 minutes apart for an hour. The very next one came at five minutes, lasted for 2 minutes, and an hour after the first call, Kevin was making the second call while jumping into his blue jeans.

Meanwhile, I was changing the sheets for our neighbor, Cyndi, who was coming over to stay so we wouldn't have to wake the kids in the middle of the night. I did forget to leave out a clean towel for her, but I think I can get a pass on that.

I gathered up our meal for after labor, a Trader Joe's Moroccan chicken dinner, some juices, bananas, and the bags I had packed three weeks ago, and we hit the road.

Halfway to the Birth Center, the contractions had me gripping the door handle so hard I thought I might pull it off. They were way different than the ones at home. When we arrived, we parked in the back where I thought we were supposed to, and couldn't get in the building. After a phone call and a few more contractions, I finally just started beating on the door. Turns out, we could have just walked around to the front.

When we got inside, I tried laying down on the bed again to get some rest. Lee Ann, the midwife on call, checked me and declared (once again) that I had a lovely pelvis, which is nice to hear when you are aware that it is about to have to squeeze out a small watermelon. She also declared me to be pretty well effaced and about 3 cm. I was disappointed in the 3 cm, and assumed that we had a hella long road ahead of us. Lee Ann went to take a nap, because I think she assumed the same thing.

It was a little after 3:00 AM at this point.

By 3:27, I was standing up and having trouble focusing through contractions that were coming about 3 minutes apart and giving me just enough time to vomit in between them.

By 3:31, I was trying with all my might to subliminally will Kevin to put me in the car, take me to UNC and get me a freaking epidural.

It was best for me to quit watching the clock at this point. So I did.

The fear though, was that it was going to be like this for another 10 hours. I figured that 3 cm and my dang marathon labor with Bird were indicators that Squeak wasn't going to pop out for a good long time. I didn't think I could do what we were doing for much longer.

Julie kept saying to take it one contraction at a time. I heard her. I tried to heed it. I'm not sure how successful I was, but it was the only way to make it.

Some time before 5:00 AM, I asked to be checked again. Jewel, the midwife who was on nurse shift for the night, presented a brilliant diversion of the tub. I agreed to get in the tub. I needed to get off my feet, and I couldn't sit or lay down, so the tub seemed like a great plan to me. Much better than the plan I had concocted of getting checked, finding out I was only 4 cm, and running for my life towards the nearest medical intervention.

They started running the water in the tub, and it was like someone had put headphones over my ears and turned up the volume to eleven. It was so loud, and I couldn't keep to a low moan during contractions because I wanted to drown out that sound. I don't know why it was so awful, but it was. Finally, the tub was ready. I've seen women be all prepared and leave on their bras or a swim top or something. I just stripped completely naked and got in, trying to beat the next contraction.

As soon as I got in the water, my body gave me a five minute break. I slept soundly for five minutes. I only know it was five minutes because that's what they told me. It felt like an hour. That sleep was broken by a manageable contraction, which was then followed by the most freaked out I have ever been in my life.

I don't know how I came up with the scenario in my mind, but even though I knew I was going to be allowed to push naturally and with the rhythm within my own body, for some reason, I still thought that they were going to tell me when to start doing that.

Um, no.

The second tub contraction, I found myself pushing with all my might. The shadowing nurse jumped up and ran to get Lee Ann. She had just asked me if I was feeling some pressure, and I didn't answer her. I was trying to figure out what I was feeling when WHAM! Pushing.

All of the sudden I didn't feel the contractions anymore, but I knew when I should be pushing. I could feel his head almost immediately. Kevin grabbed one leg, giving me resistance to push against, while some of the other team members grabbed the other. I kept pushing and not getting him out until Lee Ann told me that there was a drop in his heart rate and I had to get it done.

At some point, Kevin thought it would be a good idea to document this water birth with a flashing camera. All he got was a blurry picture of me flipping him off and telling him to, "Cut it the f*** out!" Nice of me. I also remember screaming at anyone in earshot to "Take. Him. OUT!" because I was certain that there was plenty for them to grab and just pull. Crazy, I know.

Time was morphing. I thought for sure I was pushing forever, but really it was only about 15 minutes before I finally felt Squeak's head make it through. It was quickly followed by a chunky little body which before I could sigh with relief, was placed on my chest.

While the cord was pulsing, the team tried to get Squeak to cry. I'm not sure if there was tension or worry, because I was just soaking in the warmth and squishiness of my new son. But they kept at it until Squeak finally let out one good "WAH!" and then was quiet and content again.

After the placenta was delivered (which by the way, is really messy to do in the tub), I passed the little guy over to his daddy, who was ready for skin to skin (I love that man) with his new son.

I got out of the tub and dried off. Walked to the bed and sat down, watching my big man and little man bond. The midwife checked me out and declared me tear-free. Not a single stitch was needed, which amazed me since it felt like my vagina was turning inside out and being ripped apart.

We nursed. We rested a little bit. I got hungry, and NOT for Moroccan chicken. After all, it was morning. Kevin went out and got us breakfast.

The thing is, all of this post delivery stuff - I'm telling it like it's mundane. But it was the unknown bonus to Squeak's non-medicated entry into this world. I was knocked out from Bird's birth. Stayed in the hospital for two more nights and then took another week at home to be able to move around painlessly.

I was totally ready to go home about five hours after Squeak was born. It was awesome. Bird barely knew we were gone. He just had a lovely morning playdate with his BFF, Pippi, and then we were home with his baby brother.

I think the biggest difference in the whole experience is that I surrounded myself with people I trusted and put myself in an environment where I felt safe. I didn't go into the experience feeling like I would have to fight for simple things like being allowed to eat or drink if I was hungry. I was confident and had visualized the experience over and over again as positive and successful.

The whole thing was as close to perfect as I could have hoped for, except for the end result, which is far more perfect than I ever dreamed.







Welcome to the world, Little Squeak.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous @sweetbabboo DATE:Wednesday, February 3, 2010 at 6:57:00 PM EST Beautiful and perfect! I'm so glad it was everything you hoped it would be. Thank you for sharing. I am so happy for you and your family and I can't wait to meet Squeak. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous nikki DATE:Wednesday, February 3, 2010 at 7:30:00 PM EST Congratulations again, Marty, this was so great to read. I'm glad the birth center worked out for you -- it is such a positive, nurturing place. Sounds like you came through it all like a champ, and now you have your beautiful boy to show for it! So glad to hear your recovery has been easy this time around, too. Yet another benefit of natural birth! You are a WARRIOR and I'm so proud of you. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Stella DATE:Wednesday, February 3, 2010 at 8:31:00 PM EST This is one of the best birth stories...and stories in general, I have ever heard!
I am so glad that you delivered your precious bundle in the best way for everyone involved!
And, my goodness, he is just gorgeous! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Convertible Girl DATE:Wednesday, February 3, 2010 at 9:10:00 PM EST Still can't believe you were up there changing the friggin sheets between contractions -- you are too much, my friend.

Have to tell you, I'm envious of your story, especially the beautiful post-birth part. But mostly, am just very, very happy for you and Squeak :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Magpie DATE:Wednesday, February 3, 2010 at 9:26:00 PM EST Wow - what a ride - so glad everything was so perfect for you. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Rachel Ratliff DATE:Thursday, February 4, 2010 at 12:08:00 AM EST Beautiful story! He's perfect :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Mrs Mommy DATE:Thursday, February 4, 2010 at 3:09:00 AM EST What an amazing story! I love everything about it and truly wish I would have been able to have babies naturally. Damn C sections. Welcome to the word sweet little baby boy. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Amy DATE:Thursday, February 4, 2010 at 10:36:00 AM EST Lovely, lovely story. You are such an amazing, strong woman. I'm so impressed by you. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Stimey DATE:Thursday, February 4, 2010 at 6:53:00 PM EST What a wonderful birth story!!! I am so happy for you all. Congratulations! And he's beautiful! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Kelly DATE:Friday, February 5, 2010 at 11:02:00 PM EST Such an amazing birth story! Welcome to the world little Squeak! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Heather, Queen of Shake Shake DATE:Sunday, February 7, 2010 at 5:19:00 PM EST Just catching up on the big news - congratulations! He is just beautiful. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous whymommy DATE:Monday, February 8, 2010 at 8:05:00 AM EST Nicely done! I'm so, so proud of you -- for everything! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous kgirl DATE:Thursday, February 11, 2010 at 10:05:00 AM EST Wonderful, wonderful stories. And what a gorgeous result :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous clifford DATE:Thursday, February 11, 2010 at 7:36:00 PM EST Love ya and your luggage too, Marty...but there are some portions of some posts that guys just shouldn't read. Time to go curl up in the corner and suck my thumb now, yep. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Susie DATE:Friday, February 12, 2010 at 10:13:00 AM EST Love it! I love birth stories - especially ones that are such a contrast to my own :) Congrats on the beautiful baby and the amazing route to his getting here! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Марина DATE:Sunday, February 28, 2010 at 6:18:00 AM EST www.securejobs.info
I love my job very much but with all the existing crisis situation I did not feel very sure about my position. Yesterday I was looking something up in the Internet and came across the securejobs.info site. The information caught my eyes at once. I read it through unable even to turn my head and answer the questions of my home mates. The site contains the answers to all my questions and fears. Now I know how to behave in order not to lose my job. And I even found it in the list of the 8 Most Secure Jobs for 2010! ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Savoring DATE: 1/19/2010 10:30:00 AM ----- BODY:
The silence doesn't mean much. It's just me turning inward a little, focusing on the job I have to do in the next couple of weeks. Focusing on the tangible now.

There was drama on the interwebs, and I knew that my emotional state and my big mouth needed to take a break. Step away for a little bit so that I could not waste my energy on fighting a battle that would soon dissipate into thin air as people simply moved on from it.

Besides, I have a job to do.

Week 37 presented with contraction after contraction. My face broke out, my tummy was upset, and I felt ready. So ready that I almost said "yes, come on" to my heart friend who I would love to be here for the birth. I'm glad I didn't though, because my littlest is still tucked warmly inside my belly, waiting on just the right moment to appear.

Week 38 presented with hardly any contractions and the energy to get some things clean around here. Kevin helped me with the kitchen, even cleaning off the bookcase which until now was simultaneously displaying my favorite Gail Pittman pieces, his favorite power tools, and a pound or two of dust. I am so happy to have it back to being pretty.

Week 39 is here. My littlest is a little less active; he tends to squirm most when I'm trying to sleep of course. I am peaceful. He will get here, one way or another, and within the next three weeks. I'm comfortable with all of the midwives. I have my bags packed. I have wonderful friends who are standing by to help us.

I'm into savoring.

Savoring each nursing session with Little Bird, as I don't know when it will be his last time not to have to share me. Savoring each morning that I get to roll over and lay on Kevin's chest while we snuggle and listen to the chit chat over the baby monitor. Savoring each turn and stretch that I feel inside me as I remind myself that this is what life is about now. No matter what parts of me remain - musician, arts advocate, teacher - the parts I love most are wife and mother.

The last days as a family of four are precious to me. I'm savoring them as best I can because once we become that family of five, I know that it will immediately replace these days as the best days of my life.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous mama DATE:Tuesday, January 19, 2010 at 12:34:00 PM EST the last days as the only boy, the youngest boy, the baby were the hardest for me. all i could think about was "what am i doing to him?!"
what i WAS doing was giving him the best present he'll ever get.
which is what you are doing, friend.
savor these last days. be peaceful. get centered.xo ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Convertible Girl DATE:Tuesday, January 19, 2010 at 1:46:00 PM EST You are such a smart mama -- savor away! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Melissa DATE:Wednesday, January 20, 2010 at 2:11:00 PM EST Savor every minute of it because it's easy to get caught up in the "ugly" stuff. Deep breaths and enjoy these last days being preggers. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Magpie DATE:Wednesday, January 20, 2010 at 2:45:00 PM EST Savoring is good. Much luck in the next endeavor. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous whymommy DATE:Wednesday, January 20, 2010 at 10:11:00 PM EST Savor, savor.

It sounds delicious. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Becky DATE:Thursday, January 21, 2010 at 10:19:00 AM EST I admire you lady!! You are an amazing woman!! Praying for you and your little one. I can't wait to "meet" him. Love and hugs to you girly! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous myrelish DATE:Friday, January 22, 2010 at 6:45:00 AM EST Stunning post. Your enjoyment and anticipation is beautiful. Good luck with all the excitement that is headed your way. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Марина DATE:Sunday, February 28, 2010 at 6:22:00 AM EST www.dentistsurgery.com
Looking up for the information for a paper on teeth diseases I came across dentistsurgery.com site. The information presented there is indispensable: 5 main teeth diseases described in each detail with pictures and advice how to prevent them! My paper was the best one in my group! ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Starting DATE: 12/31/2009 07:52:00 PM ----- BODY:
Kevin has declared 2009 the year in which nothing was finished. My new shiny outlook gets to declare 2009 the year in which many things began.

Either way, we still have major construction going on at our house.

It's going to be lovely when it's done.

That's my mantra. I say it three times as I breath slowly and stare out the back into the mud and mess. Really, it's not that bad. It is going to be lovely, and Rob, our contractor, is an amazing miracle worker. Truly.

2010 will be the year for finishing a lot of thing though. The house will get finished. Our family will be complete. Kevin will finish up a lot of lingering projects at work. He's really looking forward to it.

I'm okay with not being finished though. I'm kind of looking forward to starting a bunch more new things in 2010. Here are a few that come to mind:

1. Becoming a mama of two boys.
2. Learning to live without the extreme highs and lows I've had.
3. Tandem nursing.
4. Writing and recording again finally.
5. Getting back in shape.

Lovely will be starting high school. Little Bird will be starting multiple days of preschool. And my littlest boy will be starting life.

So here's to never completely finishing and finding plenty of new things to start in 2010.

Happy New Year, everyone.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous whymommy DATE:Friday, January 1, 2010 at 7:17:00 AM EST Happy New Year! I love your new outlook! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Amo DATE:Friday, January 1, 2010 at 5:12:00 PM EST Yes, here's to having lots of projects and purpose this year! May it be peaceful and prosperous for us all! I can't wait to read about your little one! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Stella DATE:Friday, January 1, 2010 at 8:54:00 PM EST Happy New Year! Here's to new beginnings!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Stimey DATE:Saturday, January 2, 2010 at 6:31:00 PM EST What a fantastic way to look at it. Happy New Year!!

I can't wait to hear about the tandem nursing! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Melissa DATE:Saturday, January 2, 2010 at 10:37:00 PM EST I look forward to seeing what happens with your "new things" for 2010... especially since we share #1 and #5 together! Don't you just love the start of a new decade?! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Tuesday, January 5, 2010 at 10:37:00 AM EST Happy New Year! Lots of good things and good beginnings to 2010! ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Big sisters are awesome DATE: 11/05/2009 07:00:00 AM ----- BODY:
Little Bird's big sister is 13. You wouldn't know it by hanging out with her - at least, not in the stereotypical 13 year old girl way. She is rarely moody, does what she is asked, and loves to spend time with her little brother. We really couldn't ask for more.

I was surprised that she didn't ask to do anything with her friends for Halloween. I asked her if they were getting together or having a party or anything. She rattled off different plans that they all had, but didn't mention missing out on anything. Hadn't she wanted to go do something with them on Halloween?

"No," she said. "I wanted to go trick-or-treating with Bird."

Cue me melting into a gooey mess of warm fuzzies.

They are two peas in a pod. Just so you can get a small glimpse of the joy my wonderful children fill this house with, here is a video of them pretending to eat their daddy's feet. The laughter is beyond contagious.


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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous slouchy DATE:Thursday, November 5, 2009 at 7:30:00 AM EST unbelievably cute! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Daily Verses DATE:Thursday, November 5, 2009 at 8:03:00 AM EST Not only is that adorable, but Bird talks so much! He has grown up a lot since I last saw him. What a little cutie pie. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Michelle Lynn DATE:Thursday, November 5, 2009 at 1:08:00 PM EST sweetest thing ever! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous No Minimom DATE:Thursday, November 5, 2009 at 7:10:00 PM EST I love how near the end he starts anticipating her "Ready?". SO so cute! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Jenn DATE:Monday, November 9, 2009 at 1:01:00 AM EST Ahhh....sweet! Your family is beautiful! ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Staying power DATE: 9/22/2009 07:41:00 PM ----- BODY:
There are few people who come into your life as friends and then remain that way forever. Sure, I've reconnected with plenty of people on Facebook, but there are less than ten there who I've been friends with for ten straight years.

A lot of that is my fault. I decided to try and completely fuck up my life in my 20's, thereby rendering me not such a good friend. Truthfully, it wasn't so much a decision as a series of really bad decisions. Including my choices in new friends.

In fact, in my collection of Facebook friends, there is a time warp of about 8 years. I have high school friends, a handful of college friends, and then jump ahead to 2005. With a couple of exceptions.

One shining exception is Uncle Dave. He has graduated from his old nickname of Tattoo Dave because he really is more family than friend.

This past weekend, Uncle Dave came for a visit. He lives in Portland now, and we miss him a lot. The last time we saw him was when we took off to Portland for a weekend to see Dave and Crowded House. It was almost two years ago to the weekend, and I was almost exactly the same amount of pregnant then as I am now. Funny.

Little Bird had never met Uncle Dave. He has seen pictures, and he has heard Dave's music. Here he is head bobbing along to one of Dave's tunes:



I love that.

Uncle Dave, who really would be a wonderful Daddy Dave with the right Mommy, got to spend lots of time with Bird, and Bird couldn't have loved him more. He was fascinated, and I know that he misses him now.

I know this because when he picked up his pretend phone today, he didn't call Papa for the first time in forever.

He called Dave. "Day-ahve?" Multi-syllabic Dave has earned a treasured spot in Bird's imaginary phone calls.

It's a good man and a good friend who stays your friend through divorce, remarriage, and then not only tolerates your toddler, but actually enjoys spending time with him. Could the universe please explain why he hasn't been snatched up already?

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Convertible Girl DATE:Tuesday, September 22, 2009 at 9:35:00 PM EDT So lovely -- those friends are really, really important. And he's still single for the same reason my wonderful girlfriend up the road is -- just not the right time yet, for some completely inexplicable reason. Grrr... ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous whymommy DATE:Wednesday, September 23, 2009 at 3:37:00 PM EDT I remember Tattoo Dave! Fun that he's back, and that he got to meet Bird in person. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Thursday, September 24, 2009 at 8:26:00 AM EDT What an awesome friend. Love the video! Those headphones are as big as his head! ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Best friends DATE: 8/18/2009 09:37:00 PM ----- BODY:
After my oldest dog, Chelsea, died in December, Bird seemed to lose interest in dogs for awhile. The other dogs are so much bigger than Chelsea was, and with Bird just learning to walk, he was leary of them.

I can't say that I blame him. Gibson and his big chocolate lab tail can still knock him down with one exuberant wag.

This summer, he has become inseparable from the two big dummies, as we affectionately call them. "Dog" is constantly coming out of his mouth.

He hears them in the backyard, barking, and he runs to the door to help let them in.

He likes to help feed them by carrying their bowls to the utility room where we keep their food.

He also like to help them eat by squatting next to their bowls and putting the little pieces of kibble that they drop back into the bowl for them.

This week, Bird learned how to give them cookies. Now, he will go into the kitchen and put both arms up towards the cookie jar and say "dogdogdogdogdog" until I get two dog biscuits for him to share with his best friends.

I think I love it best when he sits with them on the dog beds. Just one of the pups.

I think the Setter loves him too.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Amo DATE:Wednesday, August 19, 2009 at 4:49:00 PM EDT What a beautiful dog! Those are some cute pictures!! What a sweetie! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous No Minimom DATE:Wednesday, August 19, 2009 at 7:08:00 PM EDT All together now: "Awwwwwwwwwwww..." :-) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Tuesday, September 8, 2009 at 1:07:00 PM EDT How freakin adorable! ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: The right path DATE: 8/07/2009 02:05:00 PM ----- BODY:
I don't want to sleep there, I'm not particularly interested in peeing there, and I certainly don't want to cook there, but I do love the woods. I love mountains specifically, and I love streams.

I'm not sure why we don't do more hiking. We have the dogs for it. We have the kid for it. We have the love for it. We just don't get around to it.

Kevin is a doer. There is always a project either in full swing or in planning mode. It is one thing I love about him. He finishes what he starts, and he starts big things. His plans are not lightly made nor are they easy to finish. Right now, he is adding onto the house. Just he and the contractor. When he comes home from work , he works some more. On the weekends, he's building. I'm excited for the new spaces, but I think I am more excited for him to finish so that I have some of his time and attention back.

All this to say, I think this is why we don't hike. We do things together as much as possible, but this is a stage in our life where Kevin is determined to get things in order. I love him for that. I miss him, but I love him.

While we were in the mountains, I had him back to myself one day. He wanted to know what I wanted to do, and I chose this hike. We packed a backpack full of snacks, water, and diapers. The dogs got to tag along and tap into their inner hunters. Gibby ran out about 10 feet ahead with his tail pointed straight up. He even helped corral Little Bird when he got too far ahead of us.

We miss a turn along the way - rather, I missed a turn, and we ended up about 40 minutes off track. Luckily, we had also packed our Babyhawk, so tired Bird could ride on his daddy's back when he got tired. And after playing nekkid in the creek for awhile?

Bird was really really tired.

It was a great day with my boys, my dogs, and a trail in the mountains.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Nita DATE:Tuesday, August 11, 2009 at 12:12:00 AM EDT I loved these pics when I first saw them and I am so glad you shared the story with us. What a great day with your boys and pooches. That sounds like the most perfect thing ever. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous whymommy DATE:Tuesday, August 11, 2009 at 2:06:00 AM EDT Mmmm... sounds AWESOME!

We need to do more hiking too. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Steph DATE:Tuesday, August 11, 2009 at 8:27:00 AM EDT Sounds like a great time! We love to take the boys hiking (the princess hates it) and carriers are great for it! I LOVE your babyhawk ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous wildwesthome DATE:Tuesday, August 11, 2009 at 8:42:00 AM EDT Ahhh - I love the mountains. Something about being there is so refreshing and just wakes me up :).

You have a beautiful family! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Tuesday, August 18, 2009 at 1:53:00 PM EDT So sweet. Nice you had a good day. :) ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: The best day DATE: 7/24/2009 01:31:00 PM ----- BODY:
Today is our third anniversary. Three years ago today, Kevin and I jumped head first into marriage. The months preceding our impromptu nuptials were set to a Damien Rice soundtrack as we spent every moment we possibly could together. We were so surprised to find each other. So surprised to fall in love so quickly and so deeply.

One of our songs. For you, Kevin. You are truly the love of my life.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous @sweetbabboo DATE:Friday, July 24, 2009 at 4:20:00 PM EDT Happy Anniversary! Here's to many, many more years of love.

-Abby ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Stella DATE:Friday, July 24, 2009 at 5:04:00 PM EDT Happy Anniversary! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous No Minimom DATE:Friday, July 24, 2009 at 9:06:00 PM EDT Awww... Happy Anniversary you two crazy kids! And you have a lovely voice!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Susie DATE:Saturday, July 25, 2009 at 11:38:00 AM EDT There are no words to describe the depth of love between two rightly matched. I'm so glad you found the music. Happy Anniversary! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous PrincessJenn DATE:Saturday, July 25, 2009 at 4:49:00 PM EDT Wow. What a beautiful song.
Happy Anniversary. What a lovely way to express your love. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Just Like Birdie DATE:Sunday, July 26, 2009 at 11:47:00 AM EDT Never let anything get in the way of how you feel when you play that song for him. Everyone can hear the love you have for him...Kevin's a very very lucky man. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Liz DATE:Sunday, July 26, 2009 at 7:34:00 PM EDT holy sh*t, marty.... is that you? why have i never heard you sing?

this is gorgeous.

happy anniversary. what a beautiful adventure. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Mem DATE:Thursday, July 30, 2009 at 11:23:00 AM EDT thankyou so much for sharing that with us marty!!! kevin is lucky to have you! and we are all lucky that you share your world with us! happy anniversary ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Monday, August 3, 2009 at 10:56:00 AM EDT Happy belated Anniversary! I know there are many happy years ahead for you! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous wildwesthome DATE:Tuesday, September 22, 2009 at 10:52:00 PM EDT I JUST now listened to this - what a treat, what a voice!

What a lucky man :)

Happy Anniversary (late)!! ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Welcome to the world, Rena Rose DATE: 7/16/2009 09:52:00 AM ----- BODY:
I know I haven't posted in over a week. I was totally wrong about being over the plague last time. It was just some weird two hour break and then things got way worse. Aside from my sinuses still cleaning out and the persistent cough, I am well now, and there are pictures and stories to post. But not today.

Today belongs to Leanne, Daniel, Lydia, and Rena.

I have been reading Daniel's words since January 2007, and openly weeped at my computer this morning because I am so very happy for them.

Congratulations to an amazing family.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Convertible Girl DATE:Thursday, July 16, 2009 at 2:51:00 PM EDT Now that I've followed the link, read several posts from Daniel, stopped sobbing, hugged my babies and pulled myself back together...

I have a good friend (my age) who is also a lymphoma survivor. She was diagnosed right after we graduated from college and has now been cancer-free for 13 years. Amazing stuff! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous luchalee DATE:Thursday, July 16, 2009 at 7:40:00 PM EDT today belongs to love,
of which we're all deserving of
taking and giving.

to love. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Susie DATE:Friday, July 17, 2009 at 10:43:00 AM EDT Sorry to hear that you still don't feel well. So happy to read about Daniel's family. Their story has gripped me for the last year as well. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Song Bird DATE: 6/24/2009 08:26:00 PM ----- BODY:
When Little bird was 7 weeks old, I started taking him to Music Together classes. Some insane idea that I should be "doing something" with him. At 7 weeks old. I'm crazy, but I mean well.

Maybe though, it's not as crazy as I thought. Today, at just shy of 17 months, Little Bird serenaded us with "Trot Old Joe." It may be that the only people who appreciate this are Liz and Kristin, but that's alright.

The song goes like this:

Trot, Old Joe. Trot, Old Joe.
You ride better than any horse I know.
Trot, Old Joe. Trot, Old Joe.
You're the best horse in the country, ohhhhh
Whoooooaaaaaa, Joe.

The "Trot, old Joe." part is, "Mi-Do-Do," or a descending major third. Today, it was the last song we heard in the car on our way home from the grocery store. When we got inside, Bird started dancing around the kitchen singing, "Doo, doo doo" in the rhythm and pitch of "Trot, old Joe." He did this several times and then threw his head back and sang, "Whooooaaaaa!"

Just to show me that I wasn't making out something that wasn't there, he did it again at dinner. After he was finished eating, he started singing again. Kevin immediately recognized that Bird was singing an actual song, because it was. Of course by the end of Bird's impromptu concert, he was doing only one "Doo doo doo" before throwing his head back in an enthusiastic "Whooooaaaa!"

He has been trying to do the pitch and rhythm echo exercises at the end of certain songs on our Music Together cd's for awhile. But tonight - an actual song.

My little singer. He already knows how to play my heart strings.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Becki DATE:Wednesday, June 24, 2009 at 9:23:00 PM EDT Awesome :) I take it the video just isn't working right now? ;) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Convertible Girl DATE:Wednesday, June 24, 2009 at 9:23:00 PM EDT He's a musical genius! Must show you the adorable photo of him playing the sax while CC plays the drums. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Liz DATE:Thursday, June 25, 2009 at 11:09:00 AM EDT WOOOOOOOOOOOAH JOE!

(your the best horse in the country-o!) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Liz DATE:Thursday, June 25, 2009 at 11:34:00 AM EDT make that "you're"

nice. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Thursday, June 25, 2009 at 1:39:00 PM EDT So adorable! Musically talented.. just like his mom! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous pastormargaret DATE:Thursday, June 25, 2009 at 4:12:00 PM EDT Can't wait to hear Bird sing! I always did say his mama had more music in her little finger than I had in my whole body. He's following in your footsteps. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Clifford DATE:Wednesday, July 8, 2009 at 10:37:00 PM EDT Dude. Picture. That is SO your kid. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Ditto junior DATE: 5/13/2009 09:49:00 PM ----- BODY:
At church, we pass a dignified attendance pad in which everyone on the pew writes their name, and we all pretend not to be too interested in it as it comes back down the line. If you are too interested, you are nosy, but if you don't look at all, then you are aloof.

Damn Presbyterians.

I always look. In a church with 4000+ members, I want to know if I'm sitting next to visitors or not so that I can speak to them appropriately. I would hate for someone to visit and not be spoken to at all, even if I'm not currently the most active member. I can still say "hello."

This past Sunday, two men sat down to our right. When the attendance pad came back down the pew, I peeked at it and noticed that the man on the end had entered ditto marks for his name, followed by, "Jr." I laughed out loud, which was incredibly inappropriate, but whatever. It was funny.

It immediately made me think of Little Bird.

As his mama, I have the extraordinarily difficult task of caring for him day to day. I have to make sure that he is learning as much as he can learn, being nourished, resting, developing social skills, and that he stays safe. A mama's job is a hard one and is the most responsibility I have ever borne.

However.

Bird wants to be exactly like his father.

Bird wants to be the ditto marks that follow his daddy around. When Kevin was installing the baby gate at the top of the stairs yesterday, Bird sat mesmerized by him. He picked up a screwdriver and began trying to "help" Kevin put the screws into the wall. He mimicked Kevin using the drill, and he tried his very best to pick up the exact same screws that Kevin picked up.

I think that Kevin has the much more difficult task when it comes to parenting. If he trips and yells, "shit!" then the next word that Bird will learn is, well, you know. It is not unlike the unrelenting paparazzi where if you do that one very uncouth thing? They are going to catch it on film. That is what Kevin's life with Bird is like now.

It is a huge responsibility, and I can tell that it is already weighing heavily on his mind. Kevin wants to be the kind of man that his son can model. He wants to be someone that Bird can learn from and imitate to become a good man.

What he doesn't realize is that I have always known that he was. It is one of the many reasons I fell in love with him in the first place.

If my son can learn to be half the man my husband is? I will be so very proud.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous @sweetbabboo DATE:Wednesday, May 13, 2009 at 10:35:00 PM EDT Oh Marty, you should have saved this one for Father's Day. It's just perfect. What a lucky man to have a wife who recognizes his value and worth just any old Wednesday.

-Abby ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous toddlerplanet DATE:Thursday, May 14, 2009 at 1:25:00 AM EDT Aw ...

"Bird wants to be the ditto marks that follow his daddy around."

That is an AWESOME phrase, and I know just what you're talking about.

Although I do have to say, my boys love the drill too ... they just think it's something mamas use! :-)

Here's to many days of drilling and watching diggers to come. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous No Minimom DATE:Thursday, May 14, 2009 at 7:47:00 AM EDT Very sweet post! Your boy is very lucky to have such a good daddy. (My boys are lucky ones, too!) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Clifford DATE:Monday, May 18, 2009 at 8:56:00 PM EDT Babies with power drills. It's possible, yessir. Just saying. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Wednesday, May 20, 2009 at 11:55:00 AM EDT Dude.. Kev so rocks!! Yes, it would be awesome if LB was like him, he won't be, because he's LB, but I am sure that Kev will stear him right. :)

You have an amazing family. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Love and attention DATE: 5/10/2009 08:15:00 PM ----- BODY:
It's been an awesome day. Not only did both of my boys go to church with me this morning, but Kevin even watched Little Bird so that I could take my time getting ready. That meant a date with the flat iron and complete eye makeup. That meant moisturizer, Avon Magix, AND foundation. That meant painted toenails. I felt like an actual woman.

After church, Kevin made brunch, including hollandaise sauce. From. Scratch. He even fashioned a double boiler our of one of my stainless steel bowls and a pan. Aside: I guess I could unpack that box of kitchen stuff now that we aren't moving. Bird was being particularly grumpy today, and had refused his nap, so he joined us for brunch and had an English muffin with peanut butter. After brunch, he went down like a champ.

I came back downstairs to find Kevin sitting on the floor - which I had cleaned yesterday - scrubbing the fronts of our kitchen cabinets. He had already finished the dishes, so why not, right? Sweetheart.

For the rest of Bird's nap, Kevin and I lay on the couch and watched The Business of Being Born, which I think was a good Mother's Day selection. Bird woke up in the middle, but we brought him downstiars and finished it anyway. He loved looking at the babies, and when they would nurse, he would point at the TV and say "nuh-nuh," which is what he says for "nurse."

After that we went to North Hills, which is a fabulous outdoor mall less than a mile from our house, and had some Ben & Jerry's before we hit the Target for some baby forks and some other random stuff.

Following our outing, we came home, Bird rode in his new car and I planted some Hybiscus, some parsley, and tarragon. It's a good day that ends with dirt under Mama's nails and a baby with dirty knees.

There was a card, and a hand soap & lotion set for my kitchen sink - just what I asked for - and as much as I appreciate them both, the day would have been complete with just the company of my boys. Their love and attention is all it takes to make for a fabulous day.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous No Minimom DATE:Monday, May 11, 2009 at 6:22:00 PM EDT Sounds like a fabulous day! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Wednesday, May 20, 2009 at 12:01:00 PM EDT That sounds great! Happy Late mom's day! ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Little Bird makes friends DATE: 5/06/2009 05:18:00 PM ----- BODY:
We've been in sunny Florida. Kevin's aunt/godmother lives near Sarasota. Little Bird and I had never met her, so it was high time for us to make a trip.

It didn't look good last week. First I realized that I had booked our flight for PM instead of AM. That put us in Florida a little past midnight with our 15 month old. How fun does that sound? Then I couldn't remember which car rental I had reserved a car with, and we hadn't received an email confirmation. So after many frustrating phone calls last Tuesday, we decided to try and get on standby in the morning and I found we had a reservation with Alamo.

Flying with a 15 month old in lap is an adventure. You really need 2 laps for said 15 month old, so I was glad Kevin and I always had seats together. Also? Still nursing that 15 month old was a lifesaver. That "neh-neh" really kept Little Bird happy on take off and landing.

For the most part though, Little Bird was an excellent traveler. He has this really cool mix of wanting to be with Mama and Daddy, but at the same time, being very curious about the people around him. He will smile at a stranger, play peek-a-boo with them, or keep waving until they just have to smile back. It doesn't matter what they look like or how old they are.

The older hippie sitting across the aisle from us on one leg of the trip became fast friends with Bird. Saying their goodbyes, Bird waved enthusiastically, and Professor Surf told him, "Goodbye little dude. Go doing something great one day."

And considering how my child can draw a smile out of everyone he sees, what I wish I had said to him was, "He already has. He creates joy."

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Convertible Girl DATE:Wednesday, May 6, 2009 at 8:13:00 PM EDT He sure makes me smile -- and Pippi, too :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous pastormargaret DATE:Wednesday, May 6, 2009 at 9:39:00 PM EDT Finally a blog. I miss this link when you don't have time to write. Yes, Little Bird does, indeed, create joy. My heart is full of it! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous whymommy DATE:Friday, May 8, 2009 at 10:26:00 AM EDT Yeah!

Awesome, awesome response.

I love the picture ... how did Little Bird like the sun and sand? ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous toddlerplanet DATE:Saturday, May 9, 2009 at 10:31:00 AM EDT P.S. I'm with Momma on this ... where go the blogs these days?

Miss you. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Wednesday, May 20, 2009 at 12:04:00 PM EDT He sure already does... ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: These women who I love DATE: 2/24/2009 09:09:00 PM ----- BODY:
There really has to be a better terminology than "in real life." You've probably seen it online - IRL - to denote between what is real and what occurs online. I used to use it. I've decided I'm done with the phrase.

The friends I've made via the internet are as real as the friends I get to see face to face. Granted, there are differences to the relationships, the history, and how they play out, but they are just as real.

It's my birthday. Yup. Today. Fat Tuesday. I freaking love it when my birthday falls on Mardi Gras. I get to stick a candle in a King Cake and dance around like a fool. It's awesome.

I got the best present this year. I had to beg for it, but I got it.

Kevin took me to Baltimore to see some of my friends. Some of my real friends. We spent the afternoon with a crowd of them, and then spent the night with Nita and her family. It was absolutely wonderful.

These women have invested themselves in my life. They have trusted me and given me reason to trust them. They have stayed with me through my cliched darkest days and brightest ones as well. We have grieved together and celebrated together. I honestly love them.

Gail, Amy, Jill, Nicole, Heather, Jessica, Nita were all there. I had never met any of them in person before, and yet there wasn't a moment of awkwardness. Well, except when I cried during my first Gail hug. Or cried again when I was telling Jill goodbye. Or when Amy texted and said that she was going to make it after all. Okay. So it was awkward when I kept crying. I couldn't help it though. I was too too happy.

Thank you, Kev, for going with me and meeting these fantastic women. I hope next time that the whole group can be together. The whole group of real friends.














Happy birthday to me. I'm a lucky lucky woman. And yes, I'm aware that my child is only 1 and is already a boob man. That has to be my favorite picture ever.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous C.K. DATE:Tuesday, February 24, 2009 at 9:42:00 PM EST I think the phrase you're looking for is "in meatspace." ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Daily Verses DATE:Tuesday, February 24, 2009 at 9:55:00 PM EST Happy Birthday, lady. I didn't find your crying to be awkward at all. I was, and still am, so moved by what you said to me. I love you and hope you have the best, fattest Tuesday birthday ever! I am so glad that you and the other ladies are now "IRL" friends! :-) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous gail DATE:Tuesday, February 24, 2009 at 10:48:00 PM EST Happy birthday my friend. Here is to another year together, May there be many more friendship filled years!

Jilly you're included in the IRL stuff. Just sayin'. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Nita DATE:Tuesday, February 24, 2009 at 11:07:00 PM EST Happy Birthday!!! It was such a pleasure to spend time with you and it was really an amazing experience, getting to actually meet all of these ladies. We are so lucky to have each other.

I am so happy you had a great birthday. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Wednesday, February 25, 2009 at 6:57:00 AM EST Happy Birthday!!! I am so glad you go to go meet up with your friends. That's awesome. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Amy DATE:Wednesday, February 25, 2009 at 9:20:00 AM EST Happy birthday! I actually feel closer to you now that we've seen each other face to face, than I did before, and that's saying a lot. It's been a wonderful ride these past two years, and I'm hoping there are many more to come. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Spacemom DATE:Wednesday, February 25, 2009 at 11:47:00 AM EST Happy Birthday!(a day late)

The IRL always sounds funny. I use "cyber friends" or "Axe murderers" for my net friends! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Beautifully Unique DATE:Wednesday, February 25, 2009 at 3:40:00 PM EST That is truly an amazing birthday gift. I'm so bummed that I live so far away and wasn't able to join in the meet-up. Maybe some other time.
And I agree, I couldn't have any better friends than my "real" friends I've met through NMD. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous MB DATE:Wednesday, February 25, 2009 at 10:45:00 PM EST Happy Birthday! Mine is 2/24 too! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous whymommy DATE:Friday, February 27, 2009 at 11:48:00 AM EST I'm glad you had such a good time with your friends. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Little Bird Turns One DATE: 1/26/2009 02:19:00 PM ----- BODY:
Last night, I was rocking and nursing Little Bird to sleep, thinking about where we were at that time one year ago. It was still several hours from when we would meet, and both of us were already exhausted. It was his due date, but not his birth date. That came today. Looking down at him, I couldn't believe that it only took one year for him to change so much.

Where the little baby used to be, a little boy has moved in, and I love him.

There are so many new things. I can't keep up with them all. Last week he started walking. He figured out that the telephone was to talk into, and now he can't get enough of it. He plays with his rhythm instruments in perfect time. He repeats back more of what we say to him in such perfect mimicry that it's already making me clean up my language. His nana will thank him for that one.

By far though, the most wonderful thing he has learned is how to hug. I don't know when he learned it or from whom. However, that makes it all the better. No one was intentionally teaching him how to hug, but obviously he was getting plenty of them because now he is a virtual hugging machine.

At his birthday party on Saturday, he leaned over and spontaneously hugged Little A, my friend T's seven year old. He frequently leans out of my arms to hug his big sister, Mallory, or his daddy. Today, instead of waving good bye to his Papa, he hugged him. He hugs the dogs. He hugs his stuffed animals.

He hugs his mama. And I melt into a puddle of happy mama tears.

This little baby. This little boy. This little person. He is so becoming himself, and what I see him becoming is a very sweet and loving child. Nothing could make me prouder.

Happy birthday, Little Bird. Your mama loves you more than you know.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Beautifully Unique DATE:Monday, January 26, 2009 at 3:08:00 PM EST Isn't it amazing how much their little minds learn in the first year or two of their lives? It is so hard to believe he is one already. Happy Birthday little dude! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Amy DATE:Monday, January 26, 2009 at 5:09:00 PM EST Happy birthday, little man. It's been so fun watching you grow for the past year and nine months. Smooches! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous myrelish DATE:Monday, January 26, 2009 at 5:19:00 PM EST What a beautiful post about a wonderful little guy. Happy birthday Little Bird and congratulations to a beautiful family. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Susie DATE:Monday, January 26, 2009 at 6:47:00 PM EST Birthdays are as much for the parents to celebrate as the kids - you have made it! His second year will be so much fun:) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous No Minimom DATE:Monday, January 26, 2009 at 7:10:00 PM EST Happy Birthday, Little Bird!! You are such an adorable and sweet little guy! Have a wonderful birthday! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Anonymous DATE:Monday, January 26, 2009 at 8:59:00 PM EST The more he grows, the more you'll love him. It never stops.
Mom ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous @sweetbabboo DATE:Monday, January 26, 2009 at 9:11:00 PM EST A very happy birthday to you, Little Bird. The next year will be even more fun.

-abby ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Anonymous DATE:Monday, January 26, 2009 at 9:37:00 PM EST you are blessed! where has the year gone? he is adorable. continue to love him, he will be gone before you know it.
linda H ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Brenda DATE:Tuesday, January 27, 2009 at 7:49:00 PM EST A huge Happy Birthday to Little (Big) bird. A big hug to Mommy. It has been a great year keeping up with you from Mesa AZ. may this next year be filled with great things for you all. You are a blessing to your readers, Thank you, you make me smile. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Stimey DATE:Wednesday, January 28, 2009 at 12:38:00 PM EST Happy Birthday, Little Dude! It goes fast, huh? ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous TinaGirl DATE:Thursday, January 29, 2009 at 10:54:00 PM EST OMGoodness. he is so beautiful. Proof that time flies too fast. What a wonderful family you all have become. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Giveaway at Triangle Mamas DATE: 12/09/2008 01:10:00 PM ----- BODY:
Remember this song?

This week at Triangle Mamas, you can enter to win your own copy of the CD, Blue Ridge Reunion, and the book of watercolors of the North Carolina mountains that accompanies it.

I hope you will click over and enter to win!

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous prem DATE:Wednesday, December 10, 2008 at 2:34:00 AM EST Kudos !!! enjoyed reading your blog ,interesting posts. i like to be one of the blog lists in your blog mine is www.voilaprem.blogspot.com...by prem ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous toddlerplanet DATE:Friday, December 12, 2008 at 2:46:00 PM EST Hey. Welcome back. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Another Day DATE: 11/24/2008 11:05:00 AM ----- BODY:
I still come here and sit quietly. I walk through the pages feeling the chill of a home that has been locked up tight with sheets over the furniture, curtains drawn, and the heat turned down low.

There are emails that sit unanswered. Questions of how I am, what I'm doing, how is the baby. I don't respond.

There are friends I haven't visited. Comments left untyped. My silence has extended from this space into your spaces as well.

I miss you.

I miss this space.

It has been over two months since I left here. I don't think it was a wrong decision. Contrary to my husband's and Cliff's opinions, I don't think it was a defeated decision. It was simply what I felt was right. To say that I was "defeated" means that I was in battle with someone, which is absolutely not the case.

Closing down gave me the distance needed to figure out why I do this in the first place and consider if it is important enough to me to allow access to everyone.

Even people who need restraining orders taken out against them to learn some boundaries.

The answer, obviously, is yes. Yes, it is that important to me. I miss you, and I miss this space. When I visit your blogs now, I feel like the guest that shows up at your house and never a cake or a bottle of wine.

You've missed so much. I've missed recording so much. There is dancing and cruising across furniture. There are five teeth and first words. There is so much joy.

I'm sorry to have vanished like I did.

For all of those who said goodbye, and I am so grateful for all of the comments - I had no idea there were so many of you out there reading - for all of the goodbyes, I hope that you don't mind saying hello again.

I guess that made my previous post an interrupted cadence. A V-vi if you will.

Of course, this is what you've really missed - some pictures of the big guy.



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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Stella DATE:Monday, November 24, 2008 at 6:27:00 PM EST I so hope this means you're back!!!

I love the pictures...he looks GREAT!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Michelle Lynn DATE:Monday, November 24, 2008 at 6:31:00 PM EST Welcome back. You were missed. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous gail DATE:Monday, November 24, 2008 at 6:50:00 PM EST welcome back ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Nita DATE:Monday, November 24, 2008 at 6:52:00 PM EST Welcome Back. I missed you. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Daily Verses DATE:Monday, November 24, 2008 at 7:21:00 PM EST Yay! :-) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Susie DATE:Monday, November 24, 2008 at 7:38:00 PM EST I was hoping - with those hints you dropped here and there... Yay! So nice to have you home:) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous nikki DATE:Monday, November 24, 2008 at 8:27:00 PM EST Welcome back, Marty - glad I'm along for the ride this time. :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous FishyGirl DATE:Monday, November 24, 2008 at 8:47:00 PM EST Oh, yay, you're back! He's gotten so big. And adorable. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Two Lines On a Stick DATE:Monday, November 24, 2008 at 8:56:00 PM EST So glad you are back!!!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Becki DATE:Monday, November 24, 2008 at 9:24:00 PM EST Awesome!! Welcome back :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Kelly DATE:Monday, November 24, 2008 at 9:27:00 PM EST Yay! I'm so glad you are back!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous No Minimom DATE:Monday, November 24, 2008 at 9:42:00 PM EST Gorgeous Gerber baby! Glad to see you back! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous @sweetbabboo DATE:Monday, November 24, 2008 at 9:55:00 PM EST Yay! You were missed. Welcome home. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Jessica DATE:Monday, November 24, 2008 at 10:10:00 PM EST Welcome HOME Momma... ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous K DATE:Monday, November 24, 2008 at 11:51:00 PM EST I've kept you on my bloglines in the hope that maybe - just maybe -
So glad to see you and your adorable little guy! :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Amy DATE:Tuesday, November 25, 2008 at 6:59:00 AM EST YES YES YES!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Tuesday, November 25, 2008 at 1:54:00 PM EST Love and hugs to you. You have been missed. Great photos. You made me cry. Again. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Rachel DATE:Tuesday, November 25, 2008 at 5:36:00 PM EST I am so happy you are here. You never left my bloglines for a moment! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bobbie DATE:Tuesday, November 25, 2008 at 6:45:00 PM EST Welcome back! Bird looks more than two months older! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Fancy Pants DATE:Tuesday, November 25, 2008 at 9:56:00 PM EST Maybe this will stop the whining. Go Shamoopie go. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Anonymous DATE:Wednesday, November 26, 2008 at 12:04:00 PM EST I am glad you are back!! The baby is beautiful!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Candygirlflies DATE:Saturday, November 29, 2008 at 9:06:00 AM EST YOU'RE BACK!!!

I've missed you so...

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

CGF

ps. your boys are gorgeous, as are you, my friend. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Jennifer, Playgroups Are No Place For Children DATE:Saturday, November 29, 2008 at 10:13:00 PM EST Nice to see you back. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Jeanine DATE:Sunday, November 30, 2008 at 7:03:00 AM EST Ooooooh welcome back!!!!! I am so glad you are back! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Clifford DATE:Monday, December 1, 2008 at 6:26:00 PM EST Asses kicked. Names taken. Hall passes revoked. Welcome back M! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous spacemom DATE:Wednesday, December 3, 2008 at 2:06:00 PM EST welcome back! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous J from Ireland DATE:Tuesday, December 9, 2008 at 8:20:00 PM EST So glad your back. Your boy is just gorgeous, absolutly delicious. ----- --------