AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: It's only fun if you play too DATE: 6/17/2010 09:03:00 AM ----- BODY:

What's a girl to do when she's looking to regain her blogging mojo? Why, answer a list of random questions of course. Stolen from one of my most favorite bloggers, Miss Zoot, who stole it from someone else before herself. That's the way it works, you know.

30 Questions:

1. It’s 2AM and you are not home. You are more than likely:
Wishing I was at home and in the bed.

2. What’s the last thing you spent more than $100 on?
Not counting trips to the grocery store, I'm pretty sure that would be clothes for the boys. I have a slight Gymboree problem.

3. What do your bank checks look like?
Standard issue style from the bank. (Same answer as Zoot)

4. Where did the shirt you are currently wearing come from?
Swag from the music store where my ex-husband worked. Guitar strings.

5. Name something that will be on your Christmas wish list:
There are a couple of Anna Podris' paintings I've had my eye on for awhile. If they haven't been sold, I'll probably ask for one of those. Or, a more modest request would be a new Holly Aiken bag - one with the birds. I love those.

6. What color is your toothbrush?
White.

7. Name something you collect and tell us about it.
Local artists. I love to have original artwork in our home - especially that is created by North Carolina artists.

8. Last restaurant you ate at. Who were you with? How was it?
Torrero's with Kevin and the boys. It was fabulous. We hadn't eaten there in several months because of the whole no-dairy diet I've been on.

9. Who was the last person you bought a birthday card for?
My oldest nephew, Jacob. Unfortunately, it is still on my kitchen counter and his birthday was this past Monday. Even worse, my oldest niece's was in May, and I haven't sent hers either. I suck.

10. What is your worst bad habit?
Drinking waaaay too much diet coke. (Also Zoot's answer)

11. Name a magazine to which you subscribe?
Everyday Food

12. Your favorite pizza toppings?
Fake pepperoni, black olives, and mushrooms.

13. Whose number were you looking up the last time you used a phone book?
I think I was looking for a doctor in the Yellow Pages.

14. Other than family, who is the person that you love most?
That's a hard one, and kinda silly one. But I guess I could narrow it down to Susan.

15. What is the last thing you cooked?
Last night I made beer braised sausages and warm potato salad (from Everyday Food).

16. Name something you wouldn’t want to buy used?
Training potty

17. Which shoe do you put on first?
Maybe the left? That's the contact I put in first.

18. What is the last thing you remember losing?
Some LLL papers. But I found them this morning.

19. What is the ugliest piece of furniture in your house?
The cheap Target dresser in our room that I'm stuffing Colin's clothes in for now.

20. Last thing you bought and ended up returning?
Some pants for Colin.

21. What perfume/cologne do you wear? If none, why?
None right now because of the baby, but Kevin gave me some for Christmas a couple of years ago that I really like. I don't remember the name, but the bottle is plaid.

22. Your favorite board game?
I like Dominoes, but there's no board.

23. What was the last board game you played?
Card game, actually. BS with Mallory.

24. Where did your vehicle come from?
Smithfield. A Jeep dealer.

25. If a movie was made about your life what would the theme song be?
"Broken Things" by Julie Miller.

26. You’re sad, who can cheer you up easily?
It was always my granddaddy before he died. Now, it would be Kevin.

27. What was the color of the bridesmaid dresses of the last wedding you went to?
I have no idea. Black maybe?

28. What house cleaning chore do you hate to do the most?
Cleaning the blinds. So we didn't put them back up after the new windows went in. Ha.

29. What is your favorite way to eat chicken?
Fried, of course. With biscuits.

30. It is your birthday. You hope the cake is?
A mint chocolate chip log cake from Baskin Robbins. With lots of flowers and decorative icing. Yum.

Feel free to steal this too. Let me know if you do; I would love to read it.

Labels: My Life, Prompts, Random Thoughts

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

toddlerplanet DATE:Thursday, June 17, 2010 at 11:32:00 AM EDT Oooh, I'm tempted! Thanks for the shout-out -- you're mine too. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Andrea DATE:Sunday, June 20, 2010 at 9:36:00 PM EDT I feel like 70% of your answers could have been my own! Thanks for doing the hard work for me haha :-) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

LimboDad DATE:Thursday, June 24, 2010 at 9:14:00 PM EDT Done ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Marty, a.k.a. canape DATE:Friday, June 25, 2010 at 9:42:00 AM EDT Dang. LimboDad - I can't see your profile or reply back via email to your comment. I would love a link to your blog! ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Honest crap. I mean, scrap. DATE: 11/10/2009 07:00:00 AM ----- BODY:

Another thing I have time for in the month of blog everyday is award memes. I had stopped doing them not because I'm completely ungrateful, but because I had become a lazy, time restricted blogger. I should have taken up Stimey's lead and just made up my own catch all award and written something funny and self deprecating, but I was too lazy to even do that.

Never fear, though, blog everyday this month, month, is here.

My across the street neighbor is also a blogger. When Kevin and I were thinking of moving, I tried really hard not to get to know her because I knew I was going to like her so much, and it would suck moving away. Ha ha on me - we got to stay put, meaning I wasted a bunch of time not hanging out with her and becoming cooler via osmosis.

She graciously bestowed upon me the Honest Scrap award. Instead of being an ungracious slob, I'm supposed to do these things:

1) Say thanks and give a link to the presenter of the award.
Thanks, Cyndi! I'm hoping lots of people (you know, all 13 who read this) go on over and pay you a well deserved visit. they will be glad they did.

2) Share "10 Honest Things" about myself.
I'll get to that in a minute.

3) Present this award to 7 others whose blogs I find brilliant in content and/or design, or those who have encouraged me. That's hard, because I'm going to leave someone out which is another reason I have been slack on responding. Guilt. But here goes:

Fertile Mertile ~ She's BAAAAAACK!
Stimey ~ Because she's the most hilarious ever, I love her, and I could possibly receive one of her handmade buttons about not posting buttons.
Abby ~ For giving me things to do with my toddler and being a great friend.
JC and Tara ~ my preggo buddies
Momma ~ Why not? She's my momma, and my momma rocks.
Amo ~ Because she's the world's greatest commenter and has an adorable kiddo. Go see.

4) Tell those 7 people they've been awarded HONEST SCRAP and inform them of these guidelines in receiving. I hope they are checking their stats for links, because I'm not sure I have the stamina to do much more. Again with the lazy.

Alrighty then. Ten honest things. As if I haven't spilled enough into this space over the past three years as it is. I'll try not to repeat myself, but remember, you're getting what you pay for.

The construction at my home is driving me batshit crazy. I've tried not to let it, but as of today, I'm admitting defeat.
Some days I let Little Bird watch a little more TV just because he's sitting with me on the couch in a perfect snuggle position.
I don't like vegetables when I'm pregnant.
I have drank more Diet Coke than I should have this pregnancy. Fountain ones from McDonald's. They are the best, you know.
I'm almost 200 pounds and still have 10 weeks to go. Oy.
I don't practice anymore. Or rarely.
I hate musicals.
Most of my dreams lately have had me starring in them as a tall, skinny, shiny haired brunette with much smaller boobs. Not hard to read into that one.
Right now I'm glad this is my last pregnancy.
I miss my Daddy. The way he used to be.

So there you have it. It's only day 10 too. Aren't you loving the month of November?

Labels: Blogging Babes, Friends, Prompts

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Daily Verses DATE:Tuesday, November 10, 2009 at 8:54:00 AM EST Why thank you kindly, ma'am. And I also let Goov watch too much tv as he likes to lay with me on the sofa. I don't think it's so bad- after all, his days as my baby are numbered. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

pastormargaret DATE:Tuesday, November 10, 2009 at 9:39:00 AM EST I love you the way you are and I miss your daddy the same way! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Amy DATE:Tuesday, November 10, 2009 at 9:20:00 PM EST How do you only have ten weeks left?! Wow, that was fast. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

gail DATE:Wednesday, November 11, 2009 at 7:29:00 PM EST Thanks man. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

人妻 DATE:Saturday, November 28, 2009 at 11:22:00 AM EST Hな人妻たちの社交場、割り切った付き合いも当然OK！欲求不満のエロ人妻たちを好みに合わせてご紹介します。即会い、幼な妻、セレブ、熟女、SM妻、秘密、以上6つのジャンルから遊んでみたい女性を選んでください ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

サイドビジネス DATE:Sunday, November 29, 2009 at 10:27:00 AM EST 1日5万円～が手に入るサイドビジネスのご案内です。男狂いのセレブ女性はネットで知り合った男を次々に金の力で食い散らかしています。そんな女性を手玉にとって大金を稼いでみませんか ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Hチェッカー DATE:Monday, November 30, 2009 at 11:11:00 AM EST みんなで楽しめるHチェッカー！簡単な設問に答えるだけであなたの隠されたH度数がわかっちゃいます！あの人のムッツリ度もバレちゃう診断を今すぐ試してみよう ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

家出 DATE:Tuesday, December 1, 2009 at 12:16:00 PM EST 最近流行の家出掲示板では、各地のネットカフェ等を泊り歩いている家出少女のメッセージが多数書き込みされています。彼女たちはお金がないので掲示板で知り合った男性の家にでもすぐに泊まりに行くようです。あなたも書き込みに返事を返してみませんか ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

高収入アルバイト DATE:Wednesday, December 2, 2009 at 11:33:00 AM EST 性欲を持て余し、欲求不満になっている女性を金銭の対価を得て、癒して差し上げるお仕事です。参加にあたり用紙、学歴等は一切問いません。高収入アルバイトに興味のある方はぜひどうぞ ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

高級チェリー DATE:Thursday, December 3, 2009 at 11:46:00 AM EST 童貞を奪ってみたい女性たちは、男性にとって「初体験」という一生に一度だけの、特別なイベントを共に心に刻み込むことを至上の喜びにしているのです。そんな童貞好きな女性たちと高級チェリーで最高のSEXをしてみませんか ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

困っています。 DATE:Friday, December 4, 2009 at 10:37:00 AM EST 最近寂しくて困っています。夜一人で寝るのが凄く寂しいです…隣で添い寝してくれる男性いませんか？見た目とか特に気にしません。優しくて一緒にいてくれる方大歓迎☆一緒に布団で温まりましょう♪shart.enamorado.de-me@docomo.ne.jp ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

副収入 DATE:Saturday, December 5, 2009 at 10:53:00 AM EST 一晩の割り切ったお付き合いで副収入が得られるサイトのご案内です。アルバイト感覚での挑戦もできる、安心の無料登録システムを採用しておりますので、興味のある方は当サイトをぜひご覧ください ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

スタービーチ DATE:Sunday, December 6, 2009 at 9:56:00 AM EST 復活、スタービーチ！日本最大の友達探しサイトがついに復活、進化を遂げた新生スタビをやってみませんか？理想のパートナー探しの手助け、合コンパーティー等も随時開催しています。楽しかった頃のスタビを体験しよう ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: One day, no hate DATE: 10/06/2009 08:00:00 AM ----- BODY:

I don't talk politics very often. For good reason, too. I don't know politics. To be able to discuss politics means that you have taken the time to find out facts from an unbiased source, and these days, that is increasingly difficult to do.

The talking heads cloud the issues. I don't enjoy the rhetoric.

But today, Corina has suggested we talk openly, without hate. It's a good thing to do everyday, but I usually choose to just not talk because you never know who is listening and what they are going to give back at you.

So here goes. A few of my opinions.

I believe that health care in America is broken and needs to be fixed. There are ideas from both sides of the issue that I think are good ideas, and I think that when reform begins, it is just that - a beginning. I think that reform will need to evolve over time, but that it is time to start now.

I believe that government shouldn't be small in one area in large in another. If you want government to tell people who can and cannot get married, then you are asking for license for them to dictate a lot more.

I believe that taxes are necessary, but wish that they were used more wisely. The government could use to get back to some of its Presbyterian roots and revisit the idea of stewardship.

I believe that it's beyond time to bring our men and women home from an unproductive war.

I believe that education is in crisis in our country and am nervous about my child turning five and starting public school.

So there. That's five things that could be controversial, or not. If you disagree with any of them, feel free to tell me so today. It's a day to disagree without hate and learn more about those who might disagree with you. So go forth and be kind, how's about it?

Labels: Blogging Babes, Prompts

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Barry Darnell DATE:Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 9:49:00 AM EDT Beautiful post, Marty! You do not have to know much about politics to voice your opinions and concerns as a Mom (and I, as a Dad) about the future of our country.

The thing that I love is the way you spoke clearly and concisely to each issue without rancor or name-calling or bringing personalities into mix.

As I've said before, I would like a political truce, please! I am sick of all the anger and ask people to have respectful, intellectually honest discussions.

To oversimplify: The Left likes government solutions. The Right does not. Neither side has anything but America's best interests at heart. Let us stop impugning the motives and character of those who prefer a different approach from us.

Let's go forward trying to discuss a policy issue, one at a time, until we reach some sort of understanding, even if it's "agree to disagree"? ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Barry Darnell DATE:Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 10:17:00 AM EDT One more thing:

I have been saddened by the way political enemies have not just disagreed or even poked fun at, but tried to destroy the likes of Robert Bork, Ted Kennedy, Clarence Thomas, Billy Carter, Ronald Reagan, George HW Bush, Bill & Hillary Clinton, George W Bush, Dick Cheney, Joe The Plumber, Sarah Palin and Barack Obama. The hate and despicible rhetoric comes from both sides and engenders a, "They started it!" from those who justify continuing that sort of behavior. I'm calling on all good people to do what my mother would say, "I'm ENDING it!"

Love to all. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Amo DATE:Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 12:11:00 PM EDT I agree with everything you have said! The health care issue is very close to my heart b/c we can't afford it for all three family members. The cost is ridiculous. Health care is definitely broken beyond belief. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Convertible Girl DATE:Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 7:56:00 PM EDT We have a lot in common at every point, including a general aversion to talking/writing politics. Thanks for posting. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Ilina DATE:Wednesday, October 7, 2009 at 8:27:00 PM EDT I agree with every single word. Hear! Hear! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Geezees Custom Canvas Art DATE:Thursday, October 8, 2009 at 3:07:00 PM EDT Thanks for posting this! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Susie DATE:Saturday, October 10, 2009 at 7:26:00 PM EDT Yes, yes, yes, uh huh, and yup. And I agree with Barry - that just toting the party line on an issue will never actually solve anything. Time to stop talking and start breaking each issue down into what's best for EVERYONE. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Vanity's Fare DATE:Tuesday, October 13, 2009 at 9:56:00 AM EDT Glad you brought it up. I'm just hating the hate. Seriously, I think it makes me depressed...not in an abstract way, but directly depressed. All this mean, bitter hate is awful.

Thanks for bringing this up and getting people to think. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: 15 years in a nutshell DATE: 6/12/2008 09:01:00 PM ----- BODY:

I connected with an old friend via email this week. The first email was short and sweet; about five lines stating "married with baby." Just the basics.

After the green light email back, letting me know that the connection wasn't unwanted, I wrote a longer email with more details.

It took me awhile.

As I sat there composing my easy-breezy letter to this old friend, I started over analyzing things. I started wondering if I was telling the right snippets of information about my life since we last spoke.

How exactly do you summarize the last 15 years of your life?

Upon further reflection, I wish I had just sent a list. Something like this:

1. Graduated from college, moved to Raleigh, wasted a good bit of my 20's.
2. Got married for lack of a better idea, divorced seven years later.
3. Was not and will never be a rock star no matter how hard I tried. And no, you may not hear the CD.
4. Love dogs like a crazy woman.
5. Play piano, teach piano, write for piano. Sing when asked.
6. Tried to save all the children with a non-profit music school for low-income families.
7. Admitted I'm not really blonde. Am now a brunette. Mostly.
8. Got married again for the right reasons this time.
9. My parents are hanging in there, but have health problems. My brother has a wonderful wife and 5 kiddos.
10. Christopher was born on January 26, 2008, finally making me a mom. Most everything else I would have to say involves him. Four months out of 15 years are just about all I want to talk about.

The more I thought about it, the more I thought this would make an excellent meme. So I'm making one up. Drunk with power, I am.

Our new meme should have a name. I think I'll call it the 15 Years in a Nutshell meme. Because that's not a stupid name or anything.

If you are so inclined to play along with me, then here's the deal. Think back on the last 15 years of your life. What would you tell someone that you hadn't seen or talked to for 15 years? How would you sum up your life?

You get 10 bullet points. A list of 10 things to summarize you. At the end of your list, tag 5 more people and send on the love.

I'm tagging:

Bubblewench, because I think she has a fascinating history.

Susie, because I just started reading her blog and this would be a rather subtle way of being nosy and learning more about her. Well, it would have been if I hadn't just put it out there like that.

KD, because she is the meme queen.

Jill, because I've been picking up on some interesting tidbits in her life here and there.

Guy, because he needs something to write about besides the damn Alltel wizard, and because I'm actually curious as to what he would pick out for his list.

Y'all play nice, hear?

Labels: My Life, Prompts

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Becki DATE:Thursday, June 12, 2008 at 9:56:00 PM EDT Interesting...I know what you mean about all the meaty stuff now being 'after the baby.' All I'd want to tell about would be Maggie! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Bubblewench DATE:Thursday, June 12, 2008 at 10:08:00 PM EDT Oh, I'll play nice.. damn you pegged that.. fascinating is a word I use daily to describe it to myself..well, ONE of the words!

I really want to see Guy's though.. #1.. The Alltell Wizard and I were college roomates.. he could do a beer bong better then I. #2..The Alltell Wizard introduced me to his Adams Family member cousin. #3... Alltell Wizard introduced me to his piano playing distant as is kinda not really related thank god, other cousin. She was WAY cooler then first cousin..

Ok, Guy, the rest is up to you and mine will be up this weekend...

Canape.. I'll totally have this one up by Sunday. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Fancy Pants DATE:Thursday, June 12, 2008 at 10:23:00 PM EDT You forgot #4---where the Alltel Wizard shows you how to pickup chicks at your family reunion! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

whymommy DATE:Friday, June 13, 2008 at 9:38:00 AM EDT I'm doing it. Because I need something else to write about. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Daily Verses DATE:Saturday, June 14, 2008 at 10:29:00 PM EDT Thanks, Canape. I really appreciate your sweet comment on my list. And thanks for tagging me! This was fun. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

No Minimom DATE:Sunday, June 15, 2008 at 11:42:00 AM EDT Holy crap! That's a tough one. 15 years ago puts me at 17. I'll have to give it a try, but a lot has happened in that time! ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Seven and five memes DATE: 1/02/2008 09:19:00 AM ----- BODY:

I'm not a resolution maker. However, having finally caught up on my blog reading even if I had to skim some, I would like to stay more up to date with things and the people I care about in this community.

That includes answering memes and awards in a timely fashion. I've been a rude blogger lately, and that is going to change.

I don't promise though, that I won't cheat and do two memes in one post. Heh.

Emily, the fantabulous editor of Props and Pans and author of Fenicle, tagged me for a seven random facts meme. I've been tagged for this before, but we know what happened there. I was just rude. Sorry about that.

1. I have expensive tastes and a tight wallet. The two contradict each other all the time. Consequently, I would rather have one pair of expensive jeans that fit really well than 5 pairs of cheapo's that don't. On the other hand, nothing gets me more stoked than a good bargain.

2. I have never liked the way I look more than I do now while I'm pregnant.

3. Dogs like me.

4. Cameras don't.

5. I would rather have a bare wall than hang something on it that wasn't made by an artist. Preferably one I have met.

6. There's an unworn wedding dress hanging in my guest bedroom.

7. I love whole milk.

I'm tagging, well, I think most everyone I know has been tagged for this, but I can't remember. I'll tag, and if you've done it, don't feel like you have to repeat it. Kimmie, because she needs a distraction. Amy, because she doesn't need a distraction, but I figure she has learned a lot about herself lately. How about another fellow preggo at The Vessel? It's not seven, but it's the best I can do right now. If you ladies care to play along, just link back to here, list your 7 random things, and then tag seven additional bloggers. Let them know by leaving them a comment. Or cheat and just tag three.

The next meme is from Imstell. Here are the rules:

************

Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog.

Share 5 random and/or weird facts about yourself on your blog. or

Share the 5 top places on your "want to see or want to see again" list. or

Share 5 things you never pictured being in your future when your were 25 years old.

Tag a minimum of 5, maximum of 10 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.

Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

The tagees have a choice of which they want to do.

************

I'm choosing the 5 things I never pictured being in my future when I was 25 years old.

1. Being pregnant.
2. Being a part-time stay at home mom.
3. Being married to a man who lights my fire.
4. Never pictured my daddy as someone who would need such care so early in his life.
5. Wouldn't have thought the recording and performing I do would be in the new age genre rather than the rock genre.

For this, I tag Whymommy, Girl, Bubblewench, the most awesome Hat Maker ever, and Tara.

Amen. Thus endeth the memes.

Labels: Blogging Babes, My Life, Prompts

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Paige Jennifer DATE:Wednesday, January 2, 2008 at 2:04:00 PM EST Dogs love me too! But cats? Yeah, we have a mutual hate (insert growl here). ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

FENICLE DATE:Wednesday, January 2, 2008 at 8:52:00 PM EST Thanks for doing the meme. I'm awful at getting them done as well.

I'm with you on the jeans. One expensive pair is worth a million ones that don't fit good! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

moosh in indy. DATE:Wednesday, January 2, 2008 at 9:04:00 PM EST I'll bet your are a fine piece of pregnant hotness.
I however, adore cats and cats love me.
Dogs, not really. No thank you. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Jennie DATE:Thursday, January 3, 2008 at 7:48:00 AM EST I'm so with you on #1, my friend. It's a constant balancing act ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Bubblewench DATE:Thursday, January 3, 2008 at 1:24:00 PM EST Interesting... very interesting...

I'll get to it... eventually!

Isn't there a saying about your #1 from Emily - "Champagne tastes on a beer budget." That sort of explains the PBR... ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Bubblewench DATE:Tuesday, January 8, 2008 at 7:36:00 AM EST I'm doing this today.. working on it now. (7:30am Tuesday) ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: V-Day, D-Day DATE: 2/13/2007 11:23:00 PM ----- BODY:

From the folks over at TheGoodBlogs, comes the inspiration to tell you all the story of Valentine's Day, 2005. If you can top this, or even come close, please let me know. It would be nice to share a bit of horrid Valentine's memories with you all.

February 14, 2005

I was not married to Guy. I didn't even really like Guy that much at the time. He was alright, but I found him to be a little pushy and he liked to hear himself talk. Oooo, how wrong I was. Those are traits I misjudged and love now. That is so not the story for today though.

On Valentine's Day, 2005, I gave my first husband the boot. Pack your bags and hit the road, buddy. I have had enough and I can't take no more.

To a lot of our friends, who remain his friends for this reason, this decision seemed rash and out of the blue. To the ones who remain my friends, let's just say they could see the bigger picture. I use the plural of friends quite liberally there, by the way.

People change. Normal healthy people change. It's usually called growth. Every year, we both got older, and every year, I kept waiting for him to grow. He is a smart guy and a dreamer, but there was absolutely no motivation. No growth. All the therapy and self help books in the world will probably never change that.

Without getting into the boring details and completely defacing my Kind Blog button, I will say this. There was promise after promise made. Plan after plan. Goal after goal. And every time, I ran for the goals, watching as the finish line crept further and further away in the distance. Even after he had a Master's degree and the student loans to show for it, there was no job. Even after the 2 years of taking prerequisites for nursing school, there was no nursing school. Even after the 4 years of trying to start a family, there was no family.

Finally, on Valentine's Day, I broke.

It was harder than I let people know about. I didn't hate him. In fact, I still laugh at things he said or did, and have many more pleasant stories of him than not. What I did hate was my life with him. My father described it as having an anvil tied around my neck while I was trying to swim.

It was harder than people wanted to know about too. My ex is everybody's favorite guy. He is always there when they need him. He is thoughtful and quirky. He remembers your kid's birthday. He remembers your birthday. He listens to your advice and pretends he is going to take it, making you feel smart and worthwhile. He makes a fanfreakingtastic victim.

Which leaves me on the other side.

Anyway, I'm venturing off topic here. Valentine's Day. I'm talking about Valentine's Day.

I had finally decided, (and it was just me, even though I thought it was we) that instead of adopting, we should look at getting a sperm donor. Appointments were made, research was done, and his role was to make sure that I had maternity coverage on our insurance.

One phone call. That was all he had to do.

On Valentine's Day, 2005, I called the insurance company for them to fax over the specifics of our infertility coverage for my appointment later that week. She said she would, but was I aware that I had no maternity coverage?

No. I wasn't.

Can I please add it?

No. You can't. Not until next January.

It was like someone finally turned on the light in the room and I looked around, just noticing that I had been trying to work in the dark all those years. Just one flick of a switch.

The ex had made us dinner reservations at my favorite restaurant for that evening. Which is funny to me since he had no way to pay for it other than a credit card. Which is essentially having no way to pay for it.

First I calmly the restaurant and cancelled our reservations.

Then I got up, shut the door to my office, and dialed my ex. He was his usual bubbly self. He asked about dinner that evening and I told him I cancelled the reservations. He wanted to know why.

Because I don't want to be with you anymore.

That was it. Period. The end of a marriage.

We met for dinner in a week to see if he could move back in, and we could work on things. Unfortunately, that week was the best week of my adult life that far. My mind was made up.

It was time to close that chapter and hope that life had more to offer than disappointment.

Two short years later, I am sitting here typing this entry while Guy is singing "Roxanne" in the style of some Cuban Muppet from the shower upstairs. Disappointments come in the form of illness, miscarriage, and lay off's. Things that just happen in life, not things that you can avoid. And I have Guy to weather them with. A partner and friend. And since it's Valentine's Day, I should throw in that he's a damn good lover.

So was 2005 the worst Valentine's Day ever? Maybe. But I wouldn't change it for the world.

my worst valentine date

Labels: My Life, Prompts

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Mamma DATE:Tuesday, February 13, 2007 at 11:38:00 PM EST Wow!! How brave to see what you needed to do and actually do it!

Happy Valentine's Day!!

I posted the meme by the way. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

whymommy DATE:Wednesday, February 14, 2007 at 1:34:00 AM EST "Like I had been trying to work in the dark for all those years."

Nailed. It.

Nicely done. The decision, the execution, the writing, and the addition of the muppet singing from upstairs. He loves you ... and I do too!

Happy V-day, Canape! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Sarah DATE:Wednesday, February 14, 2007 at 8:17:00 AM EST What a story--thank you for sharing it. And happy Valentine's Day. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Oh, The Joys DATE:Wednesday, February 14, 2007 at 8:39:00 AM EST I think it might be the best day to have done it. V Day is silly. Pressure to EMOTE about something that you're supposed to do every day, all the time. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

IzzyMom DATE:Wednesday, February 14, 2007 at 12:43:00 PM EST Good for you for being brave and having the courage to move on & find the life you wanted. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Steven DATE:Wednesday, February 14, 2007 at 5:12:00 PM EST Cuban Muppet...Roxanne....

Yep...I'm gonna have nightmares about that one. ;)

Steve~ ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

FENICLE DATE:Thursday, February 15, 2007 at 6:11:00 AM EST I can't imagine how difficult that decision was for you, but I'm glad to hear you that you're finally getting what you want out of your life!! What an inspiration. I posted about Valentine's yesterday too. Good topic! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

gail DATE:Thursday, February 15, 2007 at 9:14:00 AM EST Goodness, I think I need your address, you win the crown. ----- --------