AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Starting DATE: 12/31/2009 07:52:00 PM ----- BODY:

Kevin has declared 2009 the year in which nothing was finished. My new shiny outlook gets to declare 2009 the year in which many things began.

Either way, we still have major construction going on at our house.

It's going to be lovely when it's done.

That's my mantra. I say it three times as I breath slowly and stare out the back into the mud and mess. Really, it's not that bad. It is going to be lovely, and Rob, our contractor, is an amazing miracle worker. Truly.

2010 will be the year for finishing a lot of thing though. The house will get finished. Our family will be complete. Kevin will finish up a lot of lingering projects at work. He's really looking forward to it.

I'm okay with not being finished though. I'm kind of looking forward to starting a bunch more new things in 2010. Here are a few that come to mind:

1. Becoming a mama of two boys.
2. Learning to live without the extreme highs and lows I've had.
3. Tandem nursing.
4. Writing and recording again finally.
5. Getting back in shape.

Lovely will be starting high school. Little Bird will be starting multiple days of preschool. And my littlest boy will be starting life.

So here's to never completely finishing and finding plenty of new things to start in 2010.

Happy New Year, everyone.

Labels: Bird, Butterbean, Family, Guy and Me, Holidays, House, Lovely, My Life, Renovations, Warm Fuzzies

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whymommy DATE:Friday, January 1, 2010 at 7:17:00 AM EST Happy New Year! I love your new outlook! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Amo DATE:Friday, January 1, 2010 at 5:12:00 PM EST Yes, here's to having lots of projects and purpose this year! May it be peaceful and prosperous for us all! I can't wait to read about your little one! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Stella DATE:Friday, January 1, 2010 at 8:54:00 PM EST Happy New Year! Here's to new beginnings!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Stimey DATE:Saturday, January 2, 2010 at 6:31:00 PM EST What a fantastic way to look at it. Happy New Year!!

I can't wait to hear about the tandem nursing! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Melissa DATE:Saturday, January 2, 2010 at 10:37:00 PM EST I look forward to seeing what happens with your "new things" for 2010... especially since we share #1 and #5 together! Don't you just love the start of a new decade?! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Bubblewench DATE:Tuesday, January 5, 2010 at 10:37:00 AM EST Happy New Year! Lots of good things and good beginnings to 2010! ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: So it's not a tradition. That's alright. DATE: 12/13/2009 07:58:00 PM ----- BODY:

I love traditions. I especially love long time traditions, but I'll take the new ones too. This time of year is full of traditions, and having children makes me want to establish even more.

Last year, Lovely and I took Bird to see Santa. She is such a good sport, and even sat on Santa's lap with her little brother. While we were waiting for Santa to finish his lunch break, we went to Build-a-Bear and got reindeer with twinkling lights on their antlers. It was a really fun afternoon, and I declared it a tradition.

Today, we attempted the second year of this tradition and included Kevin. Can I just say that doing this on a Sunday close to Christmas was not a great idea? Plus, it was Bird's first outing since he's been sick, and he got tired pretty quickly.

When we arrived at Santa's lair, the line wound all the way around, and Santa was nowhere to be seen. I'm not sure how I'm so adept at showing up when he goes on break.

So we decided to go to Build-a-Bear first. I'm pretty sure that a good time was had by all, which is good, since we went back to an even longer line at Santa and went home with no pictures. Lucky for us, Santa is going to the Great Wolf Lodge at the exact same time we are! I think we'll just wait for our pictures then. I declare the mall off limits from now until January.

Labels: Bird, Family, Holidays, Lovely

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Anonymous DATE:Monday, December 14, 2009 at 5:43:00 PM EST I think he looks like that Uncle if his on the Suttle side. Clyo Flash ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Stimey DATE:Wednesday, December 16, 2009 at 1:21:00 AM EST He's so cute with that bear. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Tree day DATE: 11/27/2009 10:23:00 PM ----- BODY:

And so it is written: one day is turkey day, and the next day is tree day. Amen.

There was a whole lot of chasing in and out of the trees. Thank goodness Lovely was with us.

There was some joyful merry-go-round riding. Again, compliments of his big sister.

Wagoner's wants us to have a "treemendous" holiday season. I'm just sharing how "treemendously" huge I've become.

Lovely caught this shot of her daddy taking the second tree off the roof of the Jeep.

Little Bird was much more intersted in taking the ornaments off the tree at first, but his big sister was patient with him. She kept putting them back and showing him how.

He just about got the hang of it, but in the end, he thought it was much more fun to just get them from Mama and take them to Sister until she had a huge handful all at once. Heh.

We almost finished this one. It needs a topper, and I'm going to have to make something. I don't know what we've been putting on top of our multi-colored tree, but I can't find anything among our Christmas things, so I guess I'm going to get crafty. Because I refuse to go buy decorations at full price before Christmas. The world would stop on its axis for sure.

This is our smaller tree in the living room - the blue and silver tree. Not a great picture; maybe I'll try again when there is daylight coming in. It's good enough to see that Kevin wasn't smiling when he put the star on. Anyone knows that if you don't smile when you put the star on top that it will be crooked. We'll have to work on that tomorrow. I think I've squeezed enough Christmas cheer out of him for one day though.

Labels: Bird, Family, Holidays, Lovely

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Anonymous DATE:Saturday, November 28, 2009 at 7:31:00 AM EST Your Great Aunt May use to make a Star from a tin pie plate. That was before your were born. Clyo Flash ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Ilina DATE:Monday, November 30, 2009 at 10:04:00 PM EST You are killing me. Can I just come to your house for the holidays? My house and tree (note the use of SINGULAR here) won't look so good. ;-) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Issas Crazy World DATE:Tuesday, December 1, 2009 at 12:15:00 PM EST Oh your tree is so pretty. I have no idea when we will even get ours.

Where did you get that awesome shirt that Bird is wearing? I love it. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Big sisters are awesome DATE: 11/05/2009 07:00:00 AM ----- BODY:

Little Bird's big sister is 13. You wouldn't know it by hanging out with her - at least, not in the stereotypical 13 year old girl way. She is rarely moody, does what she is asked, and loves to spend time with her little brother. We really couldn't ask for more.

I was surprised that she didn't ask to do anything with her friends for Halloween. I asked her if they were getting together or having a party or anything. She rattled off different plans that they all had, but didn't mention missing out on anything. Hadn't she wanted to go do something with them on Halloween?

"No," she said. "I wanted to go trick-or-treating with Bird."

Cue me melting into a gooey mess of warm fuzzies.

They are two peas in a pod. Just so you can get a small glimpse of the joy my wonderful children fill this house with, here is a video of them pretending to eat their daddy's feet. The laughter is beyond contagious.

Labels: Bird, Family, Lovely, Warm Fuzzies

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slouchy DATE:Thursday, November 5, 2009 at 7:30:00 AM EST unbelievably cute! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Daily Verses DATE:Thursday, November 5, 2009 at 8:03:00 AM EST Not only is that adorable, but Bird talks so much! He has grown up a lot since I last saw him. What a little cutie pie. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Michelle Lynn DATE:Thursday, November 5, 2009 at 1:08:00 PM EST sweetest thing ever! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

No Minimom DATE:Thursday, November 5, 2009 at 7:10:00 PM EST I love how near the end he starts anticipating her "Ready?". SO so cute! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Jenn DATE:Monday, November 9, 2009 at 1:01:00 AM EST Ahhh....sweet! Your family is beautiful! ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: 667 DATE: 9/10/2009 10:41:00 PM ----- BODY:

This is just because I like it. And also because I couldn't shut down with 666 posts on my blog.

Lovely and Bird, each the president of the other's fan club. It's awesome.

Labels: Bird, Family, Lovely

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Amo DATE:Thursday, September 10, 2009 at 11:57:00 PM EDT What a sweet picture! Love it! He looks so cozy in her arms. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

whymommy DATE:Friday, September 11, 2009 at 10:18:00 AM EDT Lovely indeed. You have a wonderful, wonderful family. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Bubblewench DATE:Thursday, September 24, 2009 at 8:18:00 AM EDT How sweet. They are both so lovely! Adorable! ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Snapshot. DATE: 8/16/2009 11:32:00 AM ----- BODY:

Because I don't want to forget this moment . . .

I'm sitting in the living room watching my children play. Lovely is shaking her hair and hands at Little Bird while he lays on the floor, laughing until his mouth is just open with no sound coming out. That laugh of so much joy that he can't get anymore out.

They occasionally stop to hug, but mainly it is just play play play. Almost every toy has been emptied from the basket. Bird has spun in a circle until he falls down, just to make Lovely laugh some more.

For this, we skipped church, and I'm so glad we did.

Labels: Bird, Lovely

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No Minimom DATE:Sunday, August 16, 2009 at 1:36:00 PM EDT That's just awesome. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Jill DATE:Sunday, August 16, 2009 at 8:55:00 PM EDT Love those moments! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Amo DATE:Monday, August 17, 2009 at 8:55:00 PM EDT Oh, how sweet...definitely worth skipping church! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Bubblewench DATE:Tuesday, August 18, 2009 at 1:56:00 PM EDT sounds like a perfect moment to me ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Little Bird's best friend DATE: 7/20/2009 02:26:00 PM ----- BODY:

This week isn't going to be as much fun for Little Bird as last week was. Last week, his big sister was tracked out of school and was home with us. Bird was in heaven.

Lovely was a fabulous dance partner, a wonderful audience, a master storyteller, a patient art instructor, and an energetic outdoor companion. We played with trains and blocks, his farm set and balls. It was a week long fun fest at our house.

Today, Lovely went back to her mother's, and Bird stood at the door watching her leave with her daddy. I thought it would tearful, as every time she left the room last week, he cried for her, but he was alright. He waved and gave her one of his sweet, multisyllabic Bye's as she walked to the car.

As an only child for 11 years, Lovely has taken on the role of big sister like a champ. She has been unselfish with her toys, her time, and her daddy. It is quite impressive. She is quite impressive.

One afternoon last week, Kevin came home early from work to stay with Bird so that Lovely and I could go see the new Harry Potter movie. We both reread the sixth book before the movie - Lovely, because that is what she does, and me, because I wanted to be able to keep up with the conversation after the movie. We also watched Freaks and Geeks together over her break. I considered it an important part of her pop culture edumacation.

I guess it's safe to say that my week isn't going to be as much either. She is just as good of a stepdaughter as she is a big sister.

Labels: Bird, Family, Lovely

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nikki DATE:Monday, July 20, 2009 at 4:22:00 PM EDT That is wonderful that Lovely and Little Bird are so close. After that many years as an only, it must have been strange for her, but probably awesome too. (I always wanted a sibling.) I'm sorry she's left; I know you'll all miss her! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Bubblewench DATE:Tuesday, July 21, 2009 at 7:56:00 AM EDT I'm glad you had such a great week with Lovely and that her & LB get along so well. It's so sweet. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

JessicaAPISS DATE:Tuesday, July 21, 2009 at 3:54:00 PM EDT I'm a stepdaughter myself, so this post just made me cry.

Thank you for your love - what a great family! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Susie DATE:Tuesday, July 21, 2009 at 6:28:00 PM EDT I love Freaks and Geeks - next time, you two should watch My So Called Life.

Bird is so lucky to have such an adoring sister - mutual sweetness! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Becki DATE:Friday, July 24, 2009 at 9:46:00 AM EDT Awww...glad it was such a super week. That is a very sweet picture of them together :) They both look quite content. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: What I can tell you DATE: 4/25/2009 10:45:00 PM ----- BODY:

I can't tell you a thing about last night, because I'm a member of the BlogHer ad network. Even though they only send me about $20 every six months, I still like being a part. It's not about the money, it's about belonging to the most amazing group of women bloggers online. They do have their rules though, and one of them is that I'm not supposed to blog about anything that I receive in which the value is over $40.

So I can't talk about last night, but I can talk about today after 11:00 AM, because we totally paid for that ourselves.

We are at the new Great Wolf Lodge in Concord, NC. Their amazing marketing team blitzed the Triangle region a couple of months ago, and I was hooked. Granted, I am a marketing person's wet dream (remember the Cindy Crawford skincare? Totally bought it and love it), but just in general, their marketing is great.

It's so good, that before I had been here or knew I was coming, I recommended it to a friend. She checked out the website and brought her family. Boom. Marketing circle complete.

I tried to book us a trip for when Lovely was tracked out, but Kevin's work . . . blah blah blah. He hasn't had a moment to take off before April 23, so we were stuck at home for track out, but here we are now.

Really though, it's not like me to want to go to the theme park and "join in." I'm a lapsed rock star, remember? I'm not really a "mommy" in so many words, and I'm far too cool to follow the masses to a waterpark.

Insert large amounts of laughter here.

I'm totally buying the whole kit and kaboodle. Why? Because my kids are having a blast. While my husband and I sit up on our dueling laptops, our kids are Passed Out Cold. Lovely and her daddy rode water slides all afternoon while Little Bird and I hung out in the wave pool and kiddie splash area. We would meet up, smile a lot, and get back to business. If Little Bird watched the giant bucket fill up with water and tump over on people once? He watched it a million times. Loved it.

Yeah, it's a little cliche. Yeah, it's a little cheesy. But only if you are too cool for your own good.

Past the cheese and cliche is a really nice place to bring your family. I mean super incredibly nice. Like worth every penny nice. I know this because of the people I met and the attention to detail they have shown. But getting into that part won't happen here; it will happen at Triangle Mamas after I'm home and have a moment to do them justice.

This trip though, this little weekend getaway, has proven once again that I am Mama first. Bring on the family entertainment. I love nothing more than to watch my kids have a great time. There will be time for trips to Sonoma and Napa after they are grown.

Except that typing that last sentence just broke a tiny corner of my heart. . .

Commence the commenting about balance please. Meanwhile, I'll be stopping at Ikea on the way back to Raleigh. And truly, like I Twittered earlier, "Wish you were here."

Labels: Bird, Guy and Me, Lovely, On parenthood

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Mamma Pie DATE:Monday, April 27, 2009 at 7:57:00 AM EDT Hey, I have been fascinated with their cute little commercials-which are right up there with those "vitamin water 10" commercials, and wondering if they are really even that nice. So exciting and I am sure I will be dragging us off there, especially since this heat is already ridiculous! And as for "stopping by Ikea," well. YES. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Bubblewench DATE:Monday, April 27, 2009 at 11:07:00 AM EDT Ok, I want to know what you got!!

But I understand 'rules' and won't force you.

Sounds like you have found an amazing group to have fun with, the family. :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

meredith DATE:Sunday, May 3, 2009 at 8:28:00 PM EDT I enjoyed reading your perspective on your outing to...wait, am I allowed to say where? They were great. My family had a great time also.

I just finished my official and unofficial reviews & wanted to see what the other folks had to share. :) ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Thirteen going on fabulous DATE: 3/16/2009 01:21:00 PM ----- BODY:

A teenager lives in our house now. She moved in last Wednesday and kicked out the little girl who used to be here. So far, she has been just as sweet and delicious as the little girl, and honestly, I don't expect that to change. I'm not scared of these teenage years.

Lovely is now thirteen. On her birthday, she came home to a yard full of flamingos wishing her a "Happy Birthday!" She had requested shepherd's pie for her birthday dinner and also wanted a homemade chocolate cake with chocolate icing. She got both. I even whipped up some peanut butter mousse to put between the four layers of the cake to surprise her. And, to her amazement, I managed to write legibly, even nicely, if I do say so myself, on the top of the cake. She almost didn't believe I had done it.

Her daddy wanted some pictures made for her birthday. "Thirteen is special," he proclaimed. I think that can be loosely translated, "I would like to have one last shot at my baby girl," but I could be wrong.

The young woman she is becoming is quite remarkable. She has been through a lot the past few years, yet she continues to love with an open heart. She is also able to stand firm in her beliefs, and that will really suit her well as she enters high school.

As an example: a couple of weeks ago, I asked Lovely how her piano lesson was the night before. (I had been helping her with her music because she had a lot to accomplish in a very little amount of time, and because,well, quite frankly, she just wasn't being taught.) She opened up and talked for almost an hour about how her teacher had been telling her to lie to her father and me. She was to "forget" her assignment book so that I couldn't ask questions and was told to not let us know that the teacher had failed to register Lovely for a festival she had been preparing for.

Lovely said, and I do quote because I will never forget it, "It's not right for a teacher to ask me to lie to my parents."

Right on, dearie. That is an incredibly mature realization. If I had been able to stand up for that when I was even 17, I would have had a much easier time of things. It was so brave of her to open up and let us know what was going on and that it made her really uncomfortable.

This girl, this young woman, balances loving her brother and me with the knowledge that her mother tells her that she shouldn't. She balances loving her father and her mother with the knowledge that they don't love each other. She must know how much we all love her, or I don't see how she could do it.

She hasn't been dealt a fair lot as a child. But instead of it ruining her childhood, it is already apparent that she is using what she has learned about life to become a beautiful, remarkable, strong, loving, and courageous young woman.

I am proud to know her, and I am so grateful that my son has Lovely for a big sister.

Labels: Family, Gratitude, Lovely, On parenthood

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Michelle DATE:Monday, March 16, 2009 at 2:36:00 PM EDT At the age 13 I was horrible...my mom just wished I was either younger or older because I treated her so poorly. As long as you have the confidence & keep her close :) you will not have a problem ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Margaret DATE:Monday, March 16, 2009 at 4:28:00 PM EDT What a lovely little homage to a clearly lovely girl. She's lucky to have you too. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Kris DATE:Monday, March 16, 2009 at 4:31:00 PM EDT Tha was so sweet. She is an amazing young lady! She's learned that from you. :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

No Minimom DATE:Monday, March 16, 2009 at 6:27:00 PM EDT She really is lovely! And all that gorgeous hair. Daddy better get that shotgun primed. ;-)

I love the shot of her hugging Bird. So so sweet. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Nita DATE:Monday, March 16, 2009 at 8:57:00 PM EDT Oh Marty - what a horrible situation for Miss Lovely to be in! I am so glad she trusts and loves you guys so much to share her true feelings. CC is so lucky to have such a bright big sister.

And the pic of her and CC hugging - gorgeous. :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Convertible Girl DATE:Monday, March 16, 2009 at 9:48:00 PM EDT Beautiful -- hope she reads your blog! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

flutter DATE:Monday, March 16, 2009 at 10:13:00 PM EDT she is absolutely beautiful ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

myrelish DATE:Monday, March 16, 2009 at 10:31:00 PM EDT It is quite clear that Lovely is an amazing person with a wonderful family. Congratulations (and Happy Birthday Lovely). ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Stella DATE:Tuesday, March 17, 2009 at 10:03:00 AM EDT It is clear that Lovely is a wonderfully special young woman! You are both incredibly lucky to have one another!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Susie DATE:Tuesday, March 17, 2009 at 2:19:00 PM EDT Beautiful.

I know it must be hard for her to be in the middle but she is so lucky to have so many adults who love her and adore her - not to mention a baby brother worship her:)

So sweet... ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Michelle Lynn DATE:Tuesday, March 17, 2009 at 2:59:00 PM EDT She's an amazing girl. She is lucky to have you, and I'm sure you feel lucky to have her too! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

the new girl DATE:Tuesday, March 17, 2009 at 8:21:00 PM EDT That picture of the two of them hugging made me WEEP.

She's lucky to have you. And you are lucky to have her. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

whymommy DATE:Wednesday, March 18, 2009 at 5:01:00 PM EDT Oh, sweet girl. May her path through teenagerland be easy and filled with a couple really good friends. And you guys, to look out for her.

(And that line about standing up for yourself? Yeah. I get you. I'm so glad that she can talk to you guys about this stuff already.)

The pictures are so sweet. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Bubblewench DATE:Thursday, March 19, 2009 at 7:49:00 AM EDT What awesome pictures! And what a great post for Lovely.

Happy Birthday young woman. May you grow to be all you can be and more. Keep loving. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Stimey DATE:Thursday, March 19, 2009 at 8:21:00 PM EDT She sounds like a really wonderful teenager who will grow into a wonderful woman. And she's beautiful! ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Yet another thing I will worry stupidly over and then later wonder why I did DATE: 9/03/2008 10:19:00 AM ----- BODY:

Liam Finn. I have proclaimed my love for Liam Finn more than once.

The last time Kevin and I saw Liam Finn live, we were in Portland, Oregon. It was a year ago this past weekend, and we had flown across the country to see Crowded House, and our friend Tattoo Dave.

It was a crazy thing to do, and one of the best weekends ever.

Liam Finn, who is hands down the most riveting performer I have ever seen, is playing in Chapel Hill this weekend. Sunday night. At the Local 506. For only $10.

Far less expensive than the last time we saw him.

But now there is a Little Bird, and he goes to bed at 8:00. There is the matter of a babysitter.

Our former nanny has turned us down. Too late at night, on a Sunday, I imagine. There is one other girl who I would trust to be here, and I'm waiting to hear back from her.

Lovely was a huge sweetheart and said that she would babysit him. I would totally let her too. She is wonderful with him, and I would rather leave him with his sister than anyone else. However, we would be a good 30 minute drive away, and aren't leaving the two children with no driver available should anything happen. Plus, it's a school night, and she needs to go to bed shortly after Mr. Kicky does. This just isn't the situation for sister to babysit.

It's just a short evening, late at night. I could just get another sitter. There are other sitters.

The children are going to be sleeping. It's not a big deal.

Right?

The prospect of leaving them here with someone else, even someone with vast experience? I'm having a hard time with it.

I'm thinking I need to loosen up.

So when did you leave your little ones with a sitter for the first time to do something fun? Any tips on how to get over myself?

Labels: Bird, Lovely, Music, Stupid Me

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Andria and Co. DATE:Wednesday, September 3, 2008 at 11:26:00 AM EDT I am no help... I haven't left Blake once, won't even leave him with Jason.
Ailane? I parted with when she went to kindergarten.
See? No help. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

toddlerplanet DATE:Wednesday, September 3, 2008 at 11:49:00 AM EDT I'll let you know.

But Grammy says they did fine with her while we were away overnight last weekend (surgery). Wish I could share her with you today.... ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Bubblewench DATE:Wednesday, September 3, 2008 at 12:37:00 PM EDT I'm useles here. But I like this post because it shows how much you care and how much of a MOM you have totally become. You're a mom. It's really cool. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Susie DATE:Wednesday, September 3, 2008 at 1:14:00 PM EDT Well after three kids, you'd think I'd have some good advice. I got nothin'.
"Logan" was Christopher's age when we took him with us to see Madeline Peyroux at the Carolina Theatre and I nursed him to sleep right there, surrounded by all the jazz. And then we left early, about an hour after she came on stage, because we had to get home to the kids. That's really the last time we've been out.
And I'm glad to hear that there are more moms out there that do not take leaving their children lightly. It makes me feel better.
There's nothing about you that you need to get over. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Spacemom DATE:Wednesday, September 3, 2008 at 1:54:00 PM EDT Okay-
With my first, it was 15 months (not counting daycare)
With my second, it was 3 months
What I learned was this:
You have to go with your comfort level. Honestly? I would trust Lovey and let her watch him. What does she need to know?
a) basic first aid
b) infant CPR would be nice, but unlikely she would need it
c) how to dial 911

Take the WORSE case scenario... Something goes wrong with LB. Lovey checks vitals, calls 911. Asks for an ambulance first. Report the status of LB and request assistence (if needed, infant CPR is pretty easy...you can even watch some internet videos to get the basics.. Make sure the airway is clear, 2 breaths (or not)....two fingers on the chest, depress the chest 1/3 of the way down, 30 seconds on...2 breaths (cover nose and mouth if needed) 30 seconds of compression....ABC airways clear...breath...compression.

Okay..now that I've terrified you. Think hard. What situation would happen that she would NEED CPR? What is the worst situation you have been in with LB?
Probably nothing more than a cough or so.

Odds are against anything happening. If you stay home? Same odds as if you go out.

My personal opinion? go. Let Lovey get some experience babysitting (it will build her confidence). Have a night for you and Guy. YES you can call 20 times during the night. Heck, have Lovey text you for every diaper change and burp if you want. It's okay to be Canape and not mom for a few hours. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Spacemom DATE:Wednesday, September 3, 2008 at 1:56:00 PM EDT ETA:
I've never had to use CPR on my kids, but I am trained. Also I have had to take Luna to the hospital 3 times so far (she's 4 years old...2 times for illness 1 for a concussion). Things DO happen, but odds are against it. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Stella DATE:Wednesday, September 3, 2008 at 2:15:00 PM EDT I was just going to do a post on this!

We had a sitter when our son was born who was wonderful. A former student of mine. She was with us since he was about 4 months old. GREAT!

She has cared for both of our children and I trust everything about her. She is now in college and gone most of the time. I am now at a point where we need another sitter but I am too nervous to trust anyone else.

It's hard to leave them. I'm fine with leaving them with my parents but I know that's not an option for you. I really think it's a leap of faith for you. If you trust the person you have chosen and you have checked everything and dotted every I I think it's a matter of moving beyond your own fears.

It's really hard!!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Unkempt Mommy DATE:Wednesday, September 3, 2008 at 3:16:00 PM EDT I struggle with this as well. I don't have any family nearby and my IL's have never watched Scout. BUT we have a few really close friends that I do trust to leave her with. I just try to tell myself that it's okay if she cries a little and that the person watching her will probably be even more paranoid and cautious with her than I am (Because obviously they don't want some careless accident to happen on their watch)
i.e. I have been known to let her dance on the coffee table and chomp on a whole unpeeled apple (not at the same time LOL :) and the babysitter probably wouldn't - KWIM?

I text message whomever's watching her frequently for updates. That said, I honestly never fully relax and let go during the few times we've left her with friends, but I still manage to have a good time somehow.

I think I would have a SUPER tough time leaving her with someone that wasn't a very close friend, though.

As for leaving him w/ Lovely, I think you have to trust your gut. If you don't think its the best situation for her to test out her babysitting skills, then you DEFINITELY won't end up having a good time at all, so it wouldn't even be worth it. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Marty, a.k.a. canape DATE:Wednesday, September 3, 2008 at 3:28:00 PM EDT I think Lovely would do a great job, but she has to go to bed herself because she has school the next day. So it is not that I don't think she can, KWIM? ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Daily Verses DATE:Wednesday, September 3, 2008 at 4:10:00 PM EDT I have a hard time leaving my guys, too. I really have only left them w/ family, with the exception of the week we closed on our house. That week they had to go w/ 3 different close friends on 3 occasions. But like everyone said, trust your gut. You won't enjoy yourself if you're too worried.

The few people who have watched my kids have been from my church; they're people I know well and trust immensely. Do you have any social circles/church with folks that you're close to? Maybe that's a good place to look. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

@sweetbabboo DATE:Wednesday, September 3, 2008 at 10:25:00 PM EDT I can't really offer much since I haven't left Linus with anyone but family. I think the first time we left him with anyone was when he was 5 months.

I agree with some of the other moms in that you should get someone you totally trust.... maybe even do a mini test run first. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

katy DATE:Wednesday, September 3, 2008 at 10:39:00 PM EDT My daughter just turned 18...if she is home alone I get sick to my stomach. We never go anywhere that will make us gone after dark if she is home. My big problem is the fact that we do not have "next door" neighbors and no cell service. I always picture someone cutting the phone lines and her not being able to get help. I know that sounds paranoid but if something would happen I would never forgive myself.
So to answer your question....I don't know. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

becky DATE:Monday, September 8, 2008 at 12:19:00 AM EDT I'm no help - I haven't left the boy with anyone except sister or dad. But I totally get your worries. I didn't even want to leave him in daycare, which is why I'm now working from home. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Sunday snapshots DATE: 6/29/2008 02:43:00 PM ----- BODY:

This post is in honor of KD (did you know her url has changed?), who says that this blog needs more pictures of Christopher. I certainly can't disagree with that. Here are a few of both kiddos and their daddy in the gazebo we put up this morning.

Them's some happy chillens.

Labels: Bird, Guy and Me, Lovely

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Mrs. Fussy Fussypants DATE:Sunday, June 29, 2008 at 10:06:00 PM EDT Very cute pics. I love to see pictures of the family and that glimpse into eachother's lives.

And Christopher is one adorable 5 month old baby.

xo, Alli ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Bubblewench DATE:Monday, June 30, 2008 at 7:13:00 AM EDT Awesome! Nice gazebo... ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Susie DATE:Monday, June 30, 2008 at 7:44:00 PM EDT How cute! I could just hear that deep baby belly laugh looking at those pics. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Jennie DATE:Monday, June 30, 2008 at 10:42:00 PM EDT Oh he's gotten so big and handsome! I really think he looks like you. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

No Minimom DATE:Wednesday, July 2, 2008 at 2:46:00 PM EDT Your family is GORGEOUS! Thanks for brightening my day with adorable Christopher pictures. :-) ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Baby don't care about no Slash DATE: 6/22/2008 10:18:00 PM ----- BODY:

We're home. Nashville has come and gone for another year.

This year, the whole family got to go. Even Lovely was able to switch a weekend around and come with us to the Gibson Summer Jam and NAMM show. It was awesome to all get to go together.

The NAMM show is a trade show for music dealers. Guitars, drums, keyboards, amps, accessories, everything you can think of that you might find in a Sam Ass or Guitar Center type store is represented. What you don't see are high end orchestral and symphonic type instruments or pianos there. It's not that kind of show.

It is the kind of show, however, where you can see what Baldwin has done to a piano now. It is hideous, grotesque, and ridiculous. I'm sure it sold on the first day. Pardon the crappy cell phone picture:

Gibson's Custom Shop hosts a party every summer, and if NAMM is in Nashville that year, they make sure that the two coincide. Gibson is a decent host, even if the party gets bigger and bigger every year, leaving it less personal and more smoky all the time. I've been three times now, and in just those three times, the focus has shifted from one of wining and dining their guests as a thank you for being Gibson supporters in the hopes that they will leave having purchased a couple more guitars to having the event be a marketing tool for them to the general public. This year, the t-shirts that they used to wrap up in fancy bags full of picks, stickers, and other goodies and give to us for free, they were selling for $20 each.

SWAG is a thing of the past at the Gibson Summer Jam. Guy was not a happy camper.

The BBQ dinner at a downtown Nashville restaurant we had with the other 30 or so people attending the Gibson week a few years ago? Turned into speed tacos under a tent with 300 other people.

It's just a different event now. A less fun event.

The first year I got to go, Peter Frampton showed up and played for less than 100 of us in the parking lot of the Custom Shop.

The next year, Guy and I had just gotten married and we saw Cheap Trick with about 200 people in the parking lot.

This year, it was Johnny Winter and Slash performing, there must have been 500 people there, and I left with Christopher by 8:00 PM and didn't hear a note of them. Here's what Christopher thought of the whole affair:

Yes, he truly did need the headphones. It was loud, but worse than that was the extreme highs and lows that were mixed in. Too much for a little one's ears. Here's a gratuitous shot of him before he passed out on my lap.

And just in case I thought I was being overprotective, here's a shot of him the next night when the music started, but I hadn't gotten his headphones on him yet.

Bless his little heart. He was totally happy once he got his phones on.

And yes, I thought judgmental parent thoughts of those parents letting their babies and toddlers get even closer to the speakers without hearing protection. I have crossed that line now. Granted, I didn't say anything, but I judged them in my mind. And now here too.

So that's where we've been. I've got some other not so interesting stories that I'll bore you with as the week goes on.

That ought to drive my readership up through the roof.

Labels: Bird, Guy and Me, Lovely, Music, On parenthood

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Stella DATE:Sunday, June 22, 2008 at 11:03:00 PM EDT Those cheeks! SO CUTE! You have one cute kid! And those headphones are priceless!!

I'd be judgmental too! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Stimey DATE:Sunday, June 22, 2008 at 11:49:00 PM EDT Oh my god he's so cute in those headphones. I'm absolutely dying of cuteness. I can't wait to meet him (and you) in SF! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

whymommy DATE:Monday, June 23, 2008 at 10:01:00 AM EDT Headphones were a great idea! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Susie DATE:Monday, June 23, 2008 at 10:35:00 AM EDT Since babies are born with perfect hearing - our one sense that is at it's best at birth and then degrades over time, why blow it before his first birthday? And even if the headphones weren't a good idea, they are just too cute on him to pass up. Besides, it looks like they help to hold his cheeks up. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

@sweetbabboo DATE:Monday, June 23, 2008 at 2:13:00 PM EDT Those pictures are just too cute. I agree that the headphones were a wise decision. We protect their skin with sunscreen when outside so why not their ears when their exposed to loud music. I would have done the same thing. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Liz DATE:Saturday, June 28, 2008 at 5:34:00 PM EDT just catching up on my blog reading...
we want to take our kids to a bluegrass festival later this summer, tell me where you found those phones! ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Because I'm not that important really DATE: 4/26/2008 12:41:00 PM ----- BODY:

So I've been thinking a lot about this blogging thing, and I've decided to stay put. Too many wonderful things have come from it, and I don't want to take everything down and start over again.

They are my words. My thoughts. Shared here because it's something that I enjoy.

Besides, Andria is right. She would just find it again anyway, and I'm not going to switch to an invitation only format. There are too many of you that I don't know who are here, and I'm glad you are.

The bottom line is that it's not my responsibility to change Wife #1, nor do I want to. She is an adult that makes her own decisions. Lovely is her daughter and she chooses to treat her however she wants to treat her.

My blog has nothing to do with that. If it weren't the blog, it would be something else. Apparently there is some deep need to know as much as she can about what is going on in our lives, and even without my words as information, she would be grilling Lovely like she is now.

There is the off chance that she isn't reading the blog (off chance meaning that Sitemeter would be a big fat liar), in which case, she is following us again. I'm sure the sheriff I talked to the first time she was following us would be happy to know if she was at it again.

I want for Lovely to have a good relationship with her mother. It is best for her that she does. Until now, I have made decisions not to attend events, answer my own phone, and other things just to try and protect Lovely from embarrassment at her mother's behavior or from the yelling she has to endure when she returns to her mother's house.

Today is when I stop doing things just to try and control an outcome at her mother's house. It doesn't work. Regardless of what I do, she is who she is, and Lovely has to learn to handle it. She loves her mother very much, and hopefully, that will be enough.

So the blog is staying put, and I'm going to go back to writing about my life. Which doesn't include Wife #1.

Labels: Blogging Innards, Lovely, Things I Should Keep to Myself

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

gail DATE:Sunday, April 27, 2008 at 7:55:00 PM EDT I'm glad. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Andria DATE:Sunday, April 27, 2008 at 8:32:00 PM EDT Good. Your space, your words, your life. It's lame that some people have to worm their way in, because they don't have a life of their own. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

texasholly DATE:Sunday, April 27, 2008 at 10:38:00 PM EDT I am glad too. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Mamma DATE:Sunday, April 27, 2008 at 11:00:00 PM EDT Phew!!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Bubblewench DATE:Monday, April 28, 2008 at 6:45:00 AM EDT YEAH! I think that is a smart move. And you're right, she'll be that way no matter what you do.

Now I can smile today. :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Jessica DATE:Monday, April 28, 2008 at 5:41:00 PM EDT ::Phew:: ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Space Mom DATE:Monday, April 28, 2008 at 9:00:00 PM EDT Very glad to hear that. BTW- cyber stalking is a crime in some states. If there is a person who is not supposed to "contact" you, you can discuss this with the police. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Clifford DATE:Monday, April 28, 2008 at 9:49:00 PM EDT Let it aaallllll roll off, girlfriend. And also (my opinion only, I guess) resist the temptation to stick your nose in the air and "be the better woman." Just be. Life is too good and too short to walk around pissed off about anything.

A prescription of baseball and hotdogs for you too. Now, mister! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Cari B DATE:Tuesday, April 29, 2008 at 7:18:00 AM EDT I'm so glad... b/c I knew I prolly wouldn't be on the email invite list SEEING as you don't know me... but I've posted and I follow your blog and care about how you are doing... plus I love the pix of the baby!!

Cari B in NY ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Finding peace. Keeping peace. DATE: 2/17/2008 11:07:00 PM ----- BODY:

It's not so much about finding the peace. Talk to me at any random moment, and I'm perfectly fine about how things are going. Christopher has gained a pound since that day at the doctor's office. He is doing really well, and is a happy baby.

That is all that matters, really.

How I feel varies from hour to hour though. As whatever hormones are left in me have their way, and as the Reglan inhibits whatever dopamine it has to in order to help my milk production, and as the sleep deprivation messes with my emotions - as all these things come into play, it's hard to know how I really feel.

Yesterday, on the phone with Whymommy, I felt good. I was able to discuss where we were with things in a positive manner. Is my baby exclusively breast feeding? No. He has to have 4-6 ounces of formula a day in order to not be hungry. Am I doing everything I can humanly possibly do in order to increase production? Yes. I am nursing and pumping 90% of the time I'm awake. I'm taking my herbs. I'm taking my prescription. I'm drinking plenty of water and eating plenty of good food. I'm getting skin to skin with my baby. All of the advice. I'm taking all of the advice and doing it as much as I can.

Today, on the phone with my momma, I felt crappy. It bothered me that I had missed the crucial piece of information that regular, frequent nursings have to do with keeping my supply up as much as they have to do with feeding the baby. So when that doctor told me to alternate nursing with bottles? Leaving me to nurse only about 4 times a day and supplement the rest? He blew a hole in my supply. I didn't know then. I know now. I don't know how I missed it. I was just doing what he told me to do.

Right this moment, I'm okay again. My baby is full and growing. He is getting mostly breast milk, and who's to say that I might be able to have him exclusively on it again in a couple more weeks? It will be fine. I'm going to do whatever I can to have him be the healthiest baby he can be.

And thank God for the hands free pumping bra. Making this post possible. I wish I had it from the very beginning.

******************

We got the proofs for some beautiful baby shots back this weekend. If you would like the link to see them, shoot me an email and I'll send it to you.

******************

Gratuitous photo of the day

We think she likes him. Seeing as how she gets this huge grin on her face every time she gets to hold him? We think she likes him a lot.

Lovely is doing great with her new little brother. She has taken getting peed on during a diaper change in stride. She is becoming a pro at dressing him. And she is the best at walking him when he needs that constant motion to settle down.

She's an awesome big sister.

********************

Finally, I wish that I had opened comments on the breast feeding post. I forgot that while I couldn't handle anymore advice because I was on overload - I forgot that most of the time, people are just relating. Just understanding where you are and where you've been. Some times, they are right there with you, and some times, they have made it through where you've been and can remind you that nothing lasts forever.

So for those of you who took the time to email or comment on another post, thank you. It does help to know that I'm not alone. I hope that it helps to know you aren't either.

Labels: Bird, Friends, Lovely, My Life

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

toddlerplanet DATE:Monday, February 18, 2008 at 12:00:00 AM EST Hey, babe. Hang in there. You are doing GREAT.

(That doctor, though? Not so much. Arrogant, arrogant man.) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

K. Welbes DATE:Monday, February 18, 2008 at 6:39:00 AM EST Breast feeding is not always a great experience, but you are doing exactly what you need to - feeding him as much breast milk as possible, and then supplementing him when he needs it. Nothing, nobody, no one can ask for more. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

~JJ! DATE:Monday, February 18, 2008 at 7:09:00 AM EST Well, Mamma...You sound pretty good here...This new mommy thing is so hard to get a grasp on in the very beginning...And your happy times are sounding wonderful...I send you all the love you need for this very trying time in motherhood...You are rockin' it sister. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Andria DATE:Monday, February 18, 2008 at 8:05:00 AM EST You are doing such a great job! I never have understood why something so natural, can be so hard. I had latching issues with Ailane, and there were so many times that I wanted to give up. Then, I ended up breastfeeding her until she was almost 3. Go figure. :P
Lovely and Little C are so adorable together... I am sure she loves her brother to pieces! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

ImpostorMom DATE:Monday, February 18, 2008 at 8:42:00 AM EST Hang in there and know that you are doing the best for your little guy. I am amazed at how hard you are working at this when you could have given up.

Breastfeeding is a hard thing to do and it takes immense dedication. You are an amazing mother to Christopher and he is a lucky, lucky little guy.

I wouldn't mind seeing the pictures either. He's so handsome after all, how could I resist. :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

K DATE:Monday, February 18, 2008 at 9:37:00 AM EST Just catching up - your son is adorable. That picture of Lovely with him? So sweet!
It's so frustrating to me that many of my friends have received the same advice from a doctor. How wonderful that your momma is so wise! I'm glad you are having some happy times to balance out the tough ones. Sending good thoughts your way....oh and I'd love to see your pictures! ;) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

sunraysnsaturdays DATE:Monday, February 18, 2008 at 12:47:00 PM EST Sweet picture. Breastfeeding is hard, and when a doctor tells you to do something you have to believe that he knows what he is talking about. Sorry it didn't so much happen that way for you. I had a bad experience with a pediatrician recently too. I've got a new one now.

The new momy thing also takes some adjustment, but I think you are doing GREAT. Hang in there and before you know it all of this will be a distant memory. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

the new girl DATE:Monday, February 18, 2008 at 2:38:00 PM EST I just caught up! Those hormones are a BITCH my friend. I'm glad that you have support and some moments of clarity (those would be the moments when you know that everything will work out.)

The beginning of breastfeeding is anything BUT natural, I think. You're doing what you need to do and you're right. It will be fine.

I am astonished that doctors seem to know NOTHING about breastfeeding. I was just saying that to my sister. Messed up, that is. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Clifford DATE:Monday, February 18, 2008 at 5:06:00 PM EST Hands-free pumping bra.

Okay, I need to see one of these. Not yours, but a. As in one of them. It sounds like the flowbee of motherhood or something. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Toni DATE:Monday, February 18, 2008 at 8:25:00 PM EST Breastfeeding was HARD for me and my little one, too. I had to supplement with formula from 2-6 weeks and it was hard on my ego. I took the herbs, I drank the water, I pumped 'round the clock and around 6 weeks, went back (at the advice of a lactation consultant) to 100% nursing. It worked for me. But even if it doesn't work for you, you are doing your best and that is what is important.

God bless and good luck from this lurker! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Marla DATE:Wednesday, February 20, 2008 at 6:50:00 AM EST You are doing a wonderful job. :) Glad everything is coming together. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Haiku reflection on a new me DATE: 1/18/2008 11:48:00 PM ----- BODY:

Guy and Lovely gave me a new mixer for Christmas. For 10 years, I have used my very basic Kitchen Aid 4 1/2 quart mixer for all my baking. I felt lucky to have a Kitchen Aid, but I knew that it was a little small for the amount and kind of baking I like to do.

There have been times that Guy has tried to talk me into buying the Professional 600 series mixer that I drooled over. The 6 quart one. Yum. But I just couldn't do it. I had a mixer that worked just fine. It seemed like such a frivolous purchase when I had something that already did the job.

Thank goodness for gifts. The new mixer is a power house, and I swear, I made the best pound cake I have ever made with it on its first run. The crust was absolutely perfect. The batter had room to breathe in that wonderful 6 quart bowl. I love it.

Since my old mixer didn't break, I couldn't see getting rid of it. It's a great mixer. So, we deemed it Lovely's mixer and set about teaching her how to bake.

Yesterday, I gave her a stack of cookbooks so she could pick out a cake to make.

She chose a Hot Milk Cake with Caramel Icing from the Jackson Junior League's Come On In cookbook.

Oh boy. I have never done caramel before.

We set our mixers up this morning and each made the cake. At the same time. Because I think the easiest way to learn it to get to do it yourself. We walked through the steps together and both had some really good looking batter to go into our respective ovens.

Tonight, we tackled the icing, but did it together instead of each doing a separate batch.

I am happy to report that it turned out beautifully. We were beyond proud of ourselves. We cut into Lovely's cake, that she made completely with her own two hands, and it was fantastic. My daddy would be in the kitchen with a fork, finishing off at least one of those cakes himself if he were here.

Now, if someone could just tell me how to clean caramelized sugar out of my cast iron skillet, I would be so thankful.

Tomorrow, we tackle some pajama pants with some cute pink flannel that her dad picked out for her. It's dadgum Home Economics 101 around here. From the woman who never considered herself very domestic. The woman who was going to be a rock star. Then the woman who was married to her job.

Y'all come by. I'll make you some biscuits. Things are different now.

************

Allowing for change
Allows you to find yourself
In comfortable skin.

Make sure you stop by and wish Jennifer safe travels and painless moving before she takes a Haiku Hiatus.

Labels: baking, Good Eatin', Haiku Friday, Lovely, My Life

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

slouchy DATE:Saturday, January 19, 2008 at 12:13:00 AM EST yum -- that cake (those cakes) sounds (sound) divine! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Bon DATE:Saturday, January 19, 2008 at 8:33:00 AM EST i stand in awe. can i come live in your nice domestic house with its mixers and cakes? seriously, i think you've just set off a longing i didn't know i had.

i think i could find myself a very comfortable (if probably soon enlarged by cake) skin there. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Stella DATE:Saturday, January 19, 2008 at 9:50:00 AM EST That cake sounds delicious!!

If you heat the pan back up, the caramel becomes easier to work with and clean off! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

gail DATE:Saturday, January 19, 2008 at 10:02:00 AM EST MMM can I come over? ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

pastormargaret DATE:Saturday, January 19, 2008 at 10:55:00 AM EST Save some cake for Dad. Put some really hot water in the skillet and it will dissolve the cooked on sugar. Been there; done that.
Mom ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Jenni DATE:Saturday, January 19, 2008 at 11:03:00 AM EST I'm so jealous!! I want a new Kitchen-Aid! But I did get a Vita-Mix for Christmas. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Tiffany DATE:Saturday, January 19, 2008 at 11:47:00 AM EST Funny isn't it how we find joy in the things that at one time never even entered our minds? ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Imstell DATE:Saturday, January 19, 2008 at 12:01:00 PM EST Would you be my Mom? I mean, I know I'm 40 (oops. 41. I forgot.) and all... but my mom never could cook... and it's never too late to learn... ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Mamma DATE:Saturday, January 19, 2008 at 2:11:00 PM EST That is nesting if I ever heard it. I am so mad I don't live closer. I am dying for some of your pound cake ever since you mentioned it last year.

I should make those yummy cupcakes now that I'm thinking of it. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

KimmieRo DATE:Saturday, January 19, 2008 at 3:50:00 PM EST MMMMM recipe please!

You already are a wonderful Mom Canape. You are raising a great girl- and Bird? He's the luckiest baby in the world as far as I can tell. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Jenn DATE:Saturday, January 19, 2008 at 10:48:00 PM EST You my friend are indeed a Southern Domestic Goddess! You are a terrific Mom to a terrific young lady and the littlest....he's gonna be so spoiled by you all. :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Steph DATE:Sunday, January 20, 2008 at 9:32:00 AM EST The cakes sound YUMMY!

I find myself in the same skin this year. The girl who was gonna join the peace corp and save the world is a cloth diaperin, babywearin, bakin, cookin, cleanin domestic woman.

It's a nice place to be though dont you think? ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Becki DATE:Thursday, January 24, 2008 at 10:10:00 AM EST Very cool haiku.

I should bake more....those cakes sound delish!! ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Circle of life and our beloved fatso pig DATE: 1/15/2008 10:06:00 PM ----- BODY:

We sat at the dinner table tonight with books and papers on labor and delivery. Seeing how Lovely may be with us during Little Bird's arrival, we wanted to help her understand the stages of labor and what would happen during delivery.

The basics were covered. The basics of labor and delivery and the basics of our plans. She asked a couple of questions, looked at a couple of the books with us, and we were done. If she thinks of anymore questions she said she would ask us later.

It was very cool to sit and discuss the beginning of life as a family. Birth. The arrival of Little Bird.

After the conversation, we cleaned up the kitchen and I took some laundry upstairs. Lovely was in her room changing the batteries in her Nintendo. I knocked on her door with some clean clothes for her to put away.

"I haven't checked the pig in a couple of mornings since you've been here. Is he doing okay?"

She said that she hadn't checked on him this morning either. We noticed his water was getting low, and I went over to get the bottle.

Hershey was laying in the back of his pen where his Timothy hay made both a bed and a feast for the fatso pig. His eyes were open, but he was very still.

A couple of days ago, Lovely and I had Hershey out for some guinea pig loving. I gently pointed out that the lump on the back of his neck had gotten significantly larger since the last time she was home. I said that I was worried Hershey wouldn't be with us much longer.

I didn't think that it was a matter of days.

Hershey is gone. He died in his favorite spot in his cavi condo. Guy said he had checked on him this morning and he was still with us. Sometime during the day, Hershey left this life. Only after eating 99% of the giant bed of hay though.

I cried more than anyone. I don't know why I loved that little pig. I've never been a rodent person. When he unexpectedly moved in here, from Lovely's mother's house, he squeaked his way right into my heart. He would rattle his cage and squeak at me as I worked on my sewing in the next room, as I changed Lovely's sheets, or put away towels in the linen closet.

"Get in here, woman, and give me some damn yogurt treats!"

He was a demanding little pig.

The setter loved him. Pupstar wanted to eat him. Gibson also drooled over him.

Lovely loved him. He was hers. He survived her parents' divorce with her and followed her into her new part-time home. Her father bought that pig for her, and she loved him.

I got a box, a funky hand towel with pom poms on the end of it, and Lovely suggested making a bed of hay for him. We did. Guy placed Hershey on his bed of hay one last time and wrapped the towel over him.

We said our words over Hershey's last resting place, wrote notes to him on the box, and said good bye.

Starting our night with birth. Ending our night with death.

It was a full evening.

We will miss you, fatso pig. You were much loved.

Labels: Baby Lust, Family, Grief, Lovely, Try Try Again

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Maddy DATE:Tuesday, January 15, 2008 at 10:55:00 PM EST Ahh, what a shame. The loss of a pet always leaves such a gaping hole.
Best wishes to you and yours ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Fancy Pants DATE:Tuesday, January 15, 2008 at 11:23:00 PM EST The Setter thought that he was a dog and was confused that he didn't bark. The pig would eat her fur and she would let him. What a pig. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Jenn DATE:Wednesday, January 16, 2008 at 12:31:00 AM EST Sounds like he had a wonderful life with you, Guy, Lovey and the pooches. Amazing how those little guys work their way into your heart. {{{HUGS}}} to you all. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

K DATE:Wednesday, January 16, 2008 at 7:28:00 AM EST I completely understand. When I was young, we were given a guinea pig because a friend's dad was allergic. He squeaked his way in too - and when he was gone I got one as a birthday gift. When mine died, my sister got one as a birthday gift. They are such easy to care for, loving pets. I still miss having one around. (Coincidentally one of ours died from a neck lump as well.) Sorry for your loss. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

~JJ! DATE:Wednesday, January 16, 2008 at 9:47:00 AM EST Oh Hershey.

I'm sorry. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Steph DATE:Wednesday, January 16, 2008 at 10:16:00 AM EST You.. You will be a great mother to Bird. Really. You already are to Lovely. You walked her through birth and then death all in one evening! :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

gail DATE:Wednesday, January 16, 2008 at 10:18:00 AM EST Poor Piggy and family... ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Candygirlflies DATE:Wednesday, January 16, 2008 at 11:02:00 AM EST Oh, Sweetie...

I'm so very, very sorry. No one understands what you're feeling right now more than I do, my friend.

Hershey was a gorgeous little fatso, and I'm certain that you all gave him a wonderful life.

((((HUG)))) for you, and another ((((HUG)))) for Lovely...

lots of love from CGF and Cupcake (who is now our one-and-only GP) xoxo ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Heather, Queen of Shake Shake DATE:Wednesday, January 16, 2008 at 2:20:00 PM EST Awww, it's so sad when a beloved pet dies. And very hard.

Good-bye Hersery...I hope you have a wonderful time on your next grand adventure! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

labugga DATE:Wednesday, January 16, 2008 at 6:18:00 PM EST I'm sorry :( ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Kathy's Surprise Party DATE:Wednesday, January 16, 2008 at 6:36:00 PM EST Sniff. I totally get it. Maybe Hershey and Little Bird will get to high-five on the way in/out of this world? ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Jenn DATE:Wednesday, January 16, 2008 at 8:27:00 PM EST God speed. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Bon DATE:Thursday, January 17, 2008 at 7:04:00 PM EST you know, i've never read a nicer post for a guinea pig.

tell Lovely we're sorry about Hershey. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Stimey DATE:Friday, January 18, 2008 at 8:28:00 PM EST I'm so sorry. Hershey looks like he was a cutie. He looks very lovable. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Haiku Friday DATE: 1/11/2008 10:31:00 PM ----- BODY:

One for Bird . . .

I am so tired
Little Bird's not even here
Need to get some sleep.

One for Momma . . .

Momma's chemo works
Her ca125
Is down even more.

One for Lovely . . .

I love track out time
Hanging with my Lovely girl
Gonna learn to sew.

More haiku goodness over at Jennifer's place. Check them out. Even better yet, join in! 5-7-5 is a piece of cake.

Labels: Baby Lust, Haiku Friday, Lovely, Momma, Try Try Again

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Secret Agent Mama DATE:Friday, January 11, 2008 at 11:04:00 PM EST Get as much sleep as you can! Best wishes in the coming weeks!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

labugga DATE:Saturday, January 12, 2008 at 11:32:00 AM EST So glad to hear about Momma!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Anonymous DATE:Saturday, January 12, 2008 at 7:20:00 PM EST Sewing's lots of fun,
Especially for Little Bird.
I would love to help.

Bach ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Bon DATE:Sunday, January 13, 2008 at 11:17:00 AM EST just wanted to say how happy i am about your mom.

now get some sleep. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Becki DATE:Monday, January 14, 2008 at 1:40:00 PM EST Sleep!! It won't be long now ;) ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: There's apparently a baby coming DATE: 12/13/2007 12:19:00 PM ----- BODY:

There might be a nursery in the making. Last night, after what I consider mountains of homework, Lovely helped her daddy put together what she has dubbed, "baby prison."

I guess it's time for me to nest.

Instead, I'm going to go upstairs and work on a sewing project. Something that I would like to go to a friend's little one. However, she sews too, and I'm a little afraid that I'll just embarrass myself with my efforts. Is it really just the thought that counts?

How cute is he? So proud of his little boy's crib.

I suppose we should buy a mattress for it. Details, details.

Labels: Baby Lust, Guy and Me, Lovely, My Life, Try Try Again

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Mamma DATE:Thursday, December 13, 2007 at 3:32:00 PM EST Awww Lovely's already empathizing with her little bro.

If you're nesting you're going to go soon. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Maddy DATE:Thursday, December 13, 2007 at 3:56:00 PM EST Not too soon before you get the matress I hope!
Best wishes

This is my calling card or link"Whittereronautism"until blogger comments get themselves sorted out. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

FENICLE DATE:Thursday, December 13, 2007 at 5:37:00 PM EST OH MY! I have been so absent from blogs lately...GREAT LOOK to your site! Love it!

And then I see the counter saying 43 more days...WOW!!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Steph DATE:Thursday, December 13, 2007 at 5:40:00 PM EST It looks great! He looks SO proud! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Stella DATE:Thursday, December 13, 2007 at 5:47:00 PM EST So exciting! The crib makes it so real for me...well that and the person moving inside of me..that makes it real too!

You must be getting close if you're nesting!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

whymommy DATE:Thursday, December 13, 2007 at 9:46:00 PM EST Awesome. And trendy too! Are you using a bassinet for the first few months or going straight to the crib? His room or yours?

Details, woman, details!

Those of us enjoying your baby's arrival vicariously want to know what you're thinking! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

girl DATE:Friday, December 14, 2007 at 5:18:00 PM EST I can't help but giggle. Good looking crib with a good lookin' dude. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Ally DATE:Friday, December 14, 2007 at 11:16:00 PM EST Canape, I love your blog's new look!

And I love this crib! Mattress will no doubt come in handy at some point... ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

KimmieRo DATE:Monday, December 17, 2007 at 9:06:00 AM EST I love the baby prison! I know a woman whose little boy commented on what pretty cages cribs were-- LOL!

IMO- sewing is nesting. That and not being able to sleep while you make lists of the things that need to be done in your head.

I always hope it is the thought that counts-- cause I know I make a fool of myself regularly otherwise. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Bubblewench DATE:Wednesday, December 19, 2007 at 10:42:00 AM EST That is too damn cute! Nice to see that smile on his face. Wonderful. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Born to Ramble DATE: 12/09/2007 11:40:00 AM ----- BODY:

Everything has made me cry this past week. Commercials with babies or dogs. Guy talking to Bird up next to the belly. TV shows. Everything.

Friday was a bad day. It was different than just the tearing up, it was a big black cloud of a day. It was long and hard and very not fun.

Then Saturday, I woke up, rolled over into Guy's arms, and noticed that quite literally the sun was shining again. It was the strangest thing. And I wondered if that was at all what it was like to have depression. Of course, it was just that one day where I had no control over how I felt or reacted to my emotions. One single day where I felt like the darkness would never lift and it wasn't worth trying anyway.

If that is at all what it is like, then I have a new appreciation for people that have to deal with day after day of that despair. I do not know how they do it.

The strangest thing is that my phone rarely rings during the day. I'm not a huge phone talker anyway, but during the day, if I don't talk to T or my momma, I don't talk to anyone. But Friday, T called. She had read my entry and was just calling to check on me. Then Susan, just to chat. Then Andria to cheer me up. And I knew that it would be alright. It would all be okay if I just held on. Just hearing their voices was good.

And it was.

Yesterday was a much better day. We had our breast feeding class. Afterwards, Guy cleaned out the shed and I worked on the boxes that I need to get in the mail on Monday. Lovely spent the morning in the backyard painting a picture for a language arts project. It is really quite fabulous. She went to a camp this summer on painting cityscapes, and it is amazing to see how far she has come even since that camp. Her latest cityscape for this project is awesome.

She is also doing a science project on how a grand piano works. After doing her own research on the internet, I showed her a video on the making of a Mason & Hamlin piano.

Random fact: this video also made me cry. When they get to the part where the lady is carefully weighting each key, carving into it and adding weight or taking away weight where needed one by one and by feel? I cried. So much care went into making that piano.

Anyway, she's working really hard on the project, and I think it will turn out great. We took the music rack and the fall board off the piano this morning and took some pictures of the inside. Then we talked about how the action works, what each of the pedals does, and about the strings, vibrations, and tuning pins. It was a lot of fun, and it was cool to have her connect information that she had already collected to the things I was showing her this morning. I love it when a kiddo does that. It means they are really thinking and not just skimming the top.

After helping Lovely learn how to use Power Point, Guy is upstairs putting the floor down in Bird's room. Later, we will put together the crib and changing table and move everything back in there. I think, I think it will look like a nursery by the end of the day. Maybe. At the very least, Lovely can quit sharing her room with a carseat box and baskets of diapers.

Christmas music has filled the house this weekend, and that also makes me happy. Some of it has been on CD, and some of it has been Lovely and I taking turns at the piano, or playing duets. Pupstar, of course, assumes her position on the dog bed that stays underneath the piano and snores along to the music. She loves it under there.

We have decided against having the holiday open house we had been planning. The food and cleaning wouldn't be a problem. I can do some each day, utilize the freezer, and been ready. Plus, I figured out that with the menu I was planning, I could do the whole event for under $150. Because I'm cheap that way, and we have a Trader Joe's here now.

The thing was, there was so much work for Guy to do to get ready for it. I would rather spend the holiday season with Guy than spend it watching him come home from work and then do home repairs all evening and weekend. He already works 50-60 hours a week. Even though he can only get paid for 40, he says that he has a job to do, not hours to fill. God bless him. We are hoping that they will give him some of those hours back as comp time when the baby comes. However, he is enjoying what he is doing so much, that he probably won't want to take too much time off anyhow.

Rambling today, I see. So no open house yet. It's time for him to take a break on the house, even though it's not completely done. He needs a break.

He mentioned doing it in the summer when Bird gets baptized. That is, if Momma can travel by then alright. That might be a nice time. Or, we still haven't had that "wedding" that we had thought about. There is still an unworn dress hanging upstairs and a tux that would look smashing on my husband. There is a date at the chapel that we have paid for. And we sure wouldn't mind standing up and sharing our love all over again. A reception here would be nice and save money.

I've gone from weepy to cheesy. Much better in reality. Although much more cheese and I'm going to start annoying myself.

And for all the supportive comments on Friday, thank you. You were right. Apologizing for a misunderstanding with a true friend does go a long way. That, and having said friend be a generally awesome and understanding person in the first place.

For anything else that sucked that day, it gets a big fat shrug of the shoulders. I know who loves me and cares about me. Anyone else doesn't matter. A waste of time and energy on an overly hormonal day. It's a bit like gum in the bottom of your tennis shoe. It's annoying, and you are sorry it's there, but it's nothing you can't scrape out with a bit of patience and the right tools. Plus, you probably stepped in it along the way getting somewhere that you are glad to have ended up, and even if you just leave it alone, it eventually gets old and crusty and disintegrates on its own.

I'm totally patient. I have great tools. And I love where I am, not matter what gunk there was along the way.

Labels: Family, Friends, Gratitude, Guy and Me, Lovely, Random Thoughts

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

slouchy DATE:Sunday, December 9, 2007 at 1:31:00 PM EST This is so wise. And practical. And just -- great.

I like you, friend. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Maddy DATE:Sunday, December 9, 2007 at 7:42:00 PM EST Sometimes it's best to just take a back seat for a while.
Best wishes

This is my calling card or link"Whittereronautism"until blogger comments get themselves sorted out. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Fancy Pants DATE:Sunday, December 9, 2007 at 10:23:00 PM EST I thought hat this was a post about a bed and breakfast after I read the title. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Bubblewench DATE:Monday, December 10, 2007 at 7:38:00 AM EST That sounds like a great day. I"m glad the sun came back out for you. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

the new girl DATE:Monday, December 10, 2007 at 8:12:00 AM EST those hormones are no joke, friend. Glad that you're feeling better.
xo ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Traditions adjusted DATE: 11/25/2007 10:41:00 PM ----- BODY:

Thanksgiving weekend was wonderful. We had two dinners; one with Papa, Boo, and Pilot, and one with Lovely. Duplicated right down to the sparkling punch, appetizers, and the table setting. It's important to us that she knows she is missed when she isn't here. It's also important to us that she never feel guilty for having a good time spending holidays with her mother's family too. Having a replay of Thanksgiving day is just a small way of letting her know.

One reason I love Thanksgiving so much is because after Thanksgiving, I can officially start celebrating Christmas. We decorated our trees today. One in the living room and one in the dining room. The living room one is the silver and blue tree. The tree I get anal about and move around decorations to be just right. The tree where even the presents have to match.

The dining room tree has multi-colored lights and all of the random ornaments. There are ornaments from my childhood, and ones from Guy's childhood. Some of his mother's ornaments are tucked safely in a Victoria's Secret box, which he and I both get a good laugh about. Our pasts, brought together on one tree.

He said his mother would have loved that tree. I'm so glad.

My grandmother would also love that tree. It has just the right amount of holes and missing branches to be a tree that needed to be loved. And it has her old tree topper, proudly crowning the tip top of the tree.

Guy teases me about my love of tradition during the holidays, but today he confessed that he loves it. He said it reminded him of his mother, and that he was glad Little Bird would have a mom who was a little nutty for the holidays. I'm pretty sure he was being sweet.

Juggling Christmas Day traditions will be a challenge when Little Bird is old enough to start understanding what is happening. Every other year, Lovely will be with us on Christmas morning, and every other year, not until Christmas evening. We will have to have two traditions. You can't replay Christmas like you can Thanksgiving, so we will just have to have two traditions.

But it's like she and I decided on Friday this year while celebrating Thursday's holiday. It's just a date on the calendar. The holiday is the time whenever you celebrate it. She is a smart one, that kiddo.

So I'm learning to be flexible in my expectations. This year, we didn't actually get the trees until Saturday morning because Guy needed to lay tile in the foyer on Friday. We didn't actually switch out the everyday dishes with the holiday dishes until Saturday because technically, it was still Thanksgiving at our house.

And that's okay. Shoot. Thanksgiving being my favorite day of the year, I guess you could say that I'm pretty lucky to have it last twice as long. And I'm definitely lucky to have this wonderful family to share my holidays with.

Labels: Family, Lovely

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Steph DATE:Monday, November 26, 2007 at 6:45:00 AM EST You are indeed wonderfully blessed.

AND.. I could HUG you for this post! Livs dad and I split holidays. I get her for Christmas Eve/Christmas one year and then New Years Eve/New Years the next. We, too, will have to have 2 traditions.

Its good to realize that the holiday isnt about a set day but about being with your family and loved ones. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Jenn DATE:Monday, November 26, 2007 at 8:49:00 AM EST I'm so happy for you; that you have so many things to be thankful for.

It is much deserved. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

slouchy DATE:Monday, November 26, 2007 at 9:18:00 AM EST There is so much love and caring and tenderness in this post.

I'm so glad that it was a wonderful Thanksgiving. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Candygirlflies DATE:Monday, November 26, 2007 at 11:54:00 AM EST You are such a wonderful mother already, Canape... Your family is so very lucky to have you.

xo CGF ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Ally DATE:Monday, November 26, 2007 at 5:07:00 PM EST I love how you demonstrated your love for Lovely by treating her to a duplicate Thanksgiving dinner. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Stella DATE:Monday, November 26, 2007 at 8:15:00 PM EST What a wonderful post! Your little bird and lovely are so blessed to have you and Guy! They must know that they are so loved!

She is quite the smart cookie!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

katy DATE:Tuesday, November 27, 2007 at 2:45:00 PM EST I love that our Christmas is spread out for a week. We get together with my parents on Christmas and then do it all again when my brother can come from Indiana and then again when my sister can make it in from N.J. It makes for at least a week of getting together with family and three times the Christmas candy! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Jenn DATE:Wednesday, November 28, 2007 at 11:56:00 PM EST Lovely sounds positively charming. Bird is so lucky to have a sister like her!

Family is the key. Not location or date. Being together is definitely what matters!

Your blue tree is so pretty! ----- --------