AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Savoring DATE: 1/19/2010 10:30:00 AM ----- BODY:
The silence doesn't mean much. It's just me turning inward a little, focusing on the job I have to do in the next couple of weeks. Focusing on the tangible now.

There was drama on the interwebs, and I knew that my emotional state and my big mouth needed to take a break. Step away for a little bit so that I could not waste my energy on fighting a battle that would soon dissipate into thin air as people simply moved on from it.

Besides, I have a job to do.

Week 37 presented with contraction after contraction. My face broke out, my tummy was upset, and I felt ready. So ready that I almost said "yes, come on" to my heart friend who I would love to be here for the birth. I'm glad I didn't though, because my littlest is still tucked warmly inside my belly, waiting on just the right moment to appear.

Week 38 presented with hardly any contractions and the energy to get some things clean around here. Kevin helped me with the kitchen, even cleaning off the bookcase which until now was simultaneously displaying my favorite Gail Pittman pieces, his favorite power tools, and a pound or two of dust. I am so happy to have it back to being pretty.

Week 39 is here. My littlest is a little less active; he tends to squirm most when I'm trying to sleep of course. I am peaceful. He will get here, one way or another, and within the next three weeks. I'm comfortable with all of the midwives. I have my bags packed. I have wonderful friends who are standing by to help us.

I'm into savoring.

Savoring each nursing session with Little Bird, as I don't know when it will be his last time not to have to share me. Savoring each morning that I get to roll over and lay on Kevin's chest while we snuggle and listen to the chit chat over the baby monitor. Savoring each turn and stretch that I feel inside me as I remind myself that this is what life is about now. No matter what parts of me remain - musician, arts advocate, teacher - the parts I love most are wife and mother.

The last days as a family of four are precious to me. I'm savoring them as best I can because once we become that family of five, I know that it will immediately replace these days as the best days of my life.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous mama DATE:Tuesday, January 19, 2010 at 12:34:00 PM EST the last days as the only boy, the youngest boy, the baby were the hardest for me. all i could think about was "what am i doing to him?!"
what i WAS doing was giving him the best present he'll ever get.
which is what you are doing, friend.
savor these last days. be peaceful. get centered.xo ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Convertible Girl DATE:Tuesday, January 19, 2010 at 1:46:00 PM EST You are such a smart mama -- savor away! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Melissa DATE:Wednesday, January 20, 2010 at 2:11:00 PM EST Savor every minute of it because it's easy to get caught up in the "ugly" stuff. Deep breaths and enjoy these last days being preggers. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Magpie DATE:Wednesday, January 20, 2010 at 2:45:00 PM EST Savoring is good. Much luck in the next endeavor. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous whymommy DATE:Wednesday, January 20, 2010 at 10:11:00 PM EST Savor, savor.

It sounds delicious. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Becky DATE:Thursday, January 21, 2010 at 10:19:00 AM EST I admire you lady!! You are an amazing woman!! Praying for you and your little one. I can't wait to "meet" him. Love and hugs to you girly! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous myrelish DATE:Friday, January 22, 2010 at 6:45:00 AM EST Stunning post. Your enjoyment and anticipation is beautiful. Good luck with all the excitement that is headed your way. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Марина DATE:Sunday, February 28, 2010 at 6:22:00 AM EST www.dentistsurgery.com
Looking up for the information for a paper on teeth diseases I came across dentistsurgery.com site. The information presented there is indispensable: 5 main teeth diseases described in each detail with pictures and advice how to prevent them! My paper was the best one in my group! ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Don't take that tone with me DATE: 11/04/2009 07:00:00 AM ----- BODY:
It was a look and tone I was used to getting at the OB's office. It was what initially turned me off on their idea of care in the first place. I was surprised to get it from a midwife yesterday.

It has occurred to me that it might be me. I know, big fat duh. I don't mean though, that it is all me. Just that I might be a little overly sensitive at times (insert the raucous laughter of my husband here). Even so, that look and tone irk me.

The head cocks to one side. The eyebrows raise. The back of the pallette raises and they start their next sentence with "You knoooooooow, you are going to have to . . ."

Dude. I really really hate that.

Yesterday it was in regards to tandem nursing and making sure that Little Bird knows that when the baby comes, Mama's milk is for him.

Fine. Valid point. But my issue is that I've ALREADY BEEN THINKING ABOUT THAT. I don't need the cock and eyebrow. I don't need the tone of "I'm sure you are a moron who hasn't done any of your own preparation." I don't need the assumption that because you are my healthcare provider, you are a deity and need to preach to me.

Sensitive? I suppose so. It just bugs me.

There could be a much better approach. The question could be posed, "Have you thought about how you will help Bird understand what the baby needs when he gets here?" or "Do you think you will have any issues with Bird's nursing once the baby is here?" Something along those lines would start the same conversation, and would also validate the fact that I'm not a dumb ass.

Did I say any of that though? No. I'm such a weakling in an exam room. I should have said something. Instead I just reminded her that Bird is not even two yet, but that yes, we were reading books about new babies and talking about how he will have to share the na-na's because the baby will need them.

It felt like this midwife was telling me not to tandem nurse though, and that really surprised me. Last month, the midwife I saw practically gave me a bear hug when she asked how long I had nursed Bird and I said, "You mean this morning? About 10 minutes." She was really supportive of tandem nursing.

In the end, I guess I just have to stop being so damn sensitive and stop caring what anyone else thinks. It's not that I mean to care - I get a few hours away from it and realize that I've been wasting a bunch of time caring. It's stupid.

I'm going to make decisions that my OB wouldn't have liked. I'm going to make decisions that the midwives won't like. I'm a middle of the road mama, what can I say?

But the head cocking, eyebrow raising, here comes a lecture? I can totally do without that from anyone.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous slouchy DATE:Wednesday, November 4, 2009 at 8:23:00 AM EST keep after exactly what you want. don't let them get you down. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Red DATE:Wednesday, November 4, 2009 at 4:04:00 PM EST It is brilliant that you have kept nursing for this long, even more so that you plan on tandem nursing.

You are not the first to tandem with a toddler, so I don't really see the point of the lecture. Women's bodies are designed to provide for two (or more if necessary) children nursing. We rock! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Heather DATE:Wednesday, November 4, 2009 at 8:13:00 PM EST Delurking to send you some support.

I have a 23 month old and a 6 day old and the tandem nursing is going great. My 23 month old is only nursed before bed but he has no issues with the newborn nursing all day long :) I've explained to him that his milk comes at night and that the baby only drinks milk. I was worried how it would all work out but the first night I was home with the baby I was putting my toddler to bed and he said 'my turn for milk'. They are so much smarter than people give them credit for. We have had no issues with jealousy at all, he loves his new brother so much. There is more than enough milk for the both of them, people nurse triplets and more! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Mem DATE:Wednesday, November 4, 2009 at 8:51:00 PM EST if you want to talk about tandem nursing let me know i nursed stella until she was 2 1/2 and at that point henry was 1. henry nurses here and there- i assume he will nurse more when the milk is back and his lil brother is here. infact i anticipate stella questioning why she is the only one not nursing...
and you must tell me which midwife said that! i am appalled! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Marty, a.k.a. canape DATE:Wednesday, November 4, 2009 at 8:51:00 PM EST And today's comments? Remind me of why I love blogging. Thank you all so much. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Susie DATE:Friday, November 6, 2009 at 10:02:00 AM EST I know plenty of folks who have done the tandem nursing thing and it has worked. Usually my friends who have done it have just let the newborn nurse first and the toddler waits. There WILL be enough milk. And besides, even if you were not planning on tandem nursing - this is not the time to wean and make such a big transition. You do what works for you - your OB and your midwife do not live in your house or nurse your children. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous whymommy DATE:Friday, November 6, 2009 at 8:09:00 PM EST Agreed. I like that you know what you want, and you know what your children need. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: You have to cut that out DATE: 6/23/2009 05:04:00 PM ----- BODY:
Yesterday, we went in for our "nurse talk" where a patient history is taken and the nurse talks to you for about an hour about the rules. Nurse Kathy was nice about Little Bird tagging along with us. She wasn't so nice when she chuckled each time she said the word, "mature." Apparently referring to my age was the funniest thing she had done in a long time.

Little Bird climbed up in my lap near the end of our talking to and asked to nurse. Nurse Kathy asked how long he had nursed, and Kevin said that it wasn't a past tense thing. I said he still does, and she raised one eyebrow at me.

She said, "When are you going to cut that out?"

"When he's ready."

Then she put her professionally medical foot down and told me that I had to stop nursing my child. The doctor would tell me, and I needed to go ahead and do it now.

I just smiled.

The thing is, I had been sitting there thinking to myself that this could be easy. Just stay here at this OB practice and have a baby the way most of America has a baby. It's what I did last time, and Bird turned out just fine. Sure, some of the doctors and nurses annoy me, and it's complete overkill, but it would be the path of least resistance and familiarity.

Then I was shaken back into reality. That nurse, with her eyebrow raised in disapproval, was a good reminder of why I'm breaking up with my doctor. Maybe not at my next appointment, but soon.

After all, I'm a "mature" mother. I'm making informed parenting and birthing decisions. I'm done having doctors roll their eyes at me while I'm in labor. I'm done having nurses raise their eyebrows at me.

It's time for a change.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Janice Le DATE:Tuesday, June 23, 2009 at 5:04:00 PM EDT oh i just realized you have a blog! lol...maybe b/c i haven't read the entries leading up to this dr visit...but why is this nurse telling you not to bf?!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous toddlerplanet DATE:Tuesday, June 23, 2009 at 6:52:00 PM EDT Cra-zee.

Yeah. Okay. So yeah.

That's totally unprofessional ... and uninformed. Plenty of women tandem nurse for years without harm to their babies. There's extra attention that needs to be paid, sure, but surely you're bright enough to figure that out?

Buh-bye, doctor's office. Hope you find a good birthing center or midwife or (gasp) other doctor soon. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Marty, a.k.a. canape DATE:Tuesday, June 23, 2009 at 6:57:00 PM EDT Janice, I wish I knew why. I should have asked, but I just wanted to make a graceful exit. I knew that if I got into a "discussion" about it with her, things would get heated.

I'm going to bring it up when I see my OB in a week or so. If she doesn't support me, then that will definitely be my last visit, whether I've found someone else by then or not. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Convertible Girl DATE:Tuesday, June 23, 2009 at 9:49:00 PM EDT Ugh. Wish I had a great OB that I could recommend without hesitation, but the one I loved best is in G'bro.

You're the mama. You trust yourself. The rest of them can go suck on it. Or not, as they prefer ;) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Magpie DATE:Tuesday, June 23, 2009 at 10:32:00 PM EDT Yah. Sounds like you may need a new practice. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Becki DATE:Tuesday, June 23, 2009 at 11:21:00 PM EDT This pisses me off every time I think of it!

Right now, you've got time and you've got options. Good luck finding what's best for you and the bean! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Stella DATE:Tuesday, June 23, 2009 at 11:26:00 PM EDT That's terrible. I am so sorry that you had that experience! Things like that make me so sad because people like that give such a bad name to the doctors and nurses that try to really respect family's choices!

I am so glad, though, that you're going your separate ways and doing this your way!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Thursday, June 25, 2009 at 1:40:00 PM EDT Yeah.. you do need to change. No way any doc or nurse should ever treat you that way. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous @sweetbabboo DATE:Thursday, June 25, 2009 at 2:28:00 PM EDT Hey, the gyno nurse just told me today that IF I were to get pregnant, I'd have to cut out the BFing too. What's up with the U.S. being so squeamish about BFing. That's what they're for and the World Health Org RECOMMENDS BFing until 2 years. Ugh.

You are right to say good bye. Are you thinking about going the more alternative birthing center route?

-Abby ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous AcadeMama DATE:Saturday, July 4, 2009 at 1:19:00 PM EDT I totally heart your decision Marty. While pregnant with my third daughter, I broke up with my OB, who had previously done an okay job delivering my second daughter. But, after several rude remarks and a general sense of not giving a damn how much time I spent in the waiting room, or that I preferred not to have my cervix checked when there was no medical reason for doing so, I broke up with him. Women have been having babies without MDs, making their own decisions about nursing and birthing and all sorts of stuff for a long time. You'd think that one day they might just realize that we have a choice in our medical care, and it doesn't have to be them (whoever them happens to be for you).

Great move for following your instinct!! ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Little Bird makes friends DATE: 5/06/2009 05:18:00 PM ----- BODY:
We've been in sunny Florida. Kevin's aunt/godmother lives near Sarasota. Little Bird and I had never met her, so it was high time for us to make a trip.

It didn't look good last week. First I realized that I had booked our flight for PM instead of AM. That put us in Florida a little past midnight with our 15 month old. How fun does that sound? Then I couldn't remember which car rental I had reserved a car with, and we hadn't received an email confirmation. So after many frustrating phone calls last Tuesday, we decided to try and get on standby in the morning and I found we had a reservation with Alamo.

Flying with a 15 month old in lap is an adventure. You really need 2 laps for said 15 month old, so I was glad Kevin and I always had seats together. Also? Still nursing that 15 month old was a lifesaver. That "neh-neh" really kept Little Bird happy on take off and landing.

For the most part though, Little Bird was an excellent traveler. He has this really cool mix of wanting to be with Mama and Daddy, but at the same time, being very curious about the people around him. He will smile at a stranger, play peek-a-boo with them, or keep waving until they just have to smile back. It doesn't matter what they look like or how old they are.

The older hippie sitting across the aisle from us on one leg of the trip became fast friends with Bird. Saying their goodbyes, Bird waved enthusiastically, and Professor Surf told him, "Goodbye little dude. Go doing something great one day."

And considering how my child can draw a smile out of everyone he sees, what I wish I had said to him was, "He already has. He creates joy."

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Convertible Girl DATE:Wednesday, May 6, 2009 at 8:13:00 PM EDT He sure makes me smile -- and Pippi, too :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous pastormargaret DATE:Wednesday, May 6, 2009 at 9:39:00 PM EDT Finally a blog. I miss this link when you don't have time to write. Yes, Little Bird does, indeed, create joy. My heart is full of it! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous whymommy DATE:Friday, May 8, 2009 at 10:26:00 AM EDT Yeah!

Awesome, awesome response.

I love the picture ... how did Little Bird like the sun and sand? ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous toddlerplanet DATE:Saturday, May 9, 2009 at 10:31:00 AM EDT P.S. I'm with Momma on this ... where go the blogs these days?

Miss you. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Wednesday, May 20, 2009 at 12:04:00 PM EDT He sure already does... ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: There will be rainbows DATE: 3/20/2009 08:08:00 PM ----- BODY:
I finally watched The Business of Being Born. I have both been looking forward to it and avoiding it all at the same time. I was pregnant with Little Bird when it was in theaters around here, and I wasn't brave enough to go and see it. I knew the basic message was in the over medicalization of birth, and I really wanted to stay with my OB. For some reason, I thought that she was wonderful and would make rainbows appear at Bird's birth.

If she had been at Bird's birth, then maybe she would have. Since she wasn't, we'll never know.

Instead, Dr. Jackass attended Bird's birth.

There is one thing I will not do, and that is question the way Bird came into this world. He and I got him here just like he needed to arrive.

However, there are things I don't have to do again, and won't be doing again. They are as follows:
There are other options. I am capable of birthing my babies. I will make choices out of confidence and not fear next time. I will not second guess my ability to nurse my babies.

I will be strong, prepared, and accepting. My baby and I will make our own rainbows.

Now, I just need to stay pregnant.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Stella DATE:Friday, March 20, 2009 at 10:22:00 PM EDT Marty,
This line:
"There is one thing I will not do, and that is question the way Bird came into this world. He and I got him here just like he needed to arrive." Was perfect to me.

I had so many expectations and ideas both before and during my birth experiences about how I wanted things to go and be and I had to let go of each and every one of them.

Our children came into being exactly as they were meant to and you put it perfectly! Thank you

I CANNOT believe he rolled his eyes at you. I would taken my spread eagled feet slammed them into the sides of his stupid little head! ;) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Magpie DATE:Saturday, March 21, 2009 at 10:05:00 PM EDT I saw that movie not so long ago - it made me sad, in the way it made me revisit my rather awful birth experience. It's a good movie, I think, full of good information that ought to be better disseminated.

I hope that you stay pregnant next time. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Convertible Girl DATE:Sunday, March 22, 2009 at 12:34:00 PM EDT I need to follow your advice and not question the way my children came into this world. C-section was definitely not what I envisioned, but it happened (twice). And even though I know I should just be happy with healthy babies (and healthy mommy), I still struggle with the memory of birth as surgery.

Good for you for accepting what happened and for taking the power to change things for next time. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Monday, March 23, 2009 at 8:00:00 AM EDT I'm routing for you honey!

I would have punched Dr. Jackass in the face, or at least unleased the dogs on him. Jerk. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous @sweetbabboo DATE:Tuesday, March 24, 2009 at 7:58:00 PM EDT I love your take on it. When I saw it I remember being outraged about what I didn't have with Linus's birth. But when I think back, most of it was pretty damn pleasant despite being strapped to a bed. I know that IF I have another child there are some things I might want to try to do different but being high-risk kind of limits the options. And really, it was those doctors who helped me to stay pregnant and give birth to my son and therefore I shouldn't be using my hindsight to try to question the details. He is here, he is perfect and healthy, and honestly I don't really give a damn about how he arrived.

Plus, I have to give mad props to the L&D nurses at Duke. One of mine actually stood up to the doctor and told him that I had a birth plan and we would be following it to the best of our ability. I could have kissed her.

Here's hoping that your baby and rainbows happen soon.

-Abby ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous the new girl DATE:Thursday, March 26, 2009 at 8:54:00 PM EDT I have never understood the thing about men feeling called to be ob/gyns. I know that is a GROSS GENERALIZATION and it's politically incorrect and I'm SORRY if someone's dad/brother/husband/whatever is an ob but I just never wanted a MAN all up in that business.

I loved this post, though, and my rant above is pretty much unrelated. The eye-rolling got me going, though. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Oh, Gawd. Bewbs again. DATE: 3/10/2009 09:04:00 PM ----- BODY:
For those of you who know me in real life, I hereby warn you that I am about to talk about my boobs. Again. You may click away now, or read at your own risk.

Catherine breastfed another woman's child this weekend. If you don't know the story and would like to, it can be found here. It's not directly related, but it's got me thinking.

I have two breasts. My momma has one. My friend has none. I still have two that I should be grateful for.

They are mine. I grew them. I have lived with them for almost 25 years now. For most of those years I hid them. I wore baggy shirts and sweaters that were too big. I was uncomfortable with the attention they garnered.

It was more attention than I ever received myself. In fact, this space is even overshadowed by them, with the most searched hits coming from "ginormous boobs" or some incarnation thereof.I suppose that is also because I continue to talk about them.

The first time my husband, then new boyfriend, saw them in just a camisole, he blurted, "My God! They're ginormous!" I quickly put the baggier shirt back on and slunk down in my seat. I wanted the focus to remain on me, not them. Betrayed by my breasts once again.

Only I wasn't. After the initial shock, he went right back to talking to me. My face, rather. He held my hand, put his arm around me, all without copping that oops-feel that even some of my friends' husbands have been guilty of copping. Later, I learned that Kevin's reaction to the girls and their girth was in fact just shock. He actually just considered it a big bonus and gave me reason to believe it too. And since my mother reads this blog, I will stop there.

After I became a mother, I expected to have an epiphany about my breasts. Learn the "real" purpose they serve. Open the heavens and sound the trumpets: breastfeeding. My boobies were created to be a food source to my babies. I would magically begin to respect them and they in turn would learn their place in this world. Which was about four inches lower than I had hoped for, but whatever.

The thing is, I don't think the heavens opened, and I don't think they were made just to feed babies.

You see, I have these hands. Two of them. They type, they play the piano, they change diapers, they bathe a child, they prepare meals, they clean this house. They do a multitude of things for every different part of my being. The writer, the musician, the mother, the wife, all use these hands.

It is the same with my breasts. They are functional; feeding my child. They are sexual; just ask my husband. They are decorative; clothes fit better with them than without them. They are all of these things to me.

The boobies belong to me. If I want to use them to feed my child, I can. If I want to use them to pump milk for another child, I can. If I want to use them to nurse another child, I can. If I want to use them to try and sell albums, I can. If I want to use them to reach orgasm, I can. If I want to use them to keep my toes warm, I can in another few years, I'm sure.

They belong to me. Yours belong to you. And no one. No one should be telling us what we should or shouldn't be doing with them.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous @sweetbabboo DATE:Tuesday, March 10, 2009 at 10:14:00 PM EDT You know what? I've decided to stop blogging. I'm just going to link to your blog every time you post anew. Then I'll be all set b/c for some reason you keep publishing posts that are exactly things I've been thinking. How the hell do you do that?

I too was hoping for the breastfeeding boobie epiphany that never came. I've always been a hater of my boobs (they are the definition of ginormous) but I'm at least beginning to have days that we actually get along. Of course, my sexy red Bravissimo bra helps with this.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is: You rock those boobs, girl and I will try to follow your lead.

-Abby ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Two Lines On a Stick DATE:Wednesday, March 11, 2009 at 1:13:00 AM EDT I totally laughed out loud. I don't think your boobs will be down to your toes EVER. At least I hope not. In the most non-sexual way. Um, I'm stopping now... ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Amy DATE:Wednesday, March 11, 2009 at 8:44:00 AM EDT Amen.

And LOL about keeping your toes warm. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous No Minimom DATE:Wednesday, March 11, 2009 at 8:44:00 AM EDT I'll tell you the same thing I told my best friend in 7th grade who was already a C cup and was several cup sizes larger by the time we graduated high school: If you don't need all that, I'll gladly take some off your hands! ;-)

I wholeheartedly agree with this post. There is no way on the green green earth I would let a stranger nurse my baby, but I wouldn't feel weird at all doing that for someone else (maybe that's hypocritical, but there it is). Regardless of my personal views, it's not my place to say what someone else can do with their body! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Magpie DATE:Wednesday, March 11, 2009 at 10:32:00 AM EDT Well said. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Convertible Girl DATE:Wednesday, March 11, 2009 at 1:50:00 PM EDT Wow. There is so much news out there that I would miss if it weren't for you.

As for the ginormous boobs, I'm with No Minimom -- now that I'm not nursing, I think I'm a whatever-comes-before-A-cup. So I say enjoy them, even if you have to hike them up a bit first! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Nita DATE:Wednesday, March 11, 2009 at 8:04:00 PM EDT Damn straight! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous whymommy DATE:Wednesday, March 11, 2009 at 9:12:00 PM EDT Toes! Warm!

I totally forgot what else I was going to say. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Susie DATE:Wednesday, March 11, 2009 at 9:14:00 PM EDT Love it! Love it! You can nurse my baby anytime you want - do you want the 2:30 am, 3:30 am, 4am, 4:45am, or 6 am? He calls them "muggles." ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Becki DATE:Friday, March 13, 2009 at 11:31:00 PM EDT Very true words :)

And glad your toes will be warm ;) ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: In case you aren't following me on Twitter . . . DATE: 1/07/2009 02:56:00 PM ----- BODY:
Leave it to me to need to eat my words more quickly than I can even swallow.

Remember this post?

And this one?

Well I had better get over myself, and fast. I had better find that baby love again, and I had better get used to sharing my time with more than just Christopher.

There's another egg in the nest where Little Bird was. A bun in the oven. Knocked up. With child. A Littler Bird. Whatever you want to call it.

I wasn't going to mention it, because you know, what if something happens? Then Kevin reminded me that if something happens, I'm going to want to talk about it, and not pretend like it didn't. So, here I am.

All pregnant and pausing.

I didn't run and grab the camera when the second line appeared this time. I didn't go jump into bed with Kevin and bounce him awake with the glorious news. I didn't celebrate right away. One day, I might feel guilty for that.

Instead, I peed on a stick and left it to go get Little Bird up and in a clean diaper. I sang the "Good Morning" song to him and cuddled the sweet spot on the back of his head that I love so much. I thought about it just being the two of us. I thought about nursing him. I thought about how not ready to wean he is.

Then I carried my little boy back into the bathroom where I found two lines. Faint, but there. Two of them. And I cried.

For some reason, my first reaction was that I was robbing Christopher of some of his babyhood. I immediately felt like it wasn't fair for him to have to share me while he was still so young. I was and am scared that this will terminate our nursing relationship before he is ready (although I've since picked up a copy of Adventures in Tandem Nursing and feel better about that).

Now that I have had a couple of days to process though, I realize that this next baby will always have to share me. He won't get any "just him" time. And Christopher? He is so little that he won't remember having me to himself - unless you count subconsciously, which my mother pointed out he would always subconsciously remember. I'm ignoring that for now.

Now that I've processed a little more, I realize that Little Bird and Littler Bird stand a good chance of being really good friends. I realize that we have decreased the number of years in diapers here. I realize that it's all going to be alright.

We wanted another one, and neither one of us is getting any younger. We obviously weren't preventing another one, excepting that I was counting and had been fairly regular until last month. I don't really care for the term "surprise baby." He isn't a surprise, just his timing is.

He is wanted and loved. Now or whenever.

And with that, I may have to go puke.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Jen DATE:Thursday, January 8, 2009 at 10:07:00 PM EST WOW. wow. WOW! congratulations!!!! these miracles join us in their time, not ours. blessings to you and this pregnancy, what wonderful news! you made my day :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Stella DATE:Thursday, January 8, 2009 at 10:17:00 PM EST That is just so wonderful!!

Congratulations!!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous gail DATE:Thursday, January 8, 2009 at 10:21:00 PM EST I just think it's gonna be awesome. Really. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Erika Jurney DATE:Thursday, January 8, 2009 at 11:13:00 PM EST What fantastic news -- congratulations! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous @sweetbabboo DATE:Thursday, January 8, 2009 at 11:27:00 PM EST I know I've already said it like a million times, but... CONGRATULATIONS! I'm so excited for you. It will work out perfectly, everything will be fine, and STOP worrying...just be happy. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous No Minimom DATE:Friday, January 9, 2009 at 7:36:00 AM EST OMG! OMG! OMG! So excited for you and the family! And I'm sending all kinds of good prego vibes your way. May your pregnancy be completely uneventful! ;-) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Friday, January 9, 2009 at 7:52:00 AM EST holy wowzer! I saw your tweet and thought I was dreaming!

I'm so happy for you! Congratulations.

Lots of love and hugs to you and the family. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Anonymous DATE:Friday, January 9, 2009 at 8:06:00 AM EST CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! I will pray that your new bird is healthy!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Kelly DATE:Friday, January 9, 2009 at 11:21:00 AM EST Congrats!!! I'm so excited for you! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Amy DATE:Friday, January 9, 2009 at 12:02:00 PM EST I'm thrilled for you. Just thrilled.

Bird will be a fantastic big brother. He'll show Littler Bird how to nurse like a pro, and how to giggle until mommy can't stand the cuteness any longer. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Jessica DATE:Friday, January 9, 2009 at 12:16:00 PM EST I love it. :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Nita DATE:Friday, January 9, 2009 at 12:35:00 PM EST Yay!!!! I am just so darn excited for you and Little Bird.

Congratulations :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Stimey DATE:Friday, January 9, 2009 at 6:08:00 PM EST I am so thrilled for you. And speaking as someone whose first two kids are 19 months apart, you're right about that friend thing. I love having three kids all squooshed in together because they are super buddies. It's great. Your kids are lucky. :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Jenn DATE:Friday, January 9, 2009 at 8:27:00 PM EST Congratulations!!! Wonderful news!!! They will be great friends!

Littler Bird will be here before you can blink...the second pregnancy seems to go by in a blink. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Anonymous DATE:Friday, January 9, 2009 at 8:32:00 PM EST Congratulations! Lots of prayers for a happy, healthy nine months. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous myrelish DATE:Saturday, January 10, 2009 at 5:05:00 AM EST Congratulations! Perfect timing Littler Bird. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous WhyMommy DATE:Saturday, January 10, 2009 at 7:53:00 AM EST What wonderful news! I'm so happy for you all! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Sara DATE:Saturday, January 10, 2009 at 12:33:00 PM EST That is so amazing!! Congrats! I am lovin' your blog and found you via Deep South Moms Blog. I am a new contributer so I'm getting to know "my girls" who will be writing along side me.

BUT this isn't about me, it's about you and your big announcement! Fantastic! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous FishyGirl DATE:Saturday, January 10, 2009 at 4:11:00 PM EST What wonderful news - Congratulations!

My first two are 22 months apart, and they are the best of friends (and now 7 and 9 years old) and always have been. You and Little Bird will do great. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Mrs. Chicken DATE:Saturday, January 10, 2009 at 7:05:00 PM EST We planned for Shaggy, and The Poo was nearly four, but I had a very similar reaction to yours.

But now I can't imagine life without my boy. Many congrats to you! You are blessed, indeed. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Susie DATE:Saturday, January 10, 2009 at 8:14:00 PM EST Babies do keep their own schedules, don't they?! Congratulations.

BTW, I completely freaked out (and not in a good way) when I found out I was pregnant the second time. And the third, well, let's just say, I don't even know how that happened. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Daily Verses DATE:Saturday, January 10, 2009 at 10:33:00 PM EST Oh gosh, I so know those feelings of thinking you are robbing the older sibling of babyhood. It is tricky and emotional to think through all of this, but it really does all work out in the end, and there truly is so much room in your heart to fall in love with a 2nd child. I doubted and fretted until the day G was born, and now... well, just ask my little mama's boy. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Steph DATE:Sunday, January 11, 2009 at 2:20:00 PM EST Congrats!!! That is wonderful!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous J from Ireland DATE:Monday, January 12, 2009 at 5:33:00 AM EST Congratulations. I have a similar gap between 2 of my kids and I had similar feelings too. Now they are 11 and 13 and they are great friends. I wish you the very best and all the rest you can get. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Lisa DATE:Tuesday, January 13, 2009 at 10:39:00 PM EST Instead of a "surprise" baby, I prefer to use the term "Bonus"! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Lizzy DATE:Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 8:27:00 PM EST late to the party, but i'm twitter lame and on blog hiatus...

but: WOOT!

may this be a swift and uneventful and joyous, enjoyable, and lovely 10 months. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: World Breastfeeding Week DATE: 8/01/2008 04:34:00 PM ----- BODY:
Christopher is six months old now. I've already been asked how long I plan to breastfeed him, and someone yesterday commended me on having nursed him for so long.

While I will accept the praise because it wasn't easy, I'm not ready to start hearing that six months is a long time to nurse. I feel like we just got the hang of it, and I'm not about to stop now.

It's funny. So many people were supportive of my attempts and encouraged me to keep trying. Don't give up. All of them had their different time frames too. The first one I heard was two weeks. Then it was six weeks. Then four months. All of those deadlines passed without me feeling like we were getting it.

Truth be told, I don't know when it was. But I know that he was at least five months old.

It took us at least five months to "get" breastfeeding.

In those five months, he hurt. He had gas. He couldn't tolerate the dairy I was eating. He didn't like having to work at pulling out my flat nipple. He didn't give up.

In those five months, I hurt. I had continual milk blisters. My nipples were cracked and bleeding. The flat nipple ached from the tissue being broken as Christopher worked to make it work. It wasn't at all fun. I didn't give up either.

It was worth all the effort.

This week is world breastfeeding week. I'm so glad that I am still a nursing mom and that my child is still breastfed. I'm glad, and I'm proud.

If you want to find out more about La Leche League and World Breastfeeding Week, you can click here.

And if you want to join in spreading the word with me, then just grab that button and write a post. Then come on back and join us here with Mr. Linky.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous toddlerplanet DATE:Saturday, August 2, 2008 at 1:22:00 AM EDT Whoo-hoo!

So, so important. I'm so glad that you did this! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Susie DATE:Saturday, August 2, 2008 at 10:05:00 AM EDT I am still nursing my now two year old. The response I get is "You still let him do that!!!!!" I don't know wean I'll when him - but that is a subject for my own blog post... ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Susie DATE:Saturday, August 2, 2008 at 10:05:00 AM EDT I am still nursing my now two year old. The response I get is "You still let him do that!!!!!" I don't know when I'll when him - but that is a subject for my own blog post... ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Becki DATE:Saturday, August 2, 2008 at 2:36:00 PM EDT I didn't even know about it - thanks for pointing this out! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Daily Verses DATE:Sunday, August 3, 2008 at 9:46:00 PM EDT http://jcmama.blogspot.com/2008/08/world-breastfeeding-week.html ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Magpie DATE:Sunday, August 3, 2008 at 10:14:00 PM EDT Six months is great, and I know all about that "we just got the hang of it". Mine was the same, and then she liked it and nursed until the night before her third birthday, and still talks about it from time to time.

Kudos. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Kelly DATE:Monday, August 4, 2008 at 1:24:00 PM EDT Thanks for posting about this! I had no idea there was a World Breastfeeding Week! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous No Minimom DATE:Tuesday, August 5, 2008 at 11:19:00 PM EDT Congratulations are definitely in order! The APA recommends 1 year and the WHO recommends at least 2 years, but to continue as long as it is "mutually beneficial" after that. So you just keep on with your bad self for as long as you want.

I can't believe I forgot about this week! I will post something tomorrow. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Clifford DATE:Wednesday, August 6, 2008 at 12:53:00 AM EDT I have completely no idea why I felt inclined to comment on this post. But hey there, breastfeeding uber733ts! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Amy Marie DATE:Sunday, August 10, 2008 at 11:29:00 AM EDT Good for you and your little guy. I was a career mom who waited until I was 30 to have my daughter. I was ambivalent about breastfeeding until I actually had her and saw the benefits. She just weaned at 3 1/4 years old. I took tons of crap - but it was the best decision I ever made. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Awareness DATE: 6/24/2008 10:33:00 AM ----- BODY:
Some of the many things Christopher has surely thought while nursing in the past week, all while never letting go of my nipple:

"HEY! What's that over there behind me?"

"HEY! Where is that sound coming from?"

"HEY! I think Dad just got home!"

"HEY! The dog just walked in!"

"HEY! Another dog just walked in!"

"HEY! I know the dogs are still in here, but I can't seeeeee them from here!"

"HEY! Did you know I could turn my head back and forth like this over and over again?"

"HEY! I can hold that boobie up all by myself now, Mama."

Bless his little heart. I am still glad we didn't give up. Nursing the distractable baby? Just a new challenge.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Two Lines On a Stick DATE:Tuesday, June 24, 2008 at 11:12:00 AM EDT Oh, the distractable baby. I know how that is ;) I think that is what finally caused B to start losing interest. It was much easier to hold a bottle while looking all around the room. :eye roll: ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Andria and Co. DATE:Tuesday, June 24, 2008 at 11:19:00 AM EDT lol! Don't you love it?! I think that's why Blake got used to walking while nursing... the constant change in scenery. Or ceiling. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Patience DATE:Tuesday, June 24, 2008 at 2:39:00 PM EDT What?!? You don't use your breasts to sell guitars?!? ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous @sweetbabboo DATE:Tuesday, June 24, 2008 at 2:56:00 PM EDT So true! We're sticking with it too. At least as long as we can. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous K2 DATE:Tuesday, June 24, 2008 at 5:18:00 PM EDT Good stuff! Pook is at the stage where he thinks it is funny to twist and turn over while we are changing the diaper. Poop on the bedspread is not fun. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Charlie Blockhead DATE:Tuesday, June 24, 2008 at 11:33:00 PM EDT Congratulations on your recent honor of being named a Best Of Blog winner. The winner buttons have now arrived and all you have to do to receive yours is send an email to my address below with the subject line of “Winner’s Button”. I will start sending these out this week.
Thank you,
Bill Beck
Best Of Blog Awards
Email:bloggerbeck@aol.com ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Susie DATE:Wednesday, June 25, 2008 at 5:09:00 PM EDT Oh, yes, I remember that well. Just know that this too is just a stage and will subside. If it is really bothersome, you can break his suck so that he learns quickly that the milk only comes when he is facing the breast. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Because rock stars love boobies DATE: 6/23/2008 06:30:00 PM ----- BODY:
There weren't many benches at the NAMM show. There were more babies than I expected. And there were 100 times as many tattoos as I expected.

At one point, Christopher needed to eat. He was tired and hungry, but Guy and Lovely were still looking around. No problem, I said. I would just go find a bench, sit down, nurse him, and let him nap in my lap for awhile.

Only there were no free benches.

I thought for sure that if I walked up with a crying baby, parked my stroller next to a bench and stood there for a minute, that someone would get up and offer me a seat.

Not a chance.

My victims were two old dudes who were enjoying their pre-lunch Bloody Mary's. They looked up at me as if my child was disturbing their hangovers with his crying. I turned my back a little more to them so I could aim the wailing more in their direction.

Five minutes this went on. I stood there shushing, bouncing, and rocking my baby, waiting for anyone, particularly the men closest to me, to get up and give me a seat.

It never happened.

So I sat on the ground against the wall, popped out my boobie and started to nurse him.

HOLY HELL! A TIT IS ON THE LOOSE!

Those men jumped up with their drinks faster than if I had poked them with a branding iron. One of them diverted his eyes and asked if I would like to have his seat.

Um, no. I had just gotten settled down on the ground and the baby was finally content and nursing. Had you asked five minutes ago? I would have said yes.

I'm exaggerating a little bit. I didn't exactly pop my boobie out. I have become very discreet at nursing in public. The only reason those men even noticed was because the crying had stopped. It wasn't like I was flashing a big ole milk dripping titty all over the place.

Because Lord knows, showing breasts at NAMM is a terribly distasteful idea.

Oh wait a minute, no it's not.

There were DOZENS of women who were walking around showing more boobage than I was while nursing. Boobs are the number one marketing tool of music merchandise. You know, because they have something to do with guitars?

The only thing, by the way, that boobs have to do with guitars is if you buy an Ovation. The back is rounded, and it rolls up over big boobs leaving you playing it like a levitating steel string guitar. I'm not sure how that would help their marketing though.

But please. PLEASE. Would someone please explain to me why it is alright to show boobs hanging out left and right and up and down when it is to sell guitars, but it is not okay to flash the tiniest bit of breast when feeding your child?

I was going to post pictures as examples and link to some of the companies who use breasts and guitars as phallic symbols as marketing. Then I reconsidered giving them the traffic.

It did feel pretty empowering though, watching all the guys walk by and get all flustered when they realized I was breastfeeding my child. I laughed out loud when one young guy actually asked the hootchie he was walking with if I was allowed to do that in there. Seeing as how I could tell you what kind of wax she had last gotten due to the length, or lack thereof, of her skirt, I don't think she was exactly the person to be asking your questions of appropriateness.

My breasts have always drawn unwanted attention from men. This time? At least the last laugh was on them. I finally don't care who looks at them or for how long. Besides, they are just breasts. What I really don't want you looking at is my belly or the bags under my eyes. So stare away if you like. I'll even tell you what size they are.

They serve a purpose now. A beautiful and miraculous purpose.

And it isn't selling guitars.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Stella DATE:Monday, June 23, 2008 at 10:50:00 PM EDT You are SO RIGHT! I'm not sure why I never thought of that before. I'm not against breasfeeding in public but I never even stopped to think about all those women who walk around looking a lot more provocative than a woman feeding her child in a completely natural way!

You totally should have told those old guys that you didn't want their seats but you'd take their Bloody Marys! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous whymommy DATE:Tuesday, June 24, 2008 at 1:06:00 AM EDT Right on!

(Or whatever the hip phrase is now. That sounded so terribly old.) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Andria and Co. DATE:Tuesday, June 24, 2008 at 10:13:00 AM EDT Rock on with your bad self!

I hate the double standard, also. Seriously- it's okay to flash your boobs on 6th street here, but try to discreetly nurse, wearing a nursing wrap no less, in the mall and you get stares and snickers.

Effers. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous @sweetbabboo DATE:Tuesday, June 24, 2008 at 2:55:00 PM EDT Hilarious! Sometimes I think it's fun just to upset them. Of course, that's just the mini-revolutionist in me. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Kelly DATE:Tuesday, June 24, 2008 at 5:48:00 PM EDT Good for you!! I hate that double standard! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Clifford DATE:Wednesday, June 25, 2008 at 12:47:00 AM EDT M was having her own personal Mardi Gras at NAMM...woohoo! Did the baby get any beads? Le Crewe De Bewb on parade.

I'd like to cast my lone and apparently dissenting vote in that breasteses still have an aesthetic function, even after having children. If a guy stares, it's

a) because he's a guy and is too dumb to realize what he's doing (you gotta realize that seeing a beautiful girl is like throwing a stun grenade at your average guy. Takes us a sec to get our senses back), and

b) he found something worthy to look at. Take it as a compliment. 99% of the time, it is intended as such.

There's nothing wrong with a cute woman showing a little cleavage. It's not like a guy has ever looked at his wife's nice legs and said, "Yeah man, she can climb the HECK outta some stairs with those things."

And M. Girlfriend. About the dress code...you were at the Wal-Mart of career musicians. What kind of clientele did you expect? I do apologize for the decidedly non-chivalrous behavior showed you, baby or no baby. The guys should have been falling over themselves offering you, or any other girl, their seat. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Susie DATE:Wednesday, June 25, 2008 at 5:04:00 PM EDT Loved the comment on the chick's skirt - When dressing, one should always look in mirror and ask herself, is this a TMI? Also really loved Clifford's comments. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: And the rice milk ain't bad either DATE: 4/15/2008 12:29:00 PM ----- BODY:
Somewhere along these last couple of weeks, breastfeeding quit being a chore. I stopped crying over it. I stopped watching the clock, dreading the next time I would need to nurse my child. He stopped screaming and thrashing about while nursing. He stopped needing to be nursed several times an hour during parts of the day.

I meant to blog about it. Come here and share with you the success story. To be honest, it feels so natural now that I just forgot about it.

Then, this weekend, that all came crashing down.

Bird was screaming and thrashing again. He had painful gas that I couldn't seem to help him release. He needed to be nursed, but when I nursed him, he chewed and twisted my nipples until I could barely take it anymore. His diapers were full of green mucous poop, and he was generally miserable.

I remembered then, that I needed to write about the success. Having a weekend like that made me so grateful for the peace we had been experiencing and the lack of discomfort in my child.

I tried my best to figure out what I had eaten that had the evil dairy in it. All I could come up with was a handful of potato chips with some cheese flavoring. It didn't seem like enough.

Yesterday afternoon it hit me. Bird's nanny came an extra day last week because of my students' recital Friday night. I hadn't pumped enough milk for the extra time away, so she pulled some out of the freezer like I had instructed her to do weeks ago.

The milk from the freezer was from when I was still eating dairy.

There is no guessing now. I don't have to just wonder if cutting out the dairy was what helped him or something else. I think it is pretty obvious.

Today, Bird is back to what has become his normal bubbly little self. He is nursing without hurting me, and I'm nursing him without hurting him.

For everyone who told me their story
For everyone who told me not to give up
For everyone who told me that I was doing a good job
For everyone who told me it just takes time
For everyone who told me that it would get better

Thank you. You were so right.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Andria DATE:Tuesday, April 15, 2008 at 1:05:00 PM EDT I'm so glad that things are going better! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Beautifully Unique DATE:Tuesday, April 15, 2008 at 1:19:00 PM EDT I am so happy for you dear. And happy for Bird too. BFing is not easy, but you have made it through the toughest part. Keep on keeping on, you're a great momma!!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous jennifer DATE:Tuesday, April 15, 2008 at 2:26:00 PM EDT That is fantastic, I'm so glad it's getting easier! Sorry about the dairy issue, but now at least you know your sacrifices are not all for naught. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Stella DATE:Tuesday, April 15, 2008 at 2:32:00 PM EDT So wonderful to hear of your success!!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous whymommy DATE:Tuesday, April 15, 2008 at 2:46:00 PM EDT Wonderful! Whoo-hoo!

But rice milk? Try blue diamond brand vanilla-flavored almond milk and see if you guys can handle it ... no dairy; no soy; nuts, but that means protein for you, which rice milk doesn't have. Try it; you might like it!

I am so happy for you. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Rachel DATE:Tuesday, April 15, 2008 at 4:13:00 PM EDT Woo Hoo... You go girl. Now your need an awesome breastfeeding blinky on the side of your page that shows how long you have been doing it!!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Ally DATE:Tuesday, April 15, 2008 at 5:11:00 PM EDT This brought tears to my eyes because I'm just so happy for you. Plus I experienced a little PTSD from my own long-ago breastfeeding woes. It's just so great when it works like it's supposed to. I'm glad you've crossed over to the other side! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Becki DATE:Tuesday, April 15, 2008 at 9:22:00 PM EDT So glad things are going better!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Steph DATE:Tuesday, April 15, 2008 at 10:05:00 PM EDT Im so happy it's going well and that you figured out it was dairy!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Mamma DATE:Tuesday, April 15, 2008 at 11:28:00 PM EDT Phew! It does become such second nature, but darn it's sure hard to get there sometimes. I'm glad you're both learning to love it. There's something powerful about being the one who can provide for your child what no one else can. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous TheMusingMommy DATE:Wednesday, April 16, 2008 at 1:05:00 AM EDT Congratulations! This is wonderful to hear that things are better. I don't know you, except through your blog, but I'm proud that you've stuck with this and have remained determined and focused. Good job! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Wednesday, April 16, 2008 at 10:22:00 AM EDT This post makes me so super happy. I'm glad it worked out. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Daily Verses DATE:Wednesday, April 16, 2008 at 10:15:00 PM EDT Yay! I'm so happy to hear this update. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous AcadeMama DATE:Thursday, April 17, 2008 at 11:35:00 PM EDT So you got what you wanted all along: a booby baby!! :) Congrats on the success. I'm hoping you story and experience will stay in my mind when I try to breastfeed my next (and last) baby. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Two months DATE: 3/27/2008 03:47:00 PM ----- BODY:
Yesterday Christopher turned two months old. In a way it seems like he has been here forever. In another way it seems as though I still have no idea what to do with him.

There are still days that I do nothing that doesn't involve him. Nurse him. Change him. Hold him. Stare at him while he sleeps. The miraculousness of it all has certainly not worn off yet.

Then there are days that I relish in the time the nanny is here. If I'm not teaching while she is here, it becomes a delightful challenge to see just how much I can get done in the moments that she is looking after Bird. Dinner is down to a science, and loading the dishwasher takes all of about 45 seconds now. It's a game.

At his two month checkup yesterday, the PA said he was gaining weight just beautifully. He's growing just fine she said. She also said that she didn't think I needed to be using formula. She thinks I need to cut the dairy out to help his gas, and that way, he will be able to stay at the breast long enough to get full without thrashing about and mutilating my nipples.

I cannot describe to you how much dairy I eat. Cheese and I are best friends, as is the big glass of milk I drink before dinner every night.

However, I chose this PA because she is also a lactation consultant, and I'm choosing to listen to her. Besides, I really should cut out the ice cream and it certainly won't hurt my waistline to cut the cheese and milk.

We went ahead and got his two month vaccinations on schedule. With the traveling we expect to be doing for Guy's job, it is important that Christopher be vaccinated on schedule.

I knew that I would cry when they gave him his shots. I just didn't know I would cry before they gave him his shots.

The needles were so big, and he was so happy before she stuck his little leg with them. He was having a great time kickypantsing on the table, making the paper rattle. His eyes were wide and he was all grins.

Then she stuck him.

He looked stunned. Then she stuck him again. He looked up into my eyes, turned purple, jutted out his bottom lip, and began to scream.

I was already crying by then, so when the nurse was done, Bird and I just held onto each other and cried.

Yesterday and today he has had a low grade fever, tons of gas, and been generally feeling miserable. Somehow he still manages to smile at me some. I can tell he feels badly, but he still is cracking a grin or two every now and then. Tonight, he gave his Papa big full face grins for the first time. You could see a little puddle on the floor where Papa's heart had just melted.

Two months and it's all starting to feel real finally. I don't feel like I'm just getting through minute by minute or hour by hour anymore. This feels like my life. I'm not sure if that makes sense or not. What I mean is that at the beginning, it felt like I was just going through the motions, trying to make it from one moment to the next. Now, though, it feels more a little more comfortable. More normal.

I have a hard time remembering life without Guy and Christopher. I know it happened. I know there was another life before then. Another marriage. Another possible ending. That otherness is what doesn't feel real anymore.

I was made to be Bird's mom and Guy's wife. I think I've known that for longer than two months, but these past two months have certainly solidified it for me.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous ImpostorMom DATE:Friday, March 28, 2008 at 8:26:00 AM EDT Oh those first shots are terribly hard. We are approaching the 15 month ones and I hear that's the last until 4 years old.

I remember that look of shock on Boog's face like it was yesterday. The shock of it all followed by the crying. Poor Bird, luckily he's already forgotten. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Jessica @ A Bushel and a Peck DATE:Friday, March 28, 2008 at 8:52:00 AM EDT What a lovely post. And I know you have had some hard times breast-feeding, but when my kids were babies, I would feed them WHILE the nurse was giving them the shots. I got them latched on, then when the nurse stuck them, there was a second of stillness, but they were usually too busy eating to get very upset. If I couldn't nurse them WHILE they were getting shots, I nursed them immediately after--I just sat in the exam room for an extra 15 minutes or so. Just an idea... ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Mrs. Chicken DATE:Friday, March 28, 2008 at 10:00:00 AM EDT I was just saying that same thing to my husband, that I don't remember him or The Poo not being in my world. Being my whole world.

So glad to hear things are getting easier for you and the bird. The two month mark is a big deal, for you both.

Blessings to you! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Andria DATE:Friday, March 28, 2008 at 11:12:00 AM EDT Happy two months little guy! Those shots suck. :( ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous whymommy DATE:Friday, March 28, 2008 at 1:28:00 PM EDT Beautiful. Way to go, Mom! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Sudiegirl DATE:Friday, March 28, 2008 at 2:28:00 PM EDT look at that handsome laddie...i just wanna hug that boy! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Steph DATE:Friday, March 28, 2008 at 4:16:00 PM EDT Yay for a great 2 month checkup and not needing formula! Shots are hard on both baby and mama! (((HUGS))) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Jess DATE:Friday, March 28, 2008 at 7:55:00 PM EDT He's lovely.

Shots suck :( ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Jenn DATE:Friday, March 28, 2008 at 10:58:00 PM EDT He's lovely! :)

Shots do stink. :(

It took me several months before I realized that no one was going to come get Miss Bee. There was a surealness to everything. Then one day it all clicked. Now...it's something new every single day. Goodtimes! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Lauren DATE:Saturday, March 29, 2008 at 4:39:00 PM EDT Believe it or not, the shots seem to get easier as time goes on. Brady didn't even cry at his last two vaccinations (...um and neither did I).
Congrats on a happy and healthy two months Mama and Lil Bird! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous useless_rambler DATE:Sunday, March 30, 2008 at 1:40:00 AM EDT YEA!!!

So glad to hear it's starting to come together! It's wonderful, isn't it??

You are still doing awesome, you!!!

(I have to admit that I did giggle just a bit when I read "cut the cheese" tee hee - hey! it's late and I amuse easily :p) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Imstell DATE:Sunday, March 30, 2008 at 12:43:00 PM EDT Canape,
Congratulations on making through the worst of new motherhood into the Months Of Joy. I loved this age in my babies.

I haven't had time to read the other posts but I'll offer the advice of giving Bird Tylenol before a visit that includes shots. All the better to be proactive in the pain management dept.

I feel for you on the no dairy issue. My BFF had to completely eliminate it for both of her babies. But it really does help. Your a better Mom than I am... I fear I would never have given up ice cream for bfing... ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Clifford DATE:Sunday, March 30, 2008 at 10:38:00 PM EDT Poots are natural. And fun at parties. Dairy onward I say! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Ally DATE:Monday, March 31, 2008 at 12:06:00 AM EDT Oh, he is so beautiful.

The shots! That is so hard! Poor little baby.

And you? Giving up cheese. That is sacrificial love right there. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Melissa DATE:Wednesday, April 2, 2008 at 11:52:00 PM EDT My daughter had terrible gas and was miserable with it. I started giving her the infant gas drops on the advice of my pediatrician.

The two upsides to this was first, it really helped her gas. Second, she's so used to taking meds from a dropper that I have no problem giving her Infant Tylenol when she's feeling crappy after getting her shots.

p.s Milk is one of my best friends. Get the drops, keep the milk! :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Thursday, April 3, 2008 at 1:51:00 PM EDT "I was made to be Bird's mom and Guy's wife."

Some people wait a lifetime to find that. I'm really glad you didn't.

I have happy tears in my eyes. Awesome post. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Tiffany DATE:Friday, April 4, 2008 at 10:21:00 PM EDT Two months? Wow. Unbelievable.

Shots stink. We have 9 month shots in a few weeks, I am not looking forward to it.

We had to give up dairy when P was young. It is tough to do, but I found it was worth it. Prayse went from gassy all the time to very limited. She was a whole new baby!

When you do some research you'll find that there is very little you'll miss. Rice cheese is yummy, Lactaid milk although expensive tastes like the real thing, Breyers has a very good French Vanilla ice cream that is lactose free...

Just my opinion :) ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: One of the family DATE: 3/24/2008 11:08:00 PM ----- BODY:
We just got back from Savannah. The whole family got to go down, see the city, and meet some of my relatives. The ones where Christopher's middle name came from.

They are my mom's family. My grandmother's sister is still alive and just turned 90. She and her late husband were like parents to my mother. Her red velvet cake is a legend in our family, as is her strength and grace.

They are what you would call country folks. That doesn't mean that they are backwards or uneducated, it means, quite literally, they live in the country.

My great aunt's land looked very different on this trip. The cow barn that was a stone's throw from the house is gone. As is the chicken coop. There is nowhere for pigs right across the road, and I couldn't see where there was a fishing pond now. There is no more farm.

Her oldest daughter is like a sister to my momma, and so even though we are cousins, I have always called her "Aunt." She takes in family like her momma did for my momma. My cousin J always had a home there when he needed one, and Uncle C was like a father to him.

Extended family in the very literal sense.

Although I've always loved them, I haven't been very close to them. Mainly because of the distance, but I think also because some of my cousins expect me to be snooty like my grandmother was to them. They expect me to look down my nose at them.

Funny thing is, the opposite is true. I look up to them - especially the women - more than any other family I have.

I spent a good deal of the visit it seemed, with my shirt pulled up and a little bird attached. This opened the conversation about nursing with my aunts. It turns out that the doctors told both of them, my great aunt and my Aunt J, that their milk was "too weak" and wasn't enough nourishment for their babies.

My great aunt fed her babies with glass bottles filled with boiled water, Carnation evaporated milk, and Karo syrup. There was commercial formula around for Aunt J's babies.

It made me wonder though, what exactly the doctors meant by "too weak." Was there too much foremilk? Were the babies just not gaining weight fast enough? Did they never seem to get full?

Whatever it was, my aunts determined that it was passed through the family, and I was the same. My milk just isn't strong enough. Aunt J was so relieved when I whipped out 2 ounces of formula on Sunday afternoon when Bird just wasn't going to nurse but was obviously still hungry.

She told him it was about time his momma gave him some real food.

Guy held his breath. He thought I would lose it.

But I didn't. I just smiled. Who am I to say? Maybe she knows something I don't. Well, she certainly knows plenty I don't about a lot of things. It was funny, what she said, and she wasn't judging me, she was just teasing me. They are a family of teasers. Hard teasers.

So there it is. Apparently, it's a Carter thing. Weak milk.

I could care less if there is science behind it. I could care less if it's even true.

I just thought it was cool to be included in the lineage. I liked them considering me to be one of "their women." I was proud to be another generation for whatever reason.

It is, however, too bad that I didn't get the hair gene. My grandmother, my great aunt, and my Aunt J didn't and haven't grayed. My grandmother's hair was a beautiful chestnut brown until the day she died at 97. My aunts' hair is lighter, but none more gray.

They are beautiful women, and I'm proud to be one of them now. And thank God for Enfamil, because the whole Karo syrup thing just sort of freaked me out.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Mamma DATE:Tuesday, March 25, 2008 at 12:51:00 AM EDT How cool to be part of a lineage. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Candygirlflies DATE:Tuesday, March 25, 2008 at 12:46:00 PM EDT You are a good woman, Canape, and a super momma. You're doing just GREAT. I'm so proud of you.

And, so glad you had such a wonderful Easter!

Love to you-- xo CGF ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Andria DATE:Tuesday, March 25, 2008 at 1:20:00 PM EDT Karo syrup?! That, and things like putting babies to sleep on their tummies... It's a wonder anyone survived infancy back then. Neat story! Happy Belated Easter. :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Steph DATE:Tuesday, March 25, 2008 at 9:15:00 PM EDT Yay for being included. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Becki DATE:Wednesday, March 26, 2008 at 12:24:00 PM EDT My grandma said something about the evaporated milk and Karo syrup too...hmm...
Sounds like a great visit - how lucky you all are to be extended family :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Thursday, March 27, 2008 at 7:18:00 AM EDT That is super cool to be part of that matriarchal line... wonderful!!

The Karo thing didn't freak me out because my mom used to do that for us too... very odd!

You are amazing and totally awesome! Great post. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Ally DATE:Monday, March 31, 2008 at 12:09:00 AM EDT What a powerful group of women!

Both of my g'mas told me that their docs said their milk was "too weak," too. I don't know if that was just the line doctors gave back then, or what the reasoning was. Wild.

Karo syrup. Wow, who would guess? ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: One small step DATE: 3/20/2008 11:05:00 PM ----- BODY:
Today I nursed my child in the waiting room at the car dealership. There were exactly four men, one woman, and one toddler in the room with me. Two of the men had just separately asked me how old Bird was and commented on what a good baby he was. That is because he had been asleep for almost an hour while we waited on the Jeep to be serviced.

Then he woke up. He wasn't supposed to do that. We were supposed to be in and out of there in time for me to get back home, collect my 83 pillows and lay down to nurse him. Unfortunately, there were more things that needed to be done than just the oil change I expected, and we were stuck there almost 2 hours.

Bird needed to eat.

So I fed him. I slouched down in my chair, getting as prone as I could without falling out of it. I put a blanket over my shoulder, which really was more a polite gesture than a shield, since I haven't yet mastered the trick of getting him latched on without both hands and staring down, waiting for the biggest open mouth he makes.

It wasn't the most comfortable thing I've ever done, but it worked alright. He fussed a little bit until I found a good spot for him, but then he did his bit. And when he was done, he came out from under his blanket and smiled at me. I felt like we had really accomplished something.

It seemed silly at the time - for me to be so proud of myself and Christopher for being able to nurse in the waiting room. However, tonight, as I read over the comments on the J&J post (Thank God some people still know where their caps lock button is. I was beginning to think no one knew how to use it anymore in this overly polite blogworld. I LOVE ME SOME CAPS LOCK), it occurred to me that it's not silly at all.

Bird and I have worked our butts off to even still be breastfeeding. Yes, STILL, at 8 weeks. I've been pretty tied to the house due to my insecurities of nursing and more recently, the need to be prone while doing so. I think that has something to do with how pissed I am at the audacity of suggesting a mother could just leave her 8 week old at home for a few days and pump. Or just don't go. JUST STAY HOME where you belong.

Today though, Bird and I joined the ranks of all the moms and babies before us WHO WILL NOT just stay home because they are nursing. We didn't go sit in the john to do it. We didn't move to the corner of the room to do it. We didn't blush. We didn't apologize. We just did it, and honestly? It wasn't that big of a deal. No one really cared.

It was only a big deal for me. It means that I'm one step closer to being able to get out more. I need that. All moms need that.

That, and the freedom to scratch that itchy CAPS LOCK pinky when you can't think of the right words, only some capitalized ones, to use.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous WhyMommy DATE:Friday, March 21, 2008 at 1:10:00 AM EDT Awesome! Go, you! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Anonymous DATE:Friday, March 21, 2008 at 8:26:00 AM EDT Congrats to you! With my first daughter, I could only manage to nurse her prone. I got so I really liked it-- it was a good excuse to go have some private time and lie down at the same time. I did eventually manage to nurse her sitting up, but it always worked better lying down. Turns out, I think, that the BABY liked it that way.. because with my second child, I NEVER nursed her lying down, she didn't settle down for it. In the rocking chair with the boppy. That's what worked with her. Funny. I never could nurse my baby as casually as some-- my friend Molly nursed her son while actively cooking dinner!!!!-- never a possibility for me. I never nursed in public (well, in my car...is that public?) not because I was embarrassed but because I couldn't get it to WORK! ha ha. And I nursed both girls until they were a year old. It really never was particularly inconvenient to remove myself to nurse, it's just the way we did it.
Congrats again on 8 weeks of nursing. Good for you!!!
CB in NY ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Candygirlflies DATE:Friday, March 21, 2008 at 9:04:00 AM EDT YAY, YOU!!

KEEP IT UP!!

XO CGF ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Andria DATE:Friday, March 21, 2008 at 9:48:00 AM EDT You go girl! Go on with your bad self!!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Stimey DATE:Friday, March 21, 2008 at 7:55:00 PM EDT Congratulations! I still remember the first time I breast fed in public. It's a momentous occasion. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Steph DATE:Friday, March 21, 2008 at 8:14:00 PM EDT WOOHOO Bird and Mama!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous useless_rambler DATE:Friday, March 21, 2008 at 9:20:00 PM EDT Yea!!

I remember how accomplished I felt the first time. :)

There'll be no stoppin' ya, now!!!

You're doing great :)

j ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous labugga DATE:Friday, March 21, 2008 at 9:21:00 PM EDT Not a small thing at all, I'd say. Go you!! No, wait--GO YOU!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Clifford DATE:Friday, March 21, 2008 at 10:01:00 PM EDT For the record, not that you asked me, C...

moi completely supports the rights of a private entity or organization to choose who/what to allow entry or membership. But a "Camp Baby" not allowing babies?

*scratch scratch scratch*

...doth maketh no sense. Something about eliminating your target demographic comes to mind. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Tiffany DATE:Friday, March 21, 2008 at 11:04:00 PM EDT That is fantastic and definitely something to be proud of! Good for you chica! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous FENICLE DATE:Saturday, March 22, 2008 at 10:18:00 AM EDT Good for you guys!!!!!!

I had the same public feeding fears during the 6 weeks I breastfed our son. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous gail DATE:Saturday, March 22, 2008 at 11:26:00 PM EDT You, well you rage on with your bad self!

Smooches. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Jess DATE:Sunday, March 23, 2008 at 2:01:00 PM EDT That's so awesome! Congratulations! The first time NIP is completely nervewracking and such a "WOOOHOOO" moment at the same time. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Monday, March 24, 2008 at 6:07:00 AM EDT That must feel great! WOO HOO! Awesome. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous TinaGirl DATE:Monday, March 24, 2008 at 5:39:00 PM EDT I'm so proud of you. I know too many moms who gave up on Breast feeding not because it uncomfortable (which many times it is) or their milk supply changed so they felt they didnt have enough milk (I nursed more, I made more or I took fenugreek) but because it was too inconvienent. What could be more convienent then perfectly formulated milk at the correct temp whereever you go? I do know that nursing in public for the first time was an amazing thing to me too (although I didn't do it often, I wasn't afraid to go out anymore). All those feeling of accomplishment came flooding back reading your post. Thank you for triggering those sweet memories. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous ImpostorMom DATE:Tuesday, March 25, 2008 at 11:14:00 AM EDT YAY! And you SHOULD be proud. That is is wonderful accomplishment. I remember the first time I breastfed Boog in public. We were at the mall and he woke up and got fussy, what else was I to do. I was nervous but I did it and I was very proud of myself and so was my mom who was with us. It gets easier and easier the more comfortable you get. Good for you! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Becki DATE:Wednesday, March 26, 2008 at 12:26:00 PM EDT You go, girl!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous the new girl DATE:Thursday, March 27, 2008 at 12:03:00 PM EDT Yay!!
That's a GREAT ACCOMPLISHMENT, CANAPE!

(Caps lock for enthusiasm!) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Ally DATE:Monday, March 31, 2008 at 12:12:00 AM EDT Oh man, have I been there! This is a nursing milestone to be marked, that is FOR SHO! Good work. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Thinking twice about Johnson & Johnson DATE: 3/20/2008 09:26:00 AM ----- BODY:
Late to the game again. I stay about a day or two behind in blogland these days. But if you haven't heard, Johnson & Johnson is holding a little getaway called "Camp Baby" for the influential mommybloggers. People you read probably got invited and will have a lovely time at some sessions on how to braid hair and parallel park their minivans. Whatever.

Aside from the carcinogens that Johnson & Johnson likes to use in their products, I now have another reason to hate them.

Julie, over at Mothergoosemouse, was dis-invited from this little soire once they found out she was planning to bring her baby. To Camp Baby. Go figure.

Oliver was born just a few days before Christopher and is breastfed.

So no Camp Baby for Julie.

I do not understand though, all of the remaining willing participants. Sitting around and writing about how uncool it is that they dis-invited a nursing mom from Camp Baby is one thing. Everyone still showing up and having a lovely time at hair braiding and minivan parking? That shows them nothing. That shows them that they can totally get away with this.

We are so quick to boycott Myspace and Facebook when they censor pictures of breastfeeding mothers. What about now?

Julie is very polite and states that she understands that J&J is hosting and setting the rules, so she will play by them. Well, the same thing can be said of Facebook. It's their website, so play by their rules and don't post breastfeeding pictures.

I really hope that at least a few of Julie's friends and moms who care about breastfeeding reconsider Camp Baby. And while you're at it, be sure to read some of the ingredients of the J&J stuff you might be slathering all over your baby. J&J and their products are all full of crap.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous mothergoosemouse DATE:Thursday, March 20, 2008 at 1:02:00 PM EDT Canape, thank you. But I honestly want my blogfriends to attend and have a great time.

First, they deserve it (and I wish more of them could be invited). But also, I'm willing to give Lori - J&J communications - a second chance. She really seems to care about rectifying the situation and has taken full responsibility for this situation.

Now Facebook, on the other hand, is led by an arrogant, immature, unresponsive CEO who has demonstrated little to no interest in taking responsibility for his mistakes. I'm not missing my Facebook account one bit. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous MB DATE:Thursday, March 20, 2008 at 4:32:00 PM EDT I am with you, Canape!!

It will be interesting to see what kind of blog posts come out of those attending the event. I think you would feel obliged to say nice things about them after going on an all expenses paid trip. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous twolinesonastick DATE:Thursday, March 20, 2008 at 6:35:00 PM EDT This is the first I've heard about the whole thing... I think I've been really out of touch lately :( ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Christine DATE:Thursday, March 20, 2008 at 7:41:00 PM EDT I am going, and am looking forward to the retreat - That is what it is, after all. I have a 7 1/2 month old (as well as five older kiddos) who I will be leaving with my very willing husband. I will also be pumping the entire time I am gone, as Baby Noah only drinks breastmilk. J & J have made it clear that we are not at all required to blog about the event. I'm sure they do know however, especially now, that "mommy bloggers" TALK... Look at all of the exposure they are already getting!! (Yes, even from YOU!) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Mamma DATE:Thursday, March 20, 2008 at 11:02:00 PM EDT Some of these companies are having a difficult time figuring out how to approach mommybloggers--that's for sure.

In the meantime, I'm more concerned about the fact that I didn't know about the carcinogens. Going to read now. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Susie DATE:Friday, March 21, 2008 at 4:10:00 PM EDT Canape, Thanks for saying exactly what I was thinking. I don't use J&J products on the kids because of the contents and I tend not to go anywhere my kids are not welcome. We once did not attend a good friend's wedding because I was nursing and the baby was not invited. While I don't think folks should necessarily boycott the event, I do think J&J may want to figure out better ways to handle future events. After all, not planning on nursing moms? That was a silly mistake turned into a PR nightmare. It simply makes them look BAD. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous mamma knows DATE:Friday, March 21, 2008 at 10:11:00 PM EDT What the heck, I HAVE been slathering these products all over my daughter! Did everyone know about this but me?! What are all of you other mothers using for baby soap and lotion? What is safe?!
HELP! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Monday, March 24, 2008 at 6:06:00 AM EDT Very interesting. Was not aware of all that.. and that does strike me as odd that they would not want a mommy to bring their baby. Interesting to see what happens from here. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Where we are today & other randomness DATE: 3/18/2008 10:23:00 PM ----- BODY:
Nursing. Today we nursed. All weekend we practiced getting into new positions. We worked on relieving Bird's gas better. We nursed whenever and however long he wanted to do so.

And things are better.

The poor little dude is such a gulper though. He fills up with gas before he's full of milk, so a few good burps and 20 minutes later, he's hungry again. That works on the weekend, but not so much when I have to work during the week.

So we'll do what we can.

************

Guy finished his cradle and the mattress finally came in. It's really beautiful. He refinished it to match our bedroom furniture and we bought some bedding that also matches the room. Now if we could only get him to sleep there.

He will sleep there for his first stint of the night, but after he wakes up and nurses, I'm not about to try and put him back down. Besides, I really love spooning with my little man.


************

Guy was finally made an official employee today. It only took 13 months, but hey, that's the state for you. He'll be working for the university, and it might just be that I have to root for a team besides Mississippi State from now on. Unless of course the university plays Mississippi State in something, in which case all bets are off. Go Dawgs.

************

Getting back into teaching hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be. In fact, having the nanny here is actually getting me back into my sanity. I have 15 minutes here and there to put on some makeup, put in a load of laundry, pull something out of the freezer for dinner, or just to walk to the mailbox without Bird.

The only part I hate is that Christopher is so much more interactive now. He's actually gotten to the point where he's fun. Smiling, laughing, cooing, and playing - he is more like a little person now, and I find myself wanting him to wake up and spend some time with me. It's okay though. We still have the mornings.

************

I miss my community though. Nursing in prone positions has been a great change for us, but of course, it cuts down on the internet time considerably. There isn't even any one handed typing when you are nursing laying down. Well, not that I've figured out yet.

I miss leaving comments even though I'm still reading. I miss the ladies on my mom's board. I just miss "talking" to people. But I'm doing what I have to do for the moment. Things will change again. Like Susan said the other day, change is the only constant from now on. So true.

************

I wasn't exactly watching the Montel Williams show today, but admittedly, when you don't have cable, daytime TV pickings are slim. So Montel was on, and since that crazy psychic he always has on, wasn't on, I just left Montel jabbering away while Bird and I nursed.

Lo and behold, it was an episode about supermoms, and who was on it but the lovely Liz of Mom 101?

Even though I missed officially meeting her at Blogher, she has long long been in my feed reader, and I was so proud of her today.

I only wish I could have watched more than the first 15 minutes. I'm sure she was great all the way through.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Mamma DATE:Wednesday, March 19, 2008 at 6:06:00 AM EDT Once Christopher is stronger and the two of you are more used to the nursing thing, you'll be amazed at the things you can do while nursing. I used to get my best websurfing done then.

So glad you're finding time to give us updates. I'm really wishing we lived closer--especially now. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Wednesday, March 19, 2008 at 1:41:00 PM EDT Sounds like things are coming along very well. I'm glad to hear it. Think of you daily and how big Christopher is getting! Wonderful!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Gerbil DATE:Wednesday, March 19, 2008 at 7:37:00 PM EDT Going back to work bites... but soon? You'll get the glow of just how freaking excited they are to see you when you get home. Every Day. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous FENICLE DATE:Wednesday, March 19, 2008 at 9:44:00 PM EDT Before you know it, this will all seem like second nature. All so common and easy. You sound like a pro to me! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Mom101 DATE:Saturday, March 22, 2008 at 8:44:00 AM EDT Good news for you - I was only on for the first 15 minutes. Actually, that's good news for me. Because the rest of the show were a bunch of trainwrecks willing to cry on stage. Klassy. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: When laying around isn't lazy DATE: 3/13/2008 10:57:00 AM ----- BODY:
It's 11:00 AM. I'm still sitting in the bed. I have had someone or something attached to my boobs since 9:00. Bird has some gas issues. Possibly reflux. Might explain the thrashing and crying during feeding. The doctor said I just had to be patient and keep holding him to the breast. Let him work out the gas.

It's a new doctor. He's miles better already. Although, it's not like the old doctor made that a challenge of some kind.

My boobs are crying "uncle," and Bird has finally drifted off after an ounce from a bottle.

It's going to come down to time I bet. I just won't have all morning long forever. New doctor says though, that very soon, he should be outgrowing some of that gas and I should notice nursing getting significantly easier.

I like him. He offers hope along with his analysis. I hope he's right.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Steph DATE:Thursday, March 13, 2008 at 8:36:00 PM EDT Im sorry Bird has gas, but glad you have a new dr! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous useless_rambler DATE:Thursday, March 13, 2008 at 11:18:00 PM EDT I'm reminded of those wretched but necessary 'growth spurts' everyone always told me happen around 3 & 6 weeks and then again at 3 & 6 months. Baby would seem just fine one day, then BAM! Linda Blair comes to mind.

What that was supposed to say is that when they *do* go through these growth spurts (and mine usually hit them right around those times), they can seem a bit 'off', and you just can't figure out what might be going on...

Then, all of a sudden, a few days later, you look down at your little bambino and realize that he just grew inches before your eyes!!!

I didn't believe it until I saw it myself :)

Hope all is well... Thinking of y'all :)

j ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous whymommy DATE:Friday, March 14, 2008 at 10:00:00 AM EDT It just does take time. I hope you can give yourself that time, and cut yourself some slack along the way.

Hugs to you both. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Paige Jennifer DATE:Friday, March 14, 2008 at 12:12:00 PM EDT I don't want to disappoint you but I'm 35 and I still haven't outgrown gas. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Gerbil DATE:Saturday, March 15, 2008 at 7:20:00 AM EDT Poor bird. Jacob had gas and reflux, and we kept having to stop feeding and burp. Jacob just plain did better with a bottle of EBM that he did with nursing. Glad you were able to find a new doctor that you like better. The old one still deserves a good wedgie. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Becki DATE:Monday, March 17, 2008 at 8:34:00 AM EDT I hope he's right too!! Glad you've found a better doctor :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Ally DATE:Wednesday, March 19, 2008 at 10:50:00 PM EDT Poor you, and poor Bird. Nursing troubles are the pits. I'm glad you have a new doc who is offering good ideas and some hope. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: The truth DATE: 3/06/2008 09:03:00 PM ----- BODY:
The truth is, it still hurts.

The truth is, I don't love it yet.

The truth is that I wrote this post to remind myself that there was at least that one time that Bird was able to satiate himself to the point of bliss at my breast. Because it rarely happens.

I pump, trying to store away breastmilk for when I start working again in a week or so. I do this after I nurse him, but inevitably, he will wake up right after I'm done pumping and be hungry again. So I give him what I just pumped in a bottle and in turn, have nothing stored for him.

He and I aren't gelling. Our schedules are off somehow. I feel my biggest letdowns when we are out on a walk, or when he is sound asleep. When he is nursing, he gets fussy. He claws at my breast. He thrashes his head about. He pops on and off uncontrollably until my nipple feels as though it's been run through a cheese grater and I have to give up and go get a bottle.

Fixing those bottles makes me feel like the widow that Elijah visited. Her oil never ran out, remember? That's what my milk feels like. I always have just enough to give him, but no more. No extra for when I start teaching. And that has me stressed, unlike the widow who just took it as an opportunity to trust. Not me.

I wanted to be a mom who loved to breastfeed. And I refuse to quit until I've had a more positive experience, but damn. I need some positive reinforcement here.

I keep hearing different time frames.

"Just give it two weeks."

"At a month, you'll see a turn around."

"After six weeks, the two of you will have the hang of it."

"It took six months for my little one to finally get his latch right."

The thing is, I don't know if any of these will be our timetable. If I just knew that there really would be a time when he wouldn't seem to hate it, and I wouldn't be in constant pain, then it would be easier to tough it out. Not knowing though, is driving me crazy.

Days like yesterday and today have me beat. He cries, and so I cry. I cry because he's not happy. I cry because it hurts like hell. He cries because, well, I don't exactly know why.

Don't tell me anymore that "if you do it right, it doesn't hurt." I know that a bad latch will hurt, and I know how to get a good one. What I don't know is how to help Bird understand that if he rolls his tongue all around in his mouth and clamps down with his gums??? That it hurts me very badly.

This is why I haven't been blogging. Because this is all I think about. And it's got to be a boring read by now. But then again, I write because I need to. I need to get it all out.

One thing I didn't know before Bird was that a lot of moms combo feed. That means that they breastfeed and they use formula. I see this as where we are headed, and I'm trying to reassure myself that it's alright. I know that it is - there are women who have been hugely inspirational to me to keep going, and they are combo feeders.

But the stigma. I won't feel like I can put a little ticker under my signature that says how long I've been breastfeeding. I won't feel like I have a "Booby Baby." I wanted a "Booby Baby" so badly.

So we keep trying. And tonight when he is ravenous and I'm exhausted and the milk blister on my right nipple is bleeding again and my left one is as flat as a pancake still? Well, tonight just may be the night I join the ranks of the combo feeders. Giving my child as much breast milk as I possibly can, and then unashamedly giving him the formula he needs to break out of the 10% of weight.

Little skinny 10th percentile Bird. He's a cute little skinny Bird.

Man. I didn't think it would all be this hard.

And for the record? I'm wearing the same clothes now that I put on 48 hours ago to sleep in. Two nights and two days.

Gross.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Jess DATE:Thursday, March 6, 2008 at 9:45:00 PM EST I think you know I understand exactly how you feel. If you ever need to talk about it, you know I'm here to listen. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Anonymous DATE:Thursday, March 6, 2008 at 10:02:00 PM EST When my first son was born, the nurses wanted to bring other mothers into my room to show them how easy nursing was - "he's a Hoover!". Fast forward 29 months, and my second son didn't get it. He'd nurse for ten minutes, fall asleep, and be screaming an hour later. I got mastitis at about 2 months (very painful). I couldn't pump to save my life. Jack didn't sleep thru the night for a year.

The bottom line is, if I had had Jack first, I know I would have given up. And I think I would have been okay with that. But I knew I knew how to breastfeed because Joe had been so successful, so I forced myself to stick with it. (I also consulted a lactation consultant and my earth mother sister who nursed her third child for almost four years....) I'm also lazy and cheap.

Whatever you choose to do will be right for you. Try supplementing; maybe having more time between feedings will help your supply. Is your doctor worried about the baby's weight?

FYI, nothing grosses my children (now 17 and 14) out more than talking about how they both breastfed for over a year...

Thinking good thoughts.

Bobbie ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Heather @36 balloons DATE:Thursday, March 6, 2008 at 10:22:00 PM EST Milk blisters hurt like hell. This third time around is the only time I haven't had one. With my second, her reflux was so horrible I wound up pumping and giving up on nursing. Sucked. With number three, he also had horrible reflux and hated nursing for the most part ...or did just because he had to until like a month ago. So yeah, waiting and waiting for the goodness of it to come is hard. It does happen. Differently with all of mine.

Are you able to nurse laying down at all? Swaddled and laying down? Does he have reflux at all?

Oh and I'll quit the novel and just offer a virtual hug. Thanks for giving voice to the tough parts from another mom who knows some of the many things about bf'ing that just aren't so warm and fuzzy. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous the new girl DATE:Thursday, March 6, 2008 at 10:23:00 PM EST I so wish that I could give you a huge hug (I'd squeeze you real hard). What you're going through is so tough. I remember feeling so frustrated and hopeless intially also.

Is he clamping from the over-active let-down? *kill me for assvice* If so, has anyone recommended nursing in a prone position?

Either way, Canape, I hope that you are able to know in your heart that you are doing the absolute best for your boy, combo-feeding or not. Everyone has a unique time-table, like you said.

But even so, I know it's hard when things aren't as you want them to be.

xo ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Mamma DATE:Thursday, March 6, 2008 at 10:24:00 PM EST Oh honey!! I wish I was closer so I could come over and give you a big hug!!

The thing is you can't pump and feed him at the same time. Pumping only worked for me when I missed a feeding.

I hesitate to offer any advice because nursing is so personal. You're right it can hurt like hell. I definitely cried a number of times just at the thought of whipping my boob out for the pain. Unfortunately, the more you stress out about it, the worse it's going to be. Don't worry about storing milk right now. If you have to give him formula, so be it. I know some folks recommended to me hanging out in bed with the baby for a day and just let them nurse at will. It might work to get you guys in sync with each other. But like I said...I hesitate to offer any advice.

Please email or call if you need to vent or want to talk about it. I've got the saggy boobs to prove that I've been there. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Stella DATE:Thursday, March 6, 2008 at 10:32:00 PM EST Oh honey, I am so sorry you are having trouble with this. It is so hard being a mom, new-old-seasoned- whatever. It's especially hard when you have hopes of how things will work and go and then those hopes are not always reality.
You're doing a really wonderful job. It is not boring to read about what you are going through because so many of us have been there before.
I attempted to nurse both of my children but because of medical issues I was forced to stop. During the time that I was nursing I did end up supplementing because I just wasn't giving them enough. At first, it was hard for me. I wanted, like you, to have the booby babies. It took me time to realize that it was ok perfectly ok for my children to have formula because it meant that they were being sustained and happy. While it was not coming directly from my body as I wanted, it was still coming from me. It was still coming out of my love for them. And It was still all about me nourishing them and feeding them and bonding with them.
You will know what's right. Maybe the supplementing with the pumping will allow for more milk production. Maybe it will give you just a little less to think about that you and Bird will mesh and gel and figure each other out.
I had the hardest time trying to remember that not only was I trying to figure out this crying infant but he was trying to figure me out, too.
It's the not knowing that makes all of this motherhood stuff hard! But you're doing great, really you are. You love your little guy more than anything, that's clear! Just keep up the loving and things will fall into place. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous K DATE:Thursday, March 6, 2008 at 10:38:00 PM EST For the record - I've stayed in the same clothes for 2 days and I don't have a newborn. ;)
SO sorry you're struggling....I know you'll do whatever works for you and Little Bird. I have seen many friends travel this road and it is not the same for any one. I know you will both be ok in the end.
Hugs from someone you don't know....but who wishes you peace. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Sarah and Shannon DATE:Thursday, March 6, 2008 at 10:47:00 PM EST Oh, my heart is going out to you. I know how bad it hurts and what it's like to wonder how long the excruciating pain will last. And I know about the crying. And the doubt and guilt and disappointment. If you want to know my stories, you can email me, but I won't give you that now. I'll just say that it is absolutely okay to feed your baby formula. Really. You and bird will be okay. It is not a weakness or a failure. It is a perfectly valid choice. You will still be a good mother if you give him formula. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous whymommy DATE:Thursday, March 6, 2008 at 10:55:00 PM EST Hey. It happens. Don't beat yourself up over it, 'k?

Breastfeeding is hard. Four weeks, six weeks, whatever your personal timetable turns out to be. It just is. And then it does get easier.

But do what's best for you both, okay? You know, deep down, what that is. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Jennifer DATE:Thursday, March 6, 2008 at 10:57:00 PM EST I'm so sorry you are having such a rough time. I really have tears in my eyes for you. I had two "booby babies", I breastfed my first for 2 1/2 years and my second is now 7 months old and doing well. I hope you hang in there, even if you have to supplement. And if you are out on that walk and you feel a huge let down, pick up your baby and nurse right there. It isn't always easy, especially when you don't feel like you are "in synch" with him. Have you tried taking him to bed with you at night? Lots of babies do their best feeding at night because both they and you are relaxed. I slept and currently sleep with my babies. Maybe wear a sling with him. Mine loved that. You will get through this and be a great momma. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Stimey DATE:Thursday, March 6, 2008 at 11:10:00 PM EST It is so hard. Especially with the pumping. And with all three of my kids, even when they latched properly, it hurt for the first little while.

I also assumed I would be a total breast feeder. But at six months when my middle son lost a couple pounds and it turned out I'd stopped making milk, I didn't have a choice. My qualms about it were sated when I saw how much happier and fuller he was.

I'm not suggesting that you jump right into bottle-feeding. All I'm suggesting is that there is a different combination that works for each pair. You'll find the right one for you. And you and your little one will both end up happy and healthy from it. Just follow your heart. And try not to beat yourself up too much. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Jenn DATE:Friday, March 7, 2008 at 1:58:00 AM EST I know how hard this.

I never considered anything but breast feeding before my little one was born. Unfortunately, we just couldn't get it. We tried and tried (she bit me so hard with those little gums that she drew blood and left full mouth prints - not once but three times!). I pumped and gave her what I could and supplemented for anything I couldn't come up with on my own. After almost four months we were moving to Germany where the power supply would be different (therefore, my electric pump wouldn't work any more) so I had to wean her fully to formula because we just couldn't get it together for breastfeeding.

It broke my heart to not get things "prefect" for her and the way that I'd planned. But, I have a happy, wonderful and outgoing child (oh, and she was also 10th percentile until about 9 months when she just exploded - now she's in the 75th percentile for height and weight!) and a happy Mommy. Our lives don't always go the way we plan; despite our best intentions.

I wish you the best. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous AL DATE:Friday, March 7, 2008 at 4:27:00 AM EST BTDT, I understand how you feel. My dd didn't feed well and I had to quit and go to EPing. I felt the "not gelling" for so long. In retrospect, I wish I had been kinder to myself and combined nursing with formula. I wanted that booby baby so badly too and I never had it. And you know what? When they are 6 (like my dd is now): it doesn't matter anywhere near as much that they were or weren't a booby baby.

Be kind to yourself. You are doing a wonderful job and really truly honestly the first months with a new baby can be the hardest time of your life. Give yourself a pat on the back for all your hard work, make sure it comes in the shape of chocolate or nice cookies though :-) Hard as it may sound, try to get some sleep too. Someone else can take the baby between feeds, at least at the weekend. You'll feel so much better if you get some sleep. (((HUGS))) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous jennifer DATE:Friday, March 7, 2008 at 7:20:00 AM EST Reading this broke my heart, not because you may need to supplement with formula, but because you're hurting. I'm sorry. I truly know that pain, and it's excrutiating. If I could hug you right now, I would. I'd also hold Little Bird for you while you went a took a shower and put on clean clothes. I'd even clean your house and do some laundry.

I'm sorry it's hard right now. I swear on MY CHILDREN that it WILL get better. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Candygirlflies DATE:Friday, March 7, 2008 at 8:27:00 AM EST Oh, Sweetiepie... No one understands how hard it is, better than we do!!

I LOVE what Stella wrote up there:

"At first, it was hard for me. I wanted, like you, to have the booby babies. It took me time to realize that it was ok perfectly ok for my children to have formula because it meant that they were being sustained and happy. While it was not coming directly from my body as I wanted, it was still coming from me. It was still coming out of my love for them. And It was still all about me nourishing them and feeding them and bonding with them."

That was ME, all three times!! The first time was the most difficult decision to make... I, too, wanted desperately to breast feed, but no matter how hard we tried, we just couldn't make it work exclusively. She simply could not latch, and so I pumped and fed her as much as I could, for as long as I could, and supplimented with formula. I felt terribly guilty for a long time, but do you know what? When my babies were well-fed, they were satisfied and happy. And as a result, I became satisfied and happy!! We felt better, we slept better, we relaxed and finally began to bond and settle into a routine.

You are NOT "giving up" or letting anyone down by feeding your baby. It is YOUR choice!! You know what is best, Canape, truly you do. Giving Bird some formula isn't "the easy way out", or anything like that. If it's what you decide to do, then it will be what's best, because YOU are his mama, and YOU know best.

We love you!! You're doing great, honest.

We're all in this motherhood thing together!! Email me if you need a shoulder, or a listening ear.

xoxo CGF ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Anonymous DATE:Friday, March 7, 2008 at 8:42:00 AM EST Just a nice word for you - STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP!! When I had my son, I could not nurse because I did not produce enough milk . .. I had no choice. He is a happy healthy 2 year old. My doctor told me I had to do what was going to make me happy, if I was unhappy he would be. So, I stopped being upset and made a decision. I am happy with my decision. Decide what is BEST for you and your baby, but don't make a decision based on "what is right according to others" you have to decide what you feel is right for YOU!!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Jamie DATE:Friday, March 7, 2008 at 9:41:00 AM EST It's totally a personal choice. My son was a "combo" baby from the beginning because he couldn't suck. It turned out to be a blessing in disguise. He ate every two hours and I just couldn't keep up. I thought of his formula bottle as my "Selfish" bottle every day. It gave me a break and my husband time to bond with our son, too!

Bottom line, no one can tell you what is right for you. Keep your chin up! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous slackermommy DATE:Friday, March 7, 2008 at 10:39:00 AM EST Oh honey, breastfeeding is hard. It's exhausting, time consuming, and babies and life are unpredictable. Moms today put so much pressure on each other to be successful at breastfeeding. I supplemented 3 of mine with formula but never gave them a bottle in public out of fear of being judged for not nursing full time. How sad I felt that way. 100 years ago there wasn't this kind of pressure. Mothers truly believed it takes a village to raise a child and nursed each others babies. I'm not saying we should nurse each others babies but we do need to support each other and realize that breastfeeding isn't easy for most and that it is not for everyone.

Now I'll get off my soapbox and share my experience. I'm working on my hours to be a lactation consultant and hope to help new mothers breastfeed but also support their decision to supplement or exclusively formula feed.

I nursed all 4 of mine for a year. They all weaned by one. Just lost interest and I was sad. I looked at other moms who nursed passed one with a pang of jealousy. Seems silly to me now but it definitely wasn't back then. Mine just lost interest not because I "failed".

I had toe curling pain with all mine in the first few weeks despite that they all latched on correctly. I had horrible bleeding and cracked nipples with my first.

I was never able to pump. My mind and body needed nipple stimulation from baby to produce a letdown. Looking at a photo or just thinking about my baby didn't work but my milk would letdown several times a day all on its own. I was so desperate with my first to exclusively breastfeed that when I had a surprise letdown I had empty bottles nearby so I could hold a bottle under my nipple and catch the milk. I even did this while nursing. By the end of the day I would have a full bottle of that good fatty milk.

My advice to you is to give yourself permission to supplement and give yourself props for getting this far. Have Guy give little bird a bottle once or twice a day so you can get some rest and a break so your body can build up a good supply. This will also help get you both on a schedule for when you return to work. Even if you end up only nursing once a day or not at all you will have to come to terms with that being okay and I know that will be hard. We put so much pressure on ourselves and no matter how many of us tell you that supplementing or exclusively formula feeding is just as good YOU need to feel good about your decision. I know this seems huge to you now and the days are dragging on but this time goes so fast. A year from now it won't matter to you how little bird got fed but that it all worked out and you have an adorable, healthy little bird hanging on you because YOU are the center of his universe.

Now go get some rest. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Steph DATE:Friday, March 7, 2008 at 11:05:00 AM EST No advice, just (((HUGS)))!!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous ~JJ! DATE:Friday, March 7, 2008 at 1:11:00 PM EST Unfortunately I have no words of wisdom.

I send you love. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Space Mom DATE:Friday, March 7, 2008 at 1:47:00 PM EST My Assvice?

Do what you have to for a HEALTHY CHILD.
You don't need to be exclusively feeding from the breast/breast milk to still be a "booby mom"
You can do bottles of expressed milk, or bottles of formula in addition to the milk you produce.

There are no time frames. You and Bird will get it when you get it. Time frames are just to make people feel better. Let go of the imaginary worry of "it's been 3 months, now what???? What am I doing wrong?" because the answer is "There's nothing wrong. This is how you two work together"

Has Bird always been 10%? Or is he dropping weight? ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous ImpostorMom DATE:Friday, March 7, 2008 at 3:45:00 PM EST My heart goes out to you it really does. It is hard to breastfeed exclusively even when things are going well so I know it must be frustrating for both of you.

Some breastfeeding is still breastfeeding even if you are supplementing. If you go that route don't feel like you have to give up the other side. Do what is best for all of you.

hugs. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Gerbil DATE:Friday, March 7, 2008 at 5:44:00 PM EST i wasn't able to successfully nurse jacob when he came home. it ws a bummer - i'd had no trouble with his sibs, after all. i finally decided wth... and pumped exclusively. and when i got to the point where i just couldn't hack it anymore, i weaned. and jacob is healthy and happy and that's that.

if breastfeeding was simple and easy, i'm guessing there wouldn't be so many lactation consultants.

i hope things get easier for you ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Imstell DATE:Friday, March 7, 2008 at 6:08:00 PM EST Huge hugs. So been there. I just want to point out something you said.

"I feel my biggest letdowns when we are out on a walk, or when he is sound asleep."

My Keyboard Psychology Degree says that these are the times that you are the most relaxed, the times you allow yourself to take a deep breath, look at your little man and feel the love. These are not the times that you are worried about his latch or your hold or his fussing or any myriad of other things that you might do incorrectly. When you are out for a walk your nipples are not being assaulted. When Bird is asleep your feelings of self-worth are not being challenged. It is very hard to let down when you are in pain. As evidence I will share a small story.

My first day back to work I was ready in record time & all proud of myself. I had the car warming up outside and had loaded the baby in his carseat in the house. I turned to carry him outside & saw the car begin to roll down the drive. For whatever stupid reason, I ran out to catch it. In the process, I tripped over my own two feet where the drive begins to slope downward, fell & skid on my elbow, chest & face across the drive & into the gravel.

Can we all say "ouch!"? Yes. Ouch! I drug my sorry, road-rash self back into the house & called work to tell them I wouldn't be in afterall. I chipped some teeth, skinned my face & arm (down to the nerves). But the worst was my boobs. Ugh! I was breastfeeding and I had BAD roadrash from my midchest to my nipple on one side!!!

Well, lets just finish this up quickly by saying that for whatever reason, within 2 days of that accident my once over-productive breasts were dry as bones. Eventhough I'd continued to feed on the other side I still dried up.

So, if you end up needing to supplement (and I am not telling you this to promote it), it may have an added benefit of giving your poor girls some much-deserved R&R that might just increase their performance in the end.

Whew! That was a post in itself! Sorry! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous No Minimom DATE:Friday, March 7, 2008 at 7:00:00 PM EST Maybe he's not a booby baby and that's OK. Have you thought about exclusively pumping? I did that from about 5 months to a year and it worked out great. I always knew exactly how much milk he was getting and I loved that he was still getting my milk (and I still got all the physical benefits of breastfeeding). You're not admitting defeat, you're just going about the battle from a different route. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Kelly DATE:Sunday, March 9, 2008 at 11:09:00 AM EDT It took five months for my second born and I to get a good routine established. I had oversupply/letdown issues (she'd gag and get furious, then refuse to nurse, but want to nurse again 10 minutes later). If you think you have a problem with a forceful letdown, The New Girl has great advice. Try nursing lying down on your side with the little one, so that gravity is more on his side. I felt absolutely dedicated to nursing, and frustrated when it felt more like a struggle than a joy. 3 bouts with mastitis, a thrush infection, something called nipple vasospasm....I would have called it quits if she would take a bottle, but she refused, the stinker. Well, happy ending here, we made it work for 18 months.

You'll find something that works. Hang in there, mama. Do what you feel like you need to, for your baby and you. Pumping is okay, supplementing is okay.

A good resource is called 'Kellymom.' Just do a search for that, they have an exhaustive info section on breastfeeding issues. They may help you find a solution and put your mind at ease. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous labugga DATE:Sunday, March 9, 2008 at 5:53:00 PM EDT I have no advice, just hugs and lots of positive thoughts and prayers for you both. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Monday, March 10, 2008 at 7:46:00 AM EDT I wish I had something positive and helpful to say. But all I can do is send hugs and prayers and love that it gets better for you both. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous the new girl DATE:Tuesday, March 11, 2008 at 12:24:00 AM EDT Canape (& kelly)
*Pardon my lurking in these comments here...lol*

I actually had to nurse prone, as in, lying on my BACK with the bebe on TOP of me. We couldn't do side lying for months and months b/c of the overactive letdown. It was the only position that she was able to tolerate.

It looked funny but it worked really well until she got a little bit bigger.

Thinking of you. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Mutt DATE:Tuesday, March 11, 2008 at 3:11:00 PM EDT Hang in there! It's totally hard and that sucks, but just keep loving your little bird and that's what matters. You feed him and love him and if that means formula or whatever that's what moms do. There is ABSOLUTELY no shame in making sure your child is taken care of. Yes, boob is best, but if bird needs more, then do what you have to do.

I felt so unsure the entire time I nursed Peanut (11 months). I worried constantly and doubted every move. I look back now and wish I would have relaxed and not worried so much where the food came from as long as he got it.

It's ok if you don't want sore/bleeding boobs anymore, Bird will still be cute/smart/wonderful. Enjoy the baby. Hang in there! You're doing great. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Stephanie DATE:Tuesday, March 11, 2008 at 10:18:00 PM EDT Hi, I've come to your blog from WhyMommy's -- I'm one of her MOMS club friends.

I'm sorry that nursing's not going too smoothly for you and the baby as yet. That is hard.

I had some initial latching problems with my baby (he had a short frenulum -- that bit of skin under your tongue that attaches your tongue to the floor of your mouth), so he had a hard time latching on. His nursing was not very effective, and it hurt.

A lactation consultant gave me a nipple shield, which is kinda like a baby bottle nipple, but one you put directly over your own nipple for the baby to suck on. The main purpose was to help him be better able to latch on (which it did), but the other benefit was that it protected my nipples a good bit from the pain of (poorly) latching on. I don't know if that would be helpful to you in your situation (I'd check with a lactation consultant), but it would make nursing a lot less painful, might be helpful as a short-term thing to give your nipples some time to heal up a bit.

Best of luck as you figure out whatever works best for the two of you. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous teresia benedicta&johanna anna DATE:Wednesday, March 12, 2008 at 3:51:00 PM EDT i would totally recommend those nipple shields!! they worked out great for me and my boobs (and babe)!
from the day i used them everything went nice and smoothly and for the first time i could just RELAX while nursing....
oh, by the way, you don´t really know me, i´m just a lurker from the "five-monkey´s-mom":)
but, i have blog on my own, if you want to read it, just write me and i´ll invite you over:)
leslieann@web.de
leslie ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Verbal video DATE: 2/29/2008 11:17:00 PM ----- BODY:
This morning, Bird popped off my breast and looked up at me. His eyes were wide and bright. His mouth puckered up into a little "O" shape and I smiled at him.

He cocked his head, squinted his eyes, and his mouth burst open into a huge smile.

I want to remember those few seconds for the rest of my life.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous useless_rambler DATE:Saturday, March 1, 2008 at 12:12:00 AM EST Awwww :) You will remember, and there will be tons more. Just when you think your heart can't get any bigger...

Then it starts walking and talking and making messes and...

:) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Stimey DATE:Saturday, March 1, 2008 at 12:27:00 AM EST There are moments that make all the hard work worthwhile. I think you just had one of them. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Jenn DATE:Saturday, March 1, 2008 at 5:32:00 AM EST *sighs with baby love from afar* You WILL remember those few seconds for the rest of your life :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous KimmieRo DATE:Saturday, March 1, 2008 at 6:13:00 AM EST Ahhhhhhhh. THAT- THAT is the moment of a lifetime. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Steph DATE:Saturday, March 1, 2008 at 9:20:00 AM EST Aww! Such a sweet moment! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Liz DATE:Saturday, March 1, 2008 at 10:31:00 AM EST you'll never forget that moment.

so beautiful.

*sigh* ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Gerbil DATE:Saturday, March 1, 2008 at 1:23:00 PM EST wha..wh....whe... rassafrassa my c omputer dies on me and I MISSED ALL OF THIS???????

Pauses to run in excited circles and then go hide in a corner.

I am SO FREAKING HAPPY FOR YOU GUYS!!!!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Jenn DATE:Saturday, March 1, 2008 at 8:35:00 PM EST Nothing sweeter than those first real smiles! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous FENICLE DATE:Saturday, March 1, 2008 at 8:59:00 PM EST Life is all about those little moments!!!!! Cherish them. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Candygirlflies DATE:Sunday, March 2, 2008 at 7:35:00 AM EST Wonderful. Wonderful!!

All THREE of my kids smiled at someone other than me that first time... My eldest smiled at my mother, and the other two smiled at their older sisters.

I've had plenty of smiles from them since, though, and trust me-- it just keeps getting better and better.

You're doing great, Canape. Congratulations, sweetie!!!!

xo CGF ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Mamma DATE:Sunday, March 2, 2008 at 11:24:00 PM EST I'm pretty sure there's nothing better!!

Give him a smooch from me!! And one for you too. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Pendullum DATE:Monday, March 3, 2008 at 11:09:00 AM EST Beautiful...
Enjoy and embrace each moment...
Wait! you already know that... ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Tuesday, March 4, 2008 at 11:47:00 AM EST wow.. how adorable! ----- -------- AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Because I can't believe it myself DATE: 2/22/2008 02:35:00 PM ----- BODY:
At the pediatrician's office today:

Doctor: I don't see any signs of thrush.

Me: Are you sure? Because my breasts hurt so badly. Like I would rather be in labor again than have my breasts hurt this badly.

Doctor: And you're sure you want to continue breastfeeding?

Me: (after initial stun of question wore off) Absolutely I do, and I will.

Doctor: Well, they're your boobs, not mine.


OH MY DEAR GOD. He actually said those exact words to me. Perhaps I am still hormonally sensitive???

Or PERHAPS NOT?

Please. Weigh in. Would you be taken aback if your older than dirt pediatrician actually taunted you about your persistence in breastfeeding? And used the word BOOB? I mean, I use it all the time, but the letters M.D. don't follow my name either.

Let's discuss, shall we?

And you don't have to tell me to get a new pediatrician. It's already in the works.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Heather @36 balloons DATE:Friday, February 22, 2008 at 2:48:00 PM EST One of the ped's our practice is just that nonchalant about preserving the breastfeeding relationship. Very irritating! Have you looked through kellymom.com for ideas? I thought I had thrush with my first, but it turns out she just had a crappy, lazy latch and was using her jaw instead of her tongue or some such nonsense and my nips wanted to run away from the torture. It got better. Hoping for the same for you. You rock! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Steph DATE:Friday, February 22, 2008 at 3:44:00 PM EST Im sorry he was so flippant and hope you can figure out why you hurt. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous TheMusingMommy DATE:Friday, February 22, 2008 at 3:58:00 PM EST delurking to comment...

I find it so hard to believe when members of the medical community play down breastfeeding. It is SO AGGRAVATING. If I could, I would send you my lactation nurse. She's the best...when I run into her at the grocery store she takes time to find out how it is all going.

We had breastfeeding issues in the beginning too. My daughter wouldn't latch, and it took a lot of (literally) hands on work to teach her. We used the supplemental nursing system, as well. But after a couple of weeks it got better.

They say the first 6 weeks are the hardest for breastfeeding. I found after the 4th week it was smooth-sailing. I'm still nursing her (just before bed) and she's 17 months now.

So good luck! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Anonymous DATE:Friday, February 22, 2008 at 5:42:00 PM EST First 6 weeks are horrible, but keep it up! If our ped. said that to us, we too would be getting a new Dr. I thought we had thrush, and our Dr. saw no evidence, but suggested several things I could do, none of which included quitting breastfeeding! You have my support. Keep it going, and have that lactation consultant come back out to check on your latching and for thrush, sometimes the baby has no symptoms... ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Anth DATE:Friday, February 22, 2008 at 6:46:00 PM EST Um, yeah, I would think it was really weird if the ped used the word "boobs." And was so nonchalant and unsupportive of me continuing to bf. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous the new girl DATE:Friday, February 22, 2008 at 8:13:00 PM EST Not that you asked for stories but I had MASSIVE NIPPLE HURTAGE and her latch was fine, it's just that she was clamping down from an overactive letdown.

I know that may not be your issue but the lactation consultant will probably be more helpful than your asshat pediatrician in figuring out the problem. She will certainly be more supportive than your asshat pediatrician.

It boggles my mind that they know next to NOTHING about breastfeeding, really. They honestly don't. Your determination and your lactation consultant are all you need to do this.

Your conviction that you're doing what's best for your beautiful son is what makes you a great mom.

And yeah, they ARE your boobs. Damn right they are. lmao.

Did I mention that I think he's an asshat? ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Anonymous DATE:Friday, February 22, 2008 at 9:12:00 PM EST I can't believe he said that. Breastfeeding can be off to such a rough start and it GETS BETTER, much better. WOmen need encouragement!

Anyway, I had a horrible yeast infection in my breast when I nursed my daughter (who did have thrush) and it was like she was suckling on my breast and there was a horrid piece of glass deep down inside. If that had been my first nursing experience I would have stopped. Hope it's not what you have.

My OB gave me an oral pill (1 day) for a vaginal yeast infection (which I didn't have) and it cleared it up pretty well.

Best best of luck to you.
Maybe find a lactation consultant... but not one that's too militant! :)
C. B. in NY ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous sunraysnsaturdays DATE:Friday, February 22, 2008 at 9:23:00 PM EST Whoa. That man needs a new profession. Asshat. Hope you figure out what is going on so you can get some relief. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous FENICLE DATE:Friday, February 22, 2008 at 9:37:00 PM EST Although I understand his point...that he can't tell you what to do...it was a rather inappropriate way to get his message across!!! Geez. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Marty, a.k.a. canape DATE:Friday, February 22, 2008 at 10:08:00 PM EST If any of you (CB in NY!) are back reading comments, could you tell me if your baby was treated too? Or just you?

Right now, I'm just taking the oral medication you mentioned, C.B., but I'm worried that we're not also treating Bird.

Any insights? ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Clifford DATE:Friday, February 22, 2008 at 10:29:00 PM EST Did you burn four-letter words into his forehead with your eyes or what? ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Mutt DATE:Friday, February 22, 2008 at 11:08:00 PM EST Seems a little casual to me.

Breastfeeding is hard and it surprised me how little help those in the medical profession were. We did find an incredible lactation consultant through our local childrens hospital. She spent over an hour listening to us and watching me try and then really helped us.

Hang in there. As much as you can give him is great for him. If you can't go for a year (or longer, I don't know your thoughts on that) then at least you know you gave every drop you had.

I had very few supporters, but my husband was great and we just kept going as long as we could. We made it to about 10 or 11 months and switched to formula.

Again, I think it's great your doing this for bird. It's so hard with the recovery, no sleep, sore boobs, and all the other issues. Congrats to you!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Beautifully Unique DATE:Friday, February 22, 2008 at 11:14:00 PM EST Hang in there girly, you are doing a great job and your Dr. should be slapped in the mouth.
Just a little FYI, when I had thrush, we BOTH had to be treated. We did Nystatin and it worked great. Best wishes! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous toddlerplanet DATE:Friday, February 22, 2008 at 11:31:00 PM EST Bee-zare. If our pediatricians don't support us, who will?

Oh, yeah. Lac consultants. Love them.

I'm seconding the hurtful latch idea and suggesting making some LLL buddies locally too ... others may have reservations, but I mostly found them WONDERFUL. Christopher could also just have a very strong suck, which could be hard for awhile.

Breastfeeding is SO important, for mom and baby, but it is also SO hard for the first 4-6 weeks.

Good for you to keep going. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Cher DATE:Saturday, February 23, 2008 at 6:15:00 AM EST I would be so completely pissed, and probably not polite enough to NOT say something to him right on the spot!
Its been many moons since I breast fed, but my mother gave me a set of nipple guards. They are little plastic sheilds that fit over your nipple area and help the baby latch on better. Maybe seeing if you can find some? Like I said, it's been a while (like since 1984) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Anonymous DATE:Saturday, February 23, 2008 at 7:57:00 AM EST Hi C-
This is CB (Carin) in NY. Yes, baby was treated too-- a goo to squirt on her cheeks inside. Her thrush was obvious-- white patches on the insides of her cheeks and back of her tongue. The medication was for both of us-- I was supposed to rub it on my nipples also, which I did.

I'm not a doc, but I had been timid enough with physicians to just do what they said-- no more. If you think your baby has thrush, get a second opinion. If you don't trust your pediatrician (with good cause it seems!)or even just feel wierded by him get another. If you think you have a yeast infection in your breast, find someone to take you seriously. It frikkin hurts!!!

I found a serious problem was, no physician seemed to think my breasts were their area of responsibility. Seriously! Because I was nursing, my breasts became this third entity!... my OB thought the pediatrician should do something. My pediatrician said I wasn't her patient. My general practitioner helped me, but thought the OB dropped the ball (I agree).

Best, best of luck to you. I even nearly bought gentian violet http://pediatrics.about.com/cs/breastfeeding/a/gentian_violet_2.htm to treat my sore breast, even though it might turn your breast-- and baby's mouth-- purple for a while. But, the oral yeast pill did the trick for me, so I never attempted the purple cure. :)

Take care!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous katy DATE:Saturday, February 23, 2008 at 9:51:00 AM EST A new pediatrician is definately a must have. Wouldn't you walk out if your gynecologist told you he/she needed to see your boobs? ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous useless_rambler DATE:Saturday, February 23, 2008 at 10:57:00 AM EST I just emailed you (off of the picture link email) and forgot to change the subject so as to get your attention...

check it out...

Good luck!!!!

j ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous KimmieRo DATE:Saturday, February 23, 2008 at 12:05:00 PM EST Treat Bird too. You can pass it back and forth otherwise. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous ~JJ! DATE:Saturday, February 23, 2008 at 1:33:00 PM EST I can't believe he called them Boobs. He's a professional. Or supposed to be.

Since you are already on the path to a new ped. All I can say is do what is right for you...If you can get over the pain threshold until it becomes comfortable for both of you, do it....

However, I have no idea about breast feeding we couldn't do it.

Good luck Mamma. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Paige Jennifer DATE:Saturday, February 23, 2008 at 9:20:00 PM EST Apparently Bedside Manner 101 was not part of his medical school education.

(1) Find a new pediatrician.

(2) If there are multiple physicians in the practice, I'd eventually pen a letter explaining why you left. Sorta similar but I had a doctor with a cunt for a receptionist. And when I relayed how she handled his patients, he was aghast. Doctors are doctors but they also are a business and the less people who come in the less money they make. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Anonymous DATE:Saturday, February 23, 2008 at 11:19:00 PM EST Okay... so I'm totally a lurker... but I wanted to offer up an unlikely possibility.

I thought I had thrush because my breasts burned and itched and were red and swollen and my nipples were always sore. I kept smearing myself with Lansinoh, because baby didn't have thrush and I just figured they were irritated from nursing 24 hours a day.

After consulting with a lactation consultant, turns out, I was allergic to the "hypoallergenic" lanolin ointment. Within 24 hours of stopping using it, I felt 800% better.

I think this is super atypical but I bring it up just in case. I know you have a lactation consultant, so you probably don't need my second hand advice. :) Hope things get better for you two soon! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Momma B DATE:Sunday, February 24, 2008 at 12:19:00 AM EST I would have probably bitten his head off. That's terrible! You might want to check with your OB/Midwife. Snugglebunny had very obvious thrush and we battled it for over a month, but there were times during that period when she didn't have it and I still did. We both got treated with nystatin, her with a liquid and me with a cream. I hope your new PED is more supportive! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Andria DATE:Sunday, February 24, 2008 at 6:54:00 PM EST No words. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Space Mom DATE:Sunday, February 24, 2008 at 8:15:00 PM EST Dude, that is SO wrong. Boob is not acceptable for doctor....

Sigh.... ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Tuesday, February 26, 2008 at 7:26:00 AM EST I definately don't have the experience you or most of your commenters have, but it doesn't seem right to me. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous sltbee69 DATE:Tuesday, February 26, 2008 at 11:44:00 AM EST Delurking to say that pedi needs to retire. And yes, if it is thrush bird needs to be treated as well or you'll never get rid of it. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous VDog DATE:Thursday, February 28, 2008 at 1:38:00 AM EST OHmahFG!!

My jaw would have been on the floor. KUH-RAZY.

I am so sorry that happened to you!

I've always read that you need to treat both mom & baby.

If it is a latch/other problem, I love, love, LOVED my nipple shield (Medela small size, if ya need to know, heh). We used it until 3 months, and then weaned off of it. By then their mouths are larger and suck is more effective. And they've learned correct mouth positioning from the shield (easier to manipulate their mouths on the silicone than on skin).
The only drawback is when you're out and about and have to put it on -- I carried mine in a 4 oz tupperware or specimen cup (seriously) everywhere I went.

Good luck! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Lilith DATE:Wednesday, March 5, 2008 at 10:31:00 AM EST Find a lactation consultant, they know their stuff. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous The Mommy DATE:Thursday, March 6, 2008 at 8:44:00 PM EST That's SO uncool! I can't believe he said that to you! Pediatricians should try to encourage breastfeeding! My gosh! ----- --------