AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: G is for ginormous DATE: 7/08/2007 09:06:00 PM ----- BODY:

This weekend I went to visit the bra nazi. You know the place. A real bra store with bras that can double as bullet proof vests, and everyone is fitted, every time.

I have worn the same bra daily for about a week now. I am aware of the grossness. I don't have another one that fits now. Hence my trip to the bra nazi.

This woman, in her mid 70's, has owned the Pennyrich Bra Patch for years. She can fit anyone any size, including women with less than 2 breasts. She is the go to lady for all your boob needs. The only thing you have to watch out for are the days when she is anxious to show your her custom fit bra. Without warning, she will hike her shirt above her head to show you how well her bra supports her coniferous breasts. I have seen this more times than I can forget. And I have tried to forget.

This trip to the Bra Patch was different though. There was a younger woman working. She understood my desire to wear something that kept me from being a hunchback, but yet that was still pretty. She sympathized as she measured my pregnant breasts, saying "And you'll only get bigger from here." Comforting.

Honestly, it was the most painless trip I've made to the Bra Patch, but I have to say that the saleslady lost major points with me when she said, "Back when I was pregnant, I was happy just to finally fill out a B cup." If I had swung around fast enough, I could have taken her out with my left boob. Right across her temple.

I'm glad I didn't though. She fully redeemed herself when she returned to the dressing room with the most beautiful bra I have owned. She said, "This is a new line we are carrying. They make bras especially for small women with a large cup size."

Small women. I am rarely, if ever, called small. Since the ninth grade I have worn baggy tops to hide my breasts. I was embarrassed at their size and uncomfortable with the attention they drew. My baggy clothes left everything else hidden and made me look heavier that I was.

I decided I love this woman. And the bra she brought me. Of course the second bra is far more utilitarian, but I'm alright with that.

My friend T told me a few years ago that I should be happy I have these girls. Show them off she said. So I bought some camisoles and then proceeded to wear big baggy shirts over them. The girls and I have never made peace really.

I always wanted to be a person first and a woman second. My chest has been a stumbling block in that area. I have hated the way it overwhelmed my figure. I have hated never being able to buy a dress; only separates that were 2 sizes bigger on top than the bottom. I have hated never being able to go braless, not even around the house. I have hated trying to go braless and then bounding down the stairs only to have the girls try to rip themselves off and alternately slap me in the chin.

I thought (and I know what you all told me . . .) that maybe, just maybe, the girls were plenty big and wouldn't need to grow when I got pregnant. Not so much.

But there is a treaty on the horizon. I am learning to make peace with my body. I am in a relationship that has been amazing for my self esteem. I am learning to respect the changes my body is making in preparation for this Little Bird. I am looking forward to breastfeeding. Put these puppies to good use.

I will be thankful for what they will give to our child. Be thankful for their health and, um, vigor. Be thankful that G isn't the last letter of the alphabet in bra land. Ginormous indeed.

********

Calling Team Whymommy. Care to pontificate on your boobs? Do so anytime this week, leave a link here, and we'll round them up on Friday for some weekend reading while Whymommy recoups from chemo treatment #1.

Remember, the only Team Whymommy rules are positive thoughts and no pity. Bring on the funny.

Labels: Baby Lust, Blogging Babes, My Life, Team Whymommy, Try Try Again

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Bubblewench DATE:Monday, July 9, 2007 at 6:50:00 AM EDT I have always been the girl with boobs, in 3rd grade my teacher called my mother in and told her I needed a bra, and to skip the training ones. I know all aboyt the seperates, and the bra nazi. I'm super happy you had a great experience at the store! I am glad you are finally coming to terms with the bazoongas. They really are pretty awesome. And you have great things to do with them ahead! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Robin DATE:Monday, July 9, 2007 at 7:44:00 AM EDT Please tell me it isn't really called the Pennyrich Bra Patch. You're kidding, right?

If it's any small consolation, those of us at the salesgirl's end of the sizing scale have just as much angst and embarrassment when it comes time to buy a bra. Ever try to find a sexy bra in a training bra size? I didn't make peace with my own (teeny tiny) boobs until I breastfed my children and came to understand that breasts have a purpose in life, and that this purpose has nothing whatsoever to do with how they look under a camisole.

Hmmm... I think I feel some pontificating coming on ;-). ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

MamaGeek @ Works For Us DATE:Monday, July 9, 2007 at 11:22:00 AM EDT Love the post! Why is it I feel the same way about going to the "bra nazi's" as I do going to the dentist! UGGGH. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Mamma DATE:Monday, July 9, 2007 at 12:11:00 PM EDT Man I ALWAYS wanted boobs!

Be prepared: This is not going to make you feel better.

I was a B when I got pregnant. I was an F when I gave birth.

I'm back down to a DD, but most of that is left over baby weight (hahahahahaha--three years left over).

I'm afraid if I lose weight I'll have two pancakes that I have to tuck into my waistband. Hey, maybe that's why mom's wear their pants higher. A place to put your boob flaps!

Okay...enough babbling. The Bra Patch? Really? What a great name.

PS--my TWM button is up. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Jennifer, Playgroups Are No Place For Children DATE:Monday, July 9, 2007 at 2:06:00 PM EDT I love talking about boobies :)!

I've always wanted to go to a real bra shop. Actually, I should go since I always seem to buy the wrong size.

Here's a link to a boob post from June....

http://playgroupsarenoplaceforchildren.blogspot.com/2007/06/my-cups-runneth-over.html ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Bon DATE:Monday, July 9, 2007 at 2:31:00 PM EDT i too always hid under baggy tops that made me look bigger than i was.

looking back, i think part of that was the karmic punishment of being a teen in the 80s...styles just weren't kind to those of us who had boobs: the clothes puffed out, and then never came back in.

glad you found a beautiful bra. and interesting - though i hadn't read this before i posted my own broader coming-to-terms with my body post late last night - that we ended up on parallel themes. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

FENICLE DATE:Monday, July 9, 2007 at 2:40:00 PM EDT I am certain that I have never heard it called that before....but I am positive that from now on those stores will only be known as the BRA NAZI'S!!!!!!!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

WhyMommy DATE:Monday, July 9, 2007 at 2:56:00 PM EDT The Pennyrich Bra Patch. I love the South. (And clearly it loves me, cause now it's following me around and MAKING ME WEAR HATS! Sorry. Flashback. Hats on Sundays and all.)

Glad you found one that fits -- and one that's pretty to boot! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Fancy Pants DATE:Monday, July 9, 2007 at 8:05:00 PM EDT I like cake! and by cake I mean the girls. :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Liz DATE:Monday, July 9, 2007 at 9:31:00 PM EDT I love this post, Canape.

I don't think I couldn't have said it any better myself: the no peace, the big shirts, the not so much with the attention to the chest.

I love the Bra Patch-esque place I used to go to in Vermont. But in NYC, believe it or not? I haven't found one I'm comfortable with. In the city? Everyone is just so BOTHERED when you want to shop in their store. You can forget about that thing called Customer Service.

Stay tuned for my booby post. Great subject. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

MB DATE:Monday, July 9, 2007 at 9:55:00 PM EDT You must tell us - what's the brand of the pretty bra you like? I don't live near the scary old lady but I might try to find one online. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Oh, The Joys DATE:Tuesday, July 10, 2007 at 1:00:00 AM EDT Boobs? I never shut up about my boobs. Send WhyMommy over here. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

katy DATE:Tuesday, July 10, 2007 at 1:51:00 PM EDT I quit talking about my boobs so much since they decided to start going south. Im hoping in a few years I can quit buying bra's and just tuck them into my elastic pants. I do go braless once in a while but last time I did I got one caught in the pressure washer trigger............I'm pathetic. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Andria DATE:Tuesday, July 10, 2007 at 3:35:00 PM EDT lol... saw this, and thought of this post!!! http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070710/ap_on_re_us/dictionary_s_new_words ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Bitsy Parker DATE:Saturday, July 14, 2007 at 12:33:00 AM EDT Hope you don't mind unsolicited advice, but don't spend much money on bras at this stage. Once you have the baby, ginormous turns into supersize-ginormous. The best time to buy THE bra is the end of the first week after the baby is born. Like you have time to go bra shopping then. However, gua-ran-tee it, the bra you just bought is going to be too small!

P.S. More unsolicited advice - buy a stretchy bra that doesn't hook to sleep in. In case you haven't heard, there is no sleeping braless unless you want to wake up in a pool of milk.

Thinking good thoughts for you and of course WHYMOMMY! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

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