AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: You have to cut that out DATE: 6/23/2009 05:04:00 PM ----- BODY:
Yesterday, we went in for our "nurse talk" where a patient history is taken and the nurse talks to you for about an hour about the rules. Nurse Kathy was nice about Little Bird tagging along with us. She wasn't so nice when she chuckled each time she said the word, "mature." Apparently referring to my age was the funniest thing she had done in a long time.

Little Bird climbed up in my lap near the end of our talking to and asked to nurse. Nurse Kathy asked how long he had nursed, and Kevin said that it wasn't a past tense thing. I said he still does, and she raised one eyebrow at me.

She said, "When are you going to cut that out?"

"When he's ready."

Then she put her professionally medical foot down and told me that I had to stop nursing my child. The doctor would tell me, and I needed to go ahead and do it now.

I just smiled.

The thing is, I had been sitting there thinking to myself that this could be easy. Just stay here at this OB practice and have a baby the way most of America has a baby. It's what I did last time, and Bird turned out just fine. Sure, some of the doctors and nurses annoy me, and it's complete overkill, but it would be the path of least resistance and familiarity.

Then I was shaken back into reality. That nurse, with her eyebrow raised in disapproval, was a good reminder of why I'm breaking up with my doctor. Maybe not at my next appointment, but soon.

After all, I'm a "mature" mother. I'm making informed parenting and birthing decisions. I'm done having doctors roll their eyes at me while I'm in labor. I'm done having nurses raise their eyebrows at me.

It's time for a change.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Janice Le DATE:Tuesday, June 23, 2009 at 5:04:00 PM EDT oh i just realized you have a blog! lol...maybe b/c i haven't read the entries leading up to this dr visit...but why is this nurse telling you not to bf?!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous toddlerplanet DATE:Tuesday, June 23, 2009 at 6:52:00 PM EDT Cra-zee.

Yeah. Okay. So yeah.

That's totally unprofessional ... and uninformed. Plenty of women tandem nurse for years without harm to their babies. There's extra attention that needs to be paid, sure, but surely you're bright enough to figure that out?

Buh-bye, doctor's office. Hope you find a good birthing center or midwife or (gasp) other doctor soon. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Marty, a.k.a. canape DATE:Tuesday, June 23, 2009 at 6:57:00 PM EDT Janice, I wish I knew why. I should have asked, but I just wanted to make a graceful exit. I knew that if I got into a "discussion" about it with her, things would get heated.

I'm going to bring it up when I see my OB in a week or so. If she doesn't support me, then that will definitely be my last visit, whether I've found someone else by then or not. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Convertible Girl DATE:Tuesday, June 23, 2009 at 9:49:00 PM EDT Ugh. Wish I had a great OB that I could recommend without hesitation, but the one I loved best is in G'bro.

You're the mama. You trust yourself. The rest of them can go suck on it. Or not, as they prefer ;) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Magpie DATE:Tuesday, June 23, 2009 at 10:32:00 PM EDT Yah. Sounds like you may need a new practice. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Becki DATE:Tuesday, June 23, 2009 at 11:21:00 PM EDT This pisses me off every time I think of it!

Right now, you've got time and you've got options. Good luck finding what's best for you and the bean! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Stella DATE:Tuesday, June 23, 2009 at 11:26:00 PM EDT That's terrible. I am so sorry that you had that experience! Things like that make me so sad because people like that give such a bad name to the doctors and nurses that try to really respect family's choices!

I am so glad, though, that you're going your separate ways and doing this your way!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Thursday, June 25, 2009 at 1:40:00 PM EDT Yeah.. you do need to change. No way any doc or nurse should ever treat you that way. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous @sweetbabboo DATE:Thursday, June 25, 2009 at 2:28:00 PM EDT Hey, the gyno nurse just told me today that IF I were to get pregnant, I'd have to cut out the BFing too. What's up with the U.S. being so squeamish about BFing. That's what they're for and the World Health Org RECOMMENDS BFing until 2 years. Ugh.

You are right to say good bye. Are you thinking about going the more alternative birthing center route?

-Abby ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous AcadeMama DATE:Saturday, July 4, 2009 at 1:19:00 PM EDT I totally heart your decision Marty. While pregnant with my third daughter, I broke up with my OB, who had previously done an okay job delivering my second daughter. But, after several rude remarks and a general sense of not giving a damn how much time I spent in the waiting room, or that I preferred not to have my cervix checked when there was no medical reason for doing so, I broke up with him. Women have been having babies without MDs, making their own decisions about nursing and birthing and all sorts of stuff for a long time. You'd think that one day they might just realize that we have a choice in our medical care, and it doesn't have to be them (whoever them happens to be for you).

Great move for following your instinct!! ----- --------