AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Semantics of cancer DATE: 12/05/2007 02:31:00 PM ----- BODY:

Whymommy linked to this post by Punk Rock Mommy yesterday. It isn't someone I have read before, but as far as reading a first post goes, this one will be sticking with me for quite some time.

Momma and I have talked about her chemo some. It doesn't dominate our conversations. It doesn't dominate her life.

There will be a time that she has to decide though, if the quality of life the chemo leaves her with is worth fighting for. She has assured me that now is not that time. I believe her.

The truth of the matter though is that Momma has cancer. She has cancer that will eventually lead to her death. We know this. What we don't know is how soon that will be. Of course we hope and pray it will be very far off. And maybe it will. We certainly have great hope and faith in that.

And so today, I found so much comfort in these words from Andrea, Punk Rock Mommy:

I am not “dying”. I am living with a terminal illness that eventually I will die from.

Andrea, Susan, my momma, are all people living with cancer. What an important distinction to make.

The last time my momma was going through chemo, I didn't call her much. I felt like I didn't have anything important enough to say. Like her time on earth here was precious and if I couldn't think of something wildly intelligent or relevant, that I probably shouldn't waste her energy.

I am a moron.

As Susan and I chatted on the phone this weekend, we laughed about old boyfriends. We talked about babies and naptime. We giggled like friends. Because we are. Susan is living with cancer and doing a damn fine job of it too. Adapting and adjusting to be the best mother, wife, daughter, and friend she can be. I would say it is amazing, but it's not.

It's just who she is and what she does.

So I add Andrea and her family to my prayers, and I say thank you to her for her words. Words that have reminded me once again that my momma and Susan are doing a superb job of living.

Labels: Cancer, Friends, Momma

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Jennifer DATE:Wednesday, December 5, 2007 at 3:26:00 PM EST What an important reminder. And such an important distinction.

Great post.

Jennifer ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

pastormargaret DATE:Wednesday, December 5, 2007 at 6:56:00 PM EST Your words continue to touch the depths of my being. And your words are never empty or irrelevant. You should know by now that any time spent in conversation--frivolous, intelligent, whatever--with you and/or Bro makes my day. Yes, I am living with this dumb cancer just as Dad is living with Parkinson's. We may not have really long lives, but we have really good ones! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

slouchy DATE:Wednesday, December 5, 2007 at 9:38:00 PM EST Amen. Yes, yes, and more yes. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

whymommy DATE:Wednesday, December 5, 2007 at 9:58:00 PM EST Yeah. And I'll focus on that again too. Even if sometimes I need reminding. As Abreast in the World said today, TODAY is the best day of my life. And tomorrow will be even better.

I'd hug you, if I could get my arms around you! ;-) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Ally DATE:Wednesday, December 5, 2007 at 11:27:00 PM EST I haven't read the post yet but will do so now. This rings very true, and there is so much power in words that it really is important to get it right. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Chick DATE:Thursday, December 6, 2007 at 11:43:00 AM EST wow. thanks a million for commenting on CFT b/c now I have found you! loved getting to know you thru your blog which is wonderful. I just want to know more more more! where in NC? (I went to chapel hill)...fun that I have Little Chick and you have Little Bird on the way. really thanks again and I've subscribed. you have a new fan...cheers ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Jenn DATE:Thursday, December 6, 2007 at 3:04:00 PM EST Yes.

Exactly.

It's what I said to WhyMommy.

It's about the living, all about the living. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Bubblewench DATE:Friday, December 7, 2007 at 6:38:00 AM EST Awesome post. ----- --------