Today is Cleatus the Featus' due date. Last night, as I was giving Guy a much deserved back rub, he asked me what I needed for today. The answered surprised both him and me.

"Nothing."

Are you sure? He wanted to know. Flowers? Do you need to go out to dinner?

"No. It's going to be fine."

And it is fine.

There is this little ache in the center of my chest in the spot where Cleatus always tugs. I know especially today that it will be there, and so today, when he tugs as my heart, I will just say "hello," and "I miss you too."

Guy told me that he knew I was sad, and that he was glad that it wasn't the drowning sad. I am glad too. I have a lot of life preservers though. Andria and Girl have both wrapped their internet arms around me. And Bach. Sweet wonderful Bach arrived with flowers in hand this week and reminded me that she is sorry she didn't get to meet him too. And I couldn't thank her properly in person because I didn't want to cry right then.

Little life preservers.

Andria is right. This is not just any other day.

But I will be okay. Me and Little Bird will sing a song to Cleatus, and then, we will get back to the healing and the hope.