AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Lonely real life DATE: 4/28/2010 02:29:00 PM ----- BODY:
I didn't expect to make friends on the internet. Certainly not ones that I would travel to visit or that would take a weekend to come see me. I didn't expect to make friends that I would miss or that I would long to live closer to so that we could hang together in the flesh.

But I have.

Lately, and maybe it's the hormones to some extent, a lot of my in the flesh people have been letting me down. Granted, I've been told I hold people to unfair high expectations, but I can honestly say that the Zoloft has been helping that. Still, I just can't count on some of the friends I once could count on and that hurts.

But, in my new found quest not to be crazy these past months, I've found a way to still love my friends for who they are and not necessarily what they are to me at the current moment. It's hard, but I think it will be good in the long run.

Today though, I'm missing people that I only get to interact with online. All my mamas on the board especially - I wish that we could have a playdate, get some coffee, go shopping, or just take a walk. Liz L., who I wish I could learn to be a doula with - I think we would make a great team. Patricia, who I recently reconnected with on Facebook and just got to see for a moment in April. All these people make my life richer, and a little lonely at times too, because they are far away.

It's just one of those lonely days. Especially when compared with Monday. Pardon my pity party. It will be over soon, I promise. How can it not be when this is what I get to see everyday:

Happy babies make great SSRI's.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Daily Verses DATE:Wednesday, April 28, 2010 at 2:57:00 PM EDT Oh, how I can relate. I really wish we lived closer. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Amy DATE:Wednesday, April 28, 2010 at 3:30:00 PM EDT I wish all the time that we could hang out in person. I think if we lived closer to each other, we'd be joined at the hip.

I'm sorry you're being disappointed over and over again. It's not fair. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Becky DATE:Wednesday, April 28, 2010 at 4:02:00 PM EDT I get it, I totally get it!! I'd love more than anything for me and my kiddos to come hang out with you and your crew. Maybe someday, maybe someday!!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Patricia DATE:Wednesday, April 28, 2010 at 5:37:00 PM EDT Oh Marty! You are so kind to say such a thing -- I've missed you so very much. And I was afraid I was one of those who had let you down. I could almost see the thread spinning out and snapping apart across the reception hall. I very much wish you and I had had longer to talk. I said that to Fran, who told me -- in her wise way -- that it was my father's day.

I understand, so much, about being lonely. I do. I am wistful by nature anyway, and the Internet makes it hard sometimes to feel anchored to the world. But you are a fine writer, and I find myself connected to you, even at a remove, because what you write is exact, is in the moment. I want to write like you do when I grow up.

There. Your novel for the day. Or something. Oh -- and the character-verification word required for this posting had "sing" in it. More than appropriate!

Thank you again, many times. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Convertible Girl DATE:Wednesday, April 28, 2010 at 8:05:00 PM EDT So glad you're coming over tomorrow (and Friday) -- thanks for calling! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Mem DATE:Wednesday, April 28, 2010 at 8:47:00 PM EDT im here, in the flesh....if you are interested ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous @sweetbabboo DATE:Wednesday, April 28, 2010 at 10:09:00 PM EDT Oh I know. I really worry about the state of my sanity when I have sent all my kids off to school. Who knows how many years the majority of my conversations, daily interactions, and general socializing will revolve around someone under 4 feet tall?!?

It's gotten so bad, I can't even keep up during the few times I do get to interact with grown-ups. I tend to feel myself being pulled toward the company of the kids in the room.

We should definitely hang-out more... Then at least more days could be like Monday!

-Abby ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous gail DATE:Sunday, May 2, 2010 at 8:07:00 AM EDT I completely disconnected from the internet and most of it's relationships, I hope you've not felt the crunch of that. I just can't "do it" anymore and I think you know what I mean.

But I also understand how you feel. Hugs. ----- --------