AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Nemesis DATE: 8/17/2009 09:53:00 PM ----- BODY:
He's taunting me. I leave the front door open to let in the sunlight through the storm door. When I walk by, he doesn't budge. He dares me to come running out the door, cursing and waving my fists at him.

Sometimes I chase him all the way to the dogwood tree, shaking it until he runs up into the neighboring pine.

Sometimes I just sigh in defeat and kick the storm door. Those times, he sits still on the railing, staring me down, never missing a beat in the rhythmic devouring of the leaf he has stripped from my hibiscus.

I hate that damn squirrel.

"Squirrel" is the newest word in Little Bird's vocabulary. He has learned to go to the front door and yell it out to me, just to see me come running to save another branch of my soon to be naked topiaries. He steps aside and chants, "Squirrel, squirrel, squirrel," rolling the r's in that odd little baby way that he does. He likes it when I make it all the way to the tree shaking.

Gibson stands next to him, drooling. I should let him take care of that squirrel.

It was only the one on the right for awhile. However, today, when I opened the front door for the first time, there he was, hiding behind the planter on the left. He peeped around it, and I swear on my grandmother's box of handwritten recipes, he waved.

I really hate that damn squirrel.

Two weeks ago, my front stoop was flanked by two beautiful hibiscus topiaries full of lovely deep pink blossoms. Today, I didn't even bother to sweep it off or pull the weeds before taking pictures. It wouldn't have mattered. My flowers have been ravaged.

The biggest surprised is that the squirrel didn't stop and pose as I snapped photos of the devastation he has wrought.

He had better watch out. I'm planning my revenge at this very moment, and he just might find himself making a lovely rug for some Barbie's Dream House living room.

Damn squirrel.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous @sweetbabboo DATE:Monday, August 17, 2009 at 11:25:00 PM EDT You should let Gibson at him. That would teach him.

That's just awful that a squirrel has destroyed your flowers when he has so many trees to play in.

That's it. I'll bet he's seeking revenge for the trees that Cyndi cut down. Maybe his home was removed and he's taking his anger out on the neighbors. ;)

-Abby ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Becki DATE:Tuesday, August 18, 2009 at 9:00:00 AM EDT Sounds like he's got a little too much personality! We need video of C rolling his Rs and saying squirrel :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Heather DATE:Tuesday, August 18, 2009 at 11:14:00 AM EDT We have a chipmunk who does the same! He knocks on our sliding glass door and yells at us. It's unbelievable! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Mem DATE:Tuesday, August 18, 2009 at 1:29:00 PM EDT my in laws feed the birds- which also means the squirrels and the chipmunks and the racoons and the fox. all of which can be seen from their back porch. when they are away it is our job to fill the feeders...and sometimes we are a little slack. and let me tell you those animals get aggressive. banging on the glass, yelling. they have even destroyed a plant or two to let us know that they mean business.
i'd let me dogs out after them. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Tuesday, August 18, 2009 at 1:57:00 PM EDT Let the dog have at him. He won't come back. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Candygirlflies DATE:Thursday, August 20, 2009 at 8:54:00 AM EDT Oh, you and I are now waging the same battle! The backyard bandit at MY house ate my precious stargazer lilies before they even had a chance to bloom... stole all my tulip bulbs... has shattered my bird feeders...

My favourite methods to thwart him?

A product called "critter ridder" sprinkled along the top of the fence that he bounces along, and BEST METHOD OF ALL? A recording of the call of the Great Horned Owl, played loudly from our back window the minute he sets foot on our property!! Works like a charm, and is damned funny to watch.

Good luck!! Don't let the little fecker win.

xo CGF ----- --------