AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: In case you aren't following me on Twitter . . . DATE: 1/07/2009 02:56:00 PM ----- BODY:

Leave it to me to need to eat my words more quickly than I can even swallow.

Remember this post?

And this one?

Well I had better get over myself, and fast. I had better find that baby love again, and I had better get used to sharing my time with more than just Christopher.

There's another egg in the nest where Little Bird was. A bun in the oven. Knocked up. With child. A Littler Bird. Whatever you want to call it.

I wasn't going to mention it, because you know, what if something happens? Then Kevin reminded me that if something happens, I'm going to want to talk about it, and not pretend like it didn't. So, here I am.

All pregnant and pausing.

I didn't run and grab the camera when the second line appeared this time. I didn't go jump into bed with Kevin and bounce him awake with the glorious news. I didn't celebrate right away. One day, I might feel guilty for that.

Instead, I peed on a stick and left it to go get Little Bird up and in a clean diaper. I sang the "Good Morning" song to him and cuddled the sweet spot on the back of his head that I love so much. I thought about it just being the two of us. I thought about nursing him. I thought about how not ready to wean he is.

Then I carried my little boy back into the bathroom where I found two lines. Faint, but there. Two of them. And I cried.

For some reason, my first reaction was that I was robbing Christopher of some of his babyhood. I immediately felt like it wasn't fair for him to have to share me while he was still so young. I was and am scared that this will terminate our nursing relationship before he is ready (although I've since picked up a copy of Adventures in Tandem Nursing and feel better about that).

Now that I have had a couple of days to process though, I realize that this next baby will always have to share me. He won't get any "just him" time. And Christopher? He is so little that he won't remember having me to himself - unless you count subconsciously, which my mother pointed out he would always subconsciously remember. I'm ignoring that for now.

Now that I've processed a little more, I realize that Little Bird and Littler Bird stand a good chance of being really good friends. I realize that we have decreased the number of years in diapers here. I realize that it's all going to be alright.

We wanted another one, and neither one of us is getting any younger. We obviously weren't preventing another one, excepting that I was counting and had been fairly regular until last month. I don't really care for the term "surprise baby." He isn't a surprise, just his timing is.

He is wanted and loved. Now or whenever.

And with that, I may have to go puke.

Labels: Baby Lust, Bird, Breastfeeding, On parenthood, Try Try Again

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Jen DATE:Thursday, January 8, 2009 at 10:07:00 PM EST WOW. wow. WOW! congratulations!!!! these miracles join us in their time, not ours. blessings to you and this pregnancy, what wonderful news! you made my day :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Stella DATE:Thursday, January 8, 2009 at 10:17:00 PM EST That is just so wonderful!!

Congratulations!!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

gail DATE:Thursday, January 8, 2009 at 10:21:00 PM EST I just think it's gonna be awesome. Really. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Erika Jurney DATE:Thursday, January 8, 2009 at 11:13:00 PM EST What fantastic news -- congratulations! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

@sweetbabboo DATE:Thursday, January 8, 2009 at 11:27:00 PM EST I know I've already said it like a million times, but... CONGRATULATIONS! I'm so excited for you. It will work out perfectly, everything will be fine, and STOP worrying...just be happy. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

No Minimom DATE:Friday, January 9, 2009 at 7:36:00 AM EST OMG! OMG! OMG! So excited for you and the family! And I'm sending all kinds of good prego vibes your way. May your pregnancy be completely uneventful! ;-) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Bubblewench DATE:Friday, January 9, 2009 at 7:52:00 AM EST holy wowzer! I saw your tweet and thought I was dreaming!

I'm so happy for you! Congratulations.

Lots of love and hugs to you and the family. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Anonymous DATE:Friday, January 9, 2009 at 8:06:00 AM EST CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! I will pray that your new bird is healthy!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Kelly DATE:Friday, January 9, 2009 at 11:21:00 AM EST Congrats!!! I'm so excited for you! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Amy DATE:Friday, January 9, 2009 at 12:02:00 PM EST I'm thrilled for you. Just thrilled.

Bird will be a fantastic big brother. He'll show Littler Bird how to nurse like a pro, and how to giggle until mommy can't stand the cuteness any longer. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Jessica DATE:Friday, January 9, 2009 at 12:16:00 PM EST I love it. :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Nita DATE:Friday, January 9, 2009 at 12:35:00 PM EST Yay!!!! I am just so darn excited for you and Little Bird.

Congratulations :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Stimey DATE:Friday, January 9, 2009 at 6:08:00 PM EST I am so thrilled for you. And speaking as someone whose first two kids are 19 months apart, you're right about that friend thing. I love having three kids all squooshed in together because they are super buddies. It's great. Your kids are lucky. :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Jenn DATE:Friday, January 9, 2009 at 8:27:00 PM EST Congratulations!!! Wonderful news!!! They will be great friends!

Littler Bird will be here before you can blink...the second pregnancy seems to go by in a blink. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Anonymous DATE:Friday, January 9, 2009 at 8:32:00 PM EST Congratulations! Lots of prayers for a happy, healthy nine months. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

myrelish DATE:Saturday, January 10, 2009 at 5:05:00 AM EST Congratulations! Perfect timing Littler Bird. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

WhyMommy DATE:Saturday, January 10, 2009 at 7:53:00 AM EST What wonderful news! I'm so happy for you all! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Sara DATE:Saturday, January 10, 2009 at 12:33:00 PM EST That is so amazing!! Congrats! I am lovin' your blog and found you via Deep South Moms Blog. I am a new contributer so I'm getting to know "my girls" who will be writing along side me.

BUT this isn't about me, it's about you and your big announcement! Fantastic! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

FishyGirl DATE:Saturday, January 10, 2009 at 4:11:00 PM EST What wonderful news - Congratulations!

My first two are 22 months apart, and they are the best of friends (and now 7 and 9 years old) and always have been. You and Little Bird will do great. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Mrs. Chicken DATE:Saturday, January 10, 2009 at 7:05:00 PM EST We planned for Shaggy, and The Poo was nearly four, but I had a very similar reaction to yours.

But now I can't imagine life without my boy. Many congrats to you! You are blessed, indeed. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Susie DATE:Saturday, January 10, 2009 at 8:14:00 PM EST Babies do keep their own schedules, don't they?! Congratulations.

BTW, I completely freaked out (and not in a good way) when I found out I was pregnant the second time. And the third, well, let's just say, I don't even know how that happened. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Daily Verses DATE:Saturday, January 10, 2009 at 10:33:00 PM EST Oh gosh, I so know those feelings of thinking you are robbing the older sibling of babyhood. It is tricky and emotional to think through all of this, but it really does all work out in the end, and there truly is so much room in your heart to fall in love with a 2nd child. I doubted and fretted until the day G was born, and now... well, just ask my little mama's boy. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Steph DATE:Sunday, January 11, 2009 at 2:20:00 PM EST Congrats!!! That is wonderful!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

J from Ireland DATE:Monday, January 12, 2009 at 5:33:00 AM EST Congratulations. I have a similar gap between 2 of my kids and I had similar feelings too. Now they are 11 and 13 and they are great friends. I wish you the very best and all the rest you can get. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Lisa DATE:Tuesday, January 13, 2009 at 10:39:00 PM EST Instead of a "surprise" baby, I prefer to use the term "Bonus"! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Lizzy DATE:Wednesday, January 14, 2009 at 8:27:00 PM EST late to the party, but i'm twitter lame and on blog hiatus...

but: WOOT!

may this be a swift and uneventful and joyous, enjoyable, and lovely 10 months. ----- --------