AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: How not to sell your house DATE: 7/09/2008 06:00:00 PM ----- BODY:
I am not a Realtor. I might like to be someday, but right now, I'm not. I'm just a girl looking for a new house because my husband wants to move.

Here are some of the highlights of my search and some of the things I've learned. All of these photos are lifted right off the realty website. Some people might say I'm a thief. Cheater, cheater, sneaker.

Anyhooooooo.

I don't want to see pictures of your stuff. Like these. Here are some pictures of people's beds. Not their bedrooms, just the beds. I'm not buying your stuff. I want to see the house.











If a listing says "contemporary," it's wrong. Contemporary means about 30 years old. It means 1980's construction with lots and lots of wood, very little windows, and apparently, painting everything down to the basketball goal a monochromatic brown.













Just how many fake animals do you see in this room?












See this tiled countertop? The owners did this themselves. And it's covering up something much worse underneath. Cheap fix. Bad fix.















Then there are the pictures that make you think, "If this is what was worth showing, I hate to see what wasn't worth showing." For example:



















And the are pictures that you just don't even know what they are:












But my favorite is this house. The one that comes with the old people. And their dog.










Who took that picture and thought it was a good idea?

There could be a whole other blog just for totally bad real estate listings. I see a new project in the making.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous CelticBuffy DATE:Wednesday, July 9, 2008 at 9:25:00 PM EDT All of the way through my house hunt these last few months, I've continued to comment that someone should launch a business taking the photos for the realtors to put on their websites. Most realtors do poor jobs (IMO) of photographing the houses. My sis (wedding photographer)teases me that this should be my new business venture. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Daisy DATE:Wednesday, July 9, 2008 at 9:42:00 PM EDT I'm laughing and laughing at your pictures and comments...but I kinda like the old folks in the last one. Well, not if I were looking for a house, i admit it!
Love your banner, by the way. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Thursday, July 10, 2008 at 7:40:00 AM EDT Istant grandparents for your kids! Rooms that mean nothing and look like crap! BUY NOW!

Love this post! So True! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Fancy Pants DATE:Thursday, July 10, 2008 at 7:50:00 AM EDT Silly Shamoopie, Those are not realy people. The dog isn't real either, they are stuffed!

It's to give you the idea of what you would look like living there. :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Nita DATE:Thursday, July 10, 2008 at 8:53:00 AM EDT So funny! I'm not in the market for a place but I like to browse and just the other day I was thinking to myself "Why is it the only thing I am seeing if their BED and not the bedROOM!"

You would think in this market, the realtors would watch some HGTV and learn a thing or two. To let pics like those be posted is a sin... ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Susie DATE:Saturday, July 12, 2008 at 6:01:00 PM EDT I live near a golf course and I was curious about a house for sale on my street so when I looked it up on-line, all the pics were of the golf course. Now if I wanted to live out on the 9th fairway, perfect and write me up a contract right now. Not one pic of the house. Seriously. ----- --------