AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Finding peace. Keeping peace. DATE: 2/17/2008 11:07:00 PM ----- BODY:
It's not so much about finding the peace. Talk to me at any random moment, and I'm perfectly fine about how things are going. Christopher has gained a pound since that day at the doctor's office. He is doing really well, and is a happy baby.

That is all that matters, really.

How I feel varies from hour to hour though. As whatever hormones are left in me have their way, and as the Reglan inhibits whatever dopamine it has to in order to help my milk production, and as the sleep deprivation messes with my emotions - as all these things come into play, it's hard to know how I really feel.

Yesterday, on the phone with Whymommy, I felt good. I was able to discuss where we were with things in a positive manner. Is my baby exclusively breast feeding? No. He has to have 4-6 ounces of formula a day in order to not be hungry. Am I doing everything I can humanly possibly do in order to increase production? Yes. I am nursing and pumping 90% of the time I'm awake. I'm taking my herbs. I'm taking my prescription. I'm drinking plenty of water and eating plenty of good food. I'm getting skin to skin with my baby. All of the advice. I'm taking all of the advice and doing it as much as I can.

Today, on the phone with my momma, I felt crappy. It bothered me that I had missed the crucial piece of information that regular, frequent nursings have to do with keeping my supply up as much as they have to do with feeding the baby. So when that doctor told me to alternate nursing with bottles? Leaving me to nurse only about 4 times a day and supplement the rest? He blew a hole in my supply. I didn't know then. I know now. I don't know how I missed it. I was just doing what he told me to do.

Right this moment, I'm okay again. My baby is full and growing. He is getting mostly breast milk, and who's to say that I might be able to have him exclusively on it again in a couple more weeks? It will be fine. I'm going to do whatever I can to have him be the healthiest baby he can be.

And thank God for the hands free pumping bra. Making this post possible. I wish I had it from the very beginning.


We got the proofs for some beautiful baby shots back this weekend. If you would like the link to see them, shoot me an email and I'll send it to you.


Gratuitous photo of the day

We think she likes him. Seeing as how she gets this huge grin on her face every time she gets to hold him? We think she likes him a lot.

Lovely is doing great with her new little brother. She has taken getting peed on during a diaper change in stride. She is becoming a pro at dressing him. And she is the best at walking him when he needs that constant motion to settle down.

She's an awesome big sister.


Finally, I wish that I had opened comments on the breast feeding post. I forgot that while I couldn't handle anymore advice because I was on overload - I forgot that most of the time, people are just relating. Just understanding where you are and where you've been. Some times, they are right there with you, and some times, they have made it through where you've been and can remind you that nothing lasts forever.

So for those of you who took the time to email or comment on another post, thank you. It does help to know that I'm not alone. I hope that it helps to know you aren't either.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous toddlerplanet DATE:Monday, February 18, 2008 at 12:00:00 AM EST Hey, babe. Hang in there. You are doing GREAT.

(That doctor, though? Not so much. Arrogant, arrogant man.) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous K. Welbes DATE:Monday, February 18, 2008 at 6:39:00 AM EST Breast feeding is not always a great experience, but you are doing exactly what you need to - feeding him as much breast milk as possible, and then supplementing him when he needs it. Nothing, nobody, no one can ask for more. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous ~JJ! DATE:Monday, February 18, 2008 at 7:09:00 AM EST Well, Mamma...You sound pretty good here...This new mommy thing is so hard to get a grasp on in the very beginning...And your happy times are sounding wonderful...I send you all the love you need for this very trying time in motherhood...You are rockin' it sister. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Andria DATE:Monday, February 18, 2008 at 8:05:00 AM EST You are doing such a great job! I never have understood why something so natural, can be so hard. I had latching issues with Ailane, and there were so many times that I wanted to give up. Then, I ended up breastfeeding her until she was almost 3. Go figure. :P
Lovely and Little C are so adorable together... I am sure she loves her brother to pieces! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous ImpostorMom DATE:Monday, February 18, 2008 at 8:42:00 AM EST Hang in there and know that you are doing the best for your little guy. I am amazed at how hard you are working at this when you could have given up.

Breastfeeding is a hard thing to do and it takes immense dedication. You are an amazing mother to Christopher and he is a lucky, lucky little guy.

I wouldn't mind seeing the pictures either. He's so handsome after all, how could I resist. :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous K DATE:Monday, February 18, 2008 at 9:37:00 AM EST Just catching up - your son is adorable. That picture of Lovely with him? So sweet!
It's so frustrating to me that many of my friends have received the same advice from a doctor. How wonderful that your momma is so wise! I'm glad you are having some happy times to balance out the tough ones. Sending good thoughts your way....oh and I'd love to see your pictures! ;) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous sunraysnsaturdays DATE:Monday, February 18, 2008 at 12:47:00 PM EST Sweet picture. Breastfeeding is hard, and when a doctor tells you to do something you have to believe that he knows what he is talking about. Sorry it didn't so much happen that way for you. I had a bad experience with a pediatrician recently too. I've got a new one now.

The new momy thing also takes some adjustment, but I think you are doing GREAT. Hang in there and before you know it all of this will be a distant memory. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous the new girl DATE:Monday, February 18, 2008 at 2:38:00 PM EST I just caught up! Those hormones are a BITCH my friend. I'm glad that you have support and some moments of clarity (those would be the moments when you know that everything will work out.)

The beginning of breastfeeding is anything BUT natural, I think. You're doing what you need to do and you're right. It will be fine.

I am astonished that doctors seem to know NOTHING about breastfeeding. I was just saying that to my sister. Messed up, that is. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Clifford DATE:Monday, February 18, 2008 at 5:06:00 PM EST Hands-free pumping bra.

Okay, I need to see one of these. Not yours, but a. As in one of them. It sounds like the flowbee of motherhood or something. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Toni DATE:Monday, February 18, 2008 at 8:25:00 PM EST Breastfeeding was HARD for me and my little one, too. I had to supplement with formula from 2-6 weeks and it was hard on my ego. I took the herbs, I drank the water, I pumped 'round the clock and around 6 weeks, went back (at the advice of a lactation consultant) to 100% nursing. It worked for me. But even if it doesn't work for you, you are doing your best and that is what is important.

God bless and good luck from this lurker! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Marla DATE:Wednesday, February 20, 2008 at 6:50:00 AM EST You are doing a wonderful job. :) Glad everything is coming together. ----- --------