AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Alone and rambling DATE: 1/29/2007 07:04:00 PM ----- BODY:
Guy is gone. Flying to Boston as I type. It is a job interview, so that is good. He will be back tomorrow, but for now, I am alone.

Pupstar has positioned herself at my feet doing her best pillbug imitation. She will follow me around tonight, wondering when things will get back to normal. When Guy will get back home.

I'll warm up some pasta, have a glass of wine, and then most likely try and put things away. There is a never ending collection of crap in this house that has not found its place yet. I should get rid of most of it.

Do we really need 1000 cd's? No. We haven't even gone through them to see what duplicates we have yet. I guarantee we have two of every Crowded House cd, most U2 cd's, all the Police, and a lot of the Beatles.

What he doesn't have is any Nirvana, Pearl Jam, or Juliana Hatfield. What I don't have is any Johnny Smith, Diana Krall, or John Pizzarelli. My music is music to out grow; his is music to grow into.

There is a whole lifetime that we didn't get to live together. He has been on stage so many times playing, and I never got to see it. He never got to see me be angry-rock-chick either, but that's probably a good thing. Sometimes though, I actually get sad that we missed so much of each other's lives.

That is completely retarded and I know it.

So far tonight, truth be told, I've drunk the glass of wine without eating the pasta. I've not picked anything up. Instead, I've read blogs and been in a funk.

I'm sorry to have to say, there is another member to the growing club. It is not a club that you want anyone to have to join. However, Karaoke Diva had a D&C 4 days ago now and has been writing eloquently about it since. I should pop in and mention to her that having her blog turn into "miscarriage central" isn't a bad thing. Especially for 4 days. I'm going on a month and can't seem to change the channel for very long. She is already back at work. I marvel.

Guy had a great idea. He gets laid off on February 5 (so he hears), and I should ovulate by the end of that week. He suggested we take the first bite of his severance and go away somewhere. Go try to make another baby. It's a great idea. Except for the timing.

I think that's why I'm a little bummed. I want nothing more than to say yes to him, but my kiddos are getting ready to compete. February is the last month before competitions, and I just can't miss their lessons. They have been working for months on these pieces, and I need to give them all the time I can to finish getting them ready. They have worked too hard to not have the best chance possible. The best chance possible includes me being here for them.

Plus, we have symphony tickets. Plus plus, I have a gig that Saturday.

Now I understand why he wanted me to quit my other job.

I would love to go away. I'm going to have to make it special right here though.

Does anyone have any suggestions for a stay at home vacation? Romantic get away where you don't actually leave?

I need some help here, ladies. I'm romance deficient.

Labels: , , ,

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Paper DATE:Monday, January 29, 2007 at 10:16:00 PM EST I'm so glad you stopped by my blog so I could find yours! I don't know about you, but I find it incredibly reassuring to read about others in my situation. I've read IF blogs for a long time, but having experienced this miscarriage, I find myself wanting to read about other women's experience with it. It helps me realize that I'm not a nutcase and I'm not the only one who feels this way. I'm also glad that we are in an age where modern women are more open to talking about the experience. I think the older generations just tried to sweep it under the rug. I just can't do that.

KD
karaokediva.blogdns.com ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Sudiegirl DATE:Tuesday, January 30, 2007 at 7:51:00 AM EST Hey - I'm a fellow blogger chick too.

I'm not sure how I can advise you, except try to find something close by that you both enjoy. (Movies, museums, a nice park to walk through, etc...)

Sometimes, that's where romance stems from - a shared experience. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Oh, The Joys DATE:Tuesday, January 30, 2007 at 11:21:00 AM EST Hmmm. Will noodle on that one. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Lizzy DATE:Tuesday, January 30, 2007 at 5:56:00 PM EST Again with the 'House' business? OY! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Liz DATE:Tuesday, January 30, 2007 at 5:56:00 PM EST We don't often get many chances to go away--so sometimes we'll stage a Bed Picnic.
We'll order out, line up the DVDs, put our jammies on and veg. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Mamma DATE:Tuesday, January 30, 2007 at 7:35:00 PM EST What about checking into a hotel in your own town. Order room service and make a mess that someone else will clean up.

All my good U2 is on cassette. How old does that make me feel? ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Marty, a.k.a. canape DATE:Tuesday, January 30, 2007 at 10:52:00 PM EST KD - I'm glad too. Thanks to babyblogorama for that. I hope you will keep writing about it, because I know I still am. I am opposed to sweeping. At least on the internet. In person, I probably still sweep unfortunately.

Sudiegirl - shared experience. Right on. That would most likely be music. I'm pondering as I type.

J - please noodle. We love to laugh, so that ought to be right up your alley. Romance could involve extreme amounts of laughter, couldn't it?

House - I mean Lizzy, I love the bed picnic idea. And I totally thought about you when House came on tonight.

Mamma - you are not old. I just replaced all my U2 cassettes with CD's as I wore them out. How pathetic is that. I don't save clothes, I save CD's. And concert ticket stubs. And I so love the hotel idea. Combined with the bed picnic. And lots of sex. Wait - that was my idea. Nevermind.

Canape - You are a total dweeb for posting such a long comment on your own blog. ----- --------