AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Communing, not competing DATE: 6/13/2010 02:48:00 PM ----- BODY:
That big pit of mommyblogging quicksand seems to have grabbed a hold of my ankles and doesn't want to let go. Competition. I've said so many times that I blog because I want to, not to make money, get free stuff, or to feel loved and important.

It's easy to say that. It's harder to keep it going.

My four year blogoversary came and went without me even batting an eye at it. My BlogHer Ads have been up for over three years. I've blogged for and left the SVMoms Group. Two BlogHer conferences under my belt and a ridiculous amount of swag later - I'm still just me.

I guess it's time for that personal pep talk again. The one where I remind myself that it's my choice to keep this a small time operation. It's my choice to not give my posts up for free to a group who made money off of them. It's my choice to keep my little BlogHer ads up just for the feeling of belonging to that community and not because I'm going to maximize my SEO anytime soon.

Still. I feel like maybe there should be yet another button. Yet another group of bloggers who band together and say, "This exists for my benefit. I choose to expand it or to not expand it. I work as hard as I want to on it, and my traffic and exposure reflect that work or lack thereof. I welcome the community, but I don't do it for the fame and fortune. I am not competing with you - I am communing with you."

As everyone gears up for BlogHer again this year, I get those twinges of longing. But what I'm really longing for is the desire to do more with my blogging. And it's just not there. I don't have the desire to use this space as anything other than what it is right now. I need to be alright with that. I am alright with that - I just need to keep reminding myself of that.

I am ready for a little change though. Some sprucing up. Maybe a new template. I would like to move off of Blogger and onto my own domain, which I have shamefully owned for over two years and done nothing with it. Again though, I just don't have the motivation to put the time into moving it. Plus, I know that I would likely lose most of the readers I have now if I broke this link. I don't know. It would be nice to have new digs.

So what about you? Are you happy with where your blogging life is? Do you wish you were doing more? Are you satisfied with the relationships it's brought you? Do you wish you could buy more than a latte a month with your ad revenue?

I'm curious.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous girl DATE:Sunday, June 13, 2010 at 3:06:00 PM EDT My blog has been a lesson in torture. It's attacked insanity and support. And now, it's something I almost feel ashamed of. I password protect anything important and the rest is just fluff.

I've too lost my mojo.

I can help with a template though :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Marty, a.k.a. canape DATE:Sunday, June 13, 2010 at 3:17:00 PM EDT And see? Your blog is one of a handful that I have read absolutely faithfully for almost five years now.

Our friendship would never have developed without blogging - and it's worth far more than anything else that could come from a blog. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous grandma sandy DATE:Sunday, June 13, 2010 at 7:38:00 PM EDT Since I just started and its all fresh and new to me I'm having lots of fun. But its been extremely time consuming which I'm sure is mostly a result of my ignorance more than anything else. You will laugh your head off when I tell you about the system I've developed for uploading photos. What can I say, I'm technologically challenged. And that's an understatement as we all know! Now that I have my own blog, I can actually remember my i.d. and password etc. to comment here!

The reason I finally decided to start a blog is because I found myself typing out status updates on fb that were entirely too long. I decided that if I really had that much I wanted to say it needed to be in a different forum. So on a whim, I started a blog with no idea what I would do with it.

I'm glad both girl and canape are back. I used to read girl's blog religiously before she took a break and now I try to hit it up at least once or twice a week. I love girl's sensitivity and her artistic talent.
Marty, your blog is always the first I check. I love your writing and admire your honesty and courage.

I hope I'll be able to keep my enthusiasm about blogging. I know it will get old at some point but for now its fun. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous WhyMommy DATE:Monday, June 14, 2010 at 4:27:00 AM EDT I blog for friendship.

But now that we all have so *many* blogs, and time is short, I find I have trouble keeping up with everyone. And that makes it harder to write more myself.

I'm going to BlogHer, yeah, but I'm considering going swag-free, or at least swag-lite, so that I'm happy with the experience as experience -- not worried about making nice with the vendors at all. There will be people for them to talk to, i keep reminding myself. It doesn't have to be me.

I wonder if that will change the way I feel about it.

Does that answer your question?

I think some angst is normal, as the medium ages and people take their blogs in different ways. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Stimey DATE:Monday, June 14, 2010 at 9:55:00 PM EDT Do you know that you can use your own domain name on Blogger? I just started doing that a couple months ago. It's great. You'll have to adjust your feed, but other than that, easy peasy. And other than the domain name, free.

I blog for community. I also blog very specifically to try to make the world a more autism-friendly place. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Lisa DATE:Tuesday, June 15, 2010 at 7:52:00 AM EDT I'm just now catching up on your blog. Love the glimpses into your daily life, good and bad. Keep on communing, sister! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Susie DATE:Tuesday, June 15, 2010 at 8:25:00 PM EDT Oh - can I still even call myself a blogger? I started it for the community which I still have without the posting. I also started as a way to express myself. This is what I am missing by not blogging. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Wednesday, June 16, 2010 at 10:50:00 AM EDT I have never blogged for money. I did a 'review' once for a product but that's it. I started my blog as a joke for a friend. It's now become a place where I can say what I need to say when I need to. I blog now to keep up with friends, both far and near, everyone I have 'met' is IRL to me. We're all people who have something to say.

I never would have met you. And no matter where you go, I'd like to keep following.

After all, we're all in this together. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Melissa (@adventuroo) DATE:Wednesday, June 16, 2010 at 10:19:00 PM EDT Oh I hear ya on this one! I've only been blogging 6 months and I'm a little obsessed. Not necessarily with making money but I just feel an obligation to keep it going strong with three posts a week. WITH A BABY in the house. I'm crazy I know.

But when I say obligation, that's not quite the right word. I blog because it's so freeing to write for myself after years of writing for a job. I don't like my professional job all that much so blogging is like that job I don't have... except it does pay the bills or provide health insurance!

I'm happy where my blog is at for the moment. I'm just not willing to beg and plead with people to subscribe to my blog feed or comment on my posts. If they want to, they want to. I can only put so much energy into it. Part of me wants to be BIGGER but like I'd rather have 100 dedicated readers than 1000 half-assed ones.

The most exciting part about blogging for me has been the relationships! From one little email asking if you needed writers from TM, it's opened my world to new friendships and comaraderie. So thanks for that-- I owe ya! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Andrea DATE:Sunday, June 20, 2010 at 9:58:00 PM EDT YES. I love this. I ebb and flow with this 'new to me' community too. I have been blogging for 7 years, but only since becoming a Mom did I even KNOW there were communities and conferences and fun! So I feel like a freshman. I definitely don't feel like anyone is being competitive with ME, but it's impossible to say I have never felt like I needed to measure up or do something different. The most recent example of this was my move to Wordpress. I heard SO many good things about it that I took the plunge. But I think I should have waited until I could hire some knowledgeable help. I had no idea WP was so technical. That alone has gotten me down more than anything else.

As for writing actual posts. That won't stop. It's my diary. A well cultivated habit. Some days are profound, some are just filler. But that is how my real life goes too so I am ok with it. ----- --------