AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: I'm THAT mom too DATE: 7/01/2009 10:22:00 PM ----- BODY:

Tonight we toured another hospital and met a group of midwives. They were lovely, and the hospital was alright. I don't think it's what I want to do, but it's still a very viable option.

During the tour, we proceeded to be the family that made all of the first time parents in attendance think, "OH DEAR LORD. What have we done?"

Little Bird was a holy terror. All he wanted to do was get down and run like a mad man. When we put him down, he ran in circles and squealed at the top of his lungs, making it very difficult for the midwife to be heard. If we picked him up, he thrashed about and screamed, "nononononononono" until we put him back down again to run in circles and squeal.

I thought Kevin was going to implode. I thought I was going to collapse.

People stared, and I know they were thinking, at least the ones who were still carrying their first child safely around in their bellies - they were thinking, "I will never let my child act like that."

What they fail to understand is that we weren't letting Bird act like that. Bird was choosing to act like that because he is his own little person. We were trying everything we knew to do to distract, redirect, occupy, or remove him. Only, when we were in the hospital part of the tour, we couldn't remove him because you can't hang out in the hallways. We didn't have a lot of options, and I could only whip out a boob when I had somewhere to sit.

It was his choice to act like a little hellion, and tonight, we failed to find the magic button to make him stop.

We were THAT family. He was THAT child. I was THAT mom.

There is a lot of talk about being THAT mom going on. I hope that you'll click over to Triangle Mamas and read about Susie's recent experiences as THAT mom. It's an awesome lesson in looking at someone through eyes of compassion instead of judgment.

It's also an awesome reason never to step foot in a Whole Foods again. Buy local. Buy fresh. Buy organic. But do it straight from the farmer and the dairies. It's better for everybody, and you won't risk getting treated like dirt from the emo artist lead singer check out people at Whole Foods.

Labels: Bird, Just plain pissed, On parenthood, Triangle Mamas

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Jill DATE:Wednesday, July 1, 2009 at 10:58:00 PM EDT I was "that" judgemental person before I had kids and had a hard time breaking myself of the habit until my second was born. He is my little walking, talking, breathing karmic retribution. And now I'm "that" mom. Because we're all that mom at one time or another. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Julie DATE:Wednesday, July 1, 2009 at 11:25:00 PM EDT I'm with Jill. When my daughter came along, I told everyone that my son was my angel and my daughter was my comeuppance. I find myself repeating almost every behaviour with her that I judged so harshly before. It's humbling. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

@sweetbabboo DATE:Wednesday, July 1, 2009 at 11:28:00 PM EDT Oh, I've been that mom ever since my little bug was born. Linus has always been a handful. I've actually had "friends" say they fear having a 2nd b/c he/she might be like Linus.

Many moms I know who have only their one sweet little quiet girl child look at the moms of kiddos like mine and they sneer. My only consolation is hoping with all my fingers crossed that they get their very own little wild man when number 2 comes along.

Of course, for you, I'm hoping you get your sweet little quiet girl, at least for a few years. :)

-Abby ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Stella DATE:Thursday, July 2, 2009 at 12:14:00 AM EDT I tried really hard not to judge and I still find myself doing everything to not make some snap judgment.

I am THAT mom. My child, my children, are the ones that scream sometimes. They are the ones that thrash and say no to everything. They are the ones who, while I'm digging in the supermarket freezer, are unbuckling their seat belts and standing up and taking off their shirts. Those are my kids.

And I'm their mom and I'm proud of it. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Lawyer Mama DATE:Thursday, July 2, 2009 at 12:41:00 AM EDT Oh yeah. I was a *perfect* mom.

Then I had kids. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Bubblewench DATE:Thursday, July 2, 2009 at 7:23:00 AM EDT I stopped judging moms years ago. There is no reason, like you said he's his own little person. And people, no matter how big or small, are gonna do their own thing.

Don't worry, those that were judging shall soon be judged.

Karma comes round. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Michelle Lynn DATE:Thursday, July 2, 2009 at 7:50:00 AM EDT I was also that judgmental person. And now? I'm that mom. But you know what? I'm a better mom for it. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Susie DATE:Thursday, July 2, 2009 at 9:31:00 AM EDT Those "toddler moments" happen at the most inconvenient times, don't they? Always when your focus needs to be elsewhere - doing an adult only thing - pure kid torture!

The lesson is not only have some compassion before passing judgement but to remember we are all in this together. I'd have been the mom offering to take CC for a little walk so you could listen. And then we'd go to the Farmer's Market... ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

whymommy DATE:Saturday, July 4, 2009 at 1:48:00 PM EDT Dude, these things happen. They do.

Whether or not you're THAT mom, you're a GREAT mom. You are. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Ilina DATE:Sunday, July 5, 2009 at 12:23:00 PM EDT I have walked in your shoes. Many times. Welcome to the THAT mom club. Cheers! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Clifford DATE:Wednesday, July 8, 2009 at 10:36:00 PM EDT I don't think you qualify for THAT mom, M. Those are the ones that somehow view their two-legged weapon of mass destruction loudly wrecking civilization as...cute.

The Committee rules, forthwith, that you showed the proper amount of repentance and shock to not qualify as THAT mom.

This time. :D ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

workout mommy DATE:Monday, July 13, 2009 at 1:17:00 PM EDT I'm "that" mom now too, although my skin has not grown any thicker. I avoid public places with my kids at all costs.

I think we live relatively close to each other (?) and I absolutely LOVED my midwife practice. So much so that I now drive an hour+ to see them now that I am pregnant again. let me know if you need their info. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

thepsychobabble DATE:Friday, July 24, 2009 at 9:12:00 AM EDT I feel like that mom a lot some days. I just think of it as being pro-active in slowing global over-population. B/c you know that after meeting my kids, at least a few people have changed their minds.... ----- --------