AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Can you hear me in there? DATE: 5/14/2009 09:35:00 PM ----- BODY:

Dear little squishy block of cells,

I think you have a fighting chance. Your due date? The same as your brother's. That means that you are still so tiny, without much form yet and with so much uncertainty.

It's strange though. As Little Bird and I hung out in the kitchen today watching the "vroom vrooms" in the backyard pouring concrete, I felt your presence. You were real to me. So I picked up the phone and called the nurse. I laughed off how I had peed on a stick too soon, but that it was definitely positive.

Two lines.

Tomorrow morning I go bright and early. We'll look at drops of blood and ask them to make sure there are things there to keep you stuck right where you are for the next nine months. You have a fighting chance. I will fight for you.

That is a promise. I got them to agree that if I show up first thing, they will rush results so that if needed, I can start meds over the weekend. No chances, Baby. You fight the good fight in there, and I'll fight it out here.

I sure would like to hold you one day. So stick around, okay?

Love,
Mama

I know the risks. I know what might happen. I also know that it doesn't hurt any less when I try not to attach. It's my choice, and I'm choosing to start loving right now.

Labels: Baby Lust, On parenthood, Try Try Again

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Hf DATE:Thursday, May 14, 2009 at 10:33:00 PM EDT Congrats!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Erika Jurney DATE:Thursday, May 14, 2009 at 10:35:00 PM EDT Such fantastic news! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Mel DATE:Thursday, May 14, 2009 at 10:39:00 PM EDT Better to love and lost, but to never have loved at all, right? I am praying for you and hope that you are blessed!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

slouchy DATE:Thursday, May 14, 2009 at 10:51:00 PM EDT wonderful news. thinking of you. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

T with Honey DATE:Thursday, May 14, 2009 at 11:11:00 PM EDT I admire your hope and love that is shining through in this post. Sending prayers for you and the very, very little one inside you! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

myrelish DATE:Thursday, May 14, 2009 at 11:19:00 PM EDT My fingers and toes are crossed for you and I hope all goes well. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Mrs Mommy DATE:Thursday, May 14, 2009 at 11:28:00 PM EDT Well said. There is no such thing as loving to much or to early. Congrats. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Anonymous DATE:Thursday, May 14, 2009 at 11:38:00 PM EDT OMG...so excited for you..what amazing news.

Congrats...and I'm praying for a wonderful 9 months.for you.

NicoleB ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Kelly DATE:Friday, May 15, 2009 at 12:31:00 AM EDT Congrats!! Lots of sticky vibes for you!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Convertible Girl DATE:Friday, May 15, 2009 at 7:19:00 AM EDT That is not even nice to make me start crying in my cereal while I'm standing at the counter this morning. But you know I'm happy for you -- and hope those nurses are nice to you. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Jennifer, Playgroups Are No Place For Children DATE:Friday, May 15, 2009 at 7:38:00 AM EDT !!!!!

Congratulations! I'm so excited for you! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

@sweetbabboo DATE:Friday, May 15, 2009 at 9:33:00 AM EDT Oh wow! I know that it is impossible to not get attached and I know it's impossible to lessen the pain when things don't go as planned. Thing is, I have a feeling that we don't have to worry about that this time around. I think it's a sign that she (yes, I'm rooting for a girl) is due the same date as her brother.

Are blood thinners a possibility? They really aren't that bad b/c the payoff is so large.

Sending good vibes to you and Girly Bird.

-Abby ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Magpie DATE:Friday, May 15, 2009 at 11:14:00 AM EDT Happy congratulations and sticky thoughts. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Amy DATE:Friday, May 15, 2009 at 11:39:00 AM EDT Stay put, Squish. We can't wait to meet you and love on you! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Tori DATE:Friday, May 15, 2009 at 2:46:00 PM EDT I'm a big fan and so excited for you! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Unkempt Mommy DATE:Friday, May 15, 2009 at 4:08:00 PM EDT How awesome!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

whymommy DATE:Friday, May 15, 2009 at 5:36:00 PM EDT Aw.... hoping. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

No Minimom DATE:Friday, May 15, 2009 at 6:24:00 PM EDT I'm sending you all the sticky, positive vibes I can that the Little Itty Bitty Bird stays snug and warm in your tummy. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Becky DATE:Friday, May 15, 2009 at 10:39:00 PM EDT Just a little prayer for you (I know how hard it is to let go with a miscarriage). Father God, You created this blessed little one growing even as we speak. Please continue to help it grow...for the whole nine months, and to be just what You created it to be--a baby who will be much loved and cherished and who will have a big brother that will help mom and dad all along the way. Thank you for big blessings in little packages. Amen ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

maggie, dammit DATE:Saturday, May 16, 2009 at 9:24:00 AM EDT Congratulations! I'll breathe a wish out into the universe for you. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Stella DATE:Saturday, May 16, 2009 at 3:41:00 PM EDT WONDERFUL!

Sending tons of good thoughts your way! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Stimey DATE:Sunday, May 17, 2009 at 4:02:00 PM EDT Congratulations! And I have my fingers and toes crossed for you. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Never That Easy DATE:Monday, May 18, 2009 at 5:34:00 PM EDT Congratulations - best wishes all around! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

becky @ misspriss DATE:Wednesday, May 20, 2009 at 12:51:00 AM EDT I'll be thinking good thoughts for you, darlin'. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

jodifur DATE:Wednesday, May 20, 2009 at 9:18:00 PM EDT congratulations and best wished for a sticky baby ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Issas Crazy World DATE:Sunday, May 24, 2009 at 10:29:00 PM EDT No matter what, you have to hope. And somehow hope leads to love.

I've had two miscarriages, one a month ago and still I have hope for another baby.

Setting myself up, maybe. But hope is all I've got. I will be sending tons of hope your way. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

the new girl DATE:Friday, May 29, 2009 at 8:58:00 PM EDT I love that last bit about choosing to start loving right away.

Congrats! ----- --------