AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: First kiss DATE: 2/20/2009 04:43:00 PM ----- BODY:
One of the best things about motherhood is that no day is completely and totally horribly bad. This day has tried its best, but it's just not making its way into the suck ass column.

My labs are back. Still pregnant, but not for long. Honestly, I don't know if the nurse said they were dropping or that they weren't climbing like they should be. After I heard, "Dr. Howell said to tell you she is so sorry," I sort of zoned out for the next part. All I know is that it's not a viable pregnancy, and I have an appointment on Monday. I guess I just hang out and wait to bleed now. Fun.

I got this news on the way to my La Leche League meeting. This is the meeting I first went to when Little Bird was 3 weeks old, and I've been going ever since. I did miss December because he was sick, and we missed January because I didn't realize the third Friday of the month wasn't the second Friday, thereby leaving me feeling stupid on the fourth Friday.

While turning around and going home was my first choice, I decided that I could use the company and it could help me take my mind off the bad news. So I kept going. And when I got there, no one else was there. I sat for about 10 minutes just in case they were all running late (unlikely), and then gave up.

When I came home, I looked up the meetings online, only to find that meeting has been completely deleted from the roster. I've been attending it for a year now, giving my contact information each month, and they didn't feel it necessary or even polite to contact the regulars to tell them they were dissolving that group? I'm not impressed.

What's left for a day that is starting out in full crap mode? A trip to Target, of course. Here's where the day starts getting better. Pushing a cart around, staring into the eyes of my little guy, I can't help but smile. He's reaching for things, talking up a storm, and basically warming me up from toe to head. A couple of swimsuits and a new toy later, our retail therapy session gave way to the need for a nap.

Here's where the bad day loses it's grip for sure.

Little Bird wakes up from his nap and begins chirping to himself in his crib. He talks to Mr. Bear, and plays with the mirror thing tied to the inside of the crib. I love it when he wakes up like this. I give him a few minutes to himself and then go upstairs to get him. I lean into his crib and tell him I'm going to get kisses when all of the sudden, he lays one on me.

My little boy planted a big smooch right on his mama's lips. Then he backed up, grinned, and threw his arms around my neck for a hug.

First kiss. I may not remember my first kiss from a sweaty pubescent suitor, but I will never forget this first kiss. It turned a very bad day into a much more bearable one.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous TinaGirl DATE:Friday, February 20, 2009 at 6:08:00 PM EST how I miss those days when the kisses were just what I needed to regain my composure. Now that they are 8 and 6 I generally have to beg. I'm sorry about the pregnancy. This post immediately pulled me back to those feelings when I found out I had lost my baby... although fresh, the feelings are now more for compassion for others. My heart goes out to your family. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous slouchy DATE:Friday, February 20, 2009 at 8:07:00 PM EST I'm sorry, Marty. But so glad for the kiss and hug. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Nita DATE:Friday, February 20, 2009 at 8:17:00 PM EST I'm so glad your day was brightened and that you didn't let this get you down - at least not too much. Although the LLL thing would totally tick me off.

And oh my - a kiss from Kicky! I think I just got a little tingly all over. :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Amy DATE:Friday, February 20, 2009 at 8:42:00 PM EST I'm too damn emotional because that Kicky kiss made me cry. He's the best medicine for your heart. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous @sweetbabboo DATE:Friday, February 20, 2009 at 8:53:00 PM EST I'm so sorry Marty. Miscarriages suck BIG time.

I'm so glad that C knew just what you needed and laid it on you. He's gonna be quite the catch when he's older since he's so emotionally tuned in.

Let me know if there is ANYTHING that I can do. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous toddlerplanet DATE:Saturday, February 21, 2009 at 11:02:00 AM EST Fuck. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous No Minimom DATE:Saturday, February 21, 2009 at 1:45:00 PM EST I'm so glad Little Bird was able is help ease your breaking heart. And I'm so so sorry for your loss.What an emotional roller coaster day: from sucktastic to fantastic. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Susie DATE:Saturday, February 21, 2009 at 8:08:00 PM EST Well I guess no one says it better than WhyMommy. I'm sorry.

Maybe we can meet up this week so I can give you a hug and maybe get a kiss from Christopher myself. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Stimey DATE:Sunday, February 22, 2009 at 1:37:00 PM EST I'm so, so sorry about the bad day and the bad news. Really sorry.

The kiss is so lovely. My Quinn is a big kisser, and it is the best. Those kid hugs can change the world, huh? ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Magpie DATE:Sunday, February 22, 2009 at 4:26:00 PM EST I'm so sorry.

But the kiss is a beautiful thing. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Beautifully Unique DATE:Sunday, February 22, 2009 at 7:17:00 PM EST I'm so sorry my friend! I'm here if you need me and I mean that totally.
Way to go Kicky, way to brighten your momma's day. First kisses are amazing and there are many more where that one came from. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Mommy Nash DATE:Monday, February 23, 2009 at 5:45:00 PM EST so sorry. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous ilinap DATE:Monday, February 23, 2009 at 9:01:00 PM EST Oh man, the Universe is indeed mysterious. Your little Bird knew just what his mommy needed! So sorry you're going through such a grim time. I was there too and can remember exactly how I felt at the time. Hugs to you. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Tuesday, February 24, 2009 at 10:20:00 AM EST I'm glad it turned out well after all. Sorry to hear about the dr. visit. Keeping you in my prayers. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Spacemom DATE:Tuesday, February 24, 2009 at 4:26:00 PM EST So sad about your appointment.
So happy about the kiss! ----- --------