AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: 2009 - The Year of the Mom DATE: 1/17/2009 11:02:00 AM ----- BODY:
Most days, I still forget to think of myself as a mom. Little Bird is almost one now, and a lot of times it still amazes me that I'm "Mama" to someone.

I'm not a woman who feels like she has lost her identity after becoming a mother. It's quite the opposite really.

I feel like I've finally found myself.

Yesterday I went to get a haircut. The first one since July. My poor Trish. I might be solely responsible for any economic downturn in my life. I was a regular cut, color, wax on her schedule. Now Kevin colors my hair on a Saturday night after Christopher is asleep for the night, and my hair is just, well, just long. Nothing fancy. Just ridiculously long.

Anyway, I walked into the salon in a sweatshirt and a ponytail. I hadn't even brushed my hair through in 2 days, but not because I don't care how I look. Actually, I burned the crap out of my head with the flat iron last Sunday and the quarter sized blister I left on my scalp was still healing. Trish saw me and I knew what she was thinking.

I struck a pose about five feet from her and said, "I know. I'm sexaaaaaaay."

She laughed and said, "You never imagined yourself like this, did you?"

I laughed too, and shook my head. No, I didn't. My old job required me to look like I made more money than I did (gotta love running a non-profit), so I at the very least needed to look put together. Granted, I was also working with kids, so there was a little leeway, but still. When you are asking for money all the time, the rule is, you need to look like you already have it.

I digress. As usual. Do you ever get to the middle of your post and ask yourself, "What in the world was I writing about?" That's where I am. I've got to go back and read. Hold on.

Right then. The Year of the Mom.

My resolution is probably different than a lot of other moms. I would actually like to learn how to do more as a mother. I have the 'me' thing down pat. I did the 'me' thing for 34 years, 11 months before Little Bird got here. That's a lot of 'me.' Even I don't need that much 'me.'

I don't long for afternoons away from my child so I can do all of the things I used to do. Manicures and pedicures aren't in the budget anymore anyway, so I can just punt that. What I long for are afternoons where I feel like I've taught my child something. I want to find all of the age appropriate outings in our hometown and do them. Go places. See things. Have fun. Learn all there is to learn.

I've always had a healthy competitive edge to me. Mostly, I'm competitive with myself - wanting to do the absolute best job that I can. Be better at whatever I'm doing than anyone else could be. Maybe that's a little of where my resolution comes from. Wanting to be the best mom I possibly can be.

It's also possible though, that I've had a lot of gigs, and this is - by far - the best gig ever.

If 2009 is the Year of the Mom, then I think it's going to be my favorite year yet.

This post is part of a blast with Kristen at Motherhood Uncensored where you can find a list of links to other mama resolutions.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous nikki DATE:Saturday, January 17, 2009 at 11:47:00 AM EST I love this post, Marty. I feel the same way, most of the time - I don't really miss not being a mom. Oh, except last night, as I put the laundry in the dryer, I was struck by this sudden overwhelming urge to go see a movie in the theater. Which, I realize, I haven't done since my second trimester. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Candygirlflies DATE:Saturday, January 17, 2009 at 7:09:00 PM EST Marty-- I'm just catching up with your blog, and I want you to know I'm thinking of you. Motherhood is so full of celebrations, of milestones, of love and of losses...

This may be the Year of the Mom... and you sound like a pretty fantastic candidate for "Mother of the Year".

Love you, my friend.

xoxo CGF ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Susie DATE:Thursday, January 22, 2009 at 10:23:00 AM EST Amen.

Occasionally, I do miss life before kids but only in moments, snippets. I can't really remember my life before children except that I spent a great deal of time wanting to become a mom. Every now and again though, I'd love to load to the dishwasher without "help." ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Beautifully Unique DATE:Friday, January 23, 2009 at 12:47:00 PM EST Being a mom is the best thing ever!!! I too want to spend as much time as I can with my kids. I want my kids with me all the time. Some people think I am a little over the top but I can't help it, I want my kids with me. They complete me! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Thrift Store Mama DATE:Monday, February 9, 2009 at 10:07:00 PM EST Found you through Why Mommy. I was "me" for 32 years before I had my first - yeah, I had a lot of me and I just find that it's not a big deal right now... ----- --------