AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: We time DATE: 12/19/2008 10:48:00 AM ----- BODY:
Little Bird has a cold. Low grade fever, snotty nose, little cough, and general patheticness. At 4:00 AM, he was awake without wanting to be. I changed him, wiped his nose, gave him some more saline drops, and nursed him back to sleep. As soon as his head landed on the crib mattress, he sat up, raised his arms, and let out a whimpering, "Maaaaamaaaaa."

How could I do anything but pick him up again?

We haven't co-slept since he was probably 3 or 4 months old. It got to where he wasn't sleeping well unless he had a booby in his mouth all night long, and I just couldn't handle that. He also liked to sleep perpendicular to me and Kevin - punching one of us in the back and kicking the other. Bird moved to the crib. We have all slept better ever since.

I miss the snuggles though, and I miss waking up right after he does to see his little face peering into mine, or better yet, have him sticking his finger in my mouth and poking at my teeth.

This morning, I lifted him back out of his crib, and we crept into the bedroom where Kevin was still asleep. I piled pillows into the bed around my side so that I could prop my arms up and hold Little Bird against my chest.

He burrowed into my shoulder, threw an arm over my chest, let out a sigh, and fell asleep.

I slept off and on, but mainly just rested. Listening to my son breathe, stroking his head, wiping his nose, and being overwhelmed with how much I love him.

I don't know when it happened, but there has been this shift in motherhood. Whereas I have always loved Little Bird and wanted to take care of him and sustain him, the first half of the year felt very much like it was something I had to do. It was my new job and my sole responsibility.

The shift though, is in my desire. Little Bird has become his own little person, and there is no one I would rather spend time with. My roots are taking over the top of my head, and I don't care. I don't want to spend the three hours away from Bird to get my hair done. Dinner out with friends? Not right now. Lunch is great, but it needs to be somewhere with a highchair because my favorite person is coming with me.

I assume there will be another shift, one in which I desire some "me" time. Right now though, I'm perfectly fine with the "we" time.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Stella DATE:Friday, December 19, 2008 at 7:49:00 PM EST I love that picture.

I hope bird is feeling better.

Sometimes, as much as I hate when they are sick, I love those moments of colds because it's when they cuddle and snuggle the most. It's in those moments that I find peace. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous nikki DATE:Friday, December 19, 2008 at 10:16:00 PM EST Poor little guy. Abby is getting over a cold, and has pinkeye. And I can't ignore the pitiful "mamama" cry either.

She will not, however, co-sleep, EVER, and it kind of breaks my heart. We never did it with her because she was always wide-awake if she saw one of us. But I often wish she were the type of kid who would do it now and then. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous toddlerplanet DATE:Saturday, December 20, 2008 at 12:15:00 PM EST Awesome. I'm glad to see this happen for you. I explain my choice to be a stay at home mom like this -- "I meant to go back to work, but then I fell in love with my kid."

Totally.

Enjoy this time with Bird. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Barry DATE:Saturday, December 20, 2008 at 5:31:00 PM EST And that's just the way God feels about us; that's why he made us parents, so we would know how much we are adored. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Lisa DATE:Saturday, December 20, 2008 at 10:30:00 PM EST Beautifully expressed. In the last couple of weeks or so, my 8 year old son was sick for a couple of days. He told me that "I like it when it's just us." Precious, fragile times. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous No Minimom DATE:Monday, December 22, 2008 at 2:01:00 PM EST I'm going to blog about this some day, but I feel the exact same way about my Boo. In fact, sometimes I feel bad because I want to spend so much time with him that I think I'm neglecting his brother. I know you know what I mean when I say that I just worked so so hard for Boo and so many awful days preceded his birth that now I never want to be without him. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous @sweetbabboo DATE:Sunday, December 28, 2008 at 9:34:00 PM EST How sweet. They are so cuddly when sick and icky. I don't know when it happens either but they become so much a part of who you are that leaving them behind feels like losing a limb. Enjoy him, before long he'll be off and running and you'll struggle just to keep up. ----- --------