AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Not quite yet DATE: 12/04/2008 10:37:00 AM ----- BODY:

It's almost time.

Chelsea, otherwise known as "Pupstar" here, is 14. She has kidney failure. Her back legs frequently give out on her, as does her bladder - whenever and where ever. She has sores that won't heal, and is on antibiotics for a tooth abscess.

In fact, she is on five medications at every meal and eats prescription dog food. The money spent on my dog would be embarrassing compared to what some families can spend on a child each month.

But she has been my constant companion for 14 years.

Ashley found her for me. A girl we were in school with found this tiny white puppy wandering along the side of the road. Ashley went to see it before they took it to the pound, and called me when she got there.
"Bird, you have got to come see this pup."

"I can't do that. If I come over and see the pup, you know it's coming home with us."

"Bird, you have got to come see this pup."

Chelsea came back to the apartment with us and proceeded to terrorize Ashley's cats, Tess and Todd; pee on her notes, biology; and basically win the hearts of everyone who met her. Except possibly Farrar, whose eggnog she simply wouldn't give up drinking.

Fourteen years later, Chelsea is still with me. We've moved five times. We've lived with six different people. We've had five different dogs join our family, and countless fosters come and go. We've been married and divorced and married again. She's tolerated Little Bird taking her place as the baby, but not without climbing into the Moses basket for a nap more than once.

But she is worse now. Even with the Pepcid, she is vomiting again. She isn't as excited about dinner time as she once was. I often have to lift her up the two steps in from the backyard. She lays at my feet, but doesn't stir when I get up.

It's almost time.

But it's not time.

I told her this morning, whispered in her ear, that she could go now. That I loved her and that she was a good dog. I looked into her eyes and kissed her little snoot. Of course, she's deaf, and a dog, so I don't know what good that did, but it made me feel a little better.

I'm hoping she goes in her sleep. I don't want to make that call to the vet. I will if I have too, but I just don't want to.

She is the best dog ever.

Chelsea with her Christmas elf moments before gutting it.

Labels: Grief, Pups

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Kendra DATE:Thursday, December 4, 2008 at 12:28:00 PM EST I'm so sorry for you. I'm sure she has a wonderful life with you and your family. My heart goes out to you. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Ashley DATE:Thursday, December 4, 2008 at 11:20:00 PM EST ok. now i'm crying again over chelsea. stop it bird! I'm just a ridiculous flurry of emotions here. that picture is ripping my heart. sweet baby girl. tell her i love her. kiss her for me every day, ok? ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Nita DATE:Friday, December 5, 2008 at 12:04:00 AM EST I love you. I love that you love her so much. I know you will know the right thing to do. Remember, you have to be strong and make the right decisions for her, no matter how much it hurts.

Gah - I'm about to start bawling. Damn you woman! This is TWICE in one day you got me all teary of your dog. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Beautifully Unique DATE:Friday, December 5, 2008 at 11:25:00 AM EST I'm so sorry girlfriend! I can't even imagine how hard it must be for you.
I'm praying for you both! **smooches** ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Topaz DATE:Friday, December 5, 2008 at 12:30:00 PM EST (((hugs))) This is such a tough situation to go through. Do remember all the awesome times you had together but do think of her. I waited too long with one of my cats and ended up bringing him to the vet howling (he had cancer). I so wish I would have gone earlier to save him and I that awful pain.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Susie DATE:Friday, December 5, 2008 at 2:30:00 PM EST Oh, I am so sorry. It's so hard to know what to do - to know what your canine companion needs more from you. I hope for a sleep-filled, peaceful passing. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Stimey DATE:Friday, December 5, 2008 at 10:57:00 PM EST I'm so sorry. Hugs to you and Chelsea. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

@sweetbabboo DATE:Saturday, December 6, 2008 at 4:01:00 PM EST I'm so sorry. It's the worst kind of pain knowing you're about to lose a best friend and constant companion. I'm crying for your hurt and hoping for a peaceful passing whatever form it takes. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Clifford DATE:Monday, December 8, 2008 at 2:50:00 AM EST Think of it this way...Sugar gets a new playmate / object of slobber. Like a lot of slobber. Tons. The Splashwater Falls of doggie slobber. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Bubblewench DATE:Tuesday, December 16, 2008 at 10:46:00 AM EST I'm so sorry. Catching up here. Glad you are posting again, but you're ripping my heart out! Poor puppy. ----- --------