AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Long goodbye DATE: 12/12/2008 09:25:00 PM ----- BODY:
It's done. Chelsea left us today around 2:00 PM. She died with her head in my hands, and me telling her how much I loved her.

I have spent the day swinging wildly between knowing I was doing the right thing and doubting that I could ever have the wisdom to end her life.

One bite of yogurt spooned into Little Bird's mouth, and I'm smiling at Kevin, telling him that I'm relieved that my sweet pup isn't in pain anymore. By the time I'm catching what Bird spit out on the spoon, I'm sobbing that she didn't want to leave me and I miss her so much.

I'm basically a wreck.

The thing is, logically I know it was right. They gave her a little Valium before the big drugs, and she was finally able to bend her back legs and lie down again. Finally, she lay with her head in my lap again; something she hadn't done for over a year.

Only after the Valium, I wanted to scoop her up and take her home. I wanted to say, "Thanks! That was just what she needed!" and run away with her.

But it was time.

The front office at vet handled it horribly, but I need to think about how to write about it before I put it out there. I knew that it was going to be hard to do, but the incompetence of the office workers made it so much harder, I don't even know what to think tonight.

For tonight, I'm just going to stay in the place where I miss her, I love her, and I pray that I did the best thing for her. It's tenuous enough to stay in the confidence that I did right by her.

Fourteen years, my best girl. My most consistent companion through all of the biggest changes in my life.

I love you, Chels.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Candygirlflies DATE:Saturday, December 13, 2008 at 8:10:00 AM EST Oh, my dear, I am so very sorry for your loss... You will feel it keenly-- SHOULD feel it keenly-- she was such a good, loyal friend to you.

Be kind to yourself, and cut yourself lots of "slack" over the next few weeks. The loss of a family member is so terribly hard.

I'm thinking of you-- and your Chelsea, running freely up there in that big leash-free park in the sky!!

xoxoxo CGF ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Brenda DATE:Saturday, December 13, 2008 at 3:05:00 PM EST First I want to say how happy I am that you are back. I am a Arizona reader and missed you and Bird terriably. Then I want to tell you how sorry I am. I had to do the same thing to my beloved Klide. He had a tumor in his stomach that in 2 weeks had grown to the size of a large watermelon. There was nothing I could do. I tried, and spent a lot of money trying to make myself happy but seeing him suffer. Finally I just told them, I could only say it once so listen now. If he needs to go tell me now. They said there was nothing else that could be done. So like you I had to make the right decision and just be there for him. It was so hard, I cried like a baby for hours. But it was the right thing to do. You are a really strong woman that has been through hell and more. You will be alright. It will just take some time. I promise. Your Arizona fan.
Brenda ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Mrs. Chicken DATE:Saturday, December 13, 2008 at 7:30:00 PM EST I'm so sorry. It is terrible to put your dog down. I've been through it twice. Thinking of you. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Michelle Lynn DATE:Saturday, December 13, 2008 at 9:14:00 PM EST I'm so sorry. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Stimey DATE:Saturday, December 13, 2008 at 11:05:00 PM EST You did the right thing, but that doesn't make it any easier. I'm so sorry. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Clifford DATE:Saturday, December 13, 2008 at 11:48:00 PM EST and she is totally covered in Sugar-slobber right about now. :D ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Stella DATE:Sunday, December 14, 2008 at 10:59:00 PM EST I am so very sorry for your loss. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous J from Ireland DATE:Monday, December 15, 2008 at 7:17:00 AM EST By the way, I'm so glad your back!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous J from Ireland DATE:Monday, December 15, 2008 at 7:17:00 AM EST I am so sorry for your loss. I certainly think you did the right thing. Best wishes to you. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Tuesday, December 16, 2008 at 10:48:00 AM EST I am so very sorry. Lots of hugs. I'm glad you had 14 years with such a loving pup. She will be missed. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Becki DATE:Wednesday, December 17, 2008 at 12:14:00 AM EST So sorry for the loss of your longtime companion :( ----- --------