AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Intuition DATE: 2/05/2008 11:37:00 AM ----- BODY:
I've spent the past week trying to learn how to do this thing called motherhood. Some parts of it come naturally. Others are being learned through trial and error. And still more is being learned through the advice of friends and family.

My parents are gone. Guy has gone back to work. It's just me and Christopher, and of course the pups during the day. It's quiet, and it's giving me the chance to get to know this little bird of mine. We are doing alright.

Sunday, we had a session with a newborn photographer. Lovely was with us too, so it was perfect timing to get some family shots as well. Thing is, Christopher decided that he would just be hungry or awake the whole time. No sleeping baby shots for us. He also let loose with the most poop I have seen come out of him yet - while he was naked. In my arms. I had handfuls of runny yellow brown poop. And I didn't mind. Amazing.

I didn't understand what people were telling me about just "knowing" how to be his momma. Before he was born, it was blind faither that you all knew what you were talking about, and that once he was here, I would suddenly get it. But you were right. Granted, I learn new things every day. I'm still unsure of a lot of things, but you were right. I do know how to be his mom.

I know when he needs to be picked up. I know that the sound of my voice is going to stop him from crying unless something is hurting him. I know that he much prefers the right boob over the left one. I know that he loves to sleep on either my chest or his daddy's chest, bundled up like a little peanut. I know that he hates to be hot.

Last night, I didn't know how to help him though. He was inconsolable for about two hours. We tried to nurse; we rocked; we walked; we bounced; we took off clothes and put them back on. Finally, we called the doctor. The 24 hour nurse talked me through his day and told me it was most likely his tummy and some wicked gas. She gave us some things to try, and within about 30 minutes, he was asleep. I let him sleep on my chest like a little peanut because I didn't want to risk putting him down and waking him up again.

As he lay there, finally consoled and content, I gently rubbed my face across the top of his head. It's so soft. It smells so good.

What I don't know, I can learn. There are family, friends, nurses, doctors, books, and the web to help provide me with information.

What I do know though, can't be taught. I understand that now. All the preparing I tried to do - all the reading and all the questions - they just won't teach you.

You know how to be a mother right when you become a mother. I get that now.


----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Stella DATE:Tuesday, February 5, 2008 at 1:12:00 PM EST Beautiful and so true ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous KimmieRo DATE:Tuesday, February 5, 2008 at 1:21:00 PM EST I just hate those cries. They shred your heart.

Isn't it amazing how naturally some of it comes?

I wish I could snuggle him. Give that sweetheart a love from me. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Jessica @ A Bushel and a Peck DATE:Tuesday, February 5, 2008 at 1:42:00 PM EST So beautiful and so true. Well said. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Sara DATE:Tuesday, February 5, 2008 at 3:18:00 PM EST Congrats mama.

Isn't it amazing.

Yeah ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Imstell DATE:Tuesday, February 5, 2008 at 4:26:00 PM EST You are going to make the best Mama. I only have two words of advice... Gas Drops. Buy LOTS. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Candygirlflies DATE:Tuesday, February 5, 2008 at 4:42:00 PM EST Yay you!!!!!

xoxo CGF ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous ~JJ! DATE:Tuesday, February 5, 2008 at 4:45:00 PM EST What a sweet post.

You're lucky.

That intuition didn't happen for me for months.

I wish I had this post back then, I could've learned something from you. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bethany DATE:Tuesday, February 5, 2008 at 5:09:00 PM EST That post was exactly what I was feeling and thinking 5 months ago when my daughter was born. Congrats on Christopher, and loving being a new mom. I'm right there with ya. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous slouchy DATE:Tuesday, February 5, 2008 at 7:29:00 PM EST awww. this has me teary.

you're on a marvelous journey, friend. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous toddlerplanet DATE:Tuesday, February 5, 2008 at 8:42:00 PM EST Yup. Glad you're getting to experience this with a newborn. Your newborn.

It's so beautiful. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous A Journey of Hope DATE:Wednesday, February 6, 2008 at 12:04:00 AM EST amen to this... so sweet too. i copied and pasted your post and sent it to my 1st time pregnant best friend cuz she has very much the same feelings you did before Christopher arrived... and she replied with "that gave me the shivers"... i love how you put words together M.

and isn't being a mom simply the freakin' best? ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Mamma DATE:Wednesday, February 6, 2008 at 12:27:00 AM EST I love hearing this. I just knew this is the wonderful mother you'd be. I'm glad you're being easy with yourself and trusting your gut.

My heart is bursting with the joy I'm hearing through your words. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Anth DATE:Wednesday, February 6, 2008 at 12:55:00 AM EST Well said. Flexing and learning to trust my intuition has been one of my favorite internal changes with the onset of motherhood. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Steph DATE:Wednesday, February 6, 2008 at 8:20:00 AM EST You made me teary eyed. I dont like those cries either. You are doing amazing. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Paige Jennifer DATE:Wednesday, February 6, 2008 at 10:27:00 AM EST I felt totally awkward cradling my nephew. Like what if his head fell off or he snarfed the formula. But my niece? Yeah, we just clicked. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous slackermommy DATE:Wednesday, February 6, 2008 at 4:59:00 PM EST It does not surprise me that you are taking to this mothering gig so well. You are such a comforting soul.

I can relate to the poop during the photo shoot. I had two girls before my boy so I was not prepared for how they pee as soon as their penis feels open air. We were having his newborn photos done and of course he was naked. He peed right in my mouth! The photographer was grossed out but I found it hysterical. What's a little baby pee! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Heather L. DATE:Wednesday, February 6, 2008 at 5:24:00 PM EST Congrats on your baby being born. Sorry that i have been a bad blogger lately. I will have to try to find some time to write. I am almost 24 weeks and still pregnant! I can't believe it. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Ally DATE:Wednesday, February 6, 2008 at 11:16:00 PM EST What is it with the right boob and its Most Favored Boob Status? Same in our house. The Superboob, Tobin called it.

Love this post, the poop, the smell of Christopher's head, everything. Treasure this. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous LIBSMOM DATE:Thursday, February 7, 2008 at 7:13:00 PM EST Isn't it an amazing gift? I will serve you well throughout his whole life.
Glad you were present to get it.
I remember that soft, sweet smelling newborn head. There really is nothing like it, even chocolate pales in comparison. ----- --------