AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: I do believe I need a little res-SPITE DATE: 12/18/2007 12:32:00 PM ----- BODY:
Last night Guy and I toured the birth center at the hospital where Little Bird will be born. It was very un-momentous, but highly entertaining.

I'm not sure who I thought would be giving the tour, but I didn't think it would be Alvin, the volunteer. Alvin was a nice older man who reminded us of Papa. He said "okay" inbetween every third word, and he mumbled as he walked backwards but was clear and loud when we stopped.

On every floor of the birth center there was a respite nursery. A place where Mom can send the baby if she needs a break or a respite.

Every time we passed one, Alvin would point it out and call it the res-spite room, with the accent over the spite, with a long I sound.

Then, at the end of the tour, he couldn't understand why we didn't have any questions for him. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I couldn't ask questions of a man who mispronounced that word over and over and over again.

Guy and I got tickled over Alvin and his "okay's" and "res-SPITE's," but we couldn't help but get tickled at the father-to-be in the teamster's jacket that asked something about food every time we stopped. Where was the cafeteria? How much was the food? What did they serve? Can he order into the room? What could his wife eat? Was it any good, because, you know, school cafeterias serve crap.

We were so done with him by the second stop.

The evening started with a video. Technically, the evening started with waiting 20 minutes for a video. As we waited, we flipped through a book of "articles" which were really just advertisements. In the section highlighting decor for nurseries and children's rooms, we came across a little boy's room that was painted like stables and decorated with horses. The subtitle across the top of the page talked about making his dreams come true.

Guy snorted and started mumbling about how they could do that now, but when that kid grew up there would nothing but disappointment because he had been given it all, blah, blah, blah. He stopped that mumbling when I pointed to these words in the story, "inoperable brain tumor."


He didn't know.

And then we laughed inappropriately until I had to dig tissue out of my purse to dry my eyes and his. What is it about inappropriate laughter that just causes you to keep laughing harder and harder?

I'm so glad that we waited to take this tour though. In my second trimester, I was pretty uptight and worried about finding the perfect environment to bring Little Bird into this world. Now, I know that the perfect environment is the one where we are.

Right there with his parents.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Jennie DATE:Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 1:38:00 PM EST That's awesome. Our tour was nowhere near as memorable as that one. Although, we always manage to be the couple fighting inappropriate laughter, too. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Mamma DATE:Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 1:46:00 PM EST The woman who led my birthing class mispronounced cervix for two days straight! Cer-vex, cer-vex, cer-vex. Oy!!

I laughed when you said you had worried about the perfect place to bring little bird into the world. By the end, you won't care if the baby is pulled out of your nose on the street corner, you'll be so DONE with being pregnant. (How's that for inappropriate laughter?)

Missing you!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Tiffany DATE:Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 2:44:00 PM EST What an experience!! I can't believe you are almost there, I can't wait to meet Little Bird!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous No Minimom DATE:Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 3:42:00 PM EST I cannot believe you are only 6 weeks (or less) away from meeting your Little Bird! So exciting!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Wednesday, December 19, 2007 at 10:49:00 AM EST I'm glad you feel better about your birthing place.

That inappropriate laughter is the best and totally contagious.

Can't wait to see Little Bird in your arms! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Jenn DATE:Wednesday, December 19, 2007 at 7:39:00 PM EST I was just wondering if perhaps you could check and see if there is an age limit on the kids that you can send off to the respite room. ----- --------