AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Haiku Friday, I love Santa way more than these kids DATE: 12/14/2007 01:06:00 PM ----- BODY:
I missed the haiku party last week. Shame on me and shame on my emotional roller coaster. I hope to make it up to you this week with one of my favorite sites to visit around the holidays:

Scared of Santa photo gallery. I don't remember how I found it, but it is home to some of the best children with Santa photos that I've seen.

The one on my left is my personal favorite. Guy and I made Christmas CD's for friends one year and this was the insert picture. The CD's had the worst Christmas tunes we could find on it including Johnny Mathis' rendition of the "Hallelujah Chorus," Stevie Nicks murdering "Silent Night," and Chaka Khan singing "The Christmas Song" with her mouth full of marbles. All she wanted was a "turn key and some middle toe." One person actually gave theirs back to us. She had no sense of humor whatsoever.

So in honor of the season, here is my haiku about Santa's lap. If I can find it, I'll add the last picture I had taken on Santa's lap when I was in college. Naughty Santa. He just so happened to be one of my drinking choir buddies. I'm surprised we didn't get him fired.

Santa at the mall
The day after Thanksgiving
Better dry out soon.

Pulling at his beard
The children know the difference
Just a fat old man.

Santa at the mall
Scoping out the hot mommies
He pats his lap, "Sit."

Next year Bird will go
Take pictures with his sister
And the fat old man.

Go visit Jennifer to find more fabulous haiku. You'll find yourself tapping out your words with your fingers the rest of the day. 5, 7, 5. Yep. Haiku that, my friend.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Jennie DATE:Friday, December 14, 2007 at 1:35:00 PM EST That is such a great picture!

And for the record, I would have loved your CDs....I kind of want to copy you. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Kelly DATE:Friday, December 14, 2007 at 2:22:00 PM EST Ha! Double Ha! Great pic and great haiku. I'm avoiding the mall Santa, since I know my kids wouldn't go anywhere near him. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bananas DATE:Friday, December 14, 2007 at 2:57:00 PM EST Love it. And those pictures are AWESOME!!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous No Minimom DATE:Friday, December 14, 2007 at 3:56:00 PM EST I love that gallery, too!

And I'm ashamed to admit that I actually like Stevie Nick's version of "Silent Night". Yeah she sounds like Aunt Mildred after 3 packs of sigs and 5 shots of whiskey, but come on, it's Stevie Nicks! ;-) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Candygirlflies DATE:Friday, December 14, 2007 at 5:07:00 PM EST I am going to send you my personal favourite rendition of "The Twelve Days of Christmas".

That cd of terrible xmas tunes is a FABULOUS idea!! I'm going to make one for my brother-- he's going to LOVE it.

xo CGF ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Steph DATE:Friday, December 14, 2007 at 5:46:00 PM EST I love this 'Ku!! That's great :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Marla DATE:Friday, December 14, 2007 at 5:50:00 PM EST It's been fun reading all the haiku's. :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Paige Jennifer DATE:Friday, December 14, 2007 at 6:23:00 PM EST I look at photos like that and feel deprived. Yeah, totally NO FAIR that you Goys get to sit on a strange man's lap while us Jewish kids, well, don't.

(giggling - that photo is priceless) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Redneck Mommy DATE:Saturday, December 15, 2007 at 2:48:00 PM EST Love that picture!

Would pay money to see your naughty Santa photo.

And what would I have to do to get a copy of that Christmas c.d? I'm looking for a good gift to give to my mother-in-law...

Wink, wink. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Jenn DATE:Monday, December 17, 2007 at 9:47:00 AM EST I love that site, too.

Have you heard Ray Coniff's Christmas songs? It is not the holidays without them for me, but all of my friends always ask what the hell I'm listening to.

Beauty is in the ear of the beholder, I guess. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bubblewench DATE:Wednesday, December 19, 2007 at 10:45:00 AM EST That is a killer haiku and what a fantastic link!

I so want a copy of that horrible CD! I would play it all day. ----- --------