AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Today's conversation DATE: 8/23/2007 01:52:00 PM ----- BODY:

Nice lady at birth center: How many pregnancies have you had?

Me: This is the second. It will be my first child. *gulp*

Shit. Why does that still make me cry?

Happy and Sad live together. Each has their own little room. Sometimes they come out and play. Sometimes Sad kicks Happy in the shins for no reason. I'd like to give Sad a time out now.

Labels: Grief

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Bon DATE:Thursday, August 23, 2007 at 4:01:00 PM EDT what a great description of happy and sad and how they interact, Canape.

and sometimes it would be nice to lock Sad in its room, wouldn't it? but you know...at least for me, as time's gone on...i've discovered that Sad doesn't really take away from Happy's room, only makes me gladder to be there everytime i notice the difference.

but still, i am so sorry for that gulp...for that Sad that will always be a part of you. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Karaoke Diva DATE:Thursday, August 23, 2007 at 5:39:00 PM EDT I think I'll feel the same way when/if my day comes. And I think it's OK to be sad for what you lost and happy for what you have. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Lindsay DATE:Thursday, August 23, 2007 at 5:54:00 PM EDT I notice that sad/happy live together everytime I have an ultrasound. Sad lives in the upper right hand corner of the screen where it says Gravida/2, Para/o. Happy is right in the center where Little One is bouncing and kicking around.

Sorry for that little bit of sadness that you still have. Hopefully it helps to make the happiness all the sweeter. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

slackermommy DATE:Thursday, August 23, 2007 at 6:06:00 PM EDT Boy, can I relate to this post! I love your happy/sad analogy. My thoughts exactly.

I still feel sad about my miscarriage and it was over 8 years ago. But the baby that came after that miscarriage is so worth it. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Perugini DATE:Thursday, August 23, 2007 at 6:38:00 PM EDT Sorry about your Sad. Go lock it in the closet for a little bit.

I've lost 2 babies. That Sad stays with you forever, but it does make the happy sweeter. I went on to have 3, healthy blessings. Things definitely get sweeter! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

The Farm House Kids DATE:Thursday, August 23, 2007 at 10:53:00 PM EDT I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how devastating it is. I lost three little beings in a row. This past week it had been on my mind so great that I had a big cry and blogged about my shattered dreams in great depth. I think it really helped me. I also think my sad and happy met in the middle and I came out okay. This happened five years ago for me and then I went on to have the little trio that I have now. In my heart, they will never replace the ones I lost. It still hurts so much.

Tanya ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Ally DATE:Thursday, August 23, 2007 at 11:00:00 PM EDT I'm sorry for your Sad. I wish I could invite it over for a playdate today just to give you a break to take care of Happy. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Whymommy DATE:Thursday, August 23, 2007 at 11:42:00 PM EDT Bad Sad! Bad!

But Little Bird will be so much Happy. I am happy for you tonight, because of her/him. Hope all (else) went well at the appointment. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Sarah DATE:Friday, August 24, 2007 at 10:42:00 AM EDT me, too ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

T with Honey DATE:Friday, August 24, 2007 at 11:52:00 AM EDT I haven't had anyone ask me that since my chemical pregnancy. Thinking about it made me gulp too.

Sad, Sad go away!
It's time for Happy to come out and play! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Jennifer, Playgroups Are No Place For Children DATE:Friday, August 24, 2007 at 3:15:00 PM EDT What a great description. I never experienced a miscarriage/loss of a child, I don't know what it feels like, but I can only imagine that the sadness would always be there. Luckily Happy can come in and kick Sad in the shins, too. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Magpie DATE:Friday, August 24, 2007 at 8:41:00 PM EDT Damn - I know that feeling. Still - with a nearly 4yo child. When they ask how many pregnancies, I'm back there sobbing in my kitchen, sobbing on a street corner, sobbing in the lobby at intermission. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

slouchy DATE:Friday, August 24, 2007 at 10:51:00 PM EDT Oh, man. That last paragraph knocked me flat.

It was written so well -- the pain leaps off the page (screen).

I'm sorry. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:

Katrina DATE:Saturday, August 25, 2007 at 9:37:00 PM EDT The sad will never go away, but when you hold your child for the first time...Happy will knock Sad to the corner for a loonngg time :) ----- --------