AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Handing the control freak her notice DATE: 5/27/2007 07:36:00 PM ----- BODY:
We have been on the couch all day long. Except when I've been in the bathroom. Between my stomach and my sinuses, all forces are trying hard to get me to complain, but they can bite my ass. Not going to happen. I'm too fortunate right now.

Guy and I have snuggled with each other and a couple of pups. We have watched a few movies, answered a few phone calls.

My Bro called today. He wanted to know when I was going to the doctor. June 12. June 12 will be the day of the "nurse talk" and the first ultrasound. It is the same timing as the last one. He asked me if I could call them and tell them that I was anxious and wanted to go in sooner. I could. The doctor offered that when she saw me after the miscarriage. She said I could come in early "to ease my mind."

The thing is, I'm not anxious. And I'm not being perfect either. Diet Coke with Splenda? Still on the agenda. Feta cheese? On all of my salads. Joined a prenatal yoga class? Nope. I like my old one for right now, thank you.

You see, trying to be perfect got me nowhere last time. What it got me this time was peace of mind. There are odds and chances that exist. Odds in getting pregnant. Odds in staying pregnant. Odds in healthy children.

For months, I killed myself with those odds. Playing the numbers. Losing hand after hand.

And now? I'll take my terrible sinuses and rejection of food and relax. This control freak is taking some time off.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous AcadeMama DATE:Sunday, May 27, 2007 at 8:41:00 PM EDT Hooray for you having the strength to take a break from playing the numbers, and instead, just living life!! My best wishes and prayers are with you....and to be honest, I can't wait to hear how it goes on June 12th!! How about that?? All your bloggy friends can be nervous and anxious for you :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous the new girl DATE:Sunday, May 27, 2007 at 10:18:00 PM EDT Good for you.
I recommend huffing some vicks.
For the sinuses.

And just because it's fun. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Liz DATE:Sunday, May 27, 2007 at 10:24:00 PM EDT I love this post.

I hope you're really buying it, because I LOVE IT.

Good for you, Canape. You're brave and strong and smart and honest and all the wonderful things that make you a wonderful mother.

xoxo ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Paper Whore DATE:Monday, May 28, 2007 at 12:17:00 AM EDT Damn straight! Being perfect gets you nowhere. Which is why I enjoyed a jumbo margarita at dinner tonight, a mere week (or less! or more!) away from ovulation. GASP! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous gail DATE:Monday, May 28, 2007 at 10:47:00 AM EDT You go girl- rage on with your bad self! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Bon DATE:Monday, May 28, 2007 at 11:28:00 AM EDT i think you're quite right, about playing the odds. so little about pregnancy is really within our control (so long as you're not drinking drano & vodka cocktails or anything ridiculous), and sometimes - especially after you've gotten unlucky - the only way to stay sane and stave off bitterness is to say fuck you to being super careful. because even if you ARE, that doesn't guarantee you anything. and i think a sane, relaxed mommy is best in any case.

that said, I'M very excited for June 12th, on your behalf...! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Emmakirst DATE:Monday, May 28, 2007 at 1:22:00 PM EDT Yay for June 12 that'll be here before you know it. Can't wait to hear how the appointment goes. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous slouchy DATE:Monday, May 28, 2007 at 2:44:00 PM EDT I drank coffee throughout both of my pregnancies.

And my kids don't seem the worse for wear because of it...

Yeah for June 12! ----- --------