AUTHOR: Marty, a.k.a. canape TITLE: Coming up for air DATE: 3/11/2007 05:07:00 PM ----- BODY:
Apologies. Friday was what you call a bad day. A really bad day. On top of not feeling good physically.

Thank you for the kind words. I am grateful, but also slightly embarrassed that I needed them.

Therapy is hard. In order to be able to work through all the thoughts I was having Friday, I have to be able to say them. In order to say them, I have to stop crying long enough to speak.

And breathe.

Most days are better than that one. I often think to myself that I should step away from the keyboard if I'm starting a third glass of wine, but there was no wine that night. Just a no good awful crummy sucky day.

There are these places we go. Places that we shouldn't go. Places that are way low down and are where we can think destructive thoughts. I don't want to go there, but sometimes I look up and I'm there already. I don't even know how I got there.

I started climbing out yesterday, and today, I woke up and squinted at the light again.
It would be nice to not go back down there, but I'm not sure I can promise myself that yet. I can promise myself to keep climbing out again. And again.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Lizzy DATE:Sunday, March 11, 2007 at 7:29:00 PM EDT Dude. So NO NEED to apologize. Ever. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Gerbil DATE:Sunday, March 11, 2007 at 8:59:00 PM EDT There is absolutely no need for apologies for needing support & kind words, especially at a time like this. And it can be so hard to reach out to IRL friends and family... sometimes they just don't "get" it the way you need them to, ya know?

Only you know what you need to get through this, and if sometimes its the words and shoulders of other people, then by all means reach for it. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous gail DATE:Sunday, March 11, 2007 at 9:19:00 PM EDT Lizzy is so right... lots more lurve and hugs. ----- --------